lack of response

pole-twista started this discussion · 4/29/2009

hey all. am feeling a little raw emotionally at the moment so maybe i am just being too sensitive, but i know this topic came up in chat on fri and has been on my mind a little. i am so super excited i am finally able to post, 🤸 🥂 but the lack of response i am finding a little discouraging. 😳 i certainly dont need 5 star votes and a paragraph of compliments, but would be nice to get something. 🌸 i used to always vote for people and leave comments, but havent as much bc notice a video can go up and 4hrs later theres like 7 comments and mine will be up for 4 days and maybe have 1. 😢 i know i shouldnt take it personally, and like i was saying to whoever was saying they get discouraged bc people dont comment, its about the process not the end result, but it starts to make you think your vidoes must really be pretty unimpressive. 👎 i could see more so if i wasnt an active member and i never bothered to post or try to help/suppourt, but thats not the case. 🤔 theres a couple of dances i want to post but i know i really love those videos and dont want to post, get no response and than strat questioning wether they're any good. sorry if i sound bitchy, like a baby, over sensitive, fill in the blank, but it has been on my mind a little and has kept me from being as active as i used to be with posting ect. 😕 now even if nothing changes i feel better for having spoke my feelings. ☀️ as i said i just wanted to get this off my mind. its not just the videos but also forum topics. more than once i have started a topic ( twisted grip recently) and got NO response, although people who have posted after me have. 😮 am not sure if i am just reading into things too much, if i did something wrong, if my vids just really do suck??? well as i said i just wanted to vent. thanks for "listening:". hope you are all doing well. 👑 👸 ☀️

20 replies

Andrea · 4/29/2009
Awww, im sorry that you're feeling that way, but I can see where your coming from. I've seen all your videos and they're all lovely. You're a great dancer! Sometimes I watch videos and don't have time to leave comments or respond to forum topics. I usually stop by this site for just a couple minutes to see what's going on. I'd hate for you to feel overlooked, It's nothing personal at all, we all love you!
cali · 4/29/2009
ow dont feel like that 🙁 i try and write a comment on every one but alot of the time my computer or the sight have not figured out whice one it is yet messes up like i will write it post it then it will not post or it will then when i go back it is gone weird i know. you are doing great htow and i used to feel the same way hey my ypoutub account has bout 75-90 views and not one comment or stare if it makes you feel better lol just klnow we all love ya sweetie and dont feel bad about it!! ps you are not being bichy!!! im glad you spoke up! 🥂 😀
lily · 4/29/2009
Hey sweetie - I'm sorry you're feeling that way, your videos don't suck at all! All I can say is that it can be hard to get your personality to come through in the right way on a message board sometimes (not saying anything negative about the way you've come across at all, just generally speaking).....I've been a part of many message boards and have often been a 'post killer' - especially in the beginning....just don't take it personally and keep posting! ☀️ To be totally honest about your videos though, often if I see multiple videos by the same user I will only watch one because I figure I'm going to be seeing the same thing.....so maybe post a little fewer vids and keep them well edited and specific. 🌸 Also, remember we are all busy and community forums can move fast, threads get lost and and people forget to respond - just roll with it! 🙂
Veena · 4/29/2009
I'm glad you felt you were able to tell us how you were feeling. I wouldn't worry about lack of response to your vids. I have notices that if a dancer posts a lot of vids in a row, so on the same day, people (no matter how much they like you) will tend to not watch them all. Remember the average vid is 3 - 5 min. if someone post 4 vids on the same day, thats 20 min of just watching one person. 😲 I always love the music you use 🥂 and its nice to finally see your moves!! There will be a point in the near future, where I just wont have time to whats every vid everyone does. 😢 Ok here's a personal example....I was really proud of my California girl vid, I've been working on my "stage" presence and dance, I thought it was one of my best in that respect....but if I were to go by stars and number of comments? Its nothing great. LOL But I still think I did great! It is soooo hard, to not judge yourself by number of views and comment....If you only feel good about your dancing based on getting a response you be disappointed. We love ya Twista 😉 Post for you! Dance for you, and measure your work against your personal best, don't rely on others to do that. 🙂 As far as missing your TG post...I too have posted something and no one has responded, sometime people only follow or check, on the front section to see new posts, so if its a busy day, some will get missed. ☀️ 🌸
yogabeachbabe · 4/29/2009
I'm sorry you feel that way, Pole-Twista. I don't think it's a personal issue at all. Yes, I'll admit that when I see a bunch of vids by the same person, I'll save them for a later date. And also, I've commented on some vids and they end up disappearing and I'm not sure what's wrong. Glad you got your feelings off your chest. As for twisted grip, or other moves that I haven't even had the nerve to approach, there's really nothing for me to add. It's hard when you put something out there that you're proud of and don't get the response you wanted. I admire all you guys who post videos. I still don't have the confidence to do it, but I'm working on it. Keep posting and keep dancing--Veena's right: it doesn't matter what anyone else says, good or bad. And for the record, you're a lovely dancer, in my opinion!
