Maximizing safety or succumbing to fear?

poleisnewtome started this discussion · 12/24/2014

I know that with any type of physical activity there are risks. With pole, there are probably more risks than, let's say, biking, but even with that there are risks. I just read about Debbie Plowman, who is now paralyzed after falling out of a relatively easy move, the cross-knee release, and it horrifies me! I know that one is not supposed to rush into tricks before one is ready and strong enough. But when does holding back to maximize safety turn into holding yourself back because you are succumbing to fear? For example, I was terrified of doing a headstand. If I didn't at one point let go of the fear of breaking my head and take a risk, I would never have been able to do one, like I can now. I definitely didn't "feel" ready the first time I was able to successfully do one. How do you know you're not just holding yourself back because of fear? How do you maximize safety, while still managing to take that risk?

22 replies

Phoenix Hunter · 12/24/2014
I am one to err on the side of caution. I will use layback as an example. I would not fully do it until I got over both the fear and I knew I was ready. I was probably ready before the fear went away. I will just take baby steps into a trick and go a little further as I gain more courage. I would get into the position for layback and would kind of hold it for a while. Or I would let go of the pole for a second then quickly hands back on the pole. And I would progress from there. I will never just let go into a move if I don't feel I am strong enough to hold it. If I can't do the move I will do what ever prep work that will prepare me for it. This story scares me too. She knew how to do this move from what I hear. It wasn't new to her. That is what makes it so scary. Use a crash mat. Use a spotter . Use your own judgement . If you are too terrified you probably won't be able to hold a move. Keep trying it in baby steps . You will become less afraid because you will know what your body is capable of. And take your time. I'm definitely not a daredevil on the pole but I am now functioning at an advanced level of pole. It is possible to be smart and cautious and still progress. Layback would scare me so much that I would have to do it at the end of my sessions because my hands would shake so bad. It was slowly exposing myself to safe levels of that trick that helped me get it. And it took a while. Handstands are another example- now I love them. But didn't feel safe till I did strengthening that I knew would hold me up in a handstand. I will say this about headstands. It is not really beneficial to put a lot of weight onto your head. It can be damaging to your neck. I don't do headstands because I have had spinal surgery and have cervical injuries.- so I am also cautious about that. And I just think headstands are not pretty . But that's me. In my opinion, it is easier to injure your neck in a headstand than in an elbow stand where most of the pressure is on your forearms and your head barely touched the ground or doesn't touch at all
Phoenix Hunter · 12/24/2014
Also when I was practicing my paybacks I would not even lay back into the move. I would sit on the pole with my toes pointed up as if I was gonna do it. And just sit there and hold it. I couldn't actually layback. I finally got my layback when I did it in reverse . I came up from an elbow stand into my layback and I finally got it. Also you can practice laybacks from the floor with cushions or a mat underneath you
Lucca Valentine · 12/24/2014
Agree totally with what Pheonix said. Veena structures her lessons with the home poler in mind so she has prep exercises for all her moves as well as advising you with what moves you should have down before trying the next. Unfortunately some accidents are unavoidable but if you think about of all the people who have ever done pole over all these years that is the only story I have heard of something being that severe. And from my understanding it was a cross ankle release on a spinning pole which is kind of a risky move unless you are pretty well advanced. So I don't know if that story triggered people to be more cautious or what but maybe take some comfort in that it's rare. Just use common sense and knowing your body and doing all the appropriate prep/strength training work and making impeccable form your goal and not just progressing to new tricks. You will learn to trust yourself more as you get stronger :)
Runemist34 · 12/24/2014
There are two things I would say about this... First, is that we can injure ourselves perfectly well without pole dancing. I've heard of people breaking their ankles simply by getting out of bed, or paralyzing themselves by going down the same set of stairs they'd been traversing for years. Humans are perfectly capable of hurting themselves- we're not exactly a perfectly-balanced bunch. You ever tried to breathe a muffin? Same sort of thing! We just have occasional problems. Our bodies are not machines, as much as we would like to think of them that way; machines are perfect, they do the same thing over and over without fail, and always the same. We're not like that. Secondly, having dealt with an anxiety disorder for most of my life, I know a thing or two about fear. I HAVE actually fallen out of a Cross Ankle Release, and I was