need an audience??

AvaBabe started this discussion · 6/6/2012

Sooooo, when I pole alone I'm very careful and unconfident. I hires I overt think it too much. But.. The other nightcouple if my friends were over and we out on some music and start "playing" well I ended up pulling out moves I have never (!) Done before! I was feeling it I guess and it felt good! So, back to normal... Nothing. Over thinking it again, I guess. So weird. Where did that confidence and free feeling go...

10 replies

Paunobs · 6/6/2012
I get that too! I call it showing off . 😃😃😃
chemgoddess1 · 6/6/2012
This is why jams are so much fun! I do the same thing when I am out at a bar that has a pole....I can do stuff that I can barely do during practice.
calipolepixie · 6/6/2012
Yep that's me! Adreneline is amazing isn't it? It makes us brave!
Veena · 6/6/2012
Hmmm this discussion has given me an idea!!! I'm on the road (still moving) and will think it over before I decide if it's worth sharing :)
dustbunny · 6/6/2012
^^^ Veena! How can you be such a TEASE!!!
aisha reid · 6/6/2012
So true! I think maybe I'm a show off too or just competitive!!
Saphyre · 6/6/2012
This makes me feel better. I'm headed to a family gathering this weekend and I've been asked to bring my pole since most of the fam has never seen me pole. I am nervous that I will have performance anxiety, but maybe I'll get this adreneline/confidence thing instead!! I hope so!!
Legend · 6/7/2012
ohh you are so lucky! I'm the exact oposite... I can be very calm, confident and controlled ALONE. no audience or mirrors, and pretending the camera is off lol. with other people, even friends, I'm a disaster...! I've failed to show properly even the most basic of tricks to students for being nervous... :( so embaracing... it's getting better, but whenever I feel like I'm being judged I just froze... my hands start sweating, i get dizzy, sick.... its a mess :( I often have to take beta blockers just to get through workshops... (I'm ok in small groups) so... that's why I dont think I'll ever be able to perform in public and forget about competing...so sad... I know its all deeply rooted in a couple bad memories/experiences, but understanding that doesnt make it go away... my only hope is that one day pole will heal that too...after all if 2y ago anyone told that I was going to make videos half naked and shared them I'd probably ask what they have been smoking... or maybe its just how I am, forever damaged.. has anyone been like this and got over it?? if yes, how? ... anyway I really REALLY admire and envy those who can be better with an audience... I imagine it must be a very powerful feeling :) Gz!!
jeansgina · 6/7/2012
Legend, I know exactly how u feel. My dream is to perform one day but deep down I know I'm too shy and scared. I've seen a lot of ur videos and if I could dance even half as good as u I would be happy. I also take beta blockers and am currently using affirmations to help me feel confident, its slowly working but takes time. A good diet can affect how confident u are too, not eating enough or eating junk food makes me feel ugly.
calipolepixie · 6/7/2012
Wanted to add that I can perfrom for strangers and small groups like 4-5 people and have no problems but a room full of people I am terrified. I have been asked 2x to be in our studio showcase and turned it down...i just have always been afraid of large public displays of my skills even when I was younger, i did my best to get out of recitals and public performances. Got over it a little in high school and college but it came back in my 20's. I feel so weird that I've been thinking about this and actually sharing it with you all...But I do I have this fantasy of asking my friend if I can perform at her annual xmas party this year. They had pole/go go girls last year and they were lame, they didn't do any pole tricks just gyrated on the pole and danced around it. I sat there thinking what a jip, they paid for this? I can do so much better. I keep visualizing me in a white outfit with splashes of red and just blowing everyone away at the party with a routine that I put together. I even visualize myself doing two performances at the party.Part of the reason I am thinking about asking her if I can perform is that it will keep me motivated to practice at home (since i will be stopping lessons at the studio next month) because I will have to be ready by Dec to perform at the party and be GOOD. Not only that but this party would be all the people from my previous job! If I can perform in front of all of them, I think my stage fright will definitely be over. But then I come back to reality and think the people from my job may not be worth it and do I really want to do it for those knucklehead? And in my head, it seems very weird to dance for past coworkers, which makes it even scarier...Like I said it is a fantasy...