glitterhips · 4/29/2009
Dont feel bad! I have to agree with everyone else, when someone posts a lot of videos I dont watch every single one because that would mean I'd be here all day (not that I wouldn't prefer that over going to work...) I have over 100 subscribers on youtube and I only get about 15-20 comments per video even though some have hundreds of views. I definitely wouldnt take it personally, I do try to at least comment on a few videos from each member here but it definitely gets hard with the amount of people here and the amount of videos posted between here and youtube. But youre a great dancer and I'd be sad if you stopped posting so just because I don't always comment doesnt mean I dont want to see them 😢
azriel · 4/29/2009
Pole-twista your videos are anything but sucky! i too agree with everyone else about posting vids on the same day- the views/comments will tend to spread out between them.. and it's not just you, i've actually noticed that happening with others and on you tube as well. It also happened to me when the site first put the video section on, and i uploaded whatever video i had done so far on the same day. i tend to like commenting on every video i watch, but of course i miss some, and others i just haven't gotten to yet! don't stop posting i love watching you and i think you dance beautifully!!
Foxy_Rei · 4/30/2009
I'm basically just repeating what everyone else is saying, but I still wanted to add my vote: I also tend not to watch every single video when there's several in a row by the same person. When you sit and watch them all at once, they get kinda monotonous, no matter how good they are. To be honest, I didn't even watch all of Jungle's videos when he went on his posting spree and I probably haven't seen them all yet! (where's Jungle been lately, anyway? 🤔 ) It also tends to shuffle others' videos off the first page causing theirs to be overlooked... If it makes you feel any better, there have been a couple threads I've started that didn't get responses at all or took like a week for someone to respond. But I know you're trying to play catch-up with posting the videos since you had problems getting them uploaded. But you're still an awesome dancer and we all enjoy watching you! 🥂 Keep posting!
amcut · 4/30/2009
To me, it's a lot like photos on social networking sites like myspace and facebook. If you post a photo once every blue moon you get WAY more attention than if you post your entire vacation every week. Even a provocative photo loses it's novelty if there are bunches of them. I fully support holding out and making witches miss you enough to ply you with messages saying, "where's your new video?!" As a SERIOUS thread killer myself, I commiserate. I am often the last person to grace a thread, and I know it's because I put something so stupid no one even wants to acknowledge it- at least you can be like, "Well, no one knows exactly how to explain twisted grip". I looked in on your TG thread- I even went to the pole and put my arms in it and tried meekly to lift myself.. but then I came back to the keyboard and was like, "...how the hell else can you try to do it?" ANYWAYS. Don't feel bad, you're noticed and appreciated. ❗
Charley · 4/30/2009
Pole Twista - that was me on Friday chat =) I don't get hardly any responses to my vids at all!!!! It's hard because you do feel bad. You do feel like you're doing something wrong or are not entertaining. That is the farthest thing from the truth with you. You are good!!! I don't leave a lot of responses anymore because no one responds to my vids - atleast say I suck or something!!!! There are enough people on YT to comment. As far as unanswered posts - TG is something that is fairly new to the community and while I can do this move I don't feel comfortable enough giving advice on it. I feel like it is an advanced grip (although easier to hold) and I feel like this move can cause shoulder and wrist injury if not properly executed. I tried this grip too soon and am lucky to have survived it. I rely to heavily on it and I think mastering the basic handspring grip, then Chinese, then twisted grip makes more sense to me. I'd have to be in person with you to help you with it - it's to easy to misinterpret what someone writes and much harder to explain what your body is doing. Especially since youa re twisting your hand around the pole. I could more easily advise you on the deathlay than the handspring. Continue posting vids and I am glad that you have said something about this. It is an issue. Some people whether for better or worse get tons of comments where as others do not and for those who do not it does feel like a popularity contest - which is not what pole is about in the first place. There are certain people who could post a vid of them falling off the pole and get comments. If a vid is worth watching all the way through - it's worth commenting on. I also think commenting doesn't always have to be the "well done!" but can be constructive and helpful. I actually ask my friends what looks right and what doesn't because of bland comments - I never give anyone a bland well done - it's not fair to them - tell them what you liked, what got your attention, etc. It takes 5 mins to watch a vid and 30 secs to comment. I also advise against multiple postings and really long vids. I personally cannot stay captivated for that long - even with people like Pantera. I have really loooong vids so I get why people don't comment. I am so with you on this. Sometimes it seems like no matter what you do you cannot get feedback - and we thrive on feedback especially those who do not have classes close by and those who do not have pole buddies.
