feeling like the juice is being sucked out of my life

Athena30 started this discussion · 9/19/2012

I've been reading through the threads and haven't actually started poling yet, just mostly gathering information and admiring dancers on youtube and on this forum before I have money saved up for lessons/pole. I wanted to ask the dancers on this forum a peculiar question related to dance and balance... I feel like now that I am growing older I have to really focus on more of the practical things of life. Career, taking demanding coursework for grad school, bills bills bills, what I'll be doing for retirement, fixing things up, cleaning, cooking...my friends around me are already talking about maybe buying a house, getting engaged, their careers, the fun has sort of died down ...I just feel like the juice is being sucked out of my life and being replaced with all responsibility and obligations. That's why I'm desperately looking for a way to balance it out otherwise I feel like a robot. For those of you with tons of responsibilities and obligations that do nothing to feel your soul, do you find that dancing has been able to offer balance in your life? (this can even include other types of dance if you participate in them). Are you able to focus better on the things you HAVE to do in your life now that you've incorporated something that feeds your inner needs? I feel like because I don't have a hobby at the moment it's making me slip on the obligations I need to take care of because it's draining. Does anyone understand what I'm talking about?

14 replies

Athena30 · 9/19/2012
that do nothing to feed*
echo234 · 9/20/2012
Poling feeds the mind and body. As the body heals and gets healthy so does the mind. I love it. I work, my kids are grown. My pole is always up so I can always use it even for a quick 5 minute pick me up work out. Sometimes I don't have time to pole for a few days but the body needs time to heal too. Ive just started a heavy load of training classes as well. I probably don't have nearly the responsibilities that you do. Poling always is something for me to look forward to, my body feels better, I'm more productive at work and when I have pole session or pole training they notice at work that something is different and say you look really good today what did you do lol Im grateful for my pole and the time I give it. Hope that helps a little.
Empty · 9/20/2012
Lets be friends! Cause seriously i know how you feel. For me dance was the thing that got me out of my bedroom when i was a teenager. I was a loner, an only child and i spent most of my life in my room dancing w/ head phones on for no one to see. My mom put me in dance class and it was the best thing she ever did. I got to do shows, meet friends, and have passion for something. I ate, slept, and breathed dance. Never missed a class and by the end i was one of the star pupils who practically ran the class. Even when the studio closed and i got older, i still came back to dance. I remember dancing randomly in the hallways in college with friends. Dance was and always will be my first love. Now I'm going to be 28 next week. I have a 5yr old daughter, a house and a hubby. I wake up some days and I'm like Whaaaaa? I never thought i would be here and time flew past. I'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mom but it gets really boring. I've gone back to my "hermit" ways and now that my daughter is in school I'm left with that "what now?" void. It was 3 months ago when i found pole. Pole resparked the dancer in me. It gives me the break i need during the week to do something for myself. Now I find myself choreographing pieces in my head just like i did when i was a kid. So in a way its like I get to be a kid again for one hour a week. Bonus is I got to get to know all these wonderful women on here and having that outlet is enough to keep me calmer when handling day to day situations. To sum it up, I was without a hobby and was just doing the "mom thing" for 5yrs. Having pole now is a breath of fresh air to a weary adult soul.
Athena30 · 9/20/2012
wow this thread got buried fast! Thank you ladies for sharing, they were the responses I needed to hear. LittleEngine "weary adult soul" is the perfect way to put it thanks for understanding, and echo it's promising to know it's made you more productive at work.
Sassypants · 9/20/2012
I feel similarly. I'm in my senior year of college, and beyond the fact that my courseload is more intense than ever, I also have the added stress of grad school considerations, money problems, entering into the real world, etc. You know what I mean! I started pole classes this summer, and my boyfriend cheated on me and dumped me after my first class. I was a total wreck, like lose-25-pounds-in-a-month sort of wreck. But I was always smiling for a while after pole class let out, so the timing worked out. Things would have been a lot worse if I didnt have the positivity that came from poling. I'm in level 2 classes now, and they meet on Mondays. It's weird, for the first time ever I'm excited for the weekend to be over so it can be Monday! Pole has definitely given me something to look forward to and that helps with all the other stress. I wouldn't say that I dance the stress away or anything like that, really, because I'm not that artistic with it yet, but having a hobby that has direction and measurable growth has definitely offset the rest of the stress. It makes it disappear if only for that hour and a half and I definitely feel mentally revitalized afterwards. Your mind needs a break! and pole fits the bill.
NightFall · 9/21/2012
