pole jealousy...

Kari828 started this discussion · 8/25/2009

AAAARRRRGGGGG!!! so im feeling my first REAL pole jealousy ever. I have never felt this before. There are tons of girls who are better than me, advance faster than me, are more flexible, elegant,etc etc etc, than me on the pole. None of it has ever bothered me. Sure, I watch vids of you lovely ladies and get jealous sometimes, but its not a negative jealous (if that makes sense lol) Im happy for you and I want all my fellow polers to do well, and when i see a girl that started after me get a trick i've been trying forever im not mad, it just pushes me to try harder. BUT...so a long story longer... i bartend at night, and i am really good friends with the guy i bartend with, he started dating one of the waitresses and i became good friends with her (or so i thought) she came over my place a few times and i taught her a bunch of stuff on the pole, then when i got my x-pole and couldnt sell my flirty girl pole i decided to give it to her, i was gunna throw it away anyway, why not give it to her and spread the pole love right?? well, they break up and i don't hear from her again... granted the flirty girl pole is crappy, but it cost me $265 and i gave it to her. Im still friends with her on facebook and she just posted pics of her on the pole i gave her doing shit i showed her and she didnt mention me once...WTF!!! I dont want credit for her hard work practicing and stuff, but a phone call would be nice, or a thank you for a pole to practice on would be nice... im angry and hurt. So i was immature and posted a comment on the pics saying "wow, your teacher must have been awesome"... 😕