burne2ea · 4/30/2009
I am going to apologize right now, because I feel as though I am a consumer partly at fault for your emotions in this post. I have been following for about a month now, and I felt before as thought I really should just keep my lips zipped. I have considered many a time leaving comments, but thought I'd leave it to be said better by someone who could give an ounce of perspective (being as though I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my pole). Now I feel as though I should have spoken up regardless of prior experience and perspective, so I am sorry. I love your work, much as I love watching everyones videos. Regardless of what point in time or span of experience/knowledge the poster has to their own, I respect you all equally, and LOVE you all even more. Knowing that there are other people out there willing to bare *lol* themselves to the public, knowing full well what response they could potentially be provoking-- while I myself am dealing with the mere stigmatization of PURCHASING this particular piece of equipment-- creates a resounding sense of welcome for me here. Now, I have to agree-- I've been in the chat a few times and felt that members would rather discuss their technique than answer the questions of a newb who just wants to gain a little perspective before even receiving their pole, a little off, but then again, I am not about to take it as a low blow personally. The one person to attempt to hold convo or make comment to something I might have to say is going to mean more to me than an entire chatroom of persons responding meaninglessly to a question. Take it all with a grain of salt, and know that there are many of us out there that may not feel *worthy* of leaving comment even on your beautiful performance!!! I cannot know what to comment to help you to gain perspective or help you with constructive criticism, but know that I am watching always!! Every video that is posted. And I hope that none of this ever discourages you in the future from posting those videos, because I know that watching others evolve will eventually be equally as important as watching myself evolve. If you need to, do it for a while just for you. Continue to post, and know that there are those of us out there who aren't ready to re:. And from this post here on out, I will know to not bite my tongue-- I will post and bare it! Hell yeah woman!! Glad you spoke up, because this is the first time I feel I've actually included myself in this website, and I hope you realize how good it feels to be part of this amazing *resource* provided for us. Where else could you have this level of communication with others without being put down and called trash/slut/invaluable. I hope you know how much we appreciate and love you, and I apologize for taking up so much of this page! But I hope you also realize how much it took for me to say all this, so an ounce of frustration can go a long way, and you're not alone! I look forward to watching your videos in the future and hope that this thread has helped you to find your place in this community. I love you, and I don't even know you!! Emily xoxo, woman-- feel free to pm me anytime you like.
Caramel_Dlite · 4/30/2009
I'm sorry pole-twista. I'm guilty of being one of those people who watches your dances and doesn't comment on them. But I've seen a few of your dances and I think I have commented on one or two of them. But please don't think it's a popularity contest, I've even done that to Veena, including that California Girls video she mentioned. She owns this website and could easily delete my account (please don't Veena, I'm sorry for not commenting!) And I disagree with charley about 'bland' comments, it let's you know you're getting a reaction from your audience. But I don't leave comments on every single video I see because it's not in my habit to do so. If you look at the number of views any video gets, the number of comments on the video will always be significantly less than the views. charley... I don't think I've seen any of your videos. There's a lot of people posting videos and it's hard to keep up. But after I've posted this reply, I'm going to watch one of your videos, and I don't care how bland I come across, I'm still going to post a comment. I just can't promise I'll comment on every one of your videos 😕
Veena · 4/30/2009
OMG Caramel noooo my mention of the comments on my vid was just an example for her...I'm not mad in anyway!!!!!!! Just wanted to let her know it happens even to the owner of the place. *insert foot into mouth* LOL. Oh now I wish I wouldn't have said that! 😳 I agree with you Caramel about the comments, I appreciate the little ones as much as the big long ones. Its a way of letting the person know you saw it.
