Plus Sized Dancers

Charley started this discussion · 12/5/2011

Hi guys! I am looking for some feedback from plus size pole daners - when I say plus size I do not mean a size 8 I mean a size14 and above. What I'm looking for is feedback from you about which BASIC level moves were easy for you and which you found difficult. What types of pole moves did you do to condition for pole? What specific moves were impossibly challenging? Which TRANSITIONS were difficult for you if any and how long did it take you to get the hang of the basics? The other thing I am looking for is your stories if you took/take lessons at a pole studio. I am seeing an influx of plus sized dancers which makes me sooooo happy but in an effort to provide the best service I'd like some feedback on what you liked and didn't like about pole classes, challenges being in classes with more advanced students - if this was even an issue for you.

32 replies

JeHanne · 12/5/2011
Hi Charley, I had a period in my life where I went from a healty weight to about a size 18/20. I went to a studio for lessons and it was very intimidated to be the biggest girl in class. Even though I was very overweight, all of the students and the instructors were respectful. The feelings I felt were due to my insecurities, something I was dealing with from the inside. I was my biggest enemy and those floor to ceiling mirrors were a total reminder! I liked the environment and going to classes... there is nothing I disliked about the classes due to my size. The things I disliked were how I perceived my body. It was really difficult to find outfits that would allow skin to grip the pole but not create a total self conscious melt down. I wasn't sporting racer back bras and booty shorts to class... even though I would have liked to. My weight was a limiting factor in all moves where gravity was involved. I felt I was more prone to shoulder injury since the load on my joints was much more so than a healthy weight person. That made me focus on conditioning moves for my shoulders and also made me want to get smaller (lighter) and stronger. Basic moves that were easy... transitional moves that had at least one foot on the ground or many contact points. Spins like forward and backward hooks, attitudes, firemans... those I could do. I would have at least one or two hands on the pole with an additional contact point. To condition for pole I did a lot of flexibility training and upper body and core training that used my entire body weight. Things like planks and push ups. I also worked on pole hangs and made sure I was using correct form. For a while I used an exercise band to do shoulder exercises/range of motion etc. Impossible challenging... split grip moves. Moves that required upper body strength like cradle, hip hold tucks. Transitions that were challenging... anything that had very rapid movements between standing and floor moves and standing again etc. I was slower transitioning so if there was a fireman to floor, leg fans/flirts then flip over to a sexy push up and stand... I was the last one up. As far as how long it took... a little slower than the other students but regardless of that I improved every class in some way. I gained strength and my abilities grew. The biggest consideration was that I lacked the upper body strength needed for many of the moves. I had to improve my strength to progress. That is true for anyone, but the more weight you are pulling up that pole... the harder it is. In my opinion! I am happy to hear you have a variety of students coming in and I hope that you continue to. It is great to see you reaching out to ask for opinions here. I'll be interested to see what others have to say. : )
Forever Young · 12/6/2011
Hi Charley, Like JeHanne, I am also the biggest girl in the class and the oldest. This was very intimidating in the beginning. What I found the hardest was moves that required a split grip, any inverting and having to manipulate your body around the pole. Even the pole sit was very hard for me to do in the begining. It just seemed that the extra skin/fat prevented me from crossing my legs as tightly as the other girls. However, I have never had a problem with going to classes and being made to feel "less than" by the instructor or the other girls in the class. I love the fact that although it might take me longer to get the moves/spins, once I can do them I feel really proud. As for pole dancing outfits: I wear skorts (skirts with shorts attached underneath) and a tank top. If i need to do moves that require my upper body to grip, I just pull my shirt up a bit. I am slowly getting a little more confident and will progress to crop tops sometime.... not just yet thought. I am finding that I need a lot more strenght training than the other girls. this could be due to my weight and my age. I guess it just takes us a little longer and we need to practice a lot more, but practice makes perfect right? I don't mind the fact that there are more advanced girls in my class, in fact, it inspires me to want to do all the things that they can do! However, for the first month or so I would recommend getting the heavier girls in classes with beginners as we bunch are a lot more self-conscious and self-critical than the normal girls. If you give them some time to adjust to what they are doing they would be more willing to come back and keep trying. This is just an opinion from my personal perspective and I hope it was helpful!
