Does everyone go through this??

polergirl started this discussion · 11/29/2009

Urgh. I have a friend who lives several hundred miles away and who has recently begun taking pole lessons. She loves it, but after each and every lesson, I have to hear the litany of her frustrations. "Why aren't we doing this yet?"......."Why haven't they let us try that yet?"......."So and so was allowed to go upside down at her studio in the second week, why aren't we doing that yet?" I get it. I really, really get it. New dancers see these wonderful tricks on youtube or wherever, and want to try them all right. now. I was lucky enough that I didn't go through that to the same extent. I was a gymnast; I know what strength it takes to hold oneself in a given way, and I know that the strength doesn't come overnight, but rather through building into it. Even people who are quite strong should learn basic mechanics before they attempt certain pole tricks. I believe that oh so passionately. End rant!

5 replies

poledanceromance · 11/29/2009
I totally understand why it's frustrating to have that one certain friend who will chew your ear off with complaints. It's always a little maddening to find yourself being bugged by a friend. That's just plain stressful! That said, I think we all go through a little of what she's going through, yes. And those of us without any other kind of athletic or dance background go through it even more so. Personally, this is the first sport I've ever stuck with and really tried to push myself at and get myself all-around healthy and strong for. So I definitely sustained my fair share of minor strains at first trying to do things that were simply outside my grasp. I remember the first weeks of poling came with a LOT of complaining about being a weakling and really feeling like that pole was a brick wall. But one day I strapped on my megaheels and decided to make myself feel sexy no matter what. It worked, it changed my attitude, and I'm glad I didn't give up. So give her time. I think she's only frustrated because she hasn't gotten a chance yet to find what about her, personally as a pole dancer, she loves about herself on the pole. But that moment does happen and it's the moment you start giving yourself sexy eyes in the mirror and getting really intrigued by what you're watching your body do 😉
Runemist34 · 11/30/2009
I think you have a great point, Poledanceromance. It isn't all about the awesome tricks, it's about getting the courage to give yourself the sexy eyes, and to understand yourself in that capacity, as a sexy person, outside of the bedroom and away from a partner. Honestly, I like doing the moves that aren't climbing. I've never gone upside down (I don't have the strength) and I've found fulfillment in learning spins, poses, twists and shimmies and understanding how my body works. This next month, I think, will be great for me...a whole month off, and all the time and wanting to pole dance till I can't stand up anymore! But, I digress. Perhaps tell your friend about the strength thing, and perhaps even indicate that inversions aren't everything, and a huge part of performance and the process of dancing is not those tricks...it's the transitions, the walks, the attitude you can convey by sheer body language. I think that's one of the biggest reasons why most of us love it so much 😉
Layla Duvay · 11/30/2009
Runey and PDR: AMEN!! Tell it, sisters!! 🥂
SissyBuns · 11/30/2009
I'd try to explain to her how important it is to have a strong foundation before you move on to the "cool" looking stuff. Learning basic spins and holds all helps to build up strength for the imtermediate and advanced stuff. All in due time... 😀
SandyBrown · 12/23/2009
Some girlfriends and I attended a pole dance showcase in Atlanta. It's always great to see other pole students (it helps you to see how other studios operate as well), check out some new moves, and see other women embrace the art of pole dancing. The women who performed ranged in having completed a 6-week level up to having been there for 18 weeks. What I noticed about the women is that, regardless of how long they had been taking classes, they all looked the same: they weren't smooth, lacked, transitions, and looked a little awkward coming out of the most basic of spins up to the inversions they were able to do. They lacked the performance aspect, and they lacked the sex appeal. Then again, I realize that not all studios have a focus on those key aspects. I'm glad that the studio I started off with in Atlanta taught me how to make smooth transitions, establish eye contact with myself in the mirror, how to walk, and all the other key ingredients that I think make a sexy and confident pole dancer. I'm also glad that the studio I'm with in NYC now has taken what I've learned and has perfected it and challenged me with new spins, poses, inversions, to make myself an well-rounded pole dancer.

Does *everyone* go through this??

5 replies

Does everyone go through this??