completely terrified of snapping my neck when attempting a somersault. The thing I've learned most recently is this: The more you avoid the thing you are afraid of, the more afraid you will be of it. I tried a somersault a few years ago. On my bed, with my friend giving me pointers, in the safest and least embarrassing situation I could possibly have created. I did it! A few times! And, I am no longer afraid of them. They aren't exactly part of my "regular movement," but I no longer feel fear. I have been working on the Cross Ankle Release for some time- again, in the safest ways I can create. I do it lifting up from the ground, and simply holding the grip. I'm teaching myself to get used to the hold, and I'm teaching myself about all the nuances of the hold. I'll have rock-solid abs by the time I'm up to it, too ;) It can be very difficult to face down fears, but it is best to do so right at the beginning, when you start to feel the fear in the first place. Tackling a nervous tension is far, far easier than taking down a full-blown phobia. I'm currently doing a very slow, controlled and quite terrifying practice of exposure training to get rid of my phobia of driving. It built up after years of avoiding driving at all- and, some bad experiences with my Ex. Push through, and remember that you may be fallible... but you can do your best to be present, to practice safely, and to be respectful of the danger.
poleisnewtome · 12/25/2014
@Phoenix Hunter By "head stand" I actually mean elbow stand! @Lucca Valentine Oh, it was a cross ankle release on a spinning pole? Well, that makes me feel better; at least the move was more difficult than what I thought (or from that one article I read). I agree with what everyone is saying. I think the key, for me, is conditioning. Unfortunately, I can't practice moves at home (besides conditioning) because I have an unbearably low ceiling (6'4") and can't really install a pole at that height.
Phoenix Hunter · 12/25/2014
okay, I probably sound stupid but I dont think a CAR feels any less secure on a spinning pole than a static. I dont know if that helps this fear or makes it worse. it just doesnt feel different to me as far as grip. now whether spinning scares you, then that's a different scenario. I guess spinning makes alot of moves scarier for alot of people but I dont feel like spinning makes a CAR more dangerous. I dunno. maybe that's just me? I think pole is about as dangerous as gymnastics. yes, they both can be dangerous but severe injuries seem to be rare because we progress to get to those riskier levels of skill. I'm glad you brought this subject up. I feel like no one wants to talk about how scary this can be.
Lucca Valentine · 12/25/2014
Eh just cuz centrifugal force really
Lucca Valentine · 12/25/2014
Everything just gets a little trickier when that's throwb in. Even if it's just a pole sit, it takes more strength to maintain that with good form if you're spinning even if it doesn't feel like it. Some things are easier to pop up into with spin like carousel spin/split grips where the goal IS to move away from the pole but for the most part it increases difficulty. At least by us, spin pole classes are only offered to level 2 and up
Cherished · 12/26/2014
For myself cushions and grip aids are my best friends when learning something new. Once you get more experienced you will get the feel for if you are solid in a move or not. The first thing I ever fell out of was a CAR. I thought it was fear holding me back and causing me to feel shaky when doing it but it turns out I wasn't gripping properly. I learned a new grip tip once I started Veena's lessons and have been secure in it since (spinning and static). The other move I've fallen out of was a holly drop - not too bad because my leg slowed me down but now I can do them easily and safely and I can tell when I have the proper grip and positioning to go for it and when I don't. Handstands are another move I didn't have confidence with. I didn't feel strong and had a fear that my arms would buckle. I've recently started working on them again now that I've gotten my cartwheel mount and am getting closer to mastering other core moves and I noticed now I can kick up against the wall easily unlike before. I definitely agree with all the advice here especially with conditioning, prep moves, and learning in moves in order to gain strength but throughout the process all I can say to really help with fear pillows pillows pillows until you execute the move consistently without faltering and gain a better idea of if you are afraid vs not physically ready.
chemgoddess1 · 12/26/2014
Having a healthy dose of fear is still good even when you can do a move without thinking. Environmental conditions play a HUGE role in things. I have watched friends slip and fall out of moves they have been doing for years. I fell out of a wrist seat (that was awful) and just recently almost lost it on a cross knee release because my legs were sweaty. I have a few moves that I still have not gotten past the fear of. It has not been until recently that I fully trusted someone to spot me (I am tall and have probably 30-40 lbs on most polers). There is a thin line between healthy fear and fear that keeps you from moving on. As you gain more confidence in getting out of moves I think that line gets a little blurred. It comes with time and practice.
