Not feeling it anymore.... :-(

HazelHotpants started this discussion · 1/23/2011

*warning* this could be a long one. Basically I am in a really bad pole rut! I have't learnt anything new in about 6 months. The odd little move hear and there but nothing that gives you that sense of achievement like in the early stages of learning to pole. I know it is a strength issue, but it makes me so de-motivated that I just cannot do something. It makes me not want to try as I have had so many bad pole sessions it puts me off tryingt. Kind of a catch 22 because I need to do more pole practises to get better but I dont want to do more because they make me feel 'sucky'. I think I am at the stage of shouldermounts, handsprings, ayshas, etc. My caterpiller climb is hit and miss, and I dont like over practising this as it hurts my shoulder. I can't do the extending butterfly and this is really iriitating me. So really... I don't know what else to practise. :-( My room isn't really big enough to truley push myself for handsprings and shoulder mounting just scares me... and I am not stong enough. Now... not only am I havin sucky pole practises and feel so demotivated... I have recently started teaching beginners?!?!?! Crazy!!! I definitely feel I have bitten off more than I can chew. My first class was great as I only had one girl.. but the past few classes have been full and I have been so nervous and I could tell the students weren't enjoying themselves. And I really dont want that. So... I really don't know what to do.Stop teaching and focus on my own progression (even tho I am getting no where)... or focus more on teaching and gaining confidence even tho I know I wont gain strength from doin this. I know everyone has pole ruts, but it is getting to the stage of me packing everything in all together. :( I just remember when I first started and that feeling of getting a move and being so happy... now I dread having a pole practise because I know i will feel crap after it. Thanks for listening to me whinge... I don't usually like to moan out loud, but it is really getting me down.

13 replies

debbierockz · 1/23/2011
I feel ur pain..iv been poleing it for 6months and trying 2 master my faverite moves and its making me so mad that i feel like why even bother but i know 2 keep at it because everbody has started out the same way..trying to do this right and that right etc etc but if u just keep pushing urself you will build ur strencth and stamnia i know i have.But just to let u know im thr with u stuck n a pole rut (grrrrrrr) keep pushing thru it u will get better.u run the pole it doesnt run u.
Picklepie · 1/23/2011
Hazeldej and Debbierockz, I have been dancing for about 4 years now, and I cannot stress enough that pole dancing is not for the faint of heart. In those four years I have been beat up, bruised, braced and have felt that plateau creep up on me. At the end of the day, be proud of what you HAVE accomplished because not every person on the street would ever attempt what you can do. When I feel frustrated with the really hard stuff here is what I do - I crank up a playlist of my favorite songs and I dance with my eyes closed (not recommended if you plan on inverting ;) ). Do everything that you do beautifully and think about when you couldn't do that! Dance because you love it and because it makes you feel good. It is not about how hard your tricks are, it is about making the tricks you do know look effortless. end rant. Happy Poling, don't give up! one day you'll be handspringing like it's nobody's business! :) :)
chemgoddess1 · 1/23/2011
I have been at this for 3 years and have been where you are. I also have the added issue of age...I just turned 42 and there are things that I know I will never get either out of fear or lack of flexibility. I do know though that I never would have thought I could do the things that I can do.....EVER. Revel in the things that you can do and don't be satisfied with just being able to do tricks. There are so many transitions that I cannot do that look easy but aren't at all. What separates us is the ability to fill the space between tricks or even having the ability to string tricks together. There are so many things to learn....don't think that just because you cannot do one or two tricks that you really want to do there is nothing left to do.
