Lap Dance Dilemma

Former member started this discussion · 2/13/2009

Hi Guys, so this is my current event right now.......at a previous lap dance class i went to, it was guy practice night, where guys were brought in and and we practiced on them. i didn't have a guy that night so my teacher let me use her guy friend that she had brought in, named pete- he's really cute and stuff and i did a few moves on him. anyways, at lap dance class tonight we created individual routines for ourselves because in two weeks we'll be dancing for guys we bring in right? It's like the final thing, the recital where we get all dressed up and stuff and do an actual serious lapdance. anyways, my teacher- who im so intimidated by because she's so beautiful and so talented, asked me if i had a guy to bring in, and i said no, because im so shy and dont know ANY guys here! so she said she would bring in her friend pete for me who's in his late twenties (i think), and is a firefighter and stuff. so then she said, "you should dress up as a firefighter!" and she has these fireman pants that i could strip out of and stuff and everyone in the class is all excited about it now. anyways- im REALLY intimidated because pete's really really cute and im still trying to build confidence from the only relationship ive ever been in that was really awful and kind of abusive. anyways, do you guys have any tips for me?? i KNOW i can do the moves, but when nerves kick in and he's really cute i become a sad puddle of nervous sascha. what tips do you have for me to stay calm and totally rock this thing???? 😕

22 replies

ducky · 2/13/2009
You'll do just fine. Go get em tiger!! Just have fun and be yourself around him, then you can get to know his personality a little better and see if you two click. Is it possible that Pete told your instructor that he thought you were cute and that's the reason for the fireman costume and volunteering him again?
glitterhips · 2/13/2009
Okay as someone that has been through not one but TWO self-esteem crushing abusive relationships, I think you need to remember Wendy's book and reread the parts about what a sex kitten you are! Any guy that has a girl squirming around on his lap doesn't even care what you're doing, you could probably be knitting a sweater and he'd still be drooling over the cute girl stripping out of the fireman costume! I'm sure it will help to have at least a loosely planned out routine so you can have something to follow if you do get nervous but honestly I think you'll do just fine. Just remember you are the sexiest thing alive and he is LUCKY to have you giving him a lap dance! I know it's hard to think that after coming out of a relationship with someone that was shitty to you but guys love confident women. I've been to strip clubs and the dancers making the most money weren't the prettiest or the skinniest, they were the ones that walked around like they were the hottest thing ever and acted like guys were lucky to be able to pay them for a dance hehe. And also you can think about what your stupid asshole ex is missing out on, not like he would have appreciated it anyway :-p
Trena · 2/13/2009
Sascha, as someone who has seen you do chair moves and seen your floor moves video I assure you, you are gonna have this guy eating out of the palm of your hand no matter what you do!!! 😉 You are so unbelievably sensual, even when you were making the floor moves video for your friend 'Nise', you were utterly captivating!!! I know you were in an abusive relationship and Im not gonna try tell you how to feel because Ive never been in that kind of relationship! What I will say though, at the risk of sounding a little gay, you are totally sexy!!! (and you've got a fantastic pair of legs!!) So you're gonna rock Pete's world!! You have a natural talent girl so try forget about the asshole ex cause he's a 🐷 and doesnt deserve another minute in your brain or your heart!!!! 🙂
azriel · 2/13/2009
Glitter is right- you should totally take your own advice (and you have awesome advice about this stuff) about this! sometimes when it comes to our own issues, we totally forget how to apply everything we know- think of what you would tell a friend if she asked for your advice for this exact same issue, and then follow exactly that- trust me, this works better than it sounds, you just have to really get into the role. Also from a psychological point of view, (and this is obvious), we tend to get more nervous around people we feel intimidated by, people we think we like more than they like us, and people we like of the opposite sex. So just like you said, you KNOW you can do the moves, it's just that if it was someone else you didn't particularly like, you'd be fine! so this is where you need to trick your brain- you can make your brain believe everything that glitter said (and it's true anyway!) - you are HOT, sexy, confident, and he definately is lucky as hell to be gettin a lapdance from you (and for free too! lol). He's lucky that you even like him, i don't care How cute he is. I know it sounds wierd, but you'd be surprised how easily your brain can be affected by your