Conquering fear after fall

Catsanctuary177663 started this discussion · 3/25/2016

Hey all! I had a fall a month ago which resulted in a concussion. I was a figure skater so am used to injuries but this happened with a move I am comfortable with and happened so suddenly I had no opportunity to break my fall. I didn't even know what happened until I was on the floor. Now I am dismayed to find I have fear, especially when practicing at home. It was the fact that it happened doing a move I love, with no warning. I was in a superman, hanging out, felt nothing amiss, and then boom, down I went on my head. I sought the necessary medical attention, had a CT scan and I'm fine physically. My instructors are not at all concerned, said it will go away and are not making a big deal of it, which I appreciate. I love pole, especially being upside down, and normally have no fear of anything. Now am afraid to do laybacks and simple stuff. I know that I need to watch my thoughts and have been trying to do so, but can anyone share their stories and journey back? Thanks so much!

26 replies

Anzia · 3/25/2016
I had almost exactly the same thing last year. I did a Hello Boys to Venus Sit, both of which were easy moves for me. I'd had a virus and had felt tired all evening in class. I went into the Venus Sit, had a split second of surprise when both my hands lost energy to hold the pole, and next thing I landed on my head on the floor. I had concussion for 4 days after, and went back into the beginner group for ages and had to be spotted for every move because I was so shocked and my confidence was knocked. A year later and I'm still not where I was. I'm still working one level lower in class, and I use grip aid more and ask for a spotter more. My confidence is coming back slowly but still nowhere near where it was. I suspect that like me, you may be quite a safety-minded person? Like, you'll be aware of risks and generally behave safely in everyday life? I ask because I think these things affect us more. It brings our value of safety/security into conflict with our desire to do poling - a slightly more risky activity - and being injured really brings that conflict into focus, causing extra anxiety. What helped me was giving myself permission to only do what I was comfortable with for as long as I needed that (quite a long time as it happens!) until gradually my safety boundaries started to push outwards again and I found myself gradually trying more stuff again. It's been very frustrating though, and I still don't pole at home any more because I live by myself and I'm frightened of injury with no one to find me or help me.
Baudelaire · 3/26/2016
Hi Catsanctuary177663, I fell from a windmill early last year and gave myself a concussion. It was in the studio, I had done the move a number of times, keeping my hands on as I moved my body around the pole. Then the instructor asked to "do it with more momentum" obviously it looks more impressive when the move is more dynamic. I must have been a little too enthusiastic and next thing I knew I was on the floor, crumpled around the pole with a very sore head! It's only been recently that I've had the courage to try the move again. Thankfully I have a wonderfully understanding instructor who was able to spot me, and take the time to let me work through the fear. I think falls can help us. I'm much more aware and focused on where the contact points need to be in certain moves, and asking for a spot is not something to be ashamed of. The more thoroughly you understand a move will only help you in the long run, even if it's feels like your progress is slow at the moment. Your fear of getting into a move a certain way, may also inspire a new creative entrance or variation that helps you feel more secure! I wrote about overcoming my fear on my blog (http://melnutter.com/2016/02/28/turning-towards-fear/). I'm sure there are many polers with similar stories. Stick in there and give yourself time. Being kind to yourself and focusing on other strengths in the meantime will help you move on. :)
Mel Nutter as BaudelaireTurning Towards FearToday was a moving day. To tell you about today I need to start this story in the past. Writing this was as much cathartic as the Epsom salt bath I had afterwards. For anyone experiencing fear and …
Cherished · 3/26/2016
I fell out of a CAR, but I wasn't doing it properly to begin with, even after learning the right way to do it (thanks Veena!) I was still nervous. So I did it over and over again regularly until I became desensitized to the fear. I also used lots of pillows to start over. It took some time but eventually I got my confidence back.
Veena · 3/26/2016
I'm glad your ok! 💜 You might find this periscope helpful. 😊 https://www.studioveena.com/videos/view/5632ba12-6de8-430c-bc75-1e2eac11006c
Catsanctuary177663 · 3/26/2016