3amethyst · 1/23/2011
Hi, I want to fall in line behind Chemgoddess here... I will be 39 in less than a month and have similar flexibility/fear issues...I agree with pretty much everything she and everyone else has said...be proud of what you have accomplished! I mean if you can do a simple " Sexy Walk" Your good in my book because to me that is NOT... SO... SIMPLE ! to make it sexy, smooth and flowing. So keep your head up!...I mean feet up! I mean ...well just keep on spinnin'! :)
Sassafrassle · 1/23/2011
Just going to throw in my 2 cents worth here too:) I've been poling for going on 4 years now and I've been through so many ruts that I'm surprised my suspension ain't broke (sorry, lame joke). I also watch people in my studios who have been poling for much less time get tricks I can only dream of and that twists the knife deeper. And if you're anything like me, you religiously watch internet clips of all those truly amazing dancers out there and get a completely false idea of the minimum level you need to be to be a good dancer. Because you know what? Just starting poling and take it beyond those first few lessons already separates you from the crowd. Your first invert is an amazing thing. Putting combos together is fantastic. Just spinning round that pole, experiencing the joy of doing something you love is the feeling that keeps us coming back for more. And touchy feely stuff aside, are you doing much strength training stuff aside from your poling sessions? Either with the pole or off it? I know personally I'm trying to do a little bit of pole strength training every time I have a session at the moment so I can at least know something I'm doing in a session is worthwhile even if I have a complete fail on the moves I'm working on. And I think that continuing with the beginner lessons can only make you stronger too. And let the enthusiasm of the newbies and the reminder of just how far you've come since you first started buoy you up! I suspect if the newbies aren't enjoying themselves, it may be your self doubt coming through. So relax, enjoy yourself, l augh a little, share stories about how you went when you were first learning a move - I've found these good hings to create a fun learning atmosphere. And maybe you could team teach with someone? Get some ideas from others about how they make the learning fun. Sorry if this sounded more like an essay than a helpful comment! I just know how you feel and how frustrating it can be so I hope things get better for you soon:)
miss fern · 1/23/2011
Teaching is REALLY good for your own progression. You might feel like you don't have any time left to practice new moves, BUT the good news is that teaching forces you to execute every move as perfectly as you can. And it forces you to hold the pose in the a middle of a move, and talk while you're at it. It will really really help solidy your foundations, and build your muscles! Just give it time and I think you will get out of the rut. As for feeling nervous - and the students not enjoying themselves - time will also help here. You will become confident in your teaching abilities the more you teach. Your students WILL pick up on your attitude, so if you are feeling nervous - try to pretend you are not. Do you play music ion your classes? I think this can really help alleviate some of the awkwardness that you, and students, often feel in the first few lessons.
daney · 1/23/2011
Please keep teaching Beginner Pole. You not only will gain confidence, but a new love for the Pole as seen through the progression of new students mastering their tricks from the skills that you have that you are bringing to the room. As for not getting stronger, I have to disagree. Blasting through classes over and over again, move after move, hold after hold, strengthens you more than I can say, and with that , provides strong, tone muscles for you to use to progress in your own poling. The best of both worlds. I know this because I am a Pole Dance Instructor with Aradia Fitness in Ontario and I am 54 years old. Love my Advanced moves and am challenged every day, and teaching my new pole bunnies is a thrill every time I am in the Studio. Hope this helps, Keep Poling MJ
polergirl · 1/24/2011
Other dancers have mentioned this, but it bears repeating--teaching will be GREAT for your own progression (and pole sanity). If you start to get nervous, take a little time to breathe and think about the fact that there's a reason you were asked to teach this class. Every instructor has a different gift that he/she brings to the class, and those gifts are SO valuable!! FYI, I'm going to be 40 (gasp!) in March and am doing things I never, ever thought I'd be able to do. Pole has given me a body that's better than what I had 10 - 15 years ago and I carry myself differently too.
amy · 1/24/2011
i'm going to offer a slightly different opinion than the others here have... when i first started teaching, it was because that has been my goal for myself since i started pole dancing. i never intended to be the best or the top 10 or the top anything. i always knew that i wanted to convey this movement and strength to others and so teaching was the end game for me. that being said, once i started teaching, and realized that i had almost no time outside of teaching to work on my own pole work, it was a little overwhelming to realize that to be a good teacher, to inspire others, you must be inspired yourself and you must always continue to learn and push your own knowledge further. i think that to teach, you need experience on the pole, a positive attitude, a desire to really help others, and you need passion. if you have that, confidence will come over time as you realize that you ARE equipped to handle questions and problems that may arise. i think studnetns will respond well to enthusiasm even if you are a little nervous. why are you teaching? were you asked to do it or did you really want to do it and did you really feel like this was the next step for you? in terms of your own pole: you aboslutely must set aside time for yourself. whether it is pole, or something that helps you cross train for pole (yoga, pilates, TRX, cardio, silks, etc), you need it. you are getting to a point where the amount of training you are doing is not enough to push you past your strength plateau, and you need to change what you are doing if you want to be able to do more! depending on what you do for warmup with your students, how often you teach, you may or may not be getting stronger by teaching-- honestly, teaching absolute beginners does nothing to work me out at all, even though i always do core and upper body conditioning with them.