thoughts. That's why they say, if you pretend to be confident, and act confident, you actually become confident. If you didn't care about this guy's opinion, you'd do great, so tell yourself- you don't CARE what he thinks! and why should you? you know you're awesome, and so does everyone that has seen you showing us some moves! Think of under what circumstances you wouldn't be nervous, and then make yourself believe that those are the actual circumstances. You're just in the class to have fun, and doin this final recital to have fun- so think of it as that, and not as a serious performance that you're being judged or graded on! and like you've said , guys are simple (and stupid 😀)- they're so easily pleased by lapdances and wouldn't even know if you made a mistake- you just keep going as if that was part of the routine. More of your own advice: before you start, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you open them, you're in a new role- and take your time. You're definately gonna be awesome as hell. And i'm also thinking what ducky said- that maybe your instructor volunteered him again because he may have said something to her about it.. 😛
Veena · 2/14/2009
Wow you ladies all gave such good advice I don't know that I can add much more. 🤓 I have struggled with that very same problem....being intimidated by people, but the good thing is it CAN be overcome. So from now on you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself out loud that your sexy! and in control...when you do any kind of exotic day remember YOU are really the one in control. You have all the power...you can choose to show or do as little or as much as you want. He's just lucky he gets to be part of it!! I can tell from your vid that this seems to be something that you really enjoy, a different side of you. So embrace your inner naughty there's nothing wrong with that. Just relax and don't think or worry about anyone else, turn your focus on how hot you are not how cute you think he is.... enjoy that experience. ☀️
Poledancefan · 2/14/2009
OK, I would probably never say this outside this forum because it's a fairly small group of us regular posters so I've got that comfort level and I'll just say the other posters are absolutely right. But what I will add is that when I first saw your lap dance moves post, I was convinced that maybe you had meant to put it on private and maybe I shouldn't even be watching it because it was VERY sexy! Of course I watched it anyway, LOL! I mean, what guy wouldn't! Then I wrote a comment, then I deleted it, because I was thinking she really meant it to be on private, she'll be really p****d off because it'll look like I was being creepy! But then I thought, Jeez...you've commented on a million pole dances, so just go ahead, leave a nice comment and don't worry about it. So what I am trying to say is that you were so GOOD you got me rattled--and that was just on a video! I think you will do just fine. The key in any situation is putting the other person at ease. I would be willing to bet that while he is in total control at the fire station, when he walks into a room of ladies practicing lap dances, he'll be nervous as hell! He will have his game face on, trying hard not to screw up in front of his friend. The class is where you are in control. If he's a decent, normal, polite guy, he will go along with the situation and follow your lead. You know that winning, friendly manner you have in the video like you are talking to your friend Denise? Just use that same personality--you'll knock him dead--I know it for a fact because I saw you do it on You-Tube! And as for this post, shhhhh.... ::holds finger to lips, face red with embarrassment:: .....it's a secret, between us--and everybody else who joins the forum, LOL! Joel
Former member · 2/14/2009
Ok, so I’m writing you guys back individually because you all gave such beautiful advice and I appreciated it so much!!!!!!! Ducky: you’re so sweet!!! It never occurred to me that Pete would tell my teacher he thought I was cute, that night I looked like a mess, no makeup- hair slicked back. But when he sees me this time he won’t even recognize me because my hair will be done and my makeup on and stuff haha. I can only HOPE that he said he liked me! 🙂 Glitter: Ily!!! You’re so sweet!!!! You’re right, I do need to reread Wendy’s book. I laughed so hard about the knitting the sweater thing, it’s so true!!! I have a routine already, I wrote it up that night at class and my teacher said it was really good so I just need to practice it. And I’m dancing to my fave song, Framing Hanley-Lollipop, so that’s good. You’re right about the confidence thing, I’m just gonna pretend I’m confident Sascha and not scared to death Taylor lol. 