Colleague "creeping" on FB - what do?

Lina Spiralyne · 2014-05-15T06:04:40+00:00

I'd be greatful for some opinions/advice on this. I'm sure some of you must have experienced something similar. For a few months we had a guy working with us in our group from another site (but same company). I didn't have anything to do with him, but he was in the same office and constantly looking and such when he passed my room. Very obviously there was an interest. Not at all from my side though. I kept a low profile, trying not to mislead him or how to say, but it seems that did not hit through. He's from another culture and doesn't speak Swedish, it could possibly play a role. He may be unsure what signals people use here when they wanna say "I'm not interested"/"I'm interested". We never had a conversation. Just before he went back to the site he's permanently working at, we had a dinner and bowling night with some vendors. He and I was in the same bowling team, but we didn't really speak then either. I once again kept a "low profile". So nothing happened in any way. Then a couple of weeks after he had gone back, I got a friends-request from him on facebook. I should say that my fb is a place of all kind of people nowadays. Friends, online training buddies of pole and contortion, pure creeps, relatives, fake profiles. You name them, I think I've got them. I connect to others in my training fields on facebook (among other places) so that's why the doors are open. I've connected with interesting people that I didn't know were interesting people before I let them in. I think my collegue has been stalking me for all the time he's been here and seen on profile and cover pics that the likes come from kind of everywhere. It does not give an impresson of someone who connect only to IRL friends and family. So maybe that's partly why he took the step and sent me a request even though we don't know each other. I was a bit hesitant to accept his request, but considering the crowd that's already there, I thought that what the hell, I'll include him then if he so wants.…

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ERIN6907 · 5/16/2014
Delete him. It's THAT simple :)
Lina Spiralyne · 5/16/2014
I messaged back to him saying that I had understood he wanted to give me compliment but that it was coming out so to say creepy and that he should keep in mind that we are colleagues. Then I wished him a nice weekend. He replied right away with that he was sorry if I had found it annoying and that they were only compliments. I said that it was alright for this time but that if he wants to show his liking for some of my posts, then it's more polite to use the button for it. He replies that he doesn't have to press the button because he likes them all (followed by a ;) ). I said it's up to him about "like" but that now I had told him not to write flirty messages. He says they weren't flirty (hmm...) but that he won't write again. Then he wished me a good weekend. He didn't seem upset which is good, now I can just hope he really got it. Time will show. Let's wish for the good and that I won't have to block and talk to HR. Thanks a lot for all the input and concern. I appreciate it a lot!
Rachel Osborne · 5/16/2014
Well done, let's hope he stops making you feel uncomfortable.
Rachel Osborne · 5/16/2014
Ps. Web Junk and others, this is a great site with people being so thoughtful and helpful to fellow polers :) ty
WebJunk · 5/17/2014
Lina: Hope the situation is resolved. These discussions on here are great even if we do not always agree, whether unfortunate topics like this or whether SS, Chrome, TG or powder coat is the best pole coating. (Its Chrome. No wait Powder coated. or maybe SS!) What I like is everything being discussed with yes All the different opinions. On Facebook you only get people clicking the Like button or extremely brief no-substance comments. It also seems that many on here divulge more about themselves than other sites including failures. Cannot explain how helpful it is to see others doing the same move mistakes as me and then the comments with corrections not to mention the confidence encouraged by everyone. Thank You!
beginner2 · 5/23/2014
If you block him, he might create another account to do his creepy things. Just reply short and cold like "thanks" and put him in a list so he can no longer see your pictures and updates. I had friends who always messaged some compliments instead of clicking like. That bothers me a lot, like they're on fb with a low profile while trying to stalk girls and nobody knows. I told them I cannot response to all messages as I have too many of them everyday. They still stalk me publicly (all those "you're sexy" comments, etc.) but lose their interests after a while.
Lina Spiralyne · 5/24/2014
I already replied to him, you can see it a few posts up. Later I noticed that he had unfriended me. Since what he was hoping for wasn't going to happen, it was the right decision. Some of the "creeps" unfriend me when they realize that I'm not interesting in a conversation with them. So sometimes these knots resolve themselves. My collegue hence did everything the typical creeps's way by sending private messages instead of liking and then unfriending when the hopes fell. lol. If they only knew how stupid it looks when those messages pop up after you've just posted a picture. I'm learning from them though. This makes me understand what not to do if I'll want someone's attention on facebook or similar places.