Jacquiespinz started this discussion ·
Hey all, How many of you dance or put on some moves for your significant other? I find myself working out on the pole because i love it, but sometimes i forget that he may like it too. I know that probably sounds silly. Do any of you put on 'shows' for your significant other?
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Well I did a little "demo" for him and he clapped and said "very nice.....uh the game is almost over, so Im headed downstairs so u can keep on dancing!" lol. That is fine with me, I do it becuz I like it.
I'm a really shy girl, it may not be obvious when you look at my video here lol. But i usually don't dance in front of my man, my ex that i've been 10 years with saw me a few time but never sexy stuff. The new bf (6 months) i stop any trick i do when he he see me. Just don't don't why. I have made a few tricks in front of him one night but was so happy he got back to watching hockey lol. I think it's because pole is my ''me'' time and i like to keep it that way.
Dwiizie ·
I've done dances, but he can't follow club rules :( No touching the dancers!! lol. Seriously. I will be focused on something, or even working out on the yoga swing, and he will come poke me or touch my butt or something, and I try not to yell at him, but when you're stretching, or inverted using specific muscles, it can be really dangerous to lose focus because someone came up behind you and poked you. Its caused some arguments for sure. So I haven't poled with him around in a long time, but I showed him my video I made yesterday, and he was completely shocked at how much I have progressed. He said I looked like I levitated when I did a chair spin, that made me feel good. He said seeing me on film was different than when I performed for him live. Sometimes he tries to act like he's not paying attention so I won't feel shy, but it just makes me mad because I think he's not watching, which MUST mean I'm boring and unattractive lol, but then he says "I didn't want to stare and make you uncomfortable!!!" "I invited you in here to stare jeeeeeeze!!" Its so silly and hilarious how it just doesn't work for us in the least. Maybe one day. SMH
My BF doesn't really care for pole dancing. He does like seeing me move because it turns him on, but all the tricks just bore him. So if I dance while he's around he will either watch me for about 30 seconds and then lose intrest, or immedeiately get all handsy, which is another way to say "I don't care for the dance", I think. So I just don't dance for him.
I was surprised to learn how disinterested my boyfriend (of 10 years) was in my pole dancing. But he doesn't even go to strip clubs, so it makes sense that my fully clothed, non-sexual tricks and spins don't interest him. He seems more impressed with the athleticism some moves require rather than aroused by them. All in all, he is more concerned with his music.
My problem is the opposite of LillyBilly - my husband thinks the tricks are cool, but is totally bored by floorwork, transitions and dance. I have to beg him to watch my videos, and I see his eyes glaze over when I start talking pole. But that's OK, his hobby is brewing beer and he has to beg me to taste his beers, and I politely nod and smile when he tells me about all the new recipes he's dreaming up. It's a fair trade-off. I've thought about putting on an actual show for him but am discouraged by his lack of interest in the dancing part (I can't just bust out mad tricks!), and I also don't think he'd follow 'club rules.' Seducing this man is pointless, he's "always on" and ready to rock-and-roll if I so much as wink at him. I don't think I could get him to sit still for even a short dance - a few body waves into it, he'd be grabbing me off my feet and carrying me to the bedroom. It's kind of sad because pole has really put me in touch with my own sexiness and I'd like to display that for him, but eh, not really worth getting upset over. I just dance by myself for an imaginary Russell Crowe and it all works out just fine for everyone, haha.
It's as if in a relationship everything is "figured out" already, and it's impossible to create tension... I dance best for strangers :)
My husband is interested in what I do, but I don't think strict "pole" is any more interesting to him than the other general fitness I do. He can see past the pole and look at it as something no different from yoga or calisthenics. We are both working on getting fitter and stronger together and the pole conversations usually revolve around technical details, exercise science, workout planning, etc. And while I have no dance background, it's sometimes fun to chat about the dance basics I've been learning through pole... flexibility, toe pointing, extension, etc. The difference comes when it stops being pole fitness and dance and becomes more like burlesque - time to break out the clear heels, thongs, and booty shakes. My husband and I have been to plenty of strip clubs together, so I'm aware of how it all works. I've even considered the line of work and still do occasionally, but I always talk myself out of it because I know that not everyone at the club would be as polite, well behaved, and respectful as my husband is! (He's usually one of the most popular people at a club because he's friendly, tips generously, treats the dancers like people, and isn't a creep.) The problem is actually me, not him. When I dance in an erotic way, I sometimes start to feel insecure because I don't think I'm as sexy as the strippers I've seen. It's one thing to be able to do strength moves and crazy tricks, but another to have stage presence and charm, and I think I lack both. I once danced a song for him "stripper style." I wore shoes, did a lot of sexy floorwork, and I removed clothing as I went. He really enjoyed it (obviously!) but I can't say I enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. I was really self conscious about how I looked and whether I was doing everything "right" based on the strippers I've seen. I think confidence is key, and I don't have enough in myself yet. I feel like I need to work on the sexy aspect of dance separately from strength building and tricks. I love watching Veena's more sexy performance videos, as well as some of the users on this site who seem to really have that certain something. I want to have it too!