Caramel_Dlite · 4/30/2009
Oh no!!!! Sorry!!!!! I didn't think you were angry at people (like me) for not commenting. You explained perfectly well that EVERYONE has videos that doesn't draw a big response from people. I was just admitting I did that to you as well (yes the owner of the place!) Charley... I've been on your profile and I couldn't see any videos from you 🙁 but I did leave a comment on your profile about your pics and you are amazing 😉
Charley · 4/30/2009
Thank you Carmel! I don't have any vids here yet all of mine are on youtube. Pole Twista and I were talking about lack of feedback Friday so I kind of ranted a bit here. I do think that people who don't have others to bounce things off really need feedback on vids. I am really passionate about the community (here, other forums, youtube) sharing and caring about one another. I really would love to see more encouragement towards new posters and new pole dancers. This forum is good to new members but there are other places and youtube especially where it seems like you need to be Pantera to get feedback. I am not looking for compliments or anything like that but would like to talk about my vids the way I talk about others. Burn2ea - I think it's easy for newbies to get overshadowed a lot. There are a lot of questions that a lot of us have answered a million times so sometimes I notice we get short or ignore questions that have already been answered. But I think it's someone - just taking the time to acknowledge you that makes you feel on top of the world and let's you know you aren't alone, what is going through your head others have had similar thoughts/feelings. Feel free to PM me anytime with any questions you have =) With all of that being said - this forum is much more open than some others because people letting their real feelings being known would have caused drama but I think this is an awesome discussion because it makes us reflect on the way we encourage one another and makes us consider follow up. I totally understand not watching long vids or watching several vids from the same user ina short span of time. This helps us put together the best package to get the optimal feedback. This is a brave thread and really honest - I appreciate the honesty from everyone and the way the thread has been handled with integrity. And I appreciate all the feedback and comments I've gotten and if anyone adds me as a friend on youtube I'll go check out your vids and leave comments and feedback. (http://www.youtube.com/charleyisagirl) This really goes to show how important we are to one another. 🙂
pole-twista · 5/1/2009
omg! lol you guys are the best. i literally only have a minute bc dinners about to burn my house down to ashes, but i noticed a huge response to my post and i def want to give a much longer (you know me 😉 ) thanks but i wanted to atleast give a huge HUG and thanks to everyone! love you guys! gtg before i have to use my pole like a real fireman! thanks!!!! 🥂 ☀️ 🌸 😀 🌸
pole-twista · 5/1/2009
ok know i already gave a quick response, but was in a rush so... 📚 THANK YOU ALL BUNCHES!!! 🌸 🌸 🌸 i really aprreciated all the responses and support i got from everyone. i thought about not posting for about a split second, but than i thought i must not be the only 1 feeling this way, plus one of the things i love about the forum is that we can talk about things openly and honestly. it was also great to get some perspective on things. i do see how posting multiple vids in a day can make people less likely to watch them all or respond. someone mentioned that about jungle cats ( which yes by the way where is our JC?) vids and i found it rang true for me too. i watched his vids but when there were 3 or 4 at a time i didnt watch all and ewas less likely to comment bc of time. i just had so much stock piled while i wasnt able topost, but will def be more aware of that. i just wanted to thank everyone who responded and i have already noticed more responses and i really do appreciate them all. i also agree to a point about "generic" compliments like great vid! nice job! ect . it is nice to hear specifics about what you did or didnt like, but i personally appreciate any comment. i am just gratful that the person took the time to comment. thanks again for the encouragment, support, and love! love ya guys!!! **HUGS** ☀️
Former member · 5/4/2009
im really sorry that you feel this way camilla, i feel so bad! i wont repeat a lot of the things the girls already said, but they all had amazing advice and thoughts. i hope so much though that you wont base your worth on the amount of views that your videos get, or the number of comments- you've progressed so far and you're only gonna go up from here 🙂
Trena · 5/4/2009
Aw pole-twista I only just say your thread now. Im so sorry you felt that way! 🙁 Ive watched all your videos and you're really progressing so well and I cant wait to see some new videos from you when you're finished posting your old ones. 😀 I havent been as active here as Id like in the last couple of weeks cause Im so busy with work and wedding plans but hopefully I can catch up with everything soon! 🙂
Poledancefan · 5/7/2009
Pole-twista... I make an effort to watch vids from everyone I know on the forums. Sometimes people use different screen names and I am not current on all of them. For example I know tigiee is actually azriel...and so forth. Please PM me your screen name via my You-Tube name Poledancefan. I LOVE watching pole videos and try to make specific comments about moves. Joel