Monicasaerialadventures started this discussion ·
First off I am all for men being in pole classes, I think men are amazing at pole and just the raw power they have. I was just wondering what everyone else felt.
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I have mixed feelings about this. I would not want all my classes to be co-ed. I like that I can go to class and connect with other women without men around. they have all male football, baseball, rugby, wrestling, tennis, you name it. I want this for me without men around. Having some co-ed classes could be a compromise, but I would rather that men have their own class.
I'm for it. I think that people are people, it doesn't really matter what it is you're doing- women can be just as creepy as men when it comes to anything sexy. I think that, as a good compromise, you could offer all three: Men only, Women only, and co-ed, so that people have a choice. If you don't get much interest for one of the types, you could ask about blending them into the co-ed class instead, or offer private lessons at a slightly reduced rate (they would probably need fewer classes, too), so that everyone could still learn and pole. I think someone that a lot of us don't think about is the fact that each sex has something different to give, and to work on. Men DO have that raw upper-body strength, which has been proven to me time and again by my boyfriend and my roommate... but they don't have a lot of that pain tolerance (which was, actually, proven on Mythbusters), and they don't have the kind of lower body strength women have. They are also challenged by a different center of balance than women are (makes it easier for us to, say, sit on the pole without our hands). I would love to have some guys around to enjoy pole with, as much as I would love to have ladies around! Like I said, everyone can get creepy about stuff like that. If someone is getting creepy vibes, you could always invite them to talk to you about it (if you're instructing, of course). No one wants to be uncomfortable about being leered at just because they're upside down, and their boobs are in their face. Likewise, I'm sure a guy doesn't want to be leered at when he's wearing booty shorts.
zoeyxxxx ·
I teach one male and all the girls don't mind him. He is gay so im not sure if this may help them feel more comfortable. But my class is open to both as long as there their to learn I dont mind. But if there was a guy in my class just there to watch he would be shown the door. I do have to change a few things to suit the guy like hes not into body waves hip circles the sexy side. So when the girls work on that I give him something else. :) but over all if I guy wants to learn my class is open :) xxx
I think it's great to have mixed classes, I'm all for equality...but I would not attend a co-ed class. My own self conscience self just would not be comfortable.
At my studio males have to take private classes. Im down for men pole dancing if they are professional and can keep their minds on the pole and not on womans bodies. At tantra studio in canada the pole instrutor is male. But honestly im border line ok with it. Alot of woman take pole classes to dress sexy and feel sexy and they are comfortable doing that around woman and maybe gay men. I know here in Seattle a lot of studios say woman only which sucks because men are amazing at working the pole
I'm a guy who loves pole...may I weigh in? The timing is perfect: I just got back from an evening drinking with some top-notch pole instructors from New York and Northern California, after a weekend of truly awesome workshops and last evening's pro exhibition. All the classes were co-ed: dance classes, spinny class, flexy class, everything, and I'm glad of it. Yes, I'm one of the few straight guys around (51 years old, married, 2 kids). As far as I can tell, pole feels just as fun to me, in basically the same ways, as it does to women, including the straddle-pops and bodywaves (male and female bodies aren't all that different; for both of us stretching and moving feels GOOD!). Of course doing flamboyant tricks semi-naked a few meters from similarly-dressed people can challenge your self-image, but all we students are in the same room practicing the same tricks, and if any of those amazing women are worried that I notice how good they look and how gracefully they move, they haven't yet gotten word to me. I love watching everyone practice and perform; in class one woman today said she liked how I look (she said she was jealous of my abs ...). I do some moves well, some ungainly, a mixture of klutz and showoff, maybe stronger and less flexible than the women, but overall pretty much the same, and all of us know it...I tell you, co-ed classes absolutely can *work*, and I feel amazingly close to the people I've danced with. I think pole is a wonderful sport both for body-awareness and self-expression, one of the few which freely mixes strength, flexibility, momentum, performance, and sexiness. I can totally understand if some people need a single-sex environment to discover pole, but please don't make it sound wrong for a man to enjoy pole in the same way a women does.