@portableninja I'm often told I dance sexy. I figure that the the best way to go about it is not to try be sexy, but rather - just think about sex.
I rarely perform for my hubby. Not because I don't want to, I just forget! He does ask from time to time for a "show" but by the time I finish practice, I am too tired to put on a show. Not only that but most of my practices are purely hardcore straight to business poling not too much sexy or freestyle going on. Also, I struggle with transitions, combos and flow (always have) but I really want to work on all that in 2013. Perhaps doing a special dance for my hubby 1-2x a month will help with that and make him happy as well. The great thing about my hubby though is that since I've been poling he really "gets" how much strength and hardwork goes into it now and when we go places where there are polers he and I call off the move names and if it is a cool combo we discuss the POC's, so I can try it at home lol
I have also felt reeeeeeaaaaaaaaallly awkward about dancing for my fiance. I have never done it, though he has asked. He has seen me work out, which as others have mentioned, is not particularly hot, with the grunting, shrieking, and general workout vibe. He has also watched me perform in a show. While I like that pole makes me feel sensual, I definitely did not start pole to get that feeling. I started pole because I was too afraid to show up to any other dance class, and it seemed that pole didn't have as many rules. I suppose its just been a happy accident that liking to explore moving sensually did come along the way. I am a really private person, and even dancing/freestyling in my pole classes when I first started was really traumatic for me. It took a really long time to be ok with other people watching me. I suppose in the back of my mind, I would be worried about being self-concious the entire time, when I feel like it should be fun and exciting to perform for him. When I perform for other people, there's a facade in place. I suppose when I think about performing for him, I wouldn't necessarily want to rely on that facade. Guess there is only one way to find out! :)
@portableninja, I can relate! One time while we were getting frisky, he wanted me to sorta dance for him, not on the pole but more like a lap dance, and I turned into a laughing mess because I felt so, so awkward and not sexy. And he's like "You can dance all sexy up on the pole, why not this?" I couldn't explain it. Maybe it's the "all eyes on me" factor (even if there's just 2 eyes), suddenly I'm under a spotlight. And the whole point is to impress him, so there's another layer of performance anxiety - and my natural reaction to that is to laugh like an idiot. Then just a few nights ago, the same opportunity came up, and I felt that instant fear of awkward non-sexiness come up again, and consciously said to myself "Oh come on just DO IT." Ironically, I sort of had to pretend he wasn't there and keep my back turned or eyes closed for some of it before I started feeling comfortable. (Corby, that's probably the Facade thing you're talking about.) Funny how pole can build you up and make you feel so confident and rockstar sexy, and then all it takes is the right/wrong person asking you for a dance and suddenly all that confidence drains out into a puddle on the floor and you're a self-conscious beginner again.
Poling does NOT equal lap dancing! People always seem to make that assumption. A guy friend of a friend saw me do a couple pole tricks and then developed this fantasy of me giving him a lapdance before... well you can imagine. And I laugh not just at the absurdity of the idea of screwing this guy, but also at the thought of me giving a lap dance. I wouldn't have the first idea of where to start!
CapFeb ·
I prefer lap dances for someone over apole dance. But I also know what I'm doing. If I had a guy for Valentine's, I would definitely do half pole half layup dance :) you know. and stuff later
Wanted to add while I said that I wouldn't mind giving a pole dance for my hubby there is a drawback to it for me, which some of the other ladies mentioned...I feel awkward, subconsious and clumsy when I do put on a show for him. I get a little stage fright. Now when performing for strangers it's not as bad maybe it's because theres a chance that if I mess up, I won't ever see those people again and/or most of the time strangers don't really catch your mess ups, they are just in awe that you are a "regular woman/girl next door" who can do tricks on the pole lol whereas my hubby gives me the critical eye when I am dancing for him and will sometimes say straighten that leg, slow down, relax, stop holding your breath etc, which makes me even more nervous lol
