Dumb strip club question...

AllysonKendal started this discussion · 2/2/2015

Is there someone at the clubs who wipes down the poles, or is cleaning the poles a thing? The reason I ask is because someone asked me about how I wipe down the poles or something about shining it or cleaning it (ugh I can't remember how he worded it)... and I'm pretty sure it was meant as an insult (because he also mentioned something the next day about having people come to the studio and throwing dollars at us as we practice). It was a non-pole friends husband (and she was there for all the comments). He wasn't hitting on me. Also we don't get along generally, I feel like he always makes digs at me, and I'm pretty sure he was trying to put me down. But at the moment I was confused and shy'ed away from confrontation... I've never been to a strip clubs so I just kind of answered uncomfortably that I clean the pole with alcohol in a spray bottle. Anyway I'm wondering if it's actually a thing, or if I'm just sensitive to his jerkiness and he was actually asking how I cleaned the pole (though I can't imagine him actually being interested in anything I have to say... I feel like even his compliments are backhanded)

17 replies

Wcox · 2/2/2015
I wish that people were not so ignorant. I'm sorry that this guy made you feel this way. No matter how he meant it, what matters is how it made you feel. I spend so much time educating people that I am not a stripper and I do this for fitness. Regardless if it's for fitness or if someone is a stripper, it requires so much strength, balance, practice...and the list goes on. I personally hate sports and fitness but I suffer from fibromyalgia and this is my escape and helps me greatly deal with my pain. I am reluctant to tell my doctors about what I do so I say I'm doing "yoga." I wish there were no stigma around our amazing sport and that people would take the time to educate themselves before speaking. Personally, I just think he is a jerk. Keep poling and doing what you love. Do what makes you happy :)
Cherished · 2/2/2015
I guess it varies from club to club. At most clubs I've seen girls dance one after another and occassionally one will wipe down the pole before she begins her stage show. At one club they had a man wipe the pole each time before the next dancer came out. Also with passive aggressive types like your friend's husband I usually calmly tell people like that what I think the true aim of their comment/question is. I make sure to keep it short and simple and stay calm because people like this love to try and rile someone up underhandedly and then play it off as if the other person is being too emotional and overreacting over nothing.
grayeyes · 2/2/2015
Allyson, he sounds like a perfect ass. I'm sure you are correct that he doesn't give a rat's ass how the poles are cleaned and was making some kind of rude comment. I have lots of ideas about perfectly unacceptable things to do or say to this imbecile but since it's your friend's husband, I'll suggest this tidbit from the Miss Manners column in the newspaper. She says whenever someone asks an inappropriate question or simply one you don't want to answer, a great response is, "why do you want to know?" Or "why do you ask?" Love this response as it buys you time if they genuinely have a reasonable question and if they're just being nosy or an ass it forces them to explain themselves. As always, people's responses to pole, particularly their uncomfortable responses or sleazy responses, reveal far more about them than they do about us.
AllysonKendal · 2/2/2015
Thanks guys. I really really don't get his sense of humor at all... or whatever you want to call it. I remember us driving to restaurant and talking about food, then I said something about having vegetarian options and he said "I didn't know you don't eat meat?!" and I was like "Really? Yeah I don't eat most meat. I eat fish though sometimes... Blah Blah Blah" Explaining myself. And then later someone filled me in that he was making fun of me, I guess I mention it too much :( Anyway. I felt really stupid. That kind of how I felt after I explained about the alcohol and cleaning the poles.. then realized, I think he is making fun of me.. and I think it was reenforced when he said the things about throwing dollars. Anyway I try to just brush it off. I don't REALLY care... I think I was also kind of curious if he was making fun of me in that instance or not. I realized I don't know very much about strip clubs.
grayeyes · 2/2/2015
He sounds like a tool. One possibility that crosses my mind is that he is attracted to you and enjoys teasing you like a 12-year-old pulling your pigtails. The other thought is that he is a disrespectful ass. I hope you don't spend much time around him. I have a friend's husband who is a little like that--makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like he's always waiting for me to say something stupid so he can make fun of me. It's unpleasant. I don't get it because my friend is lovely but he's just not my cup of tea.
Phoenix Hunter · 2/2/2015
Sometimes you just need to tell people like that to go f&@k themselves . Your friend sucks for letting her husband treat you like that.
AllysonKendal · 2/2/2015
Yeah, well. She is actually family. I don't know why I didn't include that. I guess it felt too much like airing dirty laundry... I've seen him say things to her that I thought were extremely rude and I've seen him yell at waitress. I don't think he really respects women. I try and stay out of it, because I have said things once or twice when they were dating and either she gets defensive or thinks I'm jealous. Then I become the enemy. So I just usually tolerate him. I don't seem the that often and its better to keep the peace. If she isn't bothered by him, then good for her, she doesn't seem troubled by his comments and she seems genuinely happy. I do mean that. I would be offended if he said certain things to me, but she brushes them off and giggles. Maybe I'm more sensitive. If I ever really thought there was emotional or physical harm coming to her I wouldn't bite my tongue.. but I think he is just rude and sexist, which isn't a crime, its a character flaw. I'm sure not everyone would like my husband. It happens. Maybe someone would look at our relationship and not agree with everything we say to each other (I'm a loud Jersey girl, so I yell!) Anyway. I was honestly curious if wiping down the poles was a reference I missed. It sounds vaguely sexual, but I don't think he'd dream of saying something like that to me. I have to assume it was a strip club thing. Or maybe it was nothing. But I just wanted to see. Maybe I should look in the urban dictionary! I just feel really dumb when I don't get the joke.
PinkPhoenix · 2/2/2015
