Leaving my Husband

Dwiizie started this discussion · 1/24/2014

Well, I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving him. Got my own apartment in the city. One with 12 ft ceilings OMGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sad a little, but so excited! I'm going to have to order an extension for the pole. All my utilities will be cut on on Monday. Its going to be SO hard to transition, but the hardest part, breaking the news, talking, seems to be behind us. I'm sure I will get sad as I sift through momentos. But we both agree that we are parting out of love in recognition of how toxic we are to one another. Actually, he's the nicest and best version of himself since we got married. Thats why I feel its the right thing even though it hurts like hell. Just to see him be free and happy again.

12 replies

PerfectInperfection · 1/24/2014
Good luck on ur new journey. & keep ur head up! Ur still young with plenty of life in u!
yrngrl · 1/24/2014
Good luck! I've been there, and all the hard parts really were worth it in the end.
Palace · 1/24/2014
I'm sorry. I know it is tough and if you feel you need to walk away, by all means do. Time will give you both the opportunity to heal and grow as you see fit---together or apart! Sending you love and light!
Isis Kane · 1/24/2014
I'm getting over a breakup, too. Not anything like leaving a husband since we weren't married...but we did have a strong connection that I eventually realized was extremely toxic. It's hard sometimes, but it made me realize how important relationships with other women are to me, and how much strength we can give each other if we are around the right people. It's wonderful to have a passion like pole (and community) to fall back on. Best Wishes~
Legs4Days · 1/24/2014
Oh Im sorry. I went thru the same thing....it does get better tho. Where are u in the city with those wonderful ceilings?? My daughter is in school down there.
Legs4Days · 1/24/2014
It took us 15 years to part but that was over 9 years ago. You will be okay...at least you are civil to each other rite?
tiggertail · 1/24/2014
Sorry you have to got through this girl. I left long time bf (and daddy of my 2 boys) after 10 years, a little over 1 year ago. Was the best move i could have ever done even if at first it was painful to give up all i had work so hard for. I now have an amazing bf who support me and make me feel like a better person. Sending you a big hug for having done what was best for you :)
anamika · 1/25/2014
So sorry but happy for you both for fivuring it out and letting each other be. Well wishes with everything that comes your way.
Dwiizie · 1/26/2014
It's been very civil and we both want it to stay that way. We argued over who got to keep Ace Ventura lol. But other than that we've split everything down the middle. All my stuff is packed I got that done while he was asleep mostly. I worked from 6 am to noon to pack as he snored (one thing I will not miss!) My brothers helping me move on Tuesday. And Legs4Days it's near VCU in the fan. All those older buildings have amazing high ceilings. There's a 1 br opening up in April at 2618 Grove that has 10 ft ones I think.
Legs4Days · 1/26/2014
That is a beautiful historical area as IM sure u know. Congrats. I love it down there. IM on my way there now to pick up my daughter and she wants an apt down there too. She will prob get the oncampus apts tho for now. Good luck to you and keep in touch. My mom always says things happen for a reason, like during my divorce. I didnt quite get it..but then I married the man who I prob shud have married at first. Then I understood. :)
vkissme · 1/26/2014
It takes a brave women to walk away something or someone who is your poison. I wish you the bestest luck. It will be new and hard in the beginning but thru pain happiness comes. I have made the same brave stand in my life and I thank God for it. I am so much happier and in a safer better place in my life. It gave me room to find someone else who makes me happy, who treats me how i want to be treated. I know i speak from every girl here when i say . We as POLE Family are here for you and any other women. We can be messaged , emailed , etc to even be a ear to vent to. God Bless.
Dwiizie · 1/27/2014
So far so good. We packed my car up this morning. Just trying to get through my day. Coordinate peeps to help with some of the moving. Its 2 hours round trip to get to my stuff and back to the apartment. The worst thing at this point is trying to pay for gas and just get the stuff over to the place. Getting new items when shared things were left behind. Can not WAIT to have those tall ceiling for the omni gym. My mom said I sound frazzled. Not frazzled. IMPATIENT!