NYC big girl wants to pole (and say Hi)

Hey wonderful people, My name is Miss. Chief, and I'm from NYC. My x-pole is on it's way to my house, and already I'm trying to figure out where to place it. It's a smallish apt, and I have 2 kids, 2 cats, and a husband. I'll figure it out. Classes have proven to be difficult for me. I''ve taken three, and feel so terribly awkward. I'm stiff, and fat, and much older than the other 4 girls in class. It's a fight to stay focused and not leave the room in tears. I know for sure theres a sexy minx looking for release, but I find it difficult to do so around twenty somethings. I also have arthritis in my right hip, so some of the movements are a challenge. I once told a good friend who is a dancer that I'm clumsy and chunky, and she looks at me and says, "In the dancing world, we call that dynamic". I suppose I've gotta find my style, my pole voice so to speak. I hope to find community here. I also hope to continue shedding some poundage, and gain some strength. ...of course, find that sexy sexy too!!! Nice meeting you all.