Dress Code in a Pole Studio?
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Jacki C ·
Slightly off topic, but, I have actually found that since I first started poling, my glutes have grown tremendously, thus shorts that covered as a beginner don't cover as much now. Which I am fine with because I pole at home and I like the grip. :)
Sorry Luvlee I will never try a pair of Mika. I just can't afford them number 1, and number 2 I have looked at them when they are at the Mid west pole comp and the largest size STILL wouldn't cover my butt and would end up getting eaten by my butt. Don't get me wrong I love my butt. I try for beginner's classes to wear my longest shorts. They go several inches down my legs. By the end of class they are booty shorts. But my website shows me in sexy clothes and high heels.
I can see a studio owner implementing a dress code for the instructors (no booty or tata hanging out) but, as an instructor of all levels of pole, I do not approve of students being asked to cover up if they have a little cheek hanging out. Some of yall who are blessed (or cursed?) with some of what I call "trunk junk" cant find shorts that work with pole while keeping all of your cheeks hidden. Ive had basic level students who wear sports bra and shorts (even though at basic side contact is not necessary) and intermediate students who prefer a tank and never take off their shirt. In my opinon, students should be allowed to wear what they wish, so long as vag isnt poping out to say hi and their nipples remain covered. It is kind of unprofessional (in my opinion) for an instructor to have massive booty (more than say 40%) or cleavage hanging out while teaching, but you shouldnt have to ask your students to cover up as long a their private parts stay private. It may make them self consious, and while there is a huge debate/divide over sport and fitness vs. sexy dance, the one thing we can ALL agree on is that pole is about the individual expressing themselves and finding a way to love and accept themselves for who and what they are while they stive to better themselves in a challenging and motivating way through pole.
Well... I am not fully agreed with dress code rule but I have to confess that I chose my pole class school with more modest and less sexy oriented atmosphere in it. It was rather a turnoff when I went to the trial class at the other pole studio where most girls were wearing underwear-like booties. (One of the girls was wearing exact same underwear of same brand of what I was wearing underneath of my sports shorts. No kidding!) Not that I care about what other people say about what I wear or what polers wear. But I think if you are poling, you are already sexy, sensual and all needless to say the great strength. Don't feel like trying more to look sexier by wearing underwear instead of minimally showy shorts to do poling.
For the love of God. If I wanted to be a part of a community that was going to tell me how to dress right down to the number of centimeters my gluteal folds are permitted to be "exposed", I would have been a damn gymnast. I would have been been an ice skater. I would have been a swimmer. No, see I became a pole dancer because it gave me freedom- freedom to be who I am in the studio and out, freedom to explore my dance through things like dressing up or down, playing with heels, collars,ties, boots, hoodies and whatever else. Pole is subversive. It's subversive because it challenges the traditional ideas of what a woman can and cannot be, should and should not do when it comes to her body. When you have a woman who is smart, articulate and perhaps works as an engineer by day (like Nadia Sharif) and then who puts on high heels, and dances out the sexy at night you have a woman who is actively breaking down stereotypes. Why yes, I can be smart and sexy and be public about both. Why no, dancing in high heels on a pole does not make me a dumb, desperate woman. And yes, I am CHOOSING to dance like this, to move like this, to DRESS like this because it pleases me. And I really don't care what you think. Because what you think is a reflection of your own values and issues. I'm at peace with my choices, and who I am. This is what infuriates me the most about these kinds of "rules" about dress and bodies and exposure. Underlying all of it is a thinly veiled expression of shaming. And shame is what I shed when I started pole dancing. The words "appropriate" and "professional" come up a lot in this thread in reference to clothing. I spend my days working in a place where I have to be appropriate and professional. The last thing I want to do is walk into my studio at the end of the day and get the same rigamarole. As far as getting the mainstream to accept pole I truly don't think pole will go anywhere if it whitewashes the sexy out of it. Why should we change in order to be taken more seriously? If you change yourself to be accepted by another person, what happens? You lose the respect of that person and you lose your identity. That same dynamic exists on a macro level as well. Yes, pole is athletic and it gets you fit an its beautiful and yes it has many faces. yes competitions and studios need rules for safety among other things. But forcing pole dancers to look or act or present a certain way is just squeezing the very soul right out of pole culture.
I've been fascinated by this thread, but wonder: does the "dress as skimpy as you like" philosophy for sexy classes apply to men as well?