OH my God YES, I relate to your story! I miss being all capricious and whimsical and unstructured and say-yes-to-anything and "jazz like". Now I have to cook/prepare ALL my meals, and carry all those meals with me in tupperware if i'm going to be on the move (allergies). Plus a lot of cleaning and laundry, and bills, bills BILLS, and budgeting for repairs and dealing with really unhelpful people within my compay and less than pleasant clients, and everything must be in google calendar or i will forget it and then go to bed early, wake up and do it all AGAIN. I feel like a marching band, not jazz anymore. But pole does give me back that spark. It's a way to express myself at the end of the day. It's something i think about in between emails. I'll sit there and think "oh, THAT song" and maybe "if i do ___ and then ___ maybe it'll look dancy" (it rarely does, but i persevere ;) ). I can be in the office listening to someone dressed much better than me and being paid a lot more than me giving try and blame me for something and think "my theighs can support my body weight on a 50mm chrome pole, so there!" and deal with them calmly. it gives me confidence. I'm not going to lie to you, it could be anything you do that's just for you. it could be music classes, another dance class, amature theatre or improv, scuab diving...but for me pole is something i can do at home in my own time without needing a dance partner and is much cheaper (just veena subscription for a year + one time payment of pole) than other stuff i'm interested in with would need travel or other people, or payment per lesson. xxxx
NightFall · 9/21/2012
OH my God YES, I relate to your story! I miss being all capricious and whimsical and unstructured and say-yes-to-anything and "jazz like". Now I have to cook/prepare ALL my meals, and carry all those meals with me in tupperware if i'm going to be on the move (allergies). Plus a lot of cleaning and laundry, and bills, bills BILLS, and budgeting for repairs and dealing with really unhelpful people within my compay and less than pleasant clients, and everything must be in google calendar or i will forget it and then go to bed early, wake up and do it all AGAIN. I feel like a marching band, not jazz anymore. But pole does give me back that spark. It's a way to express myself at the end of the day. It's something i think about in between emails. I'll sit there and think "oh, THAT song" and maybe "if i do ___ and then ___ maybe it'll look dancy" (it rarely does, but i persevere ;) ). I can be in the office listening to someone dressed much better than me and being paid a lot more than me giving try and blame me for something and think "my theighs can support my body weight on a 50mm chrome pole, so there!" and deal with them calmly. it gives me confidence. I'm not going to lie to you, it could be anything you do that's just for you. it could be music classes, another dance class, amature theatre or improv, scuab diving...but for me pole is something i can do at home in my own time without needing a dance partner and is much cheaper (just veena subscription for a year + one time payment of pole) than other stuff i'm interested in with would need travel or other people, or payment per lesson. xxxx
echo234 · 9/21/2012
There's just something about poling that gives you a will and desire. I've only been with Veena since mid August and barely started taking classes in the area just after that. I can totally relate with I want to do, but it doesn't look like! lololololol I don't care, I keep doing and keep trying and keep looking forward to the next time I pole. I'm so glad to be here with all you guys! Thanks
Athena30 · 9/21/2012
you guys hit the nail on the head--i was laughing and smiling through these posts (:
JennyBacardi · 9/22/2012
I absolutely know what you mean! Even me at 23 most of my friends have babies, are getting engaged, traveling...and what am i doing with my bf of 3 years? working and paying bills! Pole is a good way to escape, build your confidence in and out of the studio. It makes you feel accomplished in something new and exciting. It also gives you time for yourself and getting to meet woman just like you. Poling has changed my life in more ways that I could have ever imagined.
ShonaLancs · 9/23/2012
Reading this thread, I found myself thinking that pole is like a new boyfriend, your life gets better at the prospect of a message, call, date etc and suddenly all the mundane stuff isn't so bad. Except pole is better, because that feeling lasts, isn't dependent on anyone else reciprocating and unlike most relationships (excluding the keepers) its more likely to get better :-)
ShonaLancs · 9/23/2012
I also look forward to Monday's because it's my lesson day, anything that can make you look forward to Monday's has got to be damn good!
Athena30 · 9/23/2012
great point shona, I think the advantage that the dancers here have is that they don't have to place all their happiness on another person which in my experience is unsustainable anyway.
ginger78 · 9/24/2012
Pole is what saves my sanity. I was all work and no fun. Get up, go to gym, go to work, and repeat. I was bored with it all and getting restless. While surfing the internet I found a pole studio in Turlock. I took one sample class and was hooked. I now plan my vacation around how many extra pole classes I can fit in while I'm off work. I so look forward to my days off because I have pole class. I have made new friends and have a new lease on life. I am more in tune with the female side of me (I work in a man's world) and much happier than I've been in a long time. Pole allows you to just let it all out and lose yourself in the music and your sensual side. Pole makes me feel beautiful and feminine. 👸