🙂 Trena- Ahhh!!! Thank you honey!!!! Your comments made my whole day, seriously. I’m always so hard on myself, I thought that floor vid was stupid, so it means a lot to me that you said those things. Thank you so much, seriously I can’t tell you enough how much your post meant to me 🙂 You’re right, my ex IS a pig, and I’ll do my best to have Pete eating out of my hand! Azriel- you’re so right!! When it comes down to US, we forget how to apply everything; and you’re right- it’s all just acting. It’s just a role, and it’s just 3 minutes of my life!! I knew you would say something wonderful about the psychological point of view!!! I like how you suggested I trick my brain, if you pretend to be confident, act confident, you’ll be confident. And you’re right! He IS damn lucky I have a crush on him! *stamps foot* haha! I loved how you said, “if you didn’t care about this guys opinion, you’d do great” you’re right!!!! Ok. So that night, when I’m standing with this ridiculous firemans hat on, and firemans pants, just before I go out there I’m gonna close my eyes, take a deep breath and when I open them up I’m Sascha and I rock. Haha ILY girl! Thank you!!!! Veena: I’ll try very hard to say out loud that I’m sexy. Maybe hearing it out loud will help me believe it more. And you’re right, I’M the one in control here, he’s just my prop! He’s just a stupid guy right? 🙂 Thank you Veena!!! Joel: You’re comment made my day! I was grinning like an idiot when I read it. Thank you for saying all that you did, it seriously made my whole day, especially coming from a man’s point of view. Your youtube comments always are wonderful, I wouldn’t have been pissed off at all, no worries. I made that vid and then made it private but then made it public again, so no worries at all. You’re right about the control thing too, he’s just a guy, he’s stuck in that chair and I’m free to do whatever I want to him. The thing I’m nervous about, is that there’s a lot of X and R rated stuff that I’ll be doing to him in my routine, I guess that’s why I’m nervous- like inverts and grinding and me doing stuff to him while he’s laying down and stuff- it’s kind of an intense routine. But you’re right, he’s not in control, I am. And it’s all acting anyways. It’ll be funny too because during the dance I’ll try to be all sexy and stuff and afterwards I’ll revert back into my little girl nature haha. Thank you so much Joel, you really made my day!! Ok, so this post is long, but I just wanted to tell you guys how much I truly appreciated your kind words, I don’t have many friends here at school so you guys mean a lot to me!!!!!!!! I love you all! Thank you!! (and you KNOW I’ll be telling you how it went!) If you guys are cool with it, maybe I could run some ideas I have by you???
Neke · 2/16/2009
Hey Sascha, I just wanted to repeat what's already been said about guys not caring. They really really don't care. I've had hour long lapdances where I've just sat there and occasionally bounced up and down to make my boobs jiggle (that's not very civilized, I'm sorry!). Guys will just sit there going 'OMG THIS IS AWESOME YOU HAVE BOOBS' for hours and hours, and at the end of it they will be like 'wow that was the best lapdance ever.' Meanwhile I'll be thinking 'wth, I literally just sat there, are you retarded?...' They are so easily amused it's just not even funny! You could flop around on the floor like a beached whale and they'll still be sitting there going 'OH GOOD GOD there's a girl in front of me! Yes!' Your floor moves vid is awesome, which you already know, but I wanted to point out that every move you do is very deliberate and perfect. You don't even have a pinkie finger out of place! If I sat there with a microscope I still don't think I could find anything wrong with any of your moves - I honestly think you are going to blow this guy away. He's going to have a heart attack or something! Imagine how nervous he is going to be too- you've done this before, he might not have! You will be way less scared than him, I guarantee it.
Former member · 2/16/2009
hahaha neke ily, seriously you made me feel so much ebtter abotu this dance- the beached whale comment made my day, seriously i laughed out loud. they ARE simple huh? i have a pretty kickass routine planned, if yuo guys wanna hear about it i'll post it 🙂 you're so sweet too, seriously i dont realize stuff that you guys do, especially on those sucky vids i posted on youtube, they aren't a big deal at all! thank you so much for saying those nice things about everything being in place 🙂 it seriously made me smile 🙂 my goal is to blow him away, i think you guys gave me the courage to make this dance kick ass 🙂 thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
Trena · 2/16/2009
I've had hour long lapdances where I've just sat there and occasionally bounced up and down to make my boobs jiggle (that's not very civilized, I'm sorry!). Guys will just sit there going 'OMG THIS IS AWESOME YOU HAVE BOOBS' for hours and hours, and at the end of it they will be like 'wow that was the best lapdance ever.' Meanwhile I'll be thinking 'wth, I literally just sat there, are you retarded?...' They are so easily amused it's just not even funny! You could flop around on the floor like a beached whale and they'll still be sitting there going 'OH GOOD GOD there's a girl in front of me! Yes!' Neke, you are so funny!! 😀 Priceless!! Most men are such morons! (Derm made me put the word 'most' at the start of the sentence!! lol. Sascha when is the lap dance?