minicoopergrl · 12/6/2011
What scared me the most at first was getting off the ground, any basic spins (fireman, love it or hate it aka the face plant spin) I was scared. I had the feeling that the pole was going to come off. Being that size you take alot of factors into consideration. Its almost borderline being self concious. Over time between working on my grip and building confidence within myself (personal and poling), I got over the fears and now I have no problem spinning. But it does take time. Climbing wasnt so bad, once I got the basics. I didnt get to the top the first time but after a few attempts I was hanging out up there with everyone else. I am still working on my invert, I think I may have found my issue and im currently working on it. As for transititons, I never really had a problem with that. I guess all those years of dance, cheer and gymnastics seemed to help. But really breaking down the the moves seems to help alot of the curvy gals in my class. I love seeing curvy girls in the advanced classes!! You might run into alot of women who are unsure about themseleves and poling, do your best at building their self esteem. Sometimes just that boost will make me want to give it one more try. I know I do alot of off pole stuff to help. Push ups have been my best friend through all of it. That has really helped with climbing and all my upper body strength. I never felt really insecure when I first starting taking class. No one gave me a hard time for being curvy. Heck, I get alot of love b/c of my size! Leave it all at the door and have fun is what I always tell people.
Charley · 12/6/2011
Thank you guys sooo much for your feedback! I teach many class formats and one of the classes I teach is a beginner through advanced level pole tricks class. In the pole tricks class you have people working on a fireman and people working on a hadspring and everything in between. Sounds to me like most people - plus size or not, don't really mind mulit level classes so long as they are being taught well. With the influx of plus sized girls I want to make sure they are feeling welcome. I had a student recently who I LOVED, plus size girl, struggling with everything...about 10 minutes in I realized much of it was her confidence, she actually asked if the pole would hold her!!!! She was with 2 friends who were getting everything and doing really well...this girl just stood there, I worked with her a lot one on one that class and she was able to get a grounded back hook and a grounded side spin. I told her "See, don't come in to my class and say you can't! I will prove you wrong! You're doing awesome!" She did better than anyone in class because she had to overcome her fears and insecurities to participate...just breaks my heart when I see someone so self concious because she doesn't need to be, she moved better than her 2 friends, her two friends were just able to do some tricks she wasn't...it's sometimes hard to get people to acknowledge that movement is just as difficult and should be as celebrated as tricks. Is it okay for me as the instructor to addess her weight and talk to her about it? Can I tell her that I know of many, many talented plus size girls that are rocking the pole world and she her videos? Is it ok for me to discuss limitations and challenges that she will face but tell her the advantages she has? Is it ok for me to push her in a dance direction the way I would ANYONE else until she builds strength? The plus sized dancers I've taught have pretty much been very open personalitles who approached me and we figured out a plan for them. I have had some plus size dancers quit but I think it's because they were in TRICK classes and not dance classes. I have a ton of plus size dancers in my dance classes and they love every second of it, in fact many of them are using the dancey classes to get strong enough to come to tricks. Sorry - a lot of questions. Just sometimes when I am working with plus sized girls that maybe the sheer fact I'm so little and standing in a bikini might be making them feel more self concious. Weight is a very personal topic for women and I try not to ever talk about but I think sometimes if avoid the fact that I am not giving the best customer service to my clients. On the other hand I don't want someone to feel offended because I took them aside to talk to them about it, or offer special modifications for it. Plus, how do I as an instructor make someone feel ok with their body when you can tell they are very self concious? It's mostly the 25 and under girls that seem to the most self concious. The women 30 and over tend to be really open for discussion and want to try much harder. At one of the studios I work at *the class this thread is about* they don't even have a plus size instructor - everyone is tiny and rock hard bodies so that's kind of off putting too. There isn't a variety of shapes and sizes. Another studio I work at does have all shapes and levels of instructors which I think is more empowering because there is a plus sized instructor who is at an advanced level and not only is she a great instructor but she's a great dancer and motivator and asperational to dancers. I tell all of my plus sized girls that they should take a class with her because she really knows and understands their body type and between the two of us we've formed a great team. Sorry this is sooo long. I just really love women and I hate when I see someone is feeling bad about themselves and not acknowledging all the things they CAN do and all the amazing things about them. Your feedback is so so so helpful! Thank you guys so much!