Well I would have to be there to hear the tone, but you answered him just fine. With Alcohol and a towel. I know at most strip clubs the girl that has finished her set wipes down the pole for the next girl and if the next girl wants to wipe it down one more time then that's fine. At pole shows like with BeSpun they have girls come out and wipe it down for them. I'm wondering if that dude was meaning it in a sexual tone. I had friend's of friends say to me, "Hey I got a pole you can clean, polish, buff (whatever)". I don't pay them any mind, my time is to valuable to put up with their duche-iness. Also I personally (this is just me) would inform your friend about how inappropriate he is being and that it made you super uneasy. Also I would probably not hang with that friend if her husband is going to be around. He is extremely disrespectful. I would ask him a question to embarrass the hell out of him. If he asks about the pole I would have said "Why you asking are you looking for a job"? For the comment of throwing dollars during practice, I would have said, "Save it, you need all you have to buy you some class". I can be just as quick with the wit.
Cherished · 2/2/2015
Lol Cantetinza@save it... @Allyson Don't feel dumb feel happy you're not with such a miserable person. You don't get his "jokes" because you are not a vindictive person who makes comments with the intent to belittle someone else.
purplepolkadotgirl39269 · 2/2/2015
Hey, real live stripper in the wild here, weighing in: Depends on the club, all the clubs I've worked at just leave a clean bar towel or three and a bottle of rubbing alcohol by the stage and if you want it it's there. There's a fairly strong correlation between how seriously a girl wipes the pole down and how much pole work she does. If you ever go on a strip club safari to observe poleing strippers in our natural habitat, but you don't want to just stare at the stage all night like a creeper waiting for something cool to happen, watch each girl's pole cleaning technique when she first walks on stage. Re: your douche-in-law, he likely was going for one of two things. First is the heroically original "so you're good at rubbing poles, eh?" (mentioned elsewhere in this thread) which only gets more disgusting the less single the dudebro who said it is. In the context presented here, this basically earns permanent Creepy Uncle status. Option two is that he was trying to make an even more unfunny "joke" about poles getting "dirty" from "those slutty pole dancing girls" rubbing their ladyparts all over them. Because when I think of body parts I want to use to hold my weight up with the magic of friction, the most sensitive part of my body is obviously the very first thing that comes to mind. But as you ladies know, cleaning the pole is to get rid of oils so as to avoid broken necks. Basically dude is a creep. There are guys who have been to strip clubs and managed to *gasp* maintain whatever basic human decency they had outside the club whilst interacting with the people working there. Then there's this guy. $100 says he tried to bang Every. Last. Stripper. that went near his table at his bachelor party. Probably didn't even try to grossly solicit them first.
octaviaalice8732 · 2/2/2015
I don't know if this would help or not, but I've found that pretending not to know what people are talking about when they say stupid things is a wonderful way to keep them from saying something stupid, because then they have to explain themselves. In plain words. People like that rely on your intelligence to get their point across, even while they insult it. It takes some practice, but if you can train yourself to smile innocently and say "whatever do you mean" whenever you choose to, it's another weapon in your arsenal.
deb5600 · 2/2/2015
How about this: tell him he'd be a good pole buffer and ask him if he's looking for work!
M Darling · 2/2/2015
I have worked in clubs where there is a spray bottle filled with alcohol and also a towel behind the stage entrance, each girl would come out and wipe the pole down right before starting her performance. I work at a club now where the stage and poles are cleaned about every hour, but the cleaner/towel is there in case the girls want to wipe the pole down before performing.
majikmyke · 2/3/2015
This is a really cool thread. You would be surprised by how many males possess very limited verbal skills. I like the comments all of you offer on asking "what do you mean" so that he has to re-phrase the question, which buys you time to find out what he's really about. When other guys find out that I pole dance, I too, get awkward/stupid/idiotic questions. In reference to the original question asked in this thread - the guy is extremely immature! A more visually graphic term is that he is a douche. Being that he is the husband of a friend, she should be challenging him to grow-up and stop acting like an asshole! If there's any other male pole dancers at SV I'm sure that they will agree with me. Love all of your comments and input.
RoMo · 2/3/2015
You have nothing to be ashamed of, answering him like that. I agree with Cantentinza - giving a stupid question a flat out, honest answer is fine. Octaviaalice's advice of just ignoring his is also a legit way to handle such situations. At some clubs the girls wipe the poles down before their set. I've seen some girls incorporate this into their routine, using the time to do a "French maid" routine... Other gals do it mechanically, get it over with and start dancing. BTW, at clubs, girls tend to do a lot more floor work and spins... lets "tricks" as it not only leaves bruises but also it's discouraged at lots of clubs. Less time to "collect the cash"... @Allyson - Yelling at waiters is NOT ok! Like Dave Barry said "If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person." Here's a nice article - CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about character - http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-04-14-ceos-waiter-rule_x.htm
usatoday30.usatoday.comUSATODAY.com - CEOs say how you treat a waiter can predict a lot about characterIt's hard to get a dozen CEOs to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with the Waiter Rule: You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter.
Marie Hale · 2/3/2015
There are no dumb questions... just kidding. There are but yours is not one of them and neither are you, even if sometimes you feel like you 'don't get the joke'. There are some jokes that are not worth getting, and also some people not worth your answer or explanation. I'm glad you asked. We all have these DB's in our lives in one way or another and it's a great feeling to get to the point of knowing exactly how to handle them. Which is- to not. Your time is better spent elsewhere. Anywhere else. Like even maybe at a club watching your bad ass sisters kill it on their alcohol swabbed, shiny clean pole. Xo.
MD5677 · 2/16/2015
Thanks for your question. Having never been to a strip club, I wondered if and how the poles were cleaned. As for the guy - he is not worth any of our mental energy.