vickiezoo · 1/24/2011
Hey Hazeldej I am feeling like that at the moment too. I am teaching beginner/ intermediate stuff which is great but I don't now of any classes near me where I can be taught new stuff. i I have learn't some cool new stuff in the last few months, that I have taught myself, but I really want to do Aysha and Brass Monkey and moving on with them, but I find it hard to do on my own. I would really appreciate an actual teacher there to help me. Veena's lessons are great but no substitute for an actual instructor in the flesh. Just feeling a bit down about it, I took lessons for a year then I began learning moves myself that my instructor couldn't do, so for the last two years have taught myself, because I can't find anyone in my arae to taech me, I don't drive so I can't travel far... I know your pain hunni xx
lilblondie · 1/25/2011
hi hazeldej (as well as vickiezoo and amy) I've also been poling for a few years and just started teaching beginners. I thought from teaching my friends, and generally loving every moment on the pole, that I would love teaching and that it was the next logical step for me. Actually, I've actually really been struggling teaching beginners' classes. Sometimes there's only one girl, sometimes they take their frustration out on me, sometimes they just can't seem to "get it" and I feel like I'm failing them! Plus, we never do anything advanced, so in a way, I feel like I'm always struggling with them over the same spins. When I first started teaching a few months ago I got really depressed about poling. Sooo ... you are not alone! I agree ... taking time for yourself is so important. I cut down to teaching one night a week and it has made all the difference. I don't take pole classes but I set aside time to practice and to take other classes that focus on upper body and core, like yoga and handbalancing. I notice how good I feel about my poling is in direct proportion to how much time I set aside just for ME and my body. :)
HazelHotpants · 1/25/2011
I just want to say A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone!!! It has really helped ready EVERYONE'S reply. It is heart warming knowing that there are people out there who are and have felt the same way. And reasurring I will get out of this 'rut'. It has definitely boosted my ego... and I am gonna prepare a kick ass lesson so me and the students can get are pole mojo's going!!! I cannot thank you ladies enough!!! 🥂 xxxxxxxx
Polkadotpoler · 1/27/2011
I have also been poling for four years and know the plateau feeling. Buuut, you can get past it. I find it is helpful to have a goal to work towards. Mine at the moment is a bit silly - I want to do a strip tease/pole/lap dance for my Fiance. I have never, ever done it. Soooooo, I am doing all sorts of workshops and focussing on being relaxed when I freestyle. Anyway, I digress... In your class, your students will feed from you, If you are anxious they will be too. Don't be afraid to tell them you are a bit nervous and have a joke about it. Feed from them, ask for feedback and suggestions. I am always doing it from my students, not because I am unsure but because they normally aren't afraid, given an opportunity to tell me what they like and don't like. Sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't but you may as well try. We have had some really good ideas from student suggestions. Do you have a class structure you have to follow? If you do, are you comfortable following it? Is it open to interpretation? Not everyone teaches the same way or is good at the same thing. Is there anoher instructor who is a sort of mentor for you? Someone you go to for questions? I have a student who I am training to take over from me but her confidence isn't great even though it should be. I am lucky that she allows me to push her out of her comfort zone, would your mentor be able to do that? It doesn't have to be in terms of moves. For example, my instructor to be isn't confident in from of crowds so I asked her to demo at some tradeshows. Guess what, people told her she was awesome and I hope it made a little bit of a difference. I do agree that you need to find time for you to practise. Can you arrive a little earlier for class or stay after. You are at the studio, the poles are up, make the most of it. If students see you practising and trying to get better they will be inspired by that. Just some thoughts and suggestions, I hope it helps.