Hey there!
For poles, I have found that the Lil' Mynx works really well for me- I currently have the Veena pole, and I find it to be everything I want in a pole for dancing on! It has static and spin mode, adjusts to my ceiling height, and is a fantastic shade of purple. It can be a little over-sticky, but I consider that to be more of a "me" problem. Rarely, if ever, does anyone complain about a pole being "too grippy," most of us have issues gaining any grip at all sometimes!
I do know, though, that there are a lot of users of X-pole here, and a few who use Platinum Stages. They, as well as the Lil Mynx, are the "three big ones" in the pole manufacturing world. I haven't heard a lot from PS for a while, though. Most people are very "married to their brand," and can extol the virtues with great excitement... so, whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll have something to say about it, too!
Be very, very wary of fake poles (there are a lot of very dangerous fake X-poles out there), as well as poles that are quite cheap. Things like the Peek-a-boo pole, and the Carmen Electra pole, advertise being safe for inverted moves and advanced dancers, but are definitely NOT safe!!
We're trusting our body weight, our momentum, and in many ways, our safety and our health to these poles. So, keep that in mind!
As for lessons, I highly recommend the lessons here. Veena has an excellent way of explaining moves, and she's even here on the website and forums, if you have any questions! Also, I've found Jamilla DeVille's Art of Pole DVD set to be quite excellent. Her strength routines tend to kick my rear, but she does a fantastic job of explaining and demonstrating moves.
I also wanted to speak about your "extra 25 pounds." It sounds like you're being very harsh, and very judgmental about how you look, and that's not going to help you at all! Many of the ladies here on this site have discovered that it is not WEIGHT that determines how you look, either. Quite a few have started dancing, done really well, and discovered that the scale says they are heavier than they ever were before... but they are much smaller than they were, too! I've certainly found this to be true.
You sound like you lead an active life, having horses and having been in the Navy. I don't think this extra size is nearly as bad as you think it is!
Also, things (such as our metabolism) tends to change as we get older. I've had to make changes to my eating habits, as well as sleeping and working out, due to getting older (I'm creeping my way toward 29) and the changes we go through. This may simply be a change in how your body feels that it needs to work. It may be that it's preparing for a time when you may have children (whether you plan to, or not), and that extra fat is very necessary!
I hope that you have fun with Pole dancing, and find yourself very happy with the way you look!