Thanks everybody. So appreciate your stories and advice. I have a love of sports that have a danger element to them, which brings joy to my life, and normally have less fear than others, which allowed me to progress rapidly in pole, so I'm bound and determined to conquer this!
chimponaut · 3/26/2016
I had the same thing happen almost a year ago. Two days before my competition my doubles partner and I were sneaking in a quick practice before work. I fell out of a move I could do in my sleep. I tucked my head but fell from 6 feet and shattered my collarbone and got a severe concussion. I assumed it was from overtraining but after 8 months of still having headaches I went to see a neurologist who discovered that I actually have epilepsy. He thinks i got it from my first concussion many many years ago. Long story short, after my fall I had surgery to repair a severed tendon in my arm and then had a metal plate put in to fix my collarbone. It's been a long hard road to get back to feeling strong again. I have so much fear now and no longer trust my arms. Before I never thought twice about crazy drops or moves. Now I get nervous doing anything upside down or high above the ground :(
Rachel Osborne · 3/27/2016
So saddening to hear so many stories of falling. I hope you are all healing mentally and physically. I fall regularly but usually land like a cat (years of horse riding meant I learned a lot about falling from a moving object at speed and from a height...) But in January this year I fell really badly. I've always had a fear of inverted moves where my arms are behind my back and there's nothing to cushion my head if I let go...I was demonstrating iguana fang on quite a fast spin and my grip just went. I had a split second choice as to whether to try to take the blow on the squishy bridge of my nose or twist my head and try take it on my collarbone/shoulder but risk my neck. I went with nose. Noses are pretty easy to fix. I took the fall really well and did a textbook roll to shoulder and tuck - but I lost a lot of skin from my nose and it scarred my face and for a month I had a scab there, a horrible reminder. Afterwards I was very pole-shy. It's almost April and I am still very cautious. I don't push it and am staying in my repertoire of movements and gradually pushing the boundaries back. I let myself just dance and flow with no pressure, simple pretty things. I know why I fell, and this is IMPORTANT and why I share this story. For months and months my passion for pole, and my desire to add to my dance repertoire and to use pole as therapy to deal with life stresses meant I was overtraining and pushing my shoulders and forearms too hard. They became inflamed. I didn't rest or stretch or condition them enough. They became more and more knotted and angry and exhausted and the inflammation got worse. And the small muscles in the shoulder girdle and forearms, they are what determine your grip strength. My grip failed because I failed my body. I did not listen to it. I didn't give it what it needed. I wonder how many pole injuries, like mine, are actually avoidable and happen because the dancer is assuming her strength is the same at the end of the practice as it is at the start? Or that she is as strong on her third day training as her first? We push our bodies so damn hard. I used to tell myself 'be a machine'. I am not a machine. I was lucky. I am still trying to put my learnings into practice. To listen to my body and to take rest days and when I am tired, to just stop, or switch it down and do simple grateful flow.
littlebunny92 · 3/27/2016
Agree. I'm getting back into this and just want to pick up where I left off... it's a little discouraging doing beginner things again. Like, I have my superman from the floor, but I can't even hold the side v to get into it. I'm getting bored a bit lol. Haven't even had the pole a week yet!! I need to just stop and take my time. It's hard, but I'll get there.
Katherine McKinney · 3/27/2016
I've fallen out of superman before as well, and that is not a fun experience. I managed to roll and hit my shoulder instead of my head, but I had horrendous bruising and held off on that move for probably six months after that. I took it very slowly and also tried a different way to get into superman first that made me more comfortable. I fell out of it from a shoulder mount to superman, and I spent a lot of time on the gemini to superman and the side climb to superman. You'll be happy to know that this was four or five years ago, and now superman is one of my favorite moves. You'll conquer it again, and your fall will only make you a stronger poler with more awareness!
maurer rose · 3/27/2016
Just curious, is there a video anywhere about safety when falling and how to protect one's neck? I've taken classes at three pole studios and somehow never been taught this.
littlebunny92 · 3/27/2016
I've never fallen from superman....don't want to either! I fell one time. I forget what I was doing... I used to cheer though so I had that "air awareness" some call it. flipped and landed on my feet. I still don't own a crash mat. I should buy one, but they're so expensive... then I feel I wouldn't use it enough. I use my husband to spot me. it works....for now.
