Pole fears.... Strength related?

Panix started this discussion · 3/16/2015

Hi everyone! I signed up for Veena's lessons about a month ago but haven't really posted anything yet. I have read the forum quite a bit though and love all the information available here!! Everyone seems very helpful and ful of good advice! I am very new to pole, I only started last November. I have been taking lessons at a studio near me, and I just love it!! I see what people mean when they say you get obsessed with pole... It is pretty much all I can think about!! Unfortunately though, I am moving very soon, to a small town without a pole studio. I am very sad to leave my studio, because I absolutely love going to the lessons! I have no friends that like pole dance, so going to a studio I am able to talk to other people who are interested, and I am afraid just learning from home I am going to get very lonely. I would love to be more active on this site, because it seems like a great place to meet people! Right now though, I have one question. When I started pole, I had zero upper body strength. I couldn't even do one push up. And core strength? What was that?? I have loved over the past months seeing the changes to my body, and seeing the new muscles, and realizing how much stronger I have become. However, at my studio we are just starting to get to a bit more advanced moves, specifically moves like cross knee release and super girl. And I know I still have a long way to go strength wise. I love pole dancing, but actually, anything inverted scares me so much!! I have such a great fear of falling and hurting myself badly. Whenever I do the cross knee release, or see the cross ankle release, I picture falling out of it and onto my head or neck. So my question is this! Will I get over this fear as I get stronger? Am I just afraid because I know I am not strong enough? Has anyone had the same fear and gotten over it? Does it just take time, and eventually you get comfortable enough in your abilities to know you won't fall? I am scared of pretty much anything inverted right now, and even doing a hand stand is way outside my comfort zone :P Sorry this got so long, didn't even realize until I was done writing, thanks for sticking with me :)

13 replies

Wcox · 3/16/2015
I started my journey with Veena's lessons and decided to join a studio when I got to the inverts. I was extremely terrified of hurting myself. I have anxiety about most new moves - the worst was probably the cup grip shoulder mount. I have found with poling at home, there was a need to always be recording myself. Once I do something I watch to see what needs to be adjusted. The fears do go away :)
Beccaf87 · 3/16/2015
I have noticed the stronger I get, the lesser the fear is. I take one trick at a time and build to the next one. I loved my old studio because it focused on strength and confidence. I now take these lessons but will soon start inverting again. I am a bit nervous about doing it on my own, but the only studio that has lessons when I am free (or in general) seems to focus on routines and not learning/improving tricks. I did not feel safe when I took a class there. For inverting, I started doing it very close to the floor. Nearly on the floor actually. That helped a lot. Elbow stands against the pole helped as well. Do a lot of knee tucks. Those were crucial for me to get the strength and ability to invert. Try to get a little higher with the knee tucks each lesson. Even if you can do fewer of them. One day I was doing them and managed to get my invert. Had no idea I had it in me! It was very exciting.
Veena · 3/16/2015
Try doing a search on Pole Fears here and you'll see you're not alone in this feeling, you will also see more suggestions. Strength will help, and as mentioned, always learn everything you possibly can from the floor or as close to the floor as possible. Always use a crash mat. Our thoughts create our reality so it's important to focus on what we WANT to happen, and not what we DON'T. Work on picturing yourself doing Inverts and such with ease and pefectly, do this through out the day and before you practice or work on the move. Never indulge the thoughts of falling with continuing to focus on them, stop and redirect your mind.
Veena · 3/16/2015
ah, sorry for the typo's!!
MizMacy · 3/16/2015
I definitely had those fears at the beginning. It seemed like it took me forever to invert when other people are willing to just try it on their first day. Once I got the invert though and was able to actually let go with my hands it has become my favorite trick. The cross ankle release was another obstacle that took me longer than everyone else it seemed to get. I think we all have our different fear thresholds and comfort zones and as long as you keep working up to it you will get there in your own time. And you'll probably even have better form because you will be more prepared along the way.
