debbierockz started this discussion ·
broke up with my b.f. now i have no engery to pole.it was a bad breakup and its enterfearing with my love of the pole..has anyone eles been thru this? i have to get my mojo back i was getting so strong. (sob)
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JeHanne ·
I am sorry that you are dealing with a very tough breakup. Allow yourself time to heal and adjust and I bet that Mojo will come back with a vengeance! I hope you feel better soon and get back to the things that bring you joy.
Break ups suck for sure, but you can channel all those emotions and dance for therapy! Find some music that inspires you and start with some simple spins and stretches and see what happens :) Sounds like someone needs to make a new video for SV!
Break ups suck for sure, but you can channel all those emotions and dance for therapy! Find some music that inspires you and start with some simple spins and stretches and see what happens :) Sounds like someone needs to make a new video for SV!
Aw I know the feeling. Somedays I force myself to practise and it puts me in a better mood and sometimes I am tearfully poling around through the whole thing lol. We just need some time to feel good again just try to stick with it until you start feeling motivated again, even if it's just for 15 minutes to half an hour. I also watch some of my favourite pole dancers on youtube to try and inspire me to get moving. I tell myself I've recovered from a break up before and fallen in love again so I know I can get through this and I know later on I will be better than before even though it feels really painful now. (Hugs)
Why oh why as women do we get completely wrapped up in our relationships? (HEY.. preachin to the choir here - and I'M the WORST - but trying to 'Reform") ❤️ My BF and I have been thru so many breakups it's crazy - aparently some ppl just can't live w/o each other.. but that is my point: I am making SURE from now on, that I have MY life - separate - on my own- so IF the breakup happens again.. I'm READY. I'm not going to tell you to be brave when you want to crawl in a hole and die - eat the bucket of ice cream; watch the sad romance movies - give yourself a time to grieve - it's OKAAAYYYY!!! Just get out there as soon as you can so you can 'practice' being out, hearing the song on the radio that makes you suddenly and uncontrollably burt into tears.... It's all OKAYYY!! It just takes some time. Get on a dating website to cheer yourself up. Yeah, they'll probably all make you sick cause they're not HIM, but at least the attention will distract you and lift your spirits. :( :):) I Reeeeeaaaallly hope things work out for you and I think it's great you HAVE a hobby you love. Why not crank up the video, like she said? Make us a video of the "Heart Broken Poler". I bet it will be BEAUTIFUL. Hang in there, sweetie. *hug*
thanks 4 the advice.when i posted that i was feeling like crap but im getting better and u know i thought about it..its not the poles fault so im getting back to it.maybe my pole is my new b.f. lol but 4real im not letting a bump in the road stop my love of dancing and learning new things on the pole.well here i go my pole and me have a date.thanks ladys xoxoxo dont ever 4get about ur other love THE POLE
yeah a video and name it "broken heart poler" sounds good (thumbs up)
I dont know if you pole with people (lessons etc) but it really helps if you dont feel like it. You get there and think why was I going to not bother, its so much fun. Or at least I do. I just went through a rough patch with my bf (we are sort of out of it now) and one of the things keeping me positive was pole. I really dont know what I would do without it! Glad you could vent and feel better now, post us a link or note to your video when you upload it!!
Debbie the girls are giving you great advice and I am going to back them up. Depression has been my worst enemy since moving away from my hometown and almost everyone i know a few months ago. There are days I do not want to move out of my bed, like today, but forcing myself to get up and dance for at least a half hour. These days i do an extra long warm-up/dance-up. Usually by 30minutes into the pole session I am not ready to stop, today ended up dancing an hour and a half. Something you wanted to do least could end up being the thing that makes you feel best. Taking care of yourself both physically and mentally is important right now. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who will do the same.