I think it's perfectly fine for men to dress skimpy and pole. I guess small short-shorts (speedo type) and no shirt is about as skimpy as a man could go without getting into thong territory. I would be ok with a man wearing that to class. or if he wanted to wear heels and bikini! I thinks it perfectly ok
Cocoa0 ·
Dear Claire (ThePoleStory), I f&$@ing LOVE you. That is all :)
Onga01 ·
This actually upsets me. Pole dancing is what it is. No matter how many dress codes you implement or banning of certain "racy" moves it ain't ever going to change. I like the sexual freedom, I like to dress a little racy while dancing and the studio is one of the few places you can with out being judged. Sorry, but if I were a student at studio this strict I would ask for my money back and leave.
vamp79 ·
I can't believe that any studio would actually implement a dress code, pretty ridiculous in my opinion. If a particular student is consistently exposing her private parts then maybe speaking to that student would be a better option. Like other members have already mentioned, unless part of their vagina is showing then I don't see a problem. I have shown the edge of my nipple while inverting by mistake and I wasn't even wearing anything skimpy. One of the other students kindly pointed it out and I proceded to cover it. No big deal, it's not like they had never seen a nipple before :/. After that day I simply made sure that my tank top was placed a little higher right before going upside down. I am only into pole because of the sexiness that it brings out in me, and have stopped going to some instructors because of the lack of sassy ness in their classes/routines.. Don't get me wrong I love the tricks and fitness part of it as well but it is not appealing to me unless you throw in the sexy moves.
litlbit ·
I can not believe all the bashing regarding a "Dress Code". I have supported all types of pole, and it really saddens me to read such mean things within the community. This is the last post I will make, as I don't feel the need to insult, put down, or otherwise try to make someone do things or think the way I do. A dress code in my studio is for the SAFETY of the students and the instructors! ie; YOU will not learn a pole sit in capris or yoga pants, because skin contact is essential. You will NOT learn crucifix or a climb in them, because skin contact is essential. I will NOT allow you to invert in pants and a tee shirt because skin contact is essential. The women that come to my studio are self conscious, have been intimidated at gyms, and other fitness classes. They DO NOT want to bare their skin, therefore it is necessary to tell them before they EVER start a 1st class, that this is the very least they need to be able to do, is wear shorts, a sports bra and tank top if they choose to learn these things. The majority of women that take classes are larger, it is my job and the instructors to get them to the point of being comfortable in their own skin, once we have accomplished that and helped them raise their self esteem, to let them know they ARE beautiful just the way they are, they will come into their own. It is my job to help them on that journey, not to force them to do something they are not ready for. That's the compassion that comes with the territory. I CARE very much for these women and RESPECT their choices for THEMSELVES, not what I might believe is right for them. I have never had a problem with cheeky shorts, Veena has performed at my studio and is one of the sexiest, sensual polers I know. Peace :)
litlbit, did you even read this forum? No one is complaining that they are being told to wear too much? with all due respect I think it's a little different saying to a student "you must have skin contact on your thighs to grip the pole for your safety" as opposed to "your shorts must be this many cm long and cover this percentage of your skin so everyone else feels comfortable looking at you". I feel that everyone should only be concerned with what they're wearing. Sometimes I wear shorts to class that show a little bit of butt crease. I only ever wear a sports bra / shorts combo. Other girls in my class always wear a singlet. The point is, everyone should feel comfortable wearing whatever they damn well feel like, within reason. If there is a particular student practically being naked and flashing their bits all over the place, then that's a different story and they should be spoken to in private.
