Hey there!
I think there are a lot of underlying things to this, which might be helpful to look at a little closer.
First of all, the question of "What is sexy"? I mean, for many of us, sexiness is often playing to the social image of sexy- usually a lot of flowing hair and long legs and low tops, graceful moves, and not a whole lot of smiling or "fun." Personally, while I absolutely love to see this type of "sexy" (many of my favourite dancers are russian, who do this style SO WELL), it doesn't have to be everyone's kind of sexy. Out here, the pole dance studio usually has it's "sexy" style informed by a lot of sass and cheekiness! The women are encourages to have fun, to tease and play with their "audience" (even if you don't have one) and to slap their own butts, because why not?
In other words... Sexy can be created in so many ways, with so many different influences! I often "find my sexiness" by taking my time, slowing things down, and simply enjoying how my body feels and looks. Sometimes, it's just putting on moisturizer after shaving my legs. I've been running for two years, my legs have drastically shifted shape, and I love them. That's all it really takes.
Secondly, and sometimes more importantly... ARE YOU COMPARING YOURSELF?!
In all caps because it's very, very important to think about!!
I actually learned this lesson here, on Studio Veena, and I am reminded of it every single day, doing almost every single thing in my life. Yoga? Yes, even though I do it at home with Youtube videos. Running? Hell yes. Work? Yep. Dancing? You betcha! Writing? Sometimes too much.
So, let me put this very directly: Please, do NOT compare yourself, to ANYONE. EVER.
There are so many dancers out there, and none of them are like each other. Veena doesn't dance like Alethea Austin, and Eva Bembo doesn't dance like Dirdy Birdy. They are all beautiful, wonderful, sexy, and alive women with their own strengths, and their own styles. If they compared themselves to any of the others, though... Well, maybe they would see themselves come up short! But, that kind of behaviour could be true, all the way around the circle. It could just be one big demoralizing circle of comparison.
Instead, set your bar against yourself. Did you do better today than you did yesterday? Did you achieve a particular goal, such as feeling really good about how sexy that one angle of your leg looked that one time, and see a glimpse of what could be? Did you get up and do the thing you intended to do today, whether that be dancing and working hard, or having an awesome rest day and stretching out those sore, abused muscles?
You are incomparable to any other person. You are beautiful simply because you are you. And, the more YOU that you can be, the more awesome and sexy you will be.
No, you can't be Veena. Just the same as I can't be Felix Cane. But, we can look up to them and feel like we want to emulate them, and then just... modify things to be more "us" instead of so "them."
And finally, yes, practicing movements that are super foreign to you can feel very, very silly. It's a lot like suddenly trying to get into affirmations if all you ever do is tell yourself bad things: it feels weird, and insincere. Just keep at it, and eventually, it will become your new "normal"!
