I decided I'm pole dance mentally challenged!

glitterhips started this discussion · 5/19/2009

sdhflsiehwer!!!!!!!! I had to type that nonsense instead of lots of obscenities because I am sooooo frustrated right now. So frustrated! I am totally stuck in a rut again and I have a huge long list of moves that I'm trying to work on and getting absolutely nowhere. These are times when I wish I had taken a class or lessons instead of being entirely self taught, so I could have someone point me in the right direction. Everyone here is awesome but I sadly can't invite you guys to come over and fix my hand placement for moves...although that would be lovely 🙂 It's so frustrating when people around here get new moves on the first day they try them or get them very short into their pole dancing career...like the superman *cough cough foxy* and the shoulder mount *cough cough shelby* I did the shoulder mount once SIX WEEKS AGO and havent been able to do it again since. SIX WEEKS! And I'm lifting heavier weights at the gym now than I was then so I know I'm stronger. It's like the stronger I get the crappier I am at pole dancing. I was talking to my boyfriend earlier and told him I am "pole dance mentally challenged" because it takes me soooo long to learn moves. I had a few friends over for a pole night the other day and none of them had ever done it before and they were doing spins that took me weeks to learn. I know that this would probably come easier for me if I was skinnier because I would have less weight to be throwing around. I'm supposed to be taking this aerial silk class in June and I'm having second thoughts because I'm not doing very well at poling lately and everyone in the pictures of the studio is like a flippin stick...I would definitely be the heaviest person there and I don't want people laughing at me. Umm if you hear a big crashing sound right now it's me throwing my pole out the window!

17 replies

Charley · 5/19/2009
You are not pole dance mentally challenged! Have you thought about taking pole lessons? Some studios will allow you to audition and they will place you within their program. There is a very good school in Chicago that I can recommend if you like. The instructor is fabulous. Consider that your friends might have picked up things faster because they had someone to walk them through and correct them each and every step of the way. When you have no feedback and input and correction it can take a lot longer. I think you are doing fabulous. You are a very good dancer and trickster. Each person has their own advantages and disadvantages walking up to the pole. Sometimes people bust advanced moves right away but can struggle with simpler moves. Moves like superman and shoiuldermount have several tutorials and threads about them across the vast pole universe. I think you are a talented dancer and very rounded dancer - you can dance, trick and flow the two together. You are very blessed to have both qualities. Sometimes it helps to shelve a move. Sometimes it a certain technique and it needs to be figured out (the knees is one, the iguana is another.) Sometimes you aren't engaging the proper muscles and you are just one step away. Do you take online lessons or have DVD's? I like to look at a lot of resources when I get stuck on a move and sometimes searching around I figure out what I need to do to achieve the move. Other times it's good to get a private lesson.
FridaSiren · 5/19/2009
aw sweetie dont give up on the silk class! it can only be good for you and your pole dancing! and who cares what the stickpins think anyway. go sexy lady! big hugs! 🌸 frida 🌸
rubberstarlet · 5/19/2009
shit your better then me! i'm to shy to post a vid haha. you'll get it man. I'm at a snail speed and cant even do spins right 🙁
adamseve · 5/19/2009
Glitter, I hate that you think that just because you're a tad bigger than a few of us that we're able to do more because we have less weight. Sweetie, I'm smaller than you, but even with lessons I'm not able to do half of what you're able to do. Don't you dare give up just because you're in a rut. The last time you were in a rut you took some time away from the pole and you were able to get a few moves. Maybe that's what you need this time aroud...time off the pole to think about the moves, look at a few DVDs to help with placement, etc. Sometimes we have to mentally learn the moves before we physically learn the moves. At least that's what I'm learning it takes for me! 😉 I think the biggest thing I've learned since I've been on this forum is to not take my inability to get ever move or trick like others have been able to do in short periods of time. I am making myself just enjoy my time on the pole and not be so darn hard on myself or compare myself with others. Take some time and just work on your transitions and floor work and I bet you'll get those moves and inverts you so desperately want to get. Hope this pep talk helps you out hun!
azriel · 5/19/2009
Pole dance challenged? really glitter. thank god most of us don't take your self-criticisms seriously, otherwise we'd really feel crappy about our own selves if we too considered that YOU are pole-challenged!!! And i don't care how long you've been pole-dancing- the speed at which one learns moves is not what makes a person a "good" pole dancer!! There are people who can learn moves really quickly- some of which don't perform them in proper form because of this. And others who can do tons of moves, but can't combine them in dance, can't put on a continuous performance or get through a whole song (like me), or have little stage presence. Everyone has different things that they need/want to work on to improve. You, on the other hand, have a sufficient amount of moves down, properly & nicely performed, and have the awesome ability to combine them together fluidly with dancing!! In my opinion, THAT'S what makes the best pole dancer. I'd trade you my shouldermount for your overall performance ability anyday!! Sounds to me like you're Reality-Checking challenged more than anything else!.... ummmm did you forget that you won at that amateur night???