Forever Young · 12/6/2011
I completely agree with you on 2 aspects. 1. Having an instructor who's body shape and size is similar to your own is very comforting to us heavier ladies. It is great to see that although they are heavier they can do awesome tricks - it gives us hope and inspiration. 2. I definately prefer classes that are more diverse. For example, if the class features spins, transitions, dance and tricks. That way at least I can do some of the moves and don't totally suck at everything. If I can't get all the tricks at least I can try them and I can feel better about myself as I can do the spins and transitions! Lastly, I think I would have been taken aback if my instructor had pulled me aside to "chat" about my weight and how to overcome the challenges I face! If my instructor can see that I am battling with a move that the skinnier girls are rocking, she just gives me a little bit more attention and instruction and makes a big deal when I get it (even if I am not doing it perfectly). She knows I am battling because of my body type but she does not have to rub salt in the wound. We heavy girls know we have limitations, all we need is a little more encouragement, not judgement. I am loving pole classes and each week I get better and better. My weight is not going to hold me back and I am sure that is true for all the girls reading this thread. Don't call us out on our weight: just know that we know, that you know we will battle with some moves (if that makes sense)! I am pleased that you are really trying to understand our wants and needs. Hats off to you!
chemgoddess1 · 12/6/2011
Knowing Charley I think you may have taken what she said about pulling someone off to the side in the wrong way. It was not as a calling out that you are bigger type of thing but rather being sensitive to someone and not talking about it in front of other students. I have pulled up videos of quite a few ladies after class and showed my students that you do not have to be a size 2 to rock the pole.
Finreah · 12/6/2011
As long as you are sensitive to your student and are encouraging and I don't see that being a problem :)Make sure you tell her that her dancing is beautiful and sure it will take longer to get certain moves,but there is no reason why she can't.My instuctors ( all itty bitty) are wonderful and they did this same thing with me and it helped loads.Shoot I have confidence enough now to dance in front of my husband and a crowd of people in Jamaica.:) make sure to that you tell her you would do this with anyone you saw struggling.
nilla · 12/6/2011
I'm sure Charley would approach it in a sensitive way. I think it could be innapropriate for an instructor to be the one to bring up weight, but totally appropriate to bring up self confidence or strength issues that stem from that. If a plus-size student already thinks (fears) that her weight will keep her from succeeding at pole, saying "hey I noticed you're struggling because of your weight" might just reinforce that, but saying "hey you seemed a little self concious, but your moves looked beautiful once you let go of that" would convey that the real hinderance to her progress was her self conciousness. I think there's a fine line between doing that and tip-toeing around the issue. You don't want to do that, but I don't think it's always necessary to bring up weight if you can address the issues that may or may not be stemming from that.
Charley · 12/6/2011
Oh goodness I did not articulate myself at all!!! I meant that when a student is making comments like you can't spot me because I will squash you or I am too fat to do this and this or I will pull the pole down - is it then appropriate to later discuss this not like "I see you are struggling with pole because of your weight." But something more along the lines of "I understand from your comments made that you have concerns about your abilities and your weight, I'd like to talk to you about this..." That kind of a thing. Sorry I did not explain myself well in all those words.
Finreah · 12/6/2011
That sounds like a good approach.I said very similar things myself and had my instructor use that approach.As you know women can be very sensitive, but since your asking and are concerned about her ,I think you'll handle it well. Also ask Rena if it's okay, and if it is, show her some of her pics.She is an inspiration to me and I know she is for lots of other ladies too.