Girl On A Pole · 3/28/2016
Such a good thread. I'm with chimp above, I am safety aware (remember my thread about handstand, cartwheel and flip fears) and that does colour my pole progress. I did fall from superman recently. Landed with a thud on both knees (I didn't have a mat for some reason). It wasn't the move I expected to fall out off, but it happened. And my knees were bollock'd for weeks after and in truth are still achy. I am more respectful of the move now. I might ace it 9/10 but there's always that one moment when....
Catsanctuary177663 · 3/29/2016
@Girl-exactly! My mind tells me "You fell out of that comfortable move without warning so it can happen at any time" and I have to keep countering it with "That's not true!!". It's like Veena said in the Periscope-awareness is key. I think it was a combination of being tired and being distracted by other people in the class. It doesn't mean that my body is just going to indiscriminately fail me-that doesn't make sense.
Rachel Osborne · 3/29/2016
The lady who wrote this blog is now walking again. https://fitbitlinny.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/back-break-recovery-week-1/ She fell from Ayesha. Sobering reading. So glad she is recovering so well.
Baudelaire · 4/3/2016
After reading this discussion I got thinking about falling and safety while pole dancing. Turns out there is very little said on the topic, beyond grip aids, installing your pole correctly and "chin to chest" mantra. I am currently putting the finishing touches on an article that will be out on my blog http://melnutter.com tomorrow. Collating ideas from martial artists, circus performers and the like, I can hopefully add to the knowledge of how to learn to fall safely. I feel that if we had this kind of training our confidence might not be blown so much when we do fall, and the chance of injury would be reduced. I'll post the link here to when it's up :)
Mel Nutter as BaudelaireMel Nutter as BaudelaireAerialist
Kellye Perkins · 4/3/2016
Has anyone fallen when doing Caterpillar?
Catsanctuary177663 · 4/3/2016
@Baudelaire, I so agree. For such a dangerous sport there should be lessons on how to fall safely. When I was figure skating it was always drilled into us to fall on our ass, don't put hands out to break the fall because that's how fingers, arms get broken.
Kellye Perkins · 4/4/2016
OMG I fell from Superman today! Never fell before doing this move and have been comfortable doing it for a while. I was going from side spin to superman and my foot hit the floor hard and jammed my big toe. It happened so fast I still don't know exactly how I lost my grip. So glad it's not broken I don't think anyway, but sure hurts to walk and move it:(
Baudelaire · 4/4/2016
http://melnutter.com/2016/04/04/what-happens-if-you-fall/ Post is up! Would love some feedback, on here on in the comments section. From the discussions here and on other online forums it seems this is really something people want to learn about.
Mel Nutter as BaudelaireWhat happens if you fall?“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” When Erin Hanson wrote these 12 words I am pretty sure she was not thinking about pole dancing. It is, however, a quote that gets …
Baudelaire · 4/4/2016
That looks sore Kelley :( make sure you rest it until it heals!
Kellye Perkins · 4/4/2016
Thanks Baudelaire. I just read your blog post-thanks for sharing, it definitely helps think through how to save yourself better during a fall. I thought the girl that paralyzed herself was doing a cross ankle release instead of a cross knee release? That happened in 2010 and hit the news.
kulotsalot · 4/4/2016
I fell today, too, from an extended butterfly attempt. I have been trying this move for like 6 months, never felt secure on the studio pole (40mm stainless steel) but can do it on my home pole (45mm brass). Luckily fell on my butt and thigh so no damage done but it was pretty scary!
Sparky 3 · 4/4/2016
Last October I fell from the inverted crucifix and face planted with the nastiest black eye ever!!!!! That was painful and took almost 7 weeks to heal! Everyone thought I was a victim of domestic violence!!! I immediately tried to get back on the pole as I knew if I waited, I would always be afraid and I would never pole again!! For a few weeks I would hyper ventilate trying to do the crucifix! I still get a little shaken when I attempt the crucifix!!!
Baudelaire · 4/5/2016
@kulotsalot so sorry to hear you fell. Butts are a good landing point though! Be sure to try it again with a spotter :) @sandykarasik1848 what a nasty fall! Lucky you came away with just a black eye. Thanks for sharing your story :)
poleisnewtome · 4/5/2016
Baudelaire, I learned a lot from your article. Thank you for writing about this important topic.

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