Rouge_LAmour · 5/19/2009
Right Missy!! You sit down right there and get lectured by Aunty Rouge. You've seen my wedding photo's on Faceplant, so you know I'm not a stick. There's enough of us who pole who aren't skinny minnies and some of us do really well despite having that extra layer of cushioning. So, get it out of your head that it's being a fatty that's holding you back. Anyway, how many dancers would kill to have your flow and grace? I agree that you should perhaps check out a couple of schools and get some casual tuition to see if it's a technique thing, it may be a case of moving yourself slightly to get it working well. So missy, get that "fat old me" though pattern out of your brain and focus on technique. OK?!? My jandal* will reach all the way from New Zealand and I'm not afraid to use it!! * Obscure Pacific Island thing, threatening kids with the Jandal when they misbehave (I gif you da jandal, eh)
amcut · 5/19/2009
I agree on reality-check challenged! Seriously. Besides, I'd feel more bad for Lara... she got her shoulder mount like, a thousand years ago and hasn't seen it since. Seriously. A THOUSAND YEARS AGO. Not to mention there's a LOT of bad form out there. We're all guilty of it. But we're especially guilty of it when we get moves before our time. Especially leg hangs in the first month! I'm sorry, but those suckers are -ugly-. BUT. I do have to make commentary on meatiness. Being a fatty does make a teensie difference, I'd think! I don't think it means you can't do well- it just means that heavy backside that does so well in bed takes so much effort to lift! Then again, would the teddy be as easy without my knockers to hold me in place? Would you be as fooled by my not-splits were it not for my superthick thighs?
yogabeachbabe · 5/19/2009
Amcut, you are truly awesome!
SissyBuns · 5/19/2009
I know you're frustrated and apparently holding yourself at a very crazy fast learning standard, but I just went and checked out your videos and as s true beginner I want to say. "Are you serious?!" LOL!!! Glitter you are the shit! You got moves for days! I honestly plan on watching your videos to learn from. And as far as your size is concerned, I think maybe you do need to go to a couple of classes to see just how "normal" sized you are. I have seen much heavier girls than you do a whole lot of stuff that I could never imagine doing. I agree with an earlier post that mentioned shelving it. Give it a break and come back to it later. 🙂
Veena · 5/19/2009
My two suggestions, First stop comparing yourself to others!! Judge your progress by.....YOUR PROGRESS! Second, back off the weight training for now, and just focus on pole. If progressing and perfecting moves is what your goals are now, then that is what you should focus on. Don't worry, you will maintain the strength you had gained from weights. 💪 Some people are naturally talented at math, some can catch on to body movement quick. Others are lucky and can seem to master anything right brain or left brain, at lightning speed. I am NOT one of those people, my math, and spelling skills suck, always have, my brain just doesn't work that way, I'm a VERY visual person, I have to see a move in order to perform it. If I read about how to do a move it takes me much longer to figure out. Everyone learns differently. 🌸
Foxy_Rei · 5/20/2009
Oh Glitter... now I feel so bad for putting the superman into my last video... I actually thought about not putting it in there because I was worried I'd make you feel bad... now I feel absolutely horrible especially since you used that as a specific example. 😳 If it makes you feel any better Shelby's video had me feeling a little down, too, because I want that SM so bad! However I'm really happy for her that she got it. She deserves it. 🙂 We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. I may be a fast learner, but I know I don't have the proper technique and form half the time. Everyone learns at their own pace and in their own way like Veena said. So please don't take it personally if someone gets a move that you've been working on forever... Like I said in the description of my last video, even though you haven't gotten the superman yet, I still owe it to you for me getting it myself! And if I were rich I'd fly out there right now and we'd so have a pole jam and compare notes on moves.
lily · 5/20/2009
Oh Glitter! What everyone's saying is so true, something I always have to remind myself about pretty much everything in life.....you can't compare yourself to others, you just have to be YOU and do your best! It's so irresistible sometimes to think that way though....I know you've had trouble lately with the SM but I remember when you first got it I was so jealous! 😂 I was not even near getting it at that point and still have so far to go to get it really solid....but seriously if I determined my worth by comparing myself to others I might as well just blow my head off - there are SO many amazing people out there, I try to focus on being inspired by them rather than let those feelings of self-loathing set in. You crack me up though, about a week ago I was really sore and had not been practicing much so of course hadn't made much progress and I was telling myself I was pole retarded, your post made me laugh! 🙂 Of course neither of us are any such thing. ☀️ I also struggle with not having a professional instructor to help me, I feel like I would be so much farther along with a good program. Oh well, what do you do? You don't give up that's for sure! 🥂 If there's a move that you're stuck on, try something new and come back to it. I agree with Veena laying off the weights might be a good idea for a little while, when I get frustrated sometimes I'll just do really small workouts where I just do strength training on the pole, or just practice handstands or something.