Phoenix Hunter · 12/26/2014
a little off topic sorta , but wrist seat is one the scariest moves for me! I still dont understand why it is a beginner move! haha! I think it is terrifying. only my hands holding me on with all my weight leaning back is crazy. :)
drsltfl2978 · 12/26/2014
Have u tried doing it with knees bent, then slowly extending your legs? You shorten your lever length that way, making it easier to balance:) as your confidence improves, slowly extend your legs
Phoenix Hunter · 12/26/2014
yes, that's usually how I do it. I actually can do it very well. I dont have any problem executing the move but it is still very scary even though I am very secure in the move.
chemgoddess1 · 12/26/2014
Trust me, falling out of it and hitting my head made me think twice about doing this move! I was at a club and the pole was greasy and I had a few drinks. Due to the whole picture I was limiting moves that I was doing and thought nothing at all of a wrist seat.
Phoenix Hunter · 12/26/2014
ahhhh! I've always been afraid of that move and rarely do it even though I can technically do it. yes, I can see how easy it would be to fall from it. I wont do it unless my grip is absolutely supreme and I am not the least bit sweaty which is like never! So scary Chem! your poor head!
PoleRules · 12/27/2014
I've fallen on my head trying to do the brass monkey-and I even managed to hit the floor in between where I had all these sofa cushions set up! Guess I just didn't have a solid enough leg grip! Needless to say I haven't tried it since and won't unless I have a huge mat and a spotter!
Phoenix Hunter · 12/27/2014
polerules, brass monkey is scary for me. I wont work on it without a mat for now. if you can , get a good crash mat. I just got mine recently and it is so worth it.
poleisnewtome · 12/27/2014
@Phoenix Hunter May I ask what kind of crash mat you have and where you bought it? Also, is it portable?
Phoenix Hunter · 12/27/2014
I got a round 5inch thick mat from yoga direct. it is two halves of a circle that velcro together. you can break them apart then each half folds again. Portable is relative. this thing is huge but it does fold. the folded halves are very thick. it's not crazy heavy or anything to carry around. I guess it just depends on what you mean by portable. Like, I would not want to drag this thing to class with me but I can easily move it from room to room in my home. yes, it would fit in my car easily if I needed to bring it to the studio for some reason. go to yogadirect.com and check them out. it fits the base of my xstage lite perfectly. it think it is about 5 feet diameter? and 5 inches thick.
AllysonKendal · 12/27/2014
I have the 4in yoga direct mat. You can see it folded here into quarters near my book shelf. It's light, but it's still really big. I got the 4inch because I have 8in clearance under the bed so I thought I could store it there. Turns out its really more than 4in anyway. And doesn't really come close to fitting under the bed, oh well. I don't want to force it and rip it or something. I do love it. It's VERY cushiony and makes me feel safer when trying new things.
Veena · 12/27/2014
ALWAYS work within your ability and comfort level. That's the best way to avoid an accident. However accidents happen, I pole danced during my last pregnancy and danced within my ability without issue... BUT, the pregnancy before I fell down a small flight of steps while very pregnant (I instinctively turned and landed on my hip so everything was ok!) but it could have been very bad! My point is accidents happen even doing everyday things like walking steps. Fear is something that is very powerful and whatever you allow your mind to dwell on tends to manifest. So if you always come into pole practice with fear and worry, you will have a difficult time moving past these fears. The best thing you can do is stay positive and don't dwell on negative thoughts, when they pop up, learn to switch on positive thoughts.
poleisnewtome · 12/27/2014
I'm definitely going to have to get that mat. Thanks for the info!