Charley ·
I have had a share of very unique experiences in regards to this that I will share. To the question: Should a studio have a dress code? Yes. We need to have at least minimal standards by which everyone can easily abide by, for example - everyone needs to cover their Vajajay. To some this seems OBVIOUS - but it's not. ALL below stories are true and infact actually happened to me Case Study 1: Teaching a Group Class on Saturday Morning I was teaching at a dance studio (non--pole) on weekends. This studio was a talent studio so they would offer classes in dance, acting, singing, etc. On weekends the owner would hold auditions in the office and I would teach pole class in the front studio. All classes were group classes. One Saturday morning in mid summer, booking was light, I looked and saw only 1 student in class. It was a gorgeous day so instead of cancelling, I chose to hold the class anyway. Keep in mind this is GROUP class not a private and this student had no idea who would be in the class - she got lucky it was just me. When my student shows up she shows up with a man and asks if he can stay. She's the only one in the class - I have no issue with this but I let her know this is a GROUP class and I am BENDING the rules as I never let people observe but since it's just her today it's fine. I ask her to get changed so we can begin. Right in front of me she takes her clothes off and she's standing in a bra and g-string. I ask if she brought pole clothes, she says no, this is what she poles in. SIGH! I hear the door main door open and in walks a mother and her young son, the young boy will be auditioning today for a singing class. Awesome! I ask the student to step aside so the young boy doesn't see her as not to offend anyone, she does, boy goes back to the office. I had only set up one pole because it was one student so here I am wiping the pole every single time this girls gets down. I'm sorry but - GSTRINGS don't cover everything, I am NOT comfortable with this. I am nice enough to go along, teach her, nicely tell her she has to wear shorts and that had there been anyone else signed up she would have had to do the class in her pants. She agrees to bring shorts next time and leave the dude at home. Next week, larger class, she comes to class strips to her G-string and I have to ask her to put her pants back on. She gets angry because this means she will not be able to work on anything besides floor and spins. She decries racism and a whole lot of other things including that I am discriminating against her for being a stripper. I am not. I am simply asking that all orifices be completely covered. I don't care how cheeky her shorts are but I do not find GSTRINGS to be sanitary. Case Study 2: By dressing sexy I am making my students feel badly about themselves. I was once told that I dressed too sexy for sexy class. I felt shamed and hurt. I was teaching sexy class, thus needed my sexy clothes to get into character to better take my students down their own journey of sensual dance. Bear in mind the class had sexy in the title. I was told students were afraid they'd seem something they shouldn't, which is ludicrous, I always wore cheek boy shorts or bathing suit bottoms and a thong under. I was asked to teach the sexy class in shorts with a minimum of a 1 inch inseam. I freaked out and refused. I then began opening my class with a statement about my attire. "This is Sexy class, as your instructor, I need to feel sexy to teach sexy. I encourage each and everyone of you to come to class dressed in something that makes you feel sexy whether it be a long night gown, a bikini, your favorite club top, your man's shirt, whatever makes you feel sexy and join me in exploring this part ourselves." I was so hurt and shamed with that conversation, to be told my body made others feel badly about themselves because I was "in better shape than many of your students" hurt my heart, i've NEVER EVER purposely done ANYTHING to make anyone feel badly about their body. I spent each and every class complimenting my students and working with them to increase their self esteem. This incident certainly left a scar on me. The point was for everyone to have fun getting their sexy on, not judge the instructor. I had never felt so ashamed of myself. Case Study 3: I could giver her a Brazilian - wait - she doesn't need one as far as I can tell I had a friend/student who was VERY sexy. So much, I love her. We were all taking a workshop one day my other friend pointed out my sexy friend doing the jade, I was like yeah nice split...she goes NO! look! I did. EEK! Too tiny of a crotch on those shorts. Here's the thing, I have a vagina, I'm not super offended by seeing a peak of someone vagina - who cares. What I came to learn later was all of this girls shorts were like that and she didn't wear a thong with them so all of her splits moves gave us a great look and her very hairless vagina (I kind of wanted to know if it was laser, wax or shaving because seriously, it looked really smooth - no I'm not a lesbian - just saying.) Some girls who also noticed became uncomfortable with sharing a pole with her just because of the sanitary issue. No one was insinuating she was dirty or anything else but we just felt a little icky, kinda like when someone sneezes then tries to touch you. BTW, I absolutely love this girl and her rebellious vajajay. So I as a general rule ask students to bring shorts to class, I tell them they cannot take class in a G-string and most people giggle, but seriously I've had more than one occasion where someone didn't have shorts and thought they could trick out on the pole in a G-String. I always recommend doing the vagina monster check, if you think your shorts aren't covering EVERYTHING then get down on the floor and spread 'em and look. A good thong under your shorts will also help. I'm also not going to sit here and pretend that my Vajajay hasn't ever slipped out because it has, not in front of students in a class where I am teaching vagina monsters (because I do the check before class)but in pole moves like tail sit - the fabric get pulled or whatever. In a co-ed class I do think we should have some sort of standard for pole wear because we are mixing genders and we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. In all girl classes - honestly, who cares? BE SANITARY. Just don't let your naked vagina touch the pole and we're cool. We all have them and sometimes the crotch of the shorts isn't as wide as we thought, I'm an instructor, I spot advanced moves, I have had so many body parts in my face it isn't even funny. To students: don't be judgy. You're going to a POLE class. Don't get surprised or offended when you take a sexy class and your instructor looks like a stripper, that's kind of the point. If you SEE something that makes you uncomfortable it's pretty likely you're seeing it accidentally - discreetly tell whom ever it is so they can ADJUST and not have everyone gossiping about them behind their back. Trust me - I'd want to be told. On a side note but related, my agent Kat is my super bestie because when I'm on my period and I've bled through my shorts - she always tells me so I can change and clean up - and I have issue with it because I can't wear tampons. We are ALL women, let's stop being judgmental and focus on what's SANITARY. No one is purposely making you look at their vagina. *except maybe case study 1? lol*
Saphyre ·
I just read every single word of this Charley! I was seriously laughing out loud, but it is all so true! I think sanitary is the key word here. Even when I wear my tiny VS boy shorts, you can be guaranteed I am wearing a thong underneath! The only exception was my professional photo shoot. I cleaned the pole myself when I was finished. Thanks for sharing! - Susan
Amazing reading, thanks Charley! You always have something interesting to stick in thanks to your long experience (how many years?). It was funny and a little unbelievable, so yeah, anything can obviously happen!