Neke · 5/20/2009
I'm not one of those people who learns things super fast, but sometimes I do go to try a new move and I get it right away, and I'm like wtf? However, other moves take me forever. It took me a few weeks of doing the superman from the ground once a day and then another week of doing it in the air once a day before I could hold it without it hurting. So over a month for just one silly move, practicing it every day. The same went for other moves that hurt my skin like hell, like the teddy - I had to do it a lot before it stopped hurting. I don't go nuts on one move ... when there's something I've almost got, I just do it once or twice a day after work and it slowly gets better and better - when I can do it confidently but not neatly, I'll incorporate it into my stage show on a quiet night. Slowly it gets better... With the shoulder mount, I tried it twice months ago, got nowhere near it, and just forgot about it for a few months - I put it in my list of moves that are impossible. Then when i tried it again ages later, I got it almost on the first go. Sometimes it really helps to not only shelve something, but to totally forget about it - don't even stress yourself by thinking about it. After saying all that, I still can't do the stupid butterfly. I want to kill the butterfly. I haven't tried it again for a while and I'm not going to for a while yet, because I know I can't do it and it's just going to piss me off. One day I'll be able to do it though... and I'm not worrying about it until then 🙂 Just remember, different things are harder or easier for different people - You can do a lot of stuff that other people can't, just don't stress about it. Pole dancing is supposed to be fun 😀 Just do what you can do and occasionally try learning something else - you put yourself under too much pressure. I swear I'll come over there and kick you, we've been over this 😜
Jenn · 5/20/2009
And others who can do tons of moves, but can't combine them in dance, can't put on a continuous performance or get through a whole song (like me), or have little stage presence. Everyone has different things that they need/want to work on to improve. You, on the other hand, have a sufficient amount of moves down, properly & nicely performed, and have the awesome ability to combine them together fluidly with dancing!! In my opinion, THAT'S what makes the best pole dancer. I'd trade you my shouldermount for your overall performance ability anyday!! Sounds to me like you're Reality-Checking challenged more than anything else!.... ummmm did you forget that you won at that amateur night??? That is me you are talking about! I can't dance for shi** and can't even get thru a song without either running out of breath or having to wipe my pole down because my hands are so sweaty. Sure, I can do a lot of moves, but I can't string them together in a routine for the life of me. Glitter, you have amazing style to your dancing that I would gladly take if I could! Seriously, everyone is different, so it does no good to compare yourself to others. You are doing fine. If you are having trouble with a particular move, how about posting a clearl vid of your attempts and a description explaining exactly what you are having trouble with? Those of us that can do the move, will gladly share whatever knowledge we have to help you get there! Afterall, that is what this forum is about!
Rouge_LAmour · 5/21/2009
right, I'm grumpy, tired, freezing cold and have had a pretty insane week. More on that later.... therefore, punches will not be pulled and apologies if toes get trodden on but I have size 11 feet. Glitter sweetie, the only mental challenge you have right now is your body image. address that and you will find pole much easier to deal with. When I have a fat day ( or 2, 3, weeks on end, eternity...) pole is dreadful, I can't even do a fireman. When I'm feeling good about who I am and my looks mean nothing, it all comes together neatly. So yes, it is in the mind, but not quite the part where you thought it was. And as an amazing dancer I know, Polly, said to me (which did blow me away), she loved watching me dance because I had grace and flow and a lack of self consciousness. She wished she could do what I could. OMG, you should see how she dances. Jawdropping grace and strength, oozing sexiness. And that is pretty much how we see your dancing, graceful, strong and sexy. E-Cuddles and e-cupcakes until you get better. Pink, vegan, margarita ones
LondonCalling · 5/28/2009
After seeing all your vids, I totally have to disagree, I've been at it for 9 months now and I have got to be the most poletarded person I know. Granted I am working on a p.o.s. but I'm working on getting an X-Pole before I cut something I'll miss off while attempting to dance. *sigh* But cheer up, you've definitely one upped me at many things so if you feel bad because you cant get something you can always say at least I'm not Jayfo.
Trena · 5/30/2009
Glitter I can relate! I get really down when I see people accomplishing moves way faster than I ever did! I think it really depends on a lot of things though. I remember you saying in chat last night that you'd love to pole more often but you find yourself tired after work and you dont feel like a pole work out. Well have you ever thought that maybe the people who are getting these moves are practicing more often and for longer! Maybe Im wrong but that's how I try to make myself feel better! 😀 You dance SO well! Im constantly jealous when I watch your videos! You're so graceful and I love all your transitions! And I cant do spinny pole and you can! Hmph!! 😀 Love you xxx