Dealing with a nervous partner - help?

HilaryKate aka LolaSlaytor · 2014-04-03T17:07:35+00:00

Hey Veeners! My doubles partner has loads of anxiety. Performance anxiety is the one that I'm looking for advice with here. We have a performance this weekend (it's her third performance ever). I grew up competing in music festivals and so I'm pretty accustomed to the fact that no performance will (or can) ever be perfect and that it's all pretty insignificant in the long run as long as you enjoy yourself. I try to be supportive - I've had anxiety issues in the past and I know that it's not an easy thing. But I'm finding that I'm running out of patience sometimes. If she feels like she makes any mistake during our performance, I know she'll be really really upset. It happened last year during our first performance and it seemed like there was nothing I could say to make her feel better... kind of made it hard to enjoy the rest of the event because I was worried that she was so stressed and upset. In the days and weeks leading up to this performance, she is already getting super anxious about it and I just want to shake her and tell her that it DOESN'T MATTER and it's all for fun! I know it might seem like I'm being kind of selfish here, and maybe I am, but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can try to support her without losing my patience? I just want to see her relax, enjoy herself and grow from the process of preparing and performing. Nothing is ever perfect - that's what makes life interesting!

Replies page 2 of 2. Back to the start of the discussion

32 replies · page 2 of 2

↑ Show earlier replies (page 1)

Runemist34 · 4/4/2014
"I also think it is very selfish of someone to let their mental illness ruin someone else's good time and require others to walk on eggshells around them. You should not have to walk on eggshells around someone when you are being reasonable and not being abusive. It is also very manipulative to constantly demand reassurance from others. that person will get the reassurance they want but it doesn't last very long." I am no longer interested in this conversation, and possibly this entire community. I do not feel right even reading this.
Sierra Taye · 4/5/2014
I hope goes well with the performance, do let us know how it went!
HilaryKate aka LolaSlaytor · 4/6/2014
Our performance was last night and I think overall, it went really well! She felt a lot better about it afterwards than she did after our performance last year :) Couple of minor things that didn't go quite as planned but the audience really seemed to love it and I'm pretty happy about it! I'll get around to posting video soon
Phoenix Hunter · 4/6/2014
That's great! glad it went well. maybe this success will help build her confidence. :)
Anonyma · 4/7/2014
how about a straight shot of vodka for next time that will help !!
HilaryKate aka LolaSlaytor · 4/21/2014
I've just posted the video of our performance. My partner really rocked it! She was totally doll-like in her movements, and I think she did way better than me! I don't think any of our tension showed and she said she had a lot more fun this year than last. Here's the link: https://www.studioveena.com/videos/view/53559ecd-f434-4b06-8f69-2f780a9aa0eb PS. Olivia - that would be my first thing to try to but she doesn't drink! haha
Lee lee · 4/21/2014
I just watched it. It was quite enjoyable and without this thread, I would have never realized that you had difficulties preparing for the performance. How did she feel afterwards?