Online Dating

Assi Mimi started this discussion · 8/8/2011

Hey Veeners! So I recently went through a break up followed by post-break-up business trying to find someone else, which I often find pretty annoying and long. Never used dating websites because always looked at this as maybe too artificial. I beleive people should meet in a more natural environment, but then again going to a bar to meet someone isn't too natural either. My roomate joined Plenty of Fish recently and has been praising the website. She claims it is much better than "real life dating" since you have much more choice. Have to add that my mom also met her current boyfriend through a dating website and has been trying to get me to open a profile as well. I was wondering does anyone else has experience with this? I am 23 turning 24. it seems like at this age I should be meeting people in the "real world" or am I just too old fashioned?

10 replies

Cocoa0 · 8/8/2011
I think you have to take the whole online dating thing with a grain of salt. If you go to a bar (as an example) there will probably be 1 or 2 guys out of 200 that you are actually attracted to. I would not sign up for a dating site expecting better odds (its probably going to be worse). But that being said your online "bar" really has no limits. You can go through tens of thousands of profiles (after the bar) if you want. So I would say put a profile up, you never know. But I wouldn't expect better results than real life encounters.
HazelHotpants · 8/8/2011
Even though i wouldn't like to admit it... i consider myself an online dating expert. 😕 I have been on too many dates to count and have had some relationships from them. Longest being 9 months. There are definitely pro's and con's to internet dating. A pro being you get to find a lot more info on someone than you wouldn't in a bar, get to pick who you think is good looking or not. But the big con being are they telling the truth. Once I'd done the initial getting to know someone on the internet site, I would then use something like msn or skype (video skype is brilliant cos you can see what they really look like) to get to know someone a bit more. Then after I was 100% sure they were who they said they were and I liked them I would exchange numbers, have a few calls and see from there. The main thing is to be safe if you did decide to go on a date, go to a place you know. Tell someone you are going on that date. I even got the guys registration plate from his car to tell someone. (That could be a little over the top but you can never be too safe.) You will still end up going on bad dates... there is no denying that. But I found internet dating fun, and i had a lot more confidence than I would in a bar environment with approaching men. My mum met my sep dad on the internet and they have been together over 10 years. If im honest my boyfriend now was not off the internet. But I still tell people to give it a go.... just be safe! :) Btw... i am 25... i had been internet dating on and off from 18 - 23. (hhmmm... maybe i shouldn't admit to that as well 😕) Good Luck!! :)
BACE16 · 8/8/2011
Meet someone doing something you like. It doesn't sound like your thrilled to try an online dating site, so you might not be thrilled with a guy from one. I tried a free online dating site once. Out of 100 messages, I'd get one guy that read my profile and actually wanted to talk. The rest were phone numbers and photos or descriptions of his favorite thing. I took down my picture and almost noone messaged me. I never met anyone from that site in person. I met my fiancé while playing World of Warcraft. I talked to him for a whole year online without knowing what he looked like before I met him face to face. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and I'm not suggesting using WoW as a dating site lol. I'm just saying I dated through the internet and I had the best time finding when I wasn't looking and while doing something I already liked to do.
hachiko · 8/8/2011
I think you should give it a try :) you never know!! It doesn't matter how old you are, you can put up a profile and still go out to meet people therefore you are doing a little bit of the two. I met my husband on caramail (not really an online dating website though, but an online chat) when i was 16!!! At 18 i moved to Montreal for him and i am now 23 and married to him. Maybe it is less natural but oh god am i happy i did it cause he is the only one i want to be with!! Hope this helps!
glitterhips · 8/8/2011