Finreah · 12/6/2011
I meant to say Renascence before and afters.She is amazing.
Finreah · 12/6/2011
Renas autocorrect fail.
JeHanne · 12/6/2011
Charley, I love your compassion and all the heart and soul you have. I can really tell how much you genuinely care for your students and their success. That really brings joy to my heart. I would suggest that you do ask your student for a few minutes to talk in private and ask them if they have any specific concerns or considerations about their class experience. If a student brings up their weight then I would by all means share the knowledge you have about the topic. Definitely someone with all that negative self talk would need some gentle reassurance! If a student did not bring up their weight at all then I would frame it in a different way and tell them something like "If you would allow me to share them with you, I have some exercises I can suggest that will help build your upper body strength (or whatever you notice the student may need some help in)". Or something along those lines. This keeps the student in control, you are asking their permission to receive the information. I think it is a wonderful idea for you to want to approach your plus size students and enable them with some techniques to grow their pole experience.
Layla Duvay · 12/6/2011
Wow, everyone's given you such great feedback! It IS harder for us rubenesque ladies. I'm the only one in my class who isn't an ectomorph and sometimes it just wears me down when I see them snap up moves that I cannot seem to pull off (getting hips overhead is always an issue)! Thank you Charley for this thread. Knowing how much you care makes me want to try harder even though you're not instructing me! I have to say my instructors are all very cool and sensitive and helpful, but they are built like greyhounds, so they can't know what to do with a mastiff body sometimes (I am not putting myself down here, btw, mastiffs are beautiful dogs)! I know at jams and showcases, Valerie Schrader's tip have been very helpful to me. She'd probably have some great instructional how-to's for you! I love you even more now ❤️❤️❤️
nilla · 12/6/2011
Lol, in that case Charley, she brought it up, totally appropriate to then duscuss it :D
Serendipityma · 12/7/2011
I think my biggest barrier in class was in learning the more advanced moves... I always felt guilty for being a bigger girl (size 16), and having the instructor have to push my extra weight up the pole when learning an invert or a climb... Beyond that, I never really noticed if I was the biggest girl in my class... but some of my classmates did tell me later on when I was the first one to brave the pole shorts and a tank top on the very first day of class (and do so with confidence, might I add!), that I inspired them to open up and "strip down" (to pole shorts) as well... As for accomplishing certain tricks, I don't feel that spins are really that affected by a girls weight... in class there were several spins that most everyone else got that I just could not get (at S it was the ballerina... I think at Veena it's called the front hook), but then there were other tricks that completely clicked... and had little or nothing to do with weight or size... everyone's body moves differently, and anybody, plus sized, or micro sized, has to figure out in which plane or frame of mind their body WANTS to move... I can now do the ballerina, but it will never be **MY** move and will always feel awkward and unnatural because that's not how my body wants to spin... Transitions: not even a problem! More so than the skinny girls in my class, I actually excelled at floorwork and transitions... but I have a strong dance background, so I may have to be ejected from this topic... :P Conditioning: S Factor has a phenomenal warmup with each class, and I really found that sufficed... I progressed at just about the same rate as the rest of my class with minimal modifications (though, the plank just is not my friend and my butt just refuses to lift off the mat! :P) I will agree that split grip moves are more difficult, but as a pole-lefty, and with nerve damage to my left arm, I can't tell if it's more difficult because of that silly ulnar nerve of mine, or from the weight... And, might I add... I have a VERY loose right shoulder (I roll over in bed and it dislocates), and even when I was initially learning as a pole-righty, I never felt that I might pop it out or do any damage because of my weight... the body knows how and when to compensate... :) I hope this helps... :)
mcuellar2413 · 12/7/2011
In my opinion it is better not to mention the weight issue, because trust me us plus size women already know it is a bit of a limitation or challenge. I am between a size 12 & 14 and when I started I had absolutely no upper body strength but after two months it is getting better. My teacher is always saying we need to slim you down because it is slowing you down. Or you should come to Zumba so we can get some of that weight off, as you lose weight it will get easier. Or my favorite was a wrist sit was hard for me because of my short arms and big thighs. Anyway as you can see I have a mental tape running of all these comments that were not meant in a mean way and it is pretty much making me want to quit. I have a pole at home and I can do a variety of spins, pole sit, crucifix, climb a little, and almost invert but I know if I just work on it at home I won't achieve as much. Anyway I just think it is safer to let your students vent their insecurites and frustrations but just be reassuring don't bring up weight.
