Hubby vs Poling. Need Some Advice.

luckylindyhopper · 2010-09-15T20:18:57+00:00

So my husband confronted me last night about my pole dancing schedule. Right now I don't have my own pole, so I rely on classes and studio time to learn and practice. Unfortunately, most of the classes are in the evenings, when he is home. He pitched an immortal fit about my twice a week workout schedule at the studio. He says he misses me when I'm gone and prefers that I take classes during the day while he is at work, so we can spend the evenings together. Now, I do take day classes on Fridays, but some of the other instructors that I enjoy learning from only offer classes during weeknights. I tried to compromise, saying I would quit going on Mondays and Saturdays and just stick with Tuesday nights and Fridays during the day. I felt that was a fair compromise. Apparently, he didn't feel that way. He said that since I began level 2, I'm away more. He then proceeded to ask what the difference was between level 1 and level 2 and why I couldn't just stick to my old schedule. (Which is funny because the old schedule was Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Basically all that's changed is that I substituted Wednesdays for Mondays.) I told him that I was eager to learn new tricks and moves and that the best way to do that is to progress. Not to mention that level 1 classes don't challenge me as much anymore and I am a person who likes to be challenged. He said he doesn't see me competing or teaching so in his opinion there's no point in progressing in levels. I should just stick with level 1 forever. I should probably break here and mention that my hubby is a huge over achiever. Everything he does in life is working towards a goal. I love that about him, that he's driven like that, but I don't feel everything in life has to culminate to something momentous or huge. So I explained that I do this because it's fun. It makes me happy, gives me something to look forward to, helps keep me in shape, and has improved on my confidence. I told him that my happiness should be enough…

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PoleKitten81 · 10/3/2010
So I took two videos yesterday during practice at my studio. I brought them home, threw them on our big screen, and made my hubby sit down and watch. "I had no idea that's what you were doing. It's more like gymnastics. That's amazing!" He was really excited about me poling after seeing that. (He even said his favorite move was me climbing up and doing a pole sit. He said that he had no idea I had that much strength.) 🙂 So yeah, I think showing him what's been taking up my time really helped and now he seems to understand it better. Hi Jackib, I just read this and it's so great how his attitude changed the minute he saw you dance...i'm sure in no time once he starts seeing your progress he'll be pushing you out of the door for more classes...and who knows, with Christmas around the corner...maybe Santa will surprise you with a pole?! Your hubby will only benefit from your newly found strength and confidence! Polekitten
femalealert · 10/4/2010
I have to say it is definitely worth getting a pole at home. I bought a second hand pole for £50 and had my partner put it up in the bedroom. I still go to practice sessions at the weekend but he was a lot more interested in it once he saw what I was doing. He is trying to encourage me to put routines together and spots me when I am trying new moves. Maybe if you hubby can see you in action he will have a different opinion. Hope you have some luck with this situation- at least the pole is a good stress reliever. 🤔
Maria_T · 10/4/2010
Hi, Girl, my husband and your husband should hang out because he has the same issues with me pole dancing. We have had huge blow up fights over it and it makes it so difficult sometimes to concentrate on advancing in the pole dance world when he flips out if I try to enter comps, and I can't submit my vids on YT without him freaking out (he doesn't know about my SV acount, hehehehe). I think the pole in the home is a great idea but I understand you wanting to get out of the house to pole because there's nothing like the fun and comradery that comes with poling with other wonderful pole enthusiasts. I hope you will be able to find a balance or that he will become more open to the idea of you occassionally being out of the house doing a positive, creative, fun activity. BTW, I am so envious of those ladies who have supportive husbands that must be such a nice feeling to know your man has your back like that in pole dancing/fitness. Peace, Maria