My god it's been a while

kittyface started this discussion · 4/26/2017

I used to be BabyDragon, then ElephantSoul for a time. Not sure if anyone remembers me, but even if you don't - hi! If I'm honest, I wasn't active for a while (most of 2016) because I was afraid of the possibility of being discovered anywhere - even online - by my abusive ex. Buuuut the divorce was finalized and I feel much better about that as a whole, confident enough now to not really care if she sees me somewhere. I quit stripping in July 2016 and I've only had one pole jam session since, so I'm definitely a bit rusty. I'm going to a class/open pole thing tonight, though! A bit nervous and uncertain about what might have changed with my own body, but also excited. Doing pole on my own terms for once - not for money, not censoring myself to satisfy an abusive and toxic person in my life - will be really nice, I think. I might even get...... sexy with it! *gasp shock* Anyways, how are y'all?

5 replies

Veena · 4/27/2017
Welcome back!
dustbunny · 4/27/2017
Hi and welcome ☺
StrangeFox · 4/29/2017
Hey! I'm new here so I wouldn't know you from before, but welcome back! :) And congrats on ditching that negative ex from your life and taking back your pole! How was your first class? Did you get sexy with it? ;)
kittyface · 5/1/2017
Thanks all! ❤️ StrangeFox - welcome! The class went well. It took a bit for my body to remember what to do, but I retained a surprising amount of skill all in all. I didn't attempt everything, but I was able to do some stuff that I didn't anticipate being able to do again due a few weeks at least, so that was encouraging :) I actually didn't bruise, but I definitely had some pretty intense skin soreness after the class. I think I regrew some nerve endings, lol. As for sexy... I started to, but boy do I have some mental blocks around this! I've absorbed a great deal of shame around expressing my sexuality on my own terms - which is exactly why I need to do sexy pole right now. Because the depths of shame is no place to live, and even if sexy pole is emotionally challenging sometimes, it feels *right* in my body to do it. And that's damn priceless. But yeah it's going to be one hell of a journey to unwind myself from my mental blocks o__o
StrangeFox · 5/1/2017
I'm glad your first class back went well and that you retained most of your strength and skill! I hear ya on finding the sexy piece emotionally challenging and yet still being drawn to it. By the nervous giggles in the few classes I've attended I think there are quite a few women who struggle with this. Kudos to you for taking yourself out of your comfort zone. That takes guts! It's a long, slow climb out of the shame pit, but we'll make it. ;)