chemgoddess1 · 12/7/2011
mcuellar, OMG, seriously your teacher says these things? How are these not meant in a mean way? Unless you are in a bootcamp type class where the instructors are supposed to be a pain in the butt I would seriously talk to this instructor or the owner.
poledanceromance · 12/7/2011
I'm not plus size, but in teaching I learned that it helps to show all modifications for a move to the whole class that might make it easier for my plus size students so they didn't feel like I was putting a limitation on them. For instance I figured out that plus size women almost always had an easier time with learning to pole sit and grip with the legs when I showed both a crossed at the knee and crossed at the ankle ways to sit on the pole. What surprised me was that it wasn't just the plus sized women who had it easier this way. For some of my girls of all sizes they've always been more comfortable doing a pole sit with the feet crossed at the ankle. And it looks nice, so I really don't care about making them try to cross at the knee. Similarly, I always showed grounded spins, using the least amount of momentum possible to start. Not only did that help my plus sized students, but it was also less intimidating to those who were just really scared to "let go." Those who weren't as scared tended to just go for the spin all on their own if they felt ready. They key for me was just making sure that I wasn't offering variations in a way that implied I was teaching a different class for the plus sized students. Often times I'd have a plus sized student get a spin on the first try and it would be a more "athletic" student who would have a harder time with it.
mcuellar2413 · 12/7/2011
Unfortunately she is the owner so I can't really complain. She always says it in a concerned way but it is still embarassing especially when it is in front of other people. I don't know maybe I am just being too sensitive but it sure has lowered my morale! I think I will be taking my business somewhere else at the end of the month.
chemgoddess1 · 12/7/2011
Read this: http://aerialamy.com/blog/2011/11/28/gaslighting/ Maybe leave her a copy.
Dancing Paws · 12/7/2011
Mcuellar - OMG, your teacher needs to learn to filter her mouth! What a loon! I don't care what her status is, that is highly inappropriate.
JeHanne · 12/7/2011
Those comments of that teacher/owner are completely inappropriate!!! In front of other students too?!? If it feels right to you to leave the studio... do so. : (
Charley · 12/7/2011
I will read everyone's repsonses in a sec BUT Mcuellar - WHAT?!?!?! Are you serious?!?! OMG! that is soooo beyond rude! I started this thread because some of my plus sized students were making comments about themselves that made ME uncomfortable and I didn't like that they were feeling that way and wanted advice on teaching better and making those girls FEEL as beautiful as they ARE! That makes me beyond angry!!!!!!!!!!! I am so sorry you are having to hear things and feel things that make you want to give up but PLEASE DON'T. Is there any place else you can go? Keep at your moves, it takes time - some things come easier than others but you CAN do it. I want to just give you a really big hug right now and I hope you walk away from this thread feeling the love and support you should be getting from your instructor!!!!!!!
mcuellar2413 · 12/7/2011
@Charley thanks you are very sweet ! I know my situation is a little different so I don't want you to think that I was implying you were being insensitive, just offering a warning about a dangerous subject! LOL There is another studio that I have taken classes at and they always promote that their poles have no weight limit and they are for all sizes, it wasn't a consideration for me at first because I only weigh like 160(I am short), but now I am realizing they are much more sensitive. I will be making the switch to the new studio after the holidays.

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