Kyrsten ·
I can see rules against straight up thongs, underwear as bottoms and things like string bikinis as tops, but I don't see why a little cheek or cleavage is a problem... Usually in my beginner classes I will wear a tank and t-shirt and some of my less revealing shorts as usually the students are shyer and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and it seems like most of our instructors do the same (save the cheekier stuff for the "sexy" classes and advanced classes). My studio is definitely more on the sexy side of pole though. I have a story too - we had 2 girls come for class one day who were exotic dancers wanting to learn doubles tricks for a show. They come from the dressing room and one is wearing some yoga shorts and a sports bra and the other girl came out in a full-on thong and bra. Her friend was horrified like "girl, where are your shorts??" The other girl looked bewildered and said "these are my shorts!" and looked to me for approval. I just laughed and said "cheeks are ok" because it was only other instructors in that class but I think it definitely would have made some people uncomfortable. Trying to take away heels and regulate inseam length is going a little too far for me, though...
Charley, that was interesting to read. haha! :) I think you could write a whole book about vaginas in class and I would read it.
I have basic studio rules for dress code. For our group fitness classes we recommend a sports bra, tank or tee shirt (optional - especially for upper level classes where more skin contact is needed), and form fitting shorts. We do not allow students to wear only underwear (panties, thongs, or g-strings) or bras or string bikini tops. I do not regulate what students wear to private lessons or to our events. It's all about corsets, booty shorts, and sexy attire when us grown up ladies come out to play! I personally prefer to wear booty shorts (or swimsuit bottoms) with a sports bra and leg warmers. Some days I wear a top, and sometimes I don't. It's not about flaunting my body or trying to intimidate students, I want them to know that I am simply comfortable in my skin and I want them to feel safe and know that I won't be judging them if they choose to bare some skin too. Pole class is a place to celebrate our bodies and to be empowered to strip down if we choose! I love pole because it allows us to be fit, feminine and sexy!
Charley ·
I think at the end of the day to each studio it's own. You must find what works for you in all ways. If you think that a dress code will somehow bring in more people then do it! Do what you believe in and what will make your business successful! Instructors - It's very important for you to make up your mind about such policies and figure out what you believe, in regards to pole. Don't work someplace that doesn't fall inline with your message or your thoughts. I know it's hard to walk away! I've done it, and in quite an ugly fashion I might add, but once tempers simmer down you can always go back and fix your relationship with the owner - I know because I did that as well. You can have a great professional relationship even if you walked away. It's important to be working and teaching in a way that makes you authentic and gives you the opportunity to provide the best for your clients. If a dress code policy is a hindrance to that (for me I know it would be) then you have to choose: Stay and follow the rules or Leave and figure something else out. Conversely if not having such a policy in place is making you feel uncomfortable - for example: too many vagina's that you don't wish to see - then you need to talk to the owner and maybe implement something or again walk away. We as independent contractors must always bear in mind the burden of the business in on the owner not us. No matter how much work you may be doing, you may even feel like you are running the whole show, and even if you are the reality is the success or failure rests on the person paying the bills. If it's a failure you won't be paying the money to get out of debt the owner will be. So we should all be very careful in putting down certain policies and recognize no one is attempting to implement something to destroy but to build. With that said. I personally believe that sexy clothing where appropriate is an important step in all pole dancers journey - we all may not come to it at the same time. Some may pole dance for a few years before embracing the sensual side and choosing to experiment with sexy clothing. We all will at some point. Another finding I've observed through teaching sexy classes is that while students used to look absolutely horrified when I'd make my grand entrance is 7 inch heels and lingerie and welcome them for class, in those 45 minutes I not only taught them how to FEEL sexy but I forced them to take the first step for real self confidence. I presented them with an image that makes them uncomfortable, an image they may hate, how often, despite how enlightened we may be have we hated on the "sexy" girl. How many times have we assumed since she's dressing in a very sexy way that she's self absorbed