Ohhh online dating...so i was in the same boat as you and just out of a relationship and feeling lonely etc...my aunt met her husband on POF so I secretly signed up for it and didnt tell anyone because I was worried about all the stigmas/meeting someone crazy/etc. My boyfriend sent me a message on there after being on the site for only a few days, we ended up talking and that was two years ago and we are still together, he is the most perfect match for me I have had compared to any other guys I've dated. POF is free so you should just sign up since you have nothing to lose, I do agree there can be some weirdos out there but you have just as good of a chance of meeting a weirdo in a bar that you do online. It's almost easier to filter people online because you can see their photos and profile and that puts out more information about them right off the bat than you would most likely get from them at a loud bar. But you should try it out, even if you end up going on some dates that flop at least it gets you out of the house for a night :)
1smoothroller · 8/8/2011
I am in the same boat. I signed up for Match.com and deleted my profile after 3 days. I know online dating is very normal these days, but I just feel like a fish out of water in the online dating world. However, I don't have much luck using conventional methods either. Primarily because I am not really a social butterfly. I don't go out much and I am pretty introverted.. horrible combo, but after reading the post I would like to give POF a try.
Katherine McKinney · 8/8/2011
I recommend OkCupid. I was an early adopter on the site--from 2004 until now. I think the key is not to see it as captial 'D' Dating but to look at it as a chance to network and perhaps meet someone you like. Over the years, I've met guys and girls from the site--made some good friends that I still chat with to this day. I also met my current guy on the site, and he's the bees knees, to say the least. I've had roommates that I met on the site, and the longest I dated someone I met on the site was about a year. Have I met duds? Absolutely! But have I also met duds at the bars and when I was in school, in my classes? And at work? Absolutely! Bottom line--the stigma from online dating is pretty much gone from where I'm setting. As long as you keep your expectations casual, you can have a lot of fun and meet new friends and (possibly) a significant other.
Assi Mimi · 8/8/2011
Thank you for sharing your experiences!! Never guessed it was this common. I guess maybe I was alittle old fashioned😕...Just opened my profile on Plenty of Fish. Going to explore the Online Dating world🥂
Prncsopowr · 8/10/2011
I have done online dating off and on for the last 7 years or so, mostly on Jdate (makes sense as I am jewish). When you are first starting out on it, I definitely recommend using a free site. My current boyfriend is from Jdate and we have been together 5.5 months. My brother, best friend, and my cousin met their wives/husband on Jdate and one of my closest friend met her husband on Match (they have been married for 5 years). So I definitely know lots of success stories. That being said, you need to have a tough skin. I have seen guys not show for dates, them looking nothing like their profile pictures, having great personalities through email and then nothing in person, and many other things. You are going to go on a lot of bad dates and okay dates before you find the right person. I can even recall once where I would love that hour back of my life. But, would I do it all again to find my current guy? Absolutely and in a heartbeat!! I have one friend that met her husband through Jdate that used to keep a blog of all of her internet dating experiences. It was downright hilarious and a great way to keep a positive viewpoint on the whole experience. Some words of advice. Set up an email address to use that doesn't have your full last name if you start using personal email as a method of communication. Also, drive yourself to the first couple dates. Lastly, make sure you have at least one friend that knows you are on a date and can make a call 45 minutes to an hour into the date to make sure you are good. This way there can be an "emergency" if needed. I have only had to do this once, but almost everyone I know has needed it at least once. Good luck and have fun!! It really can be a lot of fun and you never know who you are going to meet.
KrissyK79 · 8/11/2011
I consider myself an online dating expert as well!! I joined several different ones (paid and free) on and off for about 6 years. I'd go thru periods of being fine by myself, then want to get back out there. I had alot of bad dates. There is no getting around that. I had alot of creepy messages. I have however been in a year and half relationship with a man I met on Match.com. My greatest peice of advice regarding online dating...you get what you pay for...if you join a free site like Plenty of Fish, or OKCupid, you have to weed thru alot of creepy messages just asking you for sex. But if you pay for a site like Eharmony, Match or Yahoo Personals, there is a level of committment to it, because you are paying $20-30 a month for it. I had the most success on the pay sites. Good luck to you!!!