First performance

Lucyr118 started this discussion · 10/21/2013

On Saturday I did my first pole dance performance. I was very excited to do it although quite scared as I'm not very confident in front of large crowds at all. I made a few mistakes throughout it; my butterfly handstand was very weak and i struggled to hold it, I couldn't grab my foot in my twisted ballerina and I kept being ahead of my music. I was quite disappointed with myself, mostly because my boyfriend came to see me and it was the first time he'd seen me do a routine but I feel like he wasn't very impressed by me compared to other people who were there. I really want to do more performances because I want to be better but now I have a fear that if I do one in future I am going to be just as nervous and also worried that things would go wrong again and I will mess up. Basically from all this I just wanted to know if anyone else had similar thoughts or feelings after their first performances or if anyone could give me advice for the future?

8 replies

portableninja · 10/21/2013
I just performed this weekend for the first time too. It is nerve wracking, so good for you for doing it at all! My situation is a little different from yours. 1. I didn't have a routine, just a few combos picked in advance. I improv'd the transitions and floorwork. Many other performers had highly choreographed routines and were practically having panic attacks before going on stage. So you are not alone in that. I wasn't as nervous because I was winging it. I wasn't polished as some of the other performers, but it also meant I wasn't focusing on my mistakes or being "on" with the music. 2. I didn't have anyone in the audience. The other dancers were cheering for me, and their friends/family too, but there was no one there specifically FOR me, like my husband, friends, parents, etc. I think I would have been a lot more nervous if the audience wasn't all relative strangers. I ended up doing OK. I haven't seen any video or photos yet, but the overall feedback from my fellow dancers was good. That said, they're a supportive bunch and never have anything bad to say about anyone! The important thing to remember is you are comparing yourself against A) other dancers and B) an idealized version of yourself. What you actually did on stage was probably beautiful and probably never could have lived up to B, because B is a fantasy. As far as A, everyone's journey is different and everyone has good days and bad days, even champion level dancers. Everyone remembers their own mistakes and not the successes. For the uneducated viewer, doing anything at all on a pole is reason to be awestruck. As for your boyfriend... it sounds like he's seen you dance before. My husband knows enough about pole dance now (thanks to me!) to know exactly what I'm struggling with. So he knows my tricky spots and can spot my mistakes (bad toe points, weird follow through, tricks not executed well). He wasn't at the performance and that may have helped me stay calm! Maybe your boyfriend saw you were disappointed and didn't know what to say. At the very least, you should keep performing and maybe try doing a freestyle next time if you're allowed. You might be surprised by what happens!
SpyralBound · 10/21/2013
What's the worst case scenario? You embarrass yourself in front of people? (Well, I mean, worst worst case is that you fall so bad that you actually hurt yourself, but we'll not go there - it seems your concerns are more along the 'What if I mess up?" lines.) Let go of perfectionism. Let go of "not good enough." Let go of competition and comparison against other dancers or yourself. Let go of expectations. Let go of self-criticisms and self-editing. Let go of hyperanalyzing everything. Let go of other people's opinions and approval. Just get up there and dance! And if you mess up, or fall, or miss your cues, or trip, or whatever, it's not like you have to quit pole dance forever and live in shame with a scarlet letter on your chest. There will always be more opportunities to perform and improve, and you'll get nothing but love from your fellow dancers (who have all been there before). Chances are, unless you really wipe out badly, the little flaws won't be nearly as apparent to your audience as they are to you, so don't let them worry you. Now for more practical, less inspirational advice: Get there early. REALLY early. Warm up and try to stay warmed up for the whole time that you're waiting for your turn. By the time you get to the stage, you'll be *eager* to perform. Nervous, yeah, but because you've been there forever just trying to keep yourself warmed up and stretched and everything, part of you will be very "Let's DO THIS already." At least, that's how it was for me when I performed last year. I got there probably 2 hours early, if not more, and by the time my turn was up, I was like FINALLY!!! And yeah I was nervous, especially since I was 2nd in the lineup behind a very well choreographed routine to "Cell Block Tango" from Chicago, but mostly I just wanted it behind me already.
portableninja · 10/21/2013
I posted this as my FB status today: First public pole dance performance this weekend went surprisingly well. Goals achieved: did not fall on head, roll ankle, or face plant. And added this: http://assets.amuniversal.com/e1b565205e07012ee3bf00163e41dd5b I'm being funny, but there's a grain of truth in keeping your expectations low. It lets you be impressed by how much you DO achieve. If the bar is set impossibly high, you have no choice but to be disappointed. I think it's important to learn how to "let go" for performances, as SpyralBound said. You can push yourself hard while you train, because that's when the magic really happens, but when it comes time to shine and enjoy the fruits of your work, try to relax and let it flow. I learned this during years of martial arts competitions. @SpyralBound I was pacing, doing sun salutations, even climbing and hanging upside down just to keep my back from seizing up. I was too busy to worry!
Faye Valentine · 10/21/2013
First of all, you should be extremely proud that you had the balls to get up on stage and dance your heart out. Who cares if you mess up a tiny bit? I bet 99% of those watching had no idea. Even the pros aren't perfect all of the time... check out this video of Felix Cane: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5G1jRJo9ek. At the end, she completely falls out of her spatchcock, and she STILL looks amazing! She plays it off like it was all part of the show. That would be my best advice - act like you meant to do whatever it was you did incorrectly. Keep smiling, strike a pose, whatever you have to do. Most people won't notice!
Hazi411 · 10/22/2013
OMG I love this thread - thank you. I did my first performance just over a week ago - as in, in front of paying members of the public! Didn't go as well as I would've liked (I had grip problems - but then again so did several of the other girls) but I have discovered, much to my surprise, that I absolutely loved it and can't wait to do it again! I am trying out a few different grip aids, and am determined to do better next time :-)
Lucyr118 · 10/22/2013
thanks guys :) yeah i think i did set my expectations too high, which is odd as i dont do this for anything else haha! I seen a video of my performance yesterday and it doesnt look as horrific as i had imagined which has made me feel better and your comments have made me realise that i am proud that i went out and did it as im not a very extrovert person. Ive also realised that even though my routine was quite basic this was a good thng for me personally as i had less things to worry over and the more routines i do and show people the more i can add to them. I am looking forward to doing a public performance but next time i will remember all these things!
Kate O · 10/23/2013
I picked endlessly at my first performance when I saw the video, I slipped out of my one handed attitude and went to the floor (the video is on here if you want to see what I mean). It was HIDEOUSLY obvious to me but others insist that they weren't sure if it was a slip or intentional, because I just tried to play it off as best as I could. Because it's yourself and you were nervous you're looking for flaws, whereas other people aren't, they're just enjoying it and being impressed by your moves. I'm sure you did great :D are you going to post the video here?
portableninja · 10/23/2013
I'm dreading the video of mine just because I've already seen some stills, and my toes were definitely not pointed in many of them! I know average people will be like "holy crap, you're upside down on a pole, that's insane!" but all I will see is my floppy feet! Grrr.