I have had my fair share of breakups so I know how you feel, they can really be devastating but you should use this time to focus on yourself...in particular I liked to do things that my ex hated like wear love spell perfume! He hated it! Lol :) definitely use the pole as an outlet and try to channel your feelings through your dancing. Also taking up a new hobby can be good as well especially if it's an activity that's mostly male, you can be the center of all their attention! I have had some breakups where I almost couldn't drag myself out of bed, but you will get through this and I know it's hard to see past this guy but your mr right IS out there. after the Last breakup I had from an on and off 2 year relationship I signed up for plentyoffish.com per my aunts suggestion because it's free and that's how she met her husband, and I ended up meeting the live of my life on it and I am much happier with him than the other idiots I dated!!! Not saying your ex is an idiot but I promise you someone else will come along and I feel you can only attract positive people in your life if you yourself give off positive energy. Keep your chin up, spend time with your family/friends you may have been busy to spend time with during the relationship. Or volunteer at an animal shelter so you can give love to the doggies and cats. Check out a book called "it's called a breakup because it's broken" it has a lot of good advice and by the end you will have a whole new outlook on things. it just takes time and the easiest way is no contact, it's very hard to do this but if you can then after 2 weeks you will start feeling a little better, and as time goes on it will get easier. This part was very hard for me so I kept a list of people I could call at any time of night or day instead if I had the urge to call him. Hell, call a sex line if you're really desperate just don't call him! Good luck and stay strong, you can do this.
Real sorry to hear about your break up. Funnily enough I started poling to sort of reclaim myself from the damage of a bad break up. The guy was so horrible to me and it was only about a year later that I started to realise ''actually, he did treat me badly'' but by then my confidence in myself and my looks, personality, everything was so low. My weight dropped down rapidly and strands of my hair started falling out. I remember looking in the mirror and I felt like I was nothing but a shadow of myself, I could see my ribs and hated it as it was so unintentional. I started looking after myself better and eventually gave into my curiosity to try pole classes. My first class was so difficult, pole climbs and falling forward spins in the first two hours was just too intense for a beginner but it made me see how strong my body had the potential to be. One thing I instantly loved about pole was that it didn't matter one bit what you looked like or what you've been through, there were so many achievable, tiny victories to be won every single time I poled. Whether it was perfecting a new move or even just getting closer to achieving it. In a way, it refocused me on something very tangible and something I had control over. I know it's so hard right now because you probably feel like you've lost part of your own self now that he's gone but start reclaiming yourself back bit by bit. Put on your favourite shoes, turn up your favourite song and even just walk, pose, pause around the pole. I have a feeling you won't be able to keep yourself off of it once you get started. 😉 Keep smiling and dancing!
cringirl ·
I love how you said, me and my pole have a date, Debbie. I lost interest in a lot of stuff when I recently went through a breakup. But finally I am really starting to love my life again, and appreciate the things that are with me, my cats, my friends, my family, my house, and my pole. Creativity is the kick that will get me though all the rough parts of this life. Pole is live creativity. Creating movement and feeling part of the music and the moment. Thanks for posting this. Isn't it cool how we can be here for each other?
Later ·
Sorry if somebody already said this I only read what you wrote and kind of just jumped down to the bottom. Some times as ridiculous as it sounds, if you just pick a really sad song and dance it out and then have a good cry it can make all the difference. You can either just chose to be happy and try really hard at pretending to be happy until you are happy or you can just have a good cry let it all out. Some times the most beautiful dances can come from being upset! Use these emotions to your advantage!
Hi hun, sorry to hear about your breakup. I went through the same thing about a year ago, I didn't want to pole and just fell into a pit of dispair. I ended up giving up for a while, I didn't eat properly so had no energy. I just needed someone to tell me to eat some junk....force the apetite back and go to a few practice sessions at my local school. It helped me no end. The main thing is, don't give up, just channel your energy and any anger into pole, you'll improve no end. It'll take time but surround yourself with friends and talk about it if you need to. Pole is one thing that you can do for you, pick a move to aim for...even if it seems far fetched and once you've got it nailed (a few weeks/couple of months) you'll probably find you feel so much better than when you started Good luck sweetie PKx
