Feeling deflated

Pinkie Pip started this discussion · 9/30/2013

I need a kick up the arse desperately I'm on my 6th week. I pole 2-3 times a week, one of them being in class, the other two at home, having a day or two break in between. I am struggling. I mean, I can do a few spins, just managed a transition in a spin this week. I've also just managed to climb but I still struggle to keep my strength enough to hold on without tearing myself apart. I hear from some people "oh I inverted by now", "I could do at 6 weeks" and I can't polish the moves I know enough. I can't seem to get enough momentum to get round the pole perfectly (what am I missing) People say it takes time. Conflicting advice huh? So another night of being unable to do a blooming baby curl (that's what they call it here , if you ladies have another name can you tell me?) because my back leg don't wanna even move and my hand grip is too tight... (This is it http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y4YJDwVedyM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dy4YJDwVedyM) .... I just dunno. I'm losing faith and I think people are expecting more of me that I just can't do. :( I haven't danced properly for ten years, and I've had two kids and I'm unfit now in an office job, so this can be a bit hard going! :( Help me :( I love all this so far but been reduced to tears

12 replies

Runemist34 · 9/30/2013
6 weeks into starting my pole journey, I didn't know about that spin... or that inverting on a pole was even a thing people did. I think that you need to take a step back and evaluate how you really feel about pole, and what you're looking to get out of it. I know that, for a while, all I wanted was to be "as good as someone else," whoever I chose at the time. Often, it was our "pole dance rockstars" like Felix Cane. Imagine how it felt to realize how difficult even a basic invert was, and to think "I'll never get there!" I went on like that for at least three years. I never did a basic invert, once. But, now, I realize that what I really want (and the reason I idolized those people so much) was strength and flexibility. I want to FEEL strong, sexy, flexible, as well as see myself achieve things I never thought I could. I'm doing this for ME, and anyone else's journey is just that: THEIR journey. I've done a basic invert, and have kept it up. My last workout, I did three good (for me) ones, which is more than I ever really do. I keep struggling with my unhappy knees, my lack of ability to actually find and/or engage my lats (I'm getting there!), and my extremely frustrating fear of being upside down. But I've made progress, and I'm proud of it. :) TL;DR, what you expect and want from you is far more important than what other people expect from you. Their saying "I inverted in six weeks" has NOTHING to do with you! Keep going at your pace, work on the things YOU like, and perfect to the point that you feel comfortable. Move on when you feel you're ready. Dance for yourself. Comparison to others will only hold you back.
teachtrinity · 9/30/2013
Fab post, not much more I can add just stick with it and don't compare!!! In the grand old scale of life 6 weeks is nothing at all, just remember every time you pole you are getting stronger and better regardless of what tricks you can do x
teachtrinity · 9/30/2013
Fab post, not much more I can add just stick with it and don't compare!!! In the grand old scale of life 6 weeks is nothing at all, just remember every time you pole you are getting stronger and better regardless of what tricks you can do x
Pinkie Pip · 9/30/2013
That's the kinda kick up the arse I was talking about girls ;) TY xxxx
SlowLearnerScottish · 9/30/2013
Please don't get disheartened! As my name suggests I'm a slow learning. We started inverting after maybe 6 months. It took my about 10 weeks to even get upside down and a year on I'm still developing it and making it stronger. I've been at it nearly 2 years and I still can't do 1-handed spins and I'm now only just confident enough to do a beginner's routine with transitions etc. Even though I can do more intermediate/advanced moves I don't have the stamina to string them together. Eventually you'll find types of moves you're good at and become a pro at them (I'm the thigh holds because I have big thighs!). I nearly quit so many times but just on the brink of quitting I'd get something new and it'd pull me back in. Chin up Swilks :) it's all for the fun and as everyone has said, don't compare yourself to others because once your repertoire gets bigger people will be looking to you as the gospel on certain moves! And you'll be better at teaching/guiding them because you struggled the same way they are! x
Veena · 9/30/2013
You mentioned you also pole sat home. Are you taking the lessons here? There is no reason to feel you should invert on a timeline. To have a long healthy pole life you want to build strenght first then worry about things like inverts. There are tons of beautiful thing you can do that do not require inverts :)
chemgoddess1 · 9/30/2013
I probably inverted 6 weeks in and proceeded to injure myself. Everybody progresses at their own rate and if you have never done any weight lifting or upper body exercises then the upper body moves are going to take time. Hell, I am close to 6 YEARS into poling and I still do not handspring!!
Lee lee · 9/30/2013
Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hate to see someone who is new (or even not) get upset because they can't do 'hard enough' moves. Remember that you are still building up strength and some day the moves that you are not able to do yet, will be a breeze. As a side note, it's interesting to read, but I really don't like discussions that ask how long it took someone to get into a particular move because we're all starting from different backgrounds and using different methods. Instead of being discouraged, try setting mini goals for yourself so that you have something to look forward to with your practices.
Phoenix Hunter · 10/1/2013
I've only been poling for 2months and I know how you feel. some days I struggle to even climb the pole or do a pole sit. I have been struggling for weeks to do a wrist sit. If you cant do the move you want to do, then do other strengthening moves that lead up to it , or give that move a break and work on something else. Doing knee tucks (from Veena's lessons) and her pole strengthening routine helped me to do an invert. my invert is not proper or graceful and I dont do it from a full standing position yet. I know my limits and I am not ready to do it from standing. I started practicing the position from lying on the floor with the pole in my arm pit. pull my legs up on to the pole with my body on the ground. I learned this in class to help prepare your muscle memory for inverts. I then after 7weeks of doing this was able to finally do an invert from sitting on the floor, lifting hips into a bridge in front of the pole and pulling myself into an invert. I cant really do a full standing invert so I will work on the sitting invert till I am strong enough. It really takes strength and technique to invert. work on everything that will prepare you for inverting like pole holds, knee tucks, etc. you WILL be able to do it one day. that being said, I still can not do a damn wrist sit!! find your weak spot and strengthen it. I think my arms are not strong enough for the wrist sit. gotta strengthen that and my wrists. Also, spins are not easy! I feel all my muscles and tendons pull in my wrist, shoulders, and arms when I do them. start slow, do spins like the fireman,I find it offers a little more support on my arms because I can hold with my legs as well.
Phoenix Hunter · 10/1/2013
I've only been poling for 2months and I know how you feel. some days I struggle to even climb the pole or do a pole sit. I have been struggling for weeks to do a wrist sit. If you cant do the move you want to do, then do other strengthening moves that lead up to it , or give that move a break and work on something else. Doing knee tucks (from Veena's lessons) and her pole strengthening routine helped me to do an invert. my invert is not proper or graceful and I dont do it from a full standing position yet. I know my limits and I am not ready to do it from standing. I started practicing the position from lying on the floor with the pole in my arm pit. pull my legs up on to the pole with my body on the ground. I learned this in class to help prepare your muscle memory for inverts. I then after 7weeks of doing this was able to finally do an invert from sitting on the floor, lifting hips into a bridge in front of the pole and pulling myself into an invert. I cant really do a full standing invert so I will work on the sitting invert till I am strong enough. It really takes strength and technique to invert. work on everything that will prepare you for inverting like pole holds, knee tucks, etc. you WILL be able to do it one day. that being said, I still can not do a damn wrist sit!! find your weak spot and strengthen it. I think my arms are not strong enough for the wrist sit. gotta strengthen that and my wrists. Also, spins are not easy! I feel all my muscles and tendons pull in my wrist, shoulders, and arms when I do them. start slow, do spins like the fireman,I find it offers a little more support on my arms because I can hold with my legs as well.
Phoenix Hunter · 10/1/2013
Also, I see people inverting in class who are very new and I have to say that most of them probably should NOT be inverting. yes they can flail their legs up on to the pole but it doesnt look like they have safe technique and it doesnt look pretty. I see alot of bad and unsafe technique from girls that are new in class. You dont want to be that girl.
LorLynn · 10/1/2013
I love this discussion! Yes, it takes time. I have been weight training for the past 5 years and I still struggle at times with the strength factor (I've been poling for the past 2 months). The days when I nail a new move are the best! But the days when I feel stagnant are not the best (I don't believe in "good" and "bad" days in life...some days are just better than others!). If you are stuck on learning a new spin or a new move, then just move onto something else and give it a shot a few days later. It might click at that point. One thing to keep in mind is to be careful to not injure yourself. There are moves that I see other people do that are absolutely amazing, but I already know that I am not even going to attempt them due to potential injury. Poling is a personal journey and there is no law that says that you have to check off of a list and master every move. Do what feels comfortable and what feels right to you, and everything else will flow and flow and flow! 🌸