Our studio only offers classes for women right now - guys have to take private lessons. But I'd love to have a co-ed or all male class eventually. I do a lot of partnering with a guy and he can definitely get a lot of the strength moves more quickly than I can, but I'm always better at stuff that requires flexibility. I actually find that because of his different center of gravity and upper body strength he has to think through new moves slightly differently than I do and I often will get a move more quickly if I have his different take on it. So I'm all for learning with guys!
I have tried to do Co-ed several times, due to men asking for it, HOWEVER, when I offer the classes they never show up!! I spoke candidly with a few that had been in touch with me begging for classes, here's what surprised me! Men are just as self conscious as women...the 2 men I spoke with said they were a bit unsettled that they would have to wear shorts (NOT the baggy loose to or over the knee)!, and would prefer an all male class, I found that really interesting! I would totally love to hear from men that do pole and what their thoughts/feelings are on this topic, in particular when they 1st started. Getting some insight from our male counterparts would help in creating a class that they could feel more comfortable in. I did discover that it's more the younger men that have never worn fitted shorts, they have grown up with the pants loose and half way down the BUTT! LOL
jamiestar ·
No I think the ladies should stick to the pole and guys do something else:-)
I've been in mixed classes and it was just like any class. Personally I can't see any issues with it. We're not there to stare at other peoples bodies and to me it's not about expressing something "secret" or sexual and I'm fine with being in there in the light clothing since it's functional and the same for everyone. Sure, if it turns out that people reject taking classes due to the fact they don't want to show themselves dressed down around men/women, then I can understand if the place will make classes separate, but if not I think mixed will be the best.
There's been a really great guy who's been coming to classes at my studio lately. He's very respectful and is going to make a fantastic poler with his can-do attitude. I think it's wonderful to be able to include men! I understand why it makes some women uncomfortable, and I would have not been cool with the idea when I first started. But you could compromise by keeping female-only classes an option.
I have been in a class with a man in it, and I am perfectly fine with it. Honestly, I feel that saying classes should be women only (or pole in and of itself shouldn't be offered to men!) is a sexist idea. Think about it - football used to be a man only sport, and what did women do? We fought it - equality is a right everyone should have. And sure, some things have a women only and man only team, but I believe that is partly so there are no advantages and disadvantages on a team. Since pole is an individual sport, I don't really think it should be separate. The studio I went to would inform you if a male was going to be there in case you didn't want to attend, and if you showed up and didn't know and you weren't comfortable they'd offer for you to come back a different day. I thought that was a nice set up. As long as that male is there for the same reasons any woman is, they deserve the same equality.
Thanks I am enjoying everyone opinion on this, I wanted to through something into the mix, would you still feel uncomfortable lets say if a famous male poler happened to be in your class such as David Owen or Steven Rechless
My studio only offers co-ed classes. The all male classes I put on the schedule ended up being co-ed anyway. The men usually feel better with a female they know in the class like their wife, sister, friend. I had one very strange and uncomfortable encounter with a male in a private class who insisted on coming to class naked. When I told him he wants to keep his "parts" in some sort of clothing for practical reasons like it will not get in the way with thigh holds, he wore a see through thong, that was super ewwwwwwww. No one wants to see that. I asked him not to return through e-mail because it was too weird just being around that guy. He has not come back, and all my male classes are now co-ed. Co-ed classes have solved quite a bit of issues for me. I had one complaining customer. This guy was super cool and I totally understood where he was coming from that there should not be a double standard and that he should be able to just take whatever class he wants. I agreed and told him that I know it's a double standard, but that's just how it is right now. Many women don't feel comfortable wearing shorts let alone wearing shorts in front of a guy they do not know. I strongly dislike when people are like, "It doesn't matter that this gay guy comes to class because he's gay" People's sexual preference is not my business and certainly not for me to tell other people. If a women is a lesbian I don't go around saying she has to take the co-ed class because she's lesbian. If you have male "equipment" you must take a co-ed class. If you have female "equipment" you can take any of the classes on the schedule. That's how it is at my studio. I find that's the best, most considerate way to be.
Monicaspoleworld: I would die of fangirling too hard. I would be totally over-the-moon excited to meet one of those guys... just as I am totally excited to meet anyone who I can share pole with!
