Hello!
Okay, first of all: Congrats about the new job! Very exciting!!
On the topic of poles and ceilings: I rent. I have never, ever, owned my own house. It may be a loooong time till I do. I've had my own Lil' Mynx pole for about 6ish years now- my first one was Stainless steel, my second one an SV pole, as in powder coated. They both have bolts that go into the ceiling, with a little bracket type thing that the pole hangs on to, and the pole itself presses into the floor and ceiling in order to have stability.
I've had the drywall fall apart on me, and I've also had some issues with metal joists or un-find-able joists, but never have I had an issue once I took the pole down. Put some spackle in there (you know, the white goop that you use to fill holes in your walls?) and be done with it. People generally can't tell it was more than a plant hook. No one, ever, has complained to me about it.
And yes, you really, seriously, HAVE to find a ceiling beam. If you just stick your pole in the middle of the room without a ceiling beam, it will likely crunch right through, or just fall over. You want neither of these options. The ceiling beam (or Joist) is what gives your pole an anchor, through the drywall. Drywall is not very sturdy, and as many people who have punched through it will attest, probably won't hold up a person.
For an X-pole, I believe the trick for tightening is that you don't want the pole to be too tight for spinning purposes (they can squeak or move irregularly if overtightened), and also you don't want to do any kind of damage to your ceiling. I've heard a lot of awesome things about X-poles being practically untraceable.
A simple studfinder will locate the joist for you :) Or, if it doesn't work (sometimes the creation of a house is a little... less than what regulation states? Or perhaps quite old, and you're dealing with a wood ceiling), you can also look up into a lighting fixture, and check to see where the beams are. They are usually about 16 inches apart, as far as I know.