Phoenix Hunter · 3/16/2015
yes, it does get better as you get stronger and more comfortable with your abilites. Like Veena said, put that out of your mind. seriously dont let your mind go there. I know that is easier said than done but everytime that comes up in your mind, become aware that you are thinking it and make the choice to let it go. using a crash mat helps with alot of my fears. I still have fears when learning new tricks I am not comfortable with. and now I cant believe I was actaully scared of some things that dont bother me now. And alot the things I was so afraid of that they would make me cry- are actually my favorite moves to do. you dont believe that right now, but you will see it. handstands used to make me cry and wanna run out of class. I love them now!! also, consciously working on building strength for a particular trick helps me too. both physically and mentally. take baby steps when doing something you are scared of. I was terribly afraid of cross ankle release. I would just get in the sitting position ready to do it and maybe only take one hand off the pole without leaning back. I did that till I was very comfortable with that. if all you can do is a pole sit and think about doing the layback, well that's one step closer. be patient with yourself. the more your try something even if you dont go all the way with it, the less afraid you will become. this is not just psychological, your body is also learning how to grip and what to do next. also, with Cross knee release, I believe veena has a lesson where she shows you how to do that from the floor. anytime you can practice from the floor, do it.
Lucca Valentine · 3/16/2015
As far as getting comfortable with the upside down feeling...try working on the elbow stand/headstand that Veena teaches here. Going upside down is not a feeling most of us are used to, and that has you supported with a pretty low base, a tripod, and a pole! So it feels MUCH more secure than a handstand :)
Skullpixie · 3/16/2015
Been a while since I posted in here, it's a great place! I think I go through the same thing I have a fear of some new moves especially elbow grip ayesha it's a real nemesis of mine and I'm determined to get it I keep picturing my self doing it lol I know it will come at some point so I'm working on strength training my entire body and stretching at the mo not worrying too much about new tricks but perfecting the ones I can do at the mo. Not sure if that helps but it's what works for me. When your feeling alone on your pole journey studio Veena is the best place to come for company and lessons too. ❤️😊
Runemist34 · 3/16/2015
I actually share this fear- I've been afraid of being upside down for a long time. It holds me back, and yes, I know that I am strong enough. For example, I know that I'm strong enough to do a Cross ankle release, and I can do them from the ground with NO problem, lifting myself up into a sit from that position. But, can I do it after climbing? Nope. No way. Doing basic inverts, and into things like the inverted crucifix, scares me even more. I can see the ground, and I don't trust that my arms will be able to help me if I fall, or that my body will know how to keep me safe. But, as I said, I KNOW that I am strong enough. I've had instances of falling out of moves like Cross ankle release, and came away uninjured. I've fallen in many other ways, too- things like going really fast on roller blades when I was trying to learn, and hitting a rock. I flipped around in the air, and landed, continuing the momentum with the roll. Again, came out uninjured, though my jeans took a bit of a beating! My body knows what to do. I am stronger than I think I am. Heck, my MOM did a forearm stand twice during yoga a couple weeks ago, and I'm way stronger than she is! But, the fear holds me back from a move that I want so much: a handstand, or forearm stand, anything like that. Knowing how much I do about fear, the only and best advice is this: You must face it. Fears like this are all about reward. You are rewarding your brain by feeling the fear by avoiding the thing you're afraid of- you're reinforcing your belief that it is dangerous and "impossible." Those feelings will simply grow, as is the way of these things, as you avoid them more and more. However, what I don't recommend is just jumping in and going at it, full force, and hoping that you'll figure it out! Take it slow, allow yourself to get used to the feelings of being inverted. Breathe slowly and deeply (this indicates to your brain and body that you are safe and able to relax), feel your muscles work, think about where you are in that moment. Allow yourself to marvel at how you are doing something amazing, scary, and beautiful. Work on your exits, too. This can really help the "logical" part of your brain from getting caught up in those emotions, and telling you about all the horrible things that can happen to you. If you're able to do a handstand, try practicing going from a handstand into moves that are more difficult. This way, you'll be able to perform this "backwards" and get out of more difficult moves in a safe and familiar way. Practice transitioning into and out of the move, and focus on that aspect of the work, rather than how you're doing that move. And seriously, breathe. Whether you're thinking about the move, doing the move, practicing parts of the move, or just doing anything related to it... remember to breathe deeply. The positive association does wonders.