or mean? How many times have we simply not given her a chance because we are comparing ourselves to HER and in doing that we begin to HATE her, feeling like we cannot live up to her image? I know that I have and I'm not proud but competition is human nature. By dressing in a way that is provocative but being the teacher, the giver, the one who empowers and raises up while wearing lingerie and 7 inch heels, I'm teaching the girls to look at themselves, to see themselves as the sexy, sensual creatures they are. Often times girls would say things like "it looks sexy when you do it, but not on me" and my reply would be - "it's the shoes, their magic!" or something silly. Then I would make them move slow, look and see how sexy they are, I'd pick something very special about their movement - like the way their long legs push their butt out in a sexy arch or how how sexy their booty is when they do figure 8's or how graceful they step around the pole. When we can let go of what other women do, act or look like, when we STOP comparing, we understand that beauty is something embodied by every woman, when we can let go of our cattiness and accept in other women, we ourselves are on a path to TRULY OWNING OUR SEXY. After only 45 minutes most women would sign up again to take the class. Within 45 minutes a lot of girls would ask "Where do you get your outfits?" "Should I bring shoes?" "Is it easier with shoes?" I'd always share my favorite places like Bad Kitty and local stores that sell "stripper" shoes and most of them the next week would come in with a pair of heels!!! Realize just 45 minutes ago they were looking at me in HORROR - utter HORROR. I could see the judgment on their face, I could see and often hear them discussing how "slutty" I looked, how it's not what they signed up for. In just 45 minutes we all became FRIENDS and are sharing places to get lingerie! In just 45 minutes everyone was laughing and having a great time and connecting. In 50 minutes I am showing pictures of my pole wear when I started, the long tank tops the long SKORTS, I can share with them my story - how I was a professional with a job and how pole changed my life. In one week most girls cam in with heels and funky shorts. I could see them embracing THEIR sexy and THEIR style. I would be so amused with the new clothes - everything from zebra print to holographic hot pants to light up "stripper" shoes to monokini's to plunging necklines. Each woman started to play with different pieces and you could see the transformation. To me, clothing is VERY powerful in how we perceive it, how we wear it and how judge people in it. So just something to think about in regards to dress codes. If you're not into sexy - disregard this whole, verbose post. lol!
Thank you all for your thoughts! I've always thought that at the end of the day it's the owner's decision how to run their studio. That being said, it's my decision if I'm going to teach at a studio that doesn't fit with how I like to pole. In addition to the dress code issue there have been a number of other things that have come together to convince me that my vision is just too different from the vision the studio wants to promote so I have stopped teaching there. There are no hard feelings and the owners were very understanding. I love the fitness side of pole but I also love the sexy side and I will fit better in a studio that has a better balance of the two.
I know I'm way late to this party. I was just reading other blogs on the Internet and ran into Claire's Pole Story blog post and link to this thread. Dress codes and rules that limit how we express our bodies and sexuality through dance are not for me. If you don't like my body or my artistic expression don't look. I do not want to be with people that need this kind of control over my life.
MD5677 ·
So sad that so many women are ashamed of breasts, nipples, and vaginas. I am not taking a stand on the code. An owner is free to make that decision. It was just sad reading through this thread that so many women were or would be offended to see these parts of our own bodies. perhaps I am too jaded or forward thinking, but just how different could your part look from mine? For the most part a boob is a boob is a boob. How offensive could it possibly be to see something that a million other women have-including me! That said, I agree that from a sanitary and safety perspective, the amount and type of clothing should be a consideration.
I would never go to a stuck in the 20's dance studio. I need my skin to dance don't ask me to cover more up then a bikini covers. hell families go to the beach and see that much skin!
I just read your update (and the original post again) and I wouldn't be comfortable with the dress code there, either. I always liked to pole in bikini bottoms at the studio if I felt like it, and am so glad there was never a 'rule' against it (in fact it never even crossed my mind). Love the sexy side!!
I'm all for the minimal dress code too; looks great, feels great. But will women in class be uncomfortable (or--just as bad--amused) if it's a *man* who is wearing something tiny?
