mental barriers

polebravely started this discussion · 4/14/2015

I have a huge mental barrier and, I guess, fear when it comes to doing a forearm or hand stand. I know I can do a forearm stand (though it still needs improvement for sure), but I get so frustrated with myself because my fear holds me back. I really do not understand why doing a forearm stand is so scary in my mind. I'm only doing it against the pole and my butt is right there to brace me lol. I'm afraid if I have this much fear over this...what if I will always be incapable of inverting. I want to invert so badly, but now, I'm worried. Anyone else ever experience this "mental barrior" with a forearm stand or any other move? If so, did you overcome it? Is it just a matter of practicing more and getting comfortable with the movement?

13 replies

Veena · 4/14/2015
It's very common, what is it that you fear specifically?
polebravely · 4/14/2015
I really don't know, maybe I am afraid I will fall somehow like into my head, or one leg will go beyond the pole and I will be stuck? I really don't get it, I struggle against the wall too. Just being upside down? I think it's the feeling of being upside and just thinking, not right, will fall.
Runemist34 · 4/14/2015
Yes. I also have a mental barrier with this- mostly, with being upside down. Specifically with any kind of hand/forearm/elbow stand, as well, but having my hips above my head is particularly upsetting to my anxiety. For this, I have chosen to take things slowly, and do the best that I can. I am working on more strength moves, as well as working on strength in my shoulders and back. My mental block is mainly around the belief that I am "not strong enough," and the extra strength that I gain from this work will, hopefully, make the attempt easier when I start. Next, I intend to start getting myself used to the sensation by having my legs braced upon something, while getting myself into an appropriate position with hips above head. This can be difficult, because my hamstrings are very tight... but they are definitely getting looser as I work. I'm going to be trying to "hang out" in that position as long as I can handle it, so that my fear begins to ease. It's a form of conditioning for anxiety and phobias, and I've found it really useful. Eventually, I'll start on the ground and get into "kicking" my legs up, until I can reach the pole. Other ways of doing this, if you're not too bad with actual upside-down-ness, is going into it from an inverted crucifix. This move is pretty scary for me (it's basically all the things I fear with pole dancing and my perceived lack of strength), but it has taught me a lot about getting into a handstand, and that I may actually be just dealing with fears, rather than actual physical issues. Just take it slow, work your way up. Break it down whatever way you can, into as small of increments as you need to. :)
Runemist34 · 4/14/2015
Also, while practicing, very important to keep your head in the game. I find focusing on breathing to be super beneficial- slow, controlled, and deep. No hyperventilating! Visualization can also be a giant boon, in which you picture yourself doing it easily and well. Picture yourself getting out of your trouble-spots easily, and tell yourself "That's okay, I can get out of it just fine!"
Veena · 4/14/2015
I suggest understanding what you fear, and then working through it, if you can't pin point it, it can be hard to overcome. I really recommend using the wall not the pole if you worry about falling over. Also baby steps, I see you have the lessons so use the first step I give you for elbowstands. Just walk the feet up and down, bringing the hips up over the head.....do this everytime you practice and BREATHE. Holding our breath can cause us to feel anxious so don't forget to breathe.
polebravely · 4/14/2015
All great tips. I will need to sit down and figure this out. I think it's mainly just the feeling of being upside down. I am much more comfortable when I have a spotter. I will really sit down, maybe journal about this, try to figure out why the fear is there.
Veena · 4/14/2015
Let us know if you figure anything out! 💜
AllysonKendal · 4/14/2015
Everyone has such great tips! Curious If you're trying with your head on the ground (this is what I'd call an elbowstand, not a forearm stand, but everyone calls things by different names)... Cause I find the fear level on the elbowstand much lower than what I call a forearm stand. A forearm stand for me is much more difficult, and a lot scarier especially when you do it with your face looking at the floor 😳 So I'd definitely start with head on the floor. So, sometimes I do shoulder presses with my knees on the couch/chair (much warmer than the pole, I can wear sweats, etc) soooo I'm wondering if a similar position, with your knees or feet on the sofa or even an exercise ball, could help you feel comfortable upside down. I do think it will come. At first I felt a lot more comfortable working on this from a CKR... :) that's another option. :) I hope some of that helped and isn't bad advice. Hopefully some can correct me if I gave you any bad tips 😁 I get nervous because I'm not an expert on this stuff.
AllysonKendal · 4/14/2015
Also with handstands I started by walking up the wall. That made me more comfortable than kicking up for sure. :)
poleisnewtome · 4/14/2015
You're not alone. I have these same fears. It took me a while to get comfortable doing an elbowstand, and now I'm learning handstands. I can kinda sorta do one against the wall and I can do one against the pole but only because I am flexible enough to reach the pole with my foot and hook it. Inverts scare me because I feel like my hands will slip or that I'll let go with both hands and come crashing down on my head breaking my neck. I dont know how people are able to let go and hold on with just their legs. So yeah, being upside down is a huge problem for me too.
polebravely · 4/14/2015
Great advice from everyone!!!
Lula Geddes · 4/15/2015
I don't have a fear of being upside down, but I do have a specific fear of forearm stands - my fear is that I will jerk and crack my neck... it's got a lot better now, the most important thing for me to overcome it was to have a spotter until I got so used to it that it didn't matter any more. This is kind of true for all moves I find scary, I just have to have someone there over and over again. I don't do proper handstands yet, I have absolutely no problem doing reverse ones, but for the life of me I can't do the standard one... still haven't work this out... I think it's a fear of cracking my heels against the wall while trying to get there... and falling straight back down or to one side...
Jenn1989 · 4/15/2015
It took me a long time to feel comfortable upside down. Using spotters, crash mats, and starting super close to the ground is what helped me. Eventually you always know exactly where to put pressure to not fall down, and the fear goes away with that confidence. I will admit that for some reason butterfly and being face down still freaks me out sometimes. Handstands used to be terrifying for me, but once I did a few with help, I slowly got over it and realized I wasn't going to die, lol. It takes time, but it does get better.