Panix · 3/16/2015
Thanks so much everyone for the advice and encouragement! I will try to put it from my mind and think positive things. It is definitely easier said than done, but I will try to make a conscious effort not to think about it, and just work on getting stronger. I do try to be as safe as possible, for moves I'm unsure about I always have someone spot me, or if I'm alone I try things really close to the floor. I love Veena's lessons for that, that they give you different levels of strength, because at the studio they are like, 'here's how you do a cross knee release! now you try!' I am not strong enough to pull myself back up after, so trying it from the floor makes me feel a lot safer. One of the things I love about pole is the progress you can see, like how moves I could barely do at first become really easy... So I hope that continues once I start to invert (definitely not anytime soon though!). After I move I am going to buy a crash mat, and I can't wait!! I never thought I would be this excited to buy exercise equipment :P @phoenix hunter, the first time I did an elbow stand I almost started to cry! I came down from it and was like nope!! That's not happening! I can do it better now and they don't scare me but it still doesn't quite feel comfortable! @runemist, maybe that's part of the problem for me, is I have never really been in a dangerous situation before. I never played sports growing up, I have never broken or sprained anything, or fallen from a great height or anything! So I don't trust that my body would know what to do! I will try to breath more like you said, I think I tense up and forget to breath deeply a lot of the time.
Runemist34 · 3/16/2015
I actually am in the same boat: I never played sports, didn't take any physical risks, didn't roughhouse with anyone. No broken or sprained things. I certainly didn't trust my body from a very early age! I find that "trying to put it out of your head" can be a bit of a problem. I have an anxiety disorder, so the things I'm afraid of are large and come up often in my life. I've been to counselling a lot, and the advice I've gotten has changed over the years. Specifically, I was taught "thought stopping" when I was young, which is basically just trying to tell your thoughts to stop, to end, and to try to "put it out of your head," instead of running around with it and fretting. For me, this didn't work. I ran myself into such a tight circle, worrying about how I couldn't stop my thoughts, and how I couldn't stop thinking about how I couldn't stop my thoughts (and so on) that I could barely function at all. One of my more insightful counsellors actually commented that I had stopped breathing properly, likely as a result of this. She told me not to do it anymore, it's just winding me up. Instead, the more common advice these days is to allow yourself to feel afraid, but not to get caught up in it. YES, you feel afraid- of course you do! Doing something outside of your comfort zone is scary. Sometimes we can run away with this fear, imagine all the bad things that come up out of it, and the fear increases. So, instead, allow the feeling of fear, but practice mindfulness and self-watching, allowing your fear to be part of your experience, but not the ONLY part. Allowing those thoughts of being afraid to happen, but not getting caught by them. They're natural, but you don't have to entertain them as something serious and truthful. But, whatever you decide to do, I hope that it works for you! Dealing with fears is really challenging, and obviously, there are a lot of schools around it that differ, or even contradict. It all has to do with what works for you!
bambi9 · 3/17/2015
Hi, I too am working on my strength. I was much stronger at one point, but I lost my local studio. I will say some things get easier with strength and others are more about trusting your self and your body. If you ever wanna skype and work on things, please feel free to email me, maybe we can help motivate each other :)
denisedh2730 · 3/18/2015
I totally understand. If you can climb with ease and do a pull-up, you are strong enough to invert. I am working on the basic invert slowly, starting from the floor and using a spotter. I found doing laybacks helps that fear, especially when you move one hand to hold under your body on the pole. Another thing to remember is the basic invert requires lots of leg strength and your legs hold your body up all day long.