15 replies

Rara · 8/25/2009
Awllll Kari . Yeah at least she should do is keep you inform on her progress. I dont blame you for being kinda upset, it would upset me also. Maybe she will start talking to you again after she reads the comment you left. As for you , I think you are fantasic. You did start after I did , and I am no near where you are. Please dont get yourself down about it , its true when they say everyone learns at there own pace.
yogabeachbabe · 8/25/2009
That's so aggravating, isn't it?! Maybe she wants you to tell your friend, her ex, about the pictures and all the positive replies she got so it'll make HIM jealous!
Dayanara · 8/25/2009
That's not a immature comment, I would be upset too, she should have at least mentioned you, since you gave her the pole, I mean...i would be doing your dishes if you gave me a pole, it took me 4 months to save up for the one I have. lol. and I'm jealous of your superman and your reverse aysha. lol 🙂
Kari828 · 8/25/2009
thanks ladies... that makes me feel better to know im not over reacting... and btw, when i wrote that comment "ur teacher must have been awesome" i didnt mean it seriously or in a conceded way, i was just trying to make a point... im far from awesome and i know that...im just really hurt, part of the reason i gave it to her was in hopes to have a poling buddy cuz im alone here, i dont know any other girls that pole and she was the only one of my friends that showed any intrest... 🙁
violet · 8/25/2009
That sux 🙁 Hopefully she will respond to your comment. Is there are reason she doesnt talk to you anymore? Maybe you should write her and say "looking good, maybe we could get together for a practice sometime?" *shrug* As far as pole jealousy goes, i think we all know how that feels. Of course we are SO happy when someone nails a move. Its awesome! I've seen girls that started months before me that are already awesome at aerial inverts and can do shoulder mounts and choppers and a bunch of stuff that Im JUST NOW starting to get comfortable with. But its true, everyone does learn at their own pace. Background definitely plays a part, some people have always been active or took gymnastics or dance or went to the gym regularly. Me, I have none of the above. But even if it takes us longer we still get there eventually and know we worked DAMN HARD to get where we are.... even if people have passed us on some moves. Also, some moves come easier for other people than others. Dont get yourself down. Even if that chick decides not to talk to you. Move passed it, as frustrating as it may be... you'll find another buddy eventually! 🌸
Trena · 8/26/2009
I think that comment was perfect. Its not a definate dig at her but it might get her thinking! I would be upset too if I was you. If somebody had not only taught me cool pole stuff but also GIVEN me a pole I would have that person's name all over the photos and my profile, thanking him/her! Yeah sure she she had to practice to be able to do those moves but you gave her some foundation and A POLE so you deserve a little credit! 😠
nelly09 · 8/26/2009
Well you certainly handled that better than I would. I Honestly would have gone to her house knocking on her front door. Without saying anything, I would be like, "Sorry I forgot something." *takes pole back* and then be like, "Just like apparently you forgot to thank me." That's just the way I handle things. Oh well, but still. You deserve a whole lot more credit than that.
Kari828 · 8/26/2009
Thanks girls!! I did write her an e-mail asking her why she stopped talking to me, and she did give me some BS excuse, but for the sake of not loosing a friend over something so silly, Im going to try and let it go... if she continues to act like this... do it once shame on you, do it twice, shame on me... I'm going to give our friendship another try even though her reasoning was bull... let you all know how it goes... and BTW, she posted a comment after mine saying "yeah she is, and i couldn't have done it without her"... THATS RIGHT BITCH!!! j/k 😬
Kari828 · 8/26/2009
and btw...nelly...you are freakin hilarious... 😂
SissyBuns · 8/26/2009
Thanks girls!! I did write her an e-mail asking her why she stopped talking to me, and she did give me some BS excuse, but for the sake of not loosing a friend over something so silly, Im going to try and let it go... if she continues to act like this... do it once shame on you, do it twice, shame on me... I'm going to give our friendship another try even though her reasoning was bull... let you all know how it goes... and BTW, she posted a comment after mine saying "yeah she is, and i couldn't have done it without her"... THATS RIGHT BITCH!!! j/k 😬 LMAO!!!! You punked her!
Veena · 8/26/2009
Awwww I'm sorry you felt that way....I think you happen to be an excellent dancer. It does suck when you don't get the acknowledgment....trust me, happens to me all the time, sometimes a thanks is all you need 😐
Kari828 · 8/27/2009
I dont want credit for her hard work, I know what it takes to practice and everything, it was just the fact that i gave her a pole and showed her how to do a bunch of stuff and then she cut me off...anyway, im going to let it go now, move on and move up!! ps...I know myself, and most of the girls here, are beyond grateful to you Veena!! I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am without you and your lessons! Even when I learn something from another girl on the site I have to give it up to you cuz without your site I wouldn't have met them! so THANK YOU VEENA!! We love you! 😀 😀 😀
pole-twista · 9/12/2009
omg do i hear you on this one. i was just thinking earler today how i wish i wish i would have sold my first chrome pole to someone other than this "friend" who i taught to pole. i sold it at a huge discount (brand new in the box) bc i thought it would be great to have a friend in the neighborhood to pole with but she is the type who wanted a pole more to show off and brag rather than actually use it. she talks about wanting to loose weight constantly, and tells me how "lucky" i am (actually tells me what a lucky bitch i am and it's obvious it's jealousy and not her being happy for me considering how much money, energy, and time into learning) she spent crazy time/$ putting together this great pole room and barely ever uses it. when other girls comes over she's more3 than happy to show off the little bit she's learned (had the pole up for over a year and a half and can't do a basic invert or alot of the even basic spins (bc she wants to try once and be perfect or forget it) bc the girls ooohhh and ahhhh over her but if im there obviously i'm doing more advanced things and the spotlight isnt on her anymore so she ends uo getting pouty. it just pisses me off that if it wasn't for me (she had no idea about x-pole, lil mnyx ect. she would never have a pole in her house never mind be able to do the spins and climbing she can do now and she never mentions me ever. it's never like thanks, or oh ya she showed me how to do that ect just like you said i don't want credit for her accomplishments but it would be nice to be acknowledged and maybe evemn appreciated. it is super annoying sometimes, but don't let things like that take up to much of your time or mental energy! ☀️
DollyDelicious · 9/12/2009
Kari, ur comment on her facebook-pics kicked ass!! Well done, girl!!! 😀 And I feel bad for you to not get any credit or thanks at all 🙁 But remember: She may do better at pole (currently), but you're doing better as a good human!! <3
PrettyKitty · 11/19/2009
That was extremely selfish of her not to even mention you or show thanks i would definitely be pissed!! Did you guys ever become pole buddies I wish you you had someone to practice with it makes poleing so much more fun???