Mentally preparing for first night of exotic dancing....advice?

DulceDivine started this discussion · 4/7/2013

I auditioned and got hired at a club earlier this week and was told that to start I can come in and work anytime Sunday-Wednesday. I have spent this week getting prepared to start my new job but I am extremely nervous. Does anyone have any advice about getting over this? I am a pretty confident girl and have no problem flirting I think I am mostly nervous because it is so new to me and I have heard that it is common for the other dancers to be mean/catty towards new girls or unwilling to help them out. Is there usually paperwork you need to fill out your first night? Any advice about your first night dancing would be greatly appreciated :)

24 replies

megan12 · 4/7/2013
I don't know how it is in Arizona but I've worked in a few clubs, mostly in the Midwest. Some clubs have rules that if the dancers fight with each other, you are fired no questions asked. My home club was awesome because it was rare for any of the girls to fight. In fact, most of the more experienced girls would take the less experienced girls under their wing for a bit. That's probably not the norm. My advice on dealing with the other girls is, keep to yourself. You don't want to get mixed up in their bullshit if it is going on. If you observe, you'll quickly learn who to talk to and who to stay away from. Most likely you will need to fill out some waiver on the first night. It's sort of a contract. Most dancers these days are "independent contractors" so you are basically freeing the club from any legal issues. For instance, if you fall off the pole and break your face, they are not liable. Read through that very carefully. But one club I went to didn't have any forms to fill out. I think it's dependent on the club. In terms of dancing, play up the fact that it's your first time. Guys love that. There are usually regulars who love to snap up dances with new girls. The bouncer or room attendant may be able to direct you towards those customers. My other advice is to not be too pushy with the guys. I find that some light conversation makes a man feel special and he will be more inclined to dance with you. It's a gamble because sometimes it's a time waster but more often than not, it draws them in. It also creates regular customers. Good luck!
DulceDivine · 4/7/2013
Thank you so much that was incredibly helpful :) My nerves have been getting the best of me. I am worried too about giving lapdances as I have never done this before. I figure guys aren't really going notice if I mess up too bad but it still makes me nervous.
megan12 · 4/7/2013
Yeah, lapdances were another worry of mine when I started. I don't think I had given one before I started. One thing to check on is the allowed contact level of the club. Some clubs are very strict and do not let the men touch at all. At other clubs, lapdances are a high contact sport. Make sure to switch positions often, because your thighs will get really tired. I'll face front for awhile, then back, then lay over the guy. Most guys aren't too picky about the lapdances as long as they get to see boobs and booty up close and personal, lol
HellOnHeelsNH · 4/7/2013
I'm adding in my 2 cents here, it can be scary to be knew. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, they will factor in no matter where you work. Save all your Money, you can only do this for so long... Have a back up plan like school and have a career plan and a time in which to do while you are dancing YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS FOR SO LONG :) remember you are the boss! This means always ALWAYS get your private dance money before you start your dances, it they want more dances they know to give you money asap lol! This also means if they cross the line Or you feel the need to end the dance you have your money already...you are the boss you are in charge! If you want you can private message me i was a dancer for a long time, i always helped the new girls so if you need an ear! Xoxo
CapFeb · 4/7/2013
Are you going to be working at the Flame? The girls there are super nice, don't worry about it. I recommend getting a girl who is in the industry to give you a lapdance, or going out with friends to a club and getting a few so you know what it's like. I tried learning by myself and teaching myself, and after I got a few from girls and understood what they were doing, my money pretty much trippled. Generally, on your first day/week/month you can spend about 4 songs talking to people and they will buy a dance 99% of the time. As time goes on, you can reduce that to three, then two. Watch out for managers, never go anywhere with a customer, and don't be afraid to be a bitch--some guys are into that sort of thing. Don't stack dances more than $20 at a time. If someone gets a dance, and wants you to keep going for 10 dances, they have to show the money first. It's better to possibly offend someone who might have $200 than work for someone who doesn't even have $10 :) I'm in the north side of the valley, but I've been thinking about working east valley for a while. Let me know how that goes.
PatSmack · 4/8/2013
The hardest part for me was curtain time. the initial few seconds rite before I go on my anxiety would go crazy. I use breathing techniques to keep me level and while I put on my show I made sure not to detach from my performance and be all in my head trying to count steps and moves. Connection is the key and as long as you can connect with a few people where you feel less awkward you will be fine.
HellOnHeelsNH · 4/8/2013
Yea that 10 min before showtime Is so hard! Focus on breathing and remember to smile! Everytime you go on smile even if you are faking it...it makes a huge difference in $
monica kay · 4/8/2013
dulce, if you are friendly and smile, you wont mess up. :) i have found that as far as dance and performance goes, a mess up will often times get you more tips!! men tippers are not there to critisize you
DulceDivine · 4/8/2013
Thank you everyone for your advice :) I am feeling much better about giving it a go. i guess it's a learning experience for any new exotic dancer. Everyone experiences their first night, I'm sure my first night will be uncomfortable and a little awkward but hopefully that will fade over time haha