Former member · 2/17/2009
hahaha, i laughed at that whole thing too trena 🙂 neke, i was just looking at all your pics, they're so cool!!! im so impressed, and jealous too!!! your teddy is fantastic and the shoulder mount rocks too; i haven't been able to get those yet. 🙂 trena, the lap-dance is next thursday- the 26th. ill post the routine i made if you want to see it written out- its kind of complicated, but im weird like that so im gonna try to memorize it...we'll see how that goes.
Rouge_LAmour · 2/17/2009
and remember, you are in control. You decide when, how and where you are going to make that move. It's all about you for the length of your song and NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, is going to tell you anything different. so, go shake that money maker. This is what our feminist sisters fought to long and hard for: control over our own lives. LOL, when did Pole become a feminist activity????
Former member · 2/18/2009
thanks so much rouge! you know, i was really nervous to make this post because i didn't want everyone to think i just wanted compliments and stuff, i really was scared about this lapdance, but now im excited about it- really and truly because of you guys- you guys seriously gave me courage to go through with this and rock it! 🙂 thank you everybody!!! so, this is what i was gonna wear for it- when i first come out, i'll have on a firemans hat and a firemans coat- which i'll strip out of, and underneath that will be black bootie shorts, a black silky/lacey/tie-up the front sexy tank (http://www.wetseal.com/catalog/product.jsp?categoryId=101&subCategoryId=113&productId=17000), black fish-net stockings with black knee socks that will pop out just over my black knee high boots....and then black lace fingerless gloves with my hair down and curly and really wild.....it's a very black outfit haha 🙂 this is the song- lollipop by framing hanley and this is the routine i made- the thing is, is that it SEEMS complicated, but when i just practiced it a few times it's not that big of a deal, it's just paying attention to the lyrics to know when to do the next move- i could have crammed a ton of stuff in there, like inverts and the 69 move, venus fly trap, all that good stuff, but i wanted to focus on sexy sexy sexy and not dance move dance move dance move. so what im doing is "economy of motion"- where im gonna do the least amount of motion in the most amount of time, if that makes sense- so here's the routine, please dont be offended, but this is my disclaimer: it's very dirty. : walk out to him "and sheeeeee" (0:14) take hat off with back facing him- bend down and set on ground, bend over so bootie pops out of coat, hair whip, sexy stand up dance around in coat, unbutton while looking at him "2nd...lovely lady lumps" (0:49) drop coat onto floor, walk over to him sexy bootie sit onto him, back facing his front. grind in a circle, take his hands, place on boobs grind in back and forth motion- take his hands and THROW off of you "made that ass jump" (1:14)- quick do pony ride HARD! shake bootie in his face "that's when sheeeeeee" (1:17)- melt off of him, crawl away "shorty wanna thug" (1:31) picasso arch "2nd shorty wanna hump" (1:48) roll over onto back, put strategically placed hat over crotch, and while doing writhing goddess, place one hand underneath hat to simulate masturbation....rising goddess "wont you get on your knees" (1:56) roll over onto side, side leg peel- lick leg get up, crawl towards him "call me, so i can get it..." (2:09)- bite the zipper on his jeans and tug- simulating a blow job "CALL ME!" (2:22)- stand up, motion with fingers for him to get on his knees "so I can make it juice" (2:30)- bootie slam, hard! "bottles in the club" (2:41)- crawl away, motion for him to come closer as you get on your back "bottles in the club" (2:52)- on your back, wrap your legs around his torso, and PULL down, he'll come down on top of you, facing you while leaning on his palms which are on the ground. with legs still wrapped around his torso, lift your pelvis up and down simulating humping- continue to do this till end of song if brave- give him a little kiss on his cheek for being a good sport 🙂 so i guess typing that all out it probably is complicated, but its not unrealistic unless i get nervous or he takes his sweet ass time getting onto his knees 🙂 what do you guys think??
Flosqito · 2/18/2009
omg sascha this is going to be an epic routine!!!! i wish you could videotape it and put it on youtube hahaha! he is going to go crazy! hahaha yay im so excited for you .. your going to do amazing i cant wait for you to tell us all about how it goes 😀:D good luck dolly face you will do amazing and i kno it 😀 mucho love flos!!!