ODI3212 ·
I actually have never had more than maybe 5 classes without a guy. One of my first instructors was a guy and there was almost always a man taking them. It always made the jokes a little funnier I must say but also it was a nice balance. The men usually pushed us girls strength wise but we pushed back with dance.
Well.... when I opened almost 4 years ago I never really gave men much thought. I now have 2 (albeit gay) men enrolled, and they are just as loveable and wonderful as any of the ladies who take classes with us. I'd take 100 more of em if I could get em !!
litlbit: you asked about men's thoughts/feelings regarding initial class experiences, especially regarding form-fitting shorts. While men I know don't talk about such things non-jokingly (really!), I'll venture a guess: they're worried about erections. Not unreasonably, either. Lots of hip-opening warmups, upper-thigh stimulation, sexy songs, and extremely attractive, scantily dressed women nearby, plus the fascination the mere possibility of public exposure has on the imagination (that's basic but unavoidable psychology). In my case it wasn't a problem: my classmates told me explicitly I should wear booty-shorts to grab the pole, and erections are apparently no big deal, just another physiological response, like sweat or stiff nipples. But like you, I have noticed men not as comfortable with the process. Hope you can help them!
I would love to take co-ed classes. Of course if someone is there to be a peeping tom I would expect the instructor to ask that person to leave. I can imagine that many women would not be comfortable with it so I think having some classes that are women-only is probably a good idea and perhaps necessary from a business perspective. I think 9 out of 10 classes I would probably choose co-ed if it's available. Guys are always good for the mix--at least in my opinion. I have taken one class with a guy who does some Chinese pole and was also working on partnering tricks with one of the other girls in class--made me do a double take at first but then didn't bother me a bit.
I've taken co-ed classes and plenty of co-ed jam sessions. It's never been an issue, but then again those weren't sexy classes per se. There is a place around here (I see you're from MA) that admits men to any class, including sexy stiletto dancing. And apparently they even come to that. Actually, that seems like a good compromise: men can come to pole class only if they wear stilettos! :) :) :)
FoolsErrand, thank you for your response! As a retired nurse I thought that might be a possibility. When I had to assist male patients for example, they didn't want me to help them in the bathroom etc. :)
the studio i attend has classes for males, which I think is awesome. I don't think we can discriminate against men doing pole, they should be able to take part as well. I don't think I'd be happy with co-ed classes though. Not because of any "inappropriateness" (I think men can be just as self conscious as women...I doubt that if they were taking a class they would be interested in checking anyone out) But I think I would be intimidated. Boys are strong, and in the beginner men's class at our studio, the boys are doing things the girls are doing in advanced levels. If that makes sense. I think if you were used to taking mixed-level classes, that would be fine but I hate that haha so I don't think I'd like it too much. That being said, I think a co-ed doubles class could be a lot of fun!
As I read through this thread I realized I would have had a different opinion about 2 years ago when I started. I would never have taken a co-ed class and I certainly would not have started wearing smaller clothing to stick on the pole in front of men. We had a special guest a male performer (he was in a musical that was traveling through our city) come to our studio and take a few classes and the girls didn't seem to bothered by it as long as it was just a few classes and they had a heads up so they could wear something a little less revealing. When asked if the class could be co-ed only 3 of us were okay with that. I am fine with it to a degree. If there was a man in the class that was not there to learn or was making the ladies feel uncomfortable I would not like it. Here is what I would like to see in a perfect world there would be classes for men and for women and coed classes. That way everyone could go to the classes they felt comfortable in. I would be comfortable in any class now that my skill level has improved substantially and I don't care as much about how fat my belly is because I can hang upside down by my toes.....okay that is an exaggeration but it just feels so good when I master a something new I don't care but again I did care a lot when I first started.
Sundcarrie, thanks! Your story confirms the need for single-sex intro classes, because pole is a challenging enough new activity without adding body-consciousness on top. But in the posts above, experienced people sound pretty chill with co-ed all around. Does anyone think there a need for single-sex non-intro classes?
Our Studio has Coed classes on Fridays. At the moment we have one consistent male student,nobody in the class seems to mind the mix. Here, it seems the personalites, more then the gender, have a stronger influence on classes. We have also opened up the studio in off hours to accomodate some open pole practice sessions for one of our fast track program students whose schedule made the Coed times a challenge.