Former member · 4/8/2013
Congrats on your new job!!!!!! :) Guys are stupid and won't know if you "mess up". Do NOT let it show on your face like, "Oh damn, that toe wasn't pointed now the whole dance is ruined". Don't do that. Go with the flow and find humor that guys are complete idiots and won't notice you doing the same move over and over again. For me it was helpful to remember "do the least amount of work in the most amount of time". That meant slowing things wayyyyyyyy down. Take your time, take your time, take your time. Act like you're the biggest prize in that club and the idiots will believe that you're the biggest prize in that club. You want to be desirable and untouchable; the one dancer that always seems busy and in demand. That could equate to bigger tips because you're the one who they wanted but couldn't have. That makes you more desirable. Think of them as dogs; no really! You know how when you play with a dog and you're waving the bone in their face they go crazy?? If they can't get at the bone that's all they want! So when you're dancing, be the bone; LOL! I'm serious. Men want what they can't have, so treat them like the dogs they are and drive them crazy :) :) Stay confident! You're going to be amazing!
Anonyma · 4/8/2013
ill give you few advises for your first night: 1: bring a lock , theres lockers and you need a lock to put your things in a safe place 2: buy baby whipes, you dont want to have some toilet paper left overs on your coochie and it will show in the black light even a tiny tiny piece, whipe yourself before going on stage! 3: clear deodorant is a must, white underarms arent sexy! 4: smile a lot
Lee lee · 4/8/2013
I have no advice since I don't do exotic dancing but I wanted to wish you luck. I hope you enjoy it!
tacha666 · 4/9/2013
How exciting! I don't really have any advice; I've been to a club only once. I just want to let you know what I liked and didn't. Well, there was one girl where you could see that she really enjoyed what she was doing. She was smiling a lot, had really powerfull movements and kept eye contact, and that made her much more attractive than other girls who seemed kinda bored allthough they were a lot prettier. What I really found annoying was that the girls really were after the money and were trying to sell private dances or asked to be invited for a drink in the second sentence (which each would have been 30 Euro). Well, and of course I wish you luck!
Desiree Lust · 4/9/2013
yes go up there and just have fun! a girl on stage that, when you can see in her face she is simply having a good time, smiling-it's much more fun to watch than a girl who just watches herself in the mirror. go where the money is-when you get up on stage, scan the stage. some guys will sit with a stack of money next to them-thats who you want to go to when you are on stage. others are just there for a free show. and yes, stay away from the girls. you should be friendly/civil by all means, but one thing i've learned: never trust a stripper. you're there to make money, not friends. Hope all went well last night :)
polergirl · 4/9/2013
Absolutely positively check out stripperweb.com INVALUABLE information whether you're a dancer or are just like me and have a serious and possibly borderline unhealthy obsession with exotic dancing lol Most of all, have fun and be yourself, they hired you for a reason!!! :)
JeHanne · 4/9/2013
This link has some stuff that is helpful on some essentials, you will get your own bag of supplies together. (I've never seen a lap sheet or wrap in the club.) http://www.tipmenmyclothesfalloff.com/p/what-every-exotic-dancer-stripper-needs.html Take extra change of clothes, especially thongs and extra pair of shoes (even if you leave in your car). Shoes can break and you don't want to be without a pair, you would get sent home most likely. Confidence and interaction is a must. Don't look disengaged or bored. You are better off freshening up backstage then sitting around and not working the floor. and a biggie... tip out your DJ and Bouncers well. You want them in your corner. Have fun!
Serzi · 4/9/2013
Trick for faking eye-contact (if you feel uncomfortable), look at them between the brows. Imagine they all have little red dots on their foreheads and they'll seldom know the difference. A dancer I knew called it "the sniper dot". She joked that if a guy pissed her off she just imagined him being shot and he was "dead" to her the rest of the night. Inside joke that helped her smile more when she had a lousy night.
Anonyma · 4/10/2013
oh and i forgot, bring something like a piece of fabric to sit on , because you never know what was on those chairs before ewww :P
Hannadust74058221 · 9/25/2019
I'm starting next week as a first timer... I'm so scared and have been holding off for a while because of my nerves and anxiety! I haven't practiced routines or anything... I don't knw what songs to pick, how many outfits to bring, nothing! But I've wanted to do it for years now and finally am... what do i need to do to prepare for my first night?! HELP!!
Rachel Osborne · 9/25/2019
Go to stripperweb and have a good old read. All the best info there; see also @survivetheclub on Instagram- good luck
Hannadust74058221 · 9/27/2019
Thank you
Sammy Sparkles · 9/28/2019
If you are looking for outfits check out Solstice Intimates on IG, they have absolutely beautiful and sexy underwear and bodysuits that I think would be perfect for exotic dancing. Their stuff is kind of pricey but it really is beautiful.
Sammy Sparkles · 9/28/2019
Also follow The Queen of Sexy on IG. She is a former stripper and is a big advocate for strippers and their rights and worth as people (A lot of people do look down upon sex workers unfortunately) She is absolutely amazing with her facial expressions and eye contact and it makes her look incredibly confident and like she is having a lot of fun. I really really recommend her content for strippers and pole dancers.
PoleWithSoul · 9/28/2019
Have strong boundaries with EVERYONE you meet, whether they are friendly or mean, don't let anybody's behavior (good or bad) get in your head. Focus on people who are respectful to you and shut down or disengage with anyone or anything that makes you feel hurt, scared, confused etc. Stay safe and sober :-)