Neke · 2/18/2009
aw thanks Sascha! *blushes* Your routine sounds insane! I can't believe how much thought you've put into it, it's going to be so amazing. Guys can be unpredictable though, so be prepared to improvise a little in case something happens like he doesn't want to put his hands on your boobs (I know that sounds stupid but sometimes they just feel uncomfortable), or he is too flustered to get on the ground. He might put his stupid hands in the way of where you want to go, or something like that. Sometimes I"ll tell a guy to sit back in his seat (which is one of the rules, so we don't get too close), and he'll move forward. And I'll go 'No, BACK', and he'll move so far forward that he's almost lying on the ground. And I'll say 'No, Pick yourself up, sit down, move your bum so it's touching the back of the couch.' And they'll stand up and look at you like an idiot. Sometimes they'll move across the couch so they're sitting sideways. I have spent at least 5 minutes once showing a guy how to sit in a chair... that is not an exaggeration, and sadly it happens on a regular basis. Maybe their minds are just not in the right place to understand instructions during a lapdance, or they're just stupid, or both. I don't know. Anyway, moving them can sometimes be difficult, so be prepared to not freak out if something (ie the boy) messes it up! And I kind of assumed you would be filming it.. you better film it! I want to see this! Especially the sexy fireman outfit! 😀
Former member · 2/18/2009
ahhhhhhhhh! i love you guys, thank you!!!! flos your comment made my whole day, thank you so much honey!!!!!!! i cant wait till its over so i can tell you how it went 🙂 and neke you're the best, thank you for explaining the whole chair thing- i forgot that you guys use couches!!! thats really impressive because ive only ever used armless chairs before. im gonna tell my teacher to tell him to sit up straight and just go with whatever i do- i think he'll be cool with it...he must be if he's there right? 👑 but seriously though before the dance im gonna tell him that when i tell him to do something make it snappy haha. and you're right though- im expecting to have to go with the flow during the routine. well, tomorrow im going to show my teacher my ideas, do a few rough practices of the routine for her, and show her my outfit- i know she'll be cool with everything- but im not sure about the hat on crotch thing, she's never taught something that raunchy before so i want to make sure she's ok with it before i do in front of the class haha. i wish so bad we could tape it!!! but im not sure the rest of the class would go for it- see the other girls in the class are bringing their boyfriends and husbands and stuff in too- so its not going to be just me and him in a room you know? there's gonna be a ton of other people too. thank you so much guys, seriously your comments mean so much to me!!!!!!!! i feel like i can really rock this routine now thanks you you all! 🦇
Sparklie · 2/18/2009
There is one thing that works for me.. It came from Honey, a girl I work with, and her approach is, "fake it until you make it. My goal when I dance is to make every person out there want me in the worst way no matter if I am their body type or not. Fake the confidence and one day it will happen."
Former member · 2/18/2009
thanks sparklie!!!! that's such awesome advice 🙂 i'm definitely gonna use that idea!
FridaSiren · 2/28/2009
Hey there! I´m sure i´m not the only one out here who is real curious about how well your dance went...and the cute firefighter? 😀 😀 🌸 Best wishes!!!
Veena · 3/2/2009
Hey I heard it went well.....I hope she tell us more!! 😀 😀
pole-twista · 3/4/2009
that sounds amazing sascha! 🥂 now that is a routine lol I have never put thought like that into a dance I am a freestlyler all the way but am trying to learn howw to build a routine i think you just showed me a great way to make routines to my fave jams well i'm sure the guy had a little troube standing after you were through w him 😉
Former member · 3/4/2009
hi guys! im so soryr that it took me THIS long to write back, school has been really hectic lately....anyways, i was REALLY nervous about the dance because in a way i knew it'd be my audition for the troupe- even though i was already in the troupe i knew my teacher would be watching me and critiquing my style of dance...but it couldn't have gone ANY more perfect!!!! i hit all the right moves at the right times, i had him so nervous and the class was shocked at the stuff i did lol. at the very end, when i was on my back and he was on top of me, everyone started clapping and he and i started laughing really hard. when we were standing up, im such a nerd- i stuck my hand out to shake his hand and he started laughing and pulled me into a hug. so it went REALLY well, you guys really made me feel like i could do this- so thank you guys!!!! i definitely am letting go of this crush though because its just very bad timing you know? 🙂