big tricks vs. sexy moves

carriej started this discussion · 1/8/2010

So, I was just wondering your thoughts on this and if anybody else ever has this problem. I got into pole after watching acrobatic pole dancers like Jenyne Butterfly, Pantera, and our own Karol Helms and SimpllySweet on youtube. I was really into the concept of pushing myself to learn big tricks and to stay on the pole for an entire routine, trick after trick, and still love the idea. So, I've been poleling for several months and have learned a ton of tricks and love it. The problem is that I do not do sexy very well and shy away from that because I don't want to fall into any stereotypes plus I just don't feel sexy. So, when I go to pole class, I basically do big trick, walk around, big trick, walk around, but my transitions and dancing looks like crap. The other girls can't do the big moves but they actually look better than me (not that it's a competition, I just want to improve my own dancing) cause they slide down the pole, crawl on the floor, strike some cute poses and all but only do a few spins or inversions. I don't really practice the cute and sexy stuff at home cause I feel like a dork when I even try. I feel like when I try to be sexy I just look like I'm trying to damn hard and then feel stupid. Does anyone else feel this way or have any suggestions? 🤔 Oh yeah, and there were two girls in class last night that I'd never seen before. Both were exactly my size, had the exact same little bit of cellulite or whatever, did only one inversion, but had the sexiest attitudes and dances that I'd ever seen. I gotta figure it out!

13 replies

amcut · 1/8/2010
You don't have to play like a sex kitten- you can just do the transitions, and your natural style will work through them! For some girls it is sex kitten- but there are soooo many things to give off. And maybe after you spend some time being cute, graceful, elegant, high energy, or brassy you can hit the sexy note without feeling ridiculous.
polergirl · 1/8/2010
I was the same way--I wanted to do the wild and amazing aerialist stuff more than anything. Luckily, I dance at a studio where dance is the name of the game. Sure we do inversions and tricks, but the emphasis is on weaving those into a dance, and I am really thankful for that. At first, I felt like a total idjit. Didn't want to "dance" at home because I was like you--I felt weird. But I forced myself to do two warmup dances that didn't involve any tricks, and only a few spins in combination with exotic/floor work. It has opened up a whole new world to me. Doing trick after trick can get exhausting, but dancing is exhilarating for me!!! Now I find myself trolling youtube for new exotic moves. 🤸
rubberstarlet · 1/8/2010
ha i hear yea. I'm still figuring out my own sexy O_O I'm not a big dancer so I feel like I have to move like an exotic dancer, or remember girls in music videos. UGH ha well I'm sure I'll come in time. What I did was get a single guy friend to come over, and I practiced pole and danced a little. And asked him for advice ha, he gave me tips but also made me feel comfortable. But thats just me X_x.
amy · 1/9/2010
it doesn't have to be either sexy or not. it can be fluid, beautiful, graceful. you can put your own movement into the dance. and you don't have to look like everyone else! here are some dancers who i don't think of as "sexy" but they are in a class of their own and some interesting examples of the range that you can get in pole dancing: amy impey http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I57YegUxg5g&feature=fvw oona http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gebtdTxD3RQ lori huett http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opKBSN-yDaA
jleigh · 1/9/2010
I'm the same way. I can do all kinds of tricks but suck linking them together. I've tried to link them via transitions but still suck at that. I can't so sexy at all which isn't a big deal to me since I'm not planning on stripping or dancing for my hubby. I do pole to have fun and keep in shape.
Runemist34 · 1/9/2010
You know, this was exactly how we learned to dance in the studio I went to...trick, walk, trick, walk. And this was supposed to be really sexy, because we were doing tricks! Our individuality was supposed to come out in the tricks we did. As you can imagine, I didn't take to it well, because I didn't have the strength for a lot of the tricks, because I spent most of my time walking. Transitions and such just seem so amazing to me, I want to learn them all! But it seems to strange to me, you know? I wonder if anyone here can give me some pointers? It'd be SUPER helpful! 🤸 As for sexiness, I agree with the others...it's a personal thing. You don't need to be "sexy" like everyone else is "sexy," and it's even sexier if you can be sexy the way you are. Does that make sense? It might not, I'm tired 😂 For some people, sexy is pleasing a crowd, booty-shaking, energetic. Others, it's flow, sensuality, touching. For yet others, it's vulnerability, cuteness, or even sassiness and coy looks. Sexy can translate so many different ways. So, I'd say just relax, practice without being watched for a while, and see if you can channel your own form of sexiness into a dance. 🤸 I actually have yet to understand my own form of sexiness, and have a very difficult time being "sexy" to anyone but my husband...and even then, it's hard. You'd think it would be easier, as a writer, for me to see my own wants and needs, but it's not, really. We all learn things at different paces, y'know? 🥂
Sassafrassle · 1/9/2010
I always figure people bring their different strengths to pole. For me, I have a dance background so that's what I'm going to bring to my poling - I'm reasonably strong and fit but for various reasons there's only a limited number of big tricks I can do so I try and throw them into routines where they'll have the most impact but make everything else dancey. You can often tell when watching clips on the youtubes what people's backgrounds are too - the links that Amyxshi posted for example; I happen to know that Amy has a degree in dance (so we're talking years of training!)and that definitely comes through in her pole. At a guess, I'd say that Oona (who is amazing btw! I'd not seen her before) has been a competitive gymnast some time in her not too distant past because of the way she moves and the way she gets into her moves. Other people you can tell have a more exotic dancing background, others a more acrobatic past. Anyway, I think what I'm trying to say is that if your strength is tricks, then there's nothing wrong with that. Having said that though, I find that "freestyling" is quite a good way to practise your transitional moves. Just putting on a song and dancing round to it helps get the juices flowing. The more often you do that, the more comfortable you'll feel with it and if you get other people going at the same time, you'll feel less self conscious:) And remember there are plenty of different types of dance you can draw on for inspiration - there's traditional pole dancing kind of moves, throw in a bit of latin or ballroom type footwork or flourishes, if hip-hop's your thing I've seen some pretty awesome hip hop pole routines, ballet type routines, belly dancing, etc etc. It doesn't have to be all about the bump and grind!
Layla Duvay · 1/9/2010
I totally agree with Runemist and Sassafrassie! You have to find out what sexy is for you! Different backgrounds will inform different moves and styles. My gymnast daughter gets tricks right away that it takes me AGES to get, but I spent years slinking around stages exploring my own sexiness. I rarely used the pole in those days (not many clubs had them), so it was all about the music, the attitude and the costume. Find a song that makes you feel sexy and explore it! Then find one that makes you feel sexy in a different way and explore that! For instance, being Wonder Woman makes me feel powerful, kickass and sexy, dressing up as a gangster's moll makes me feel enticingly sexy, dancing to a Doris Day song makes me feel innocently, kittenishly sexy. Most importantly have FUN!! BTW, Poleskivvies has just posted a video on her site (and youtube) on the topic of " How to Dance the Hell out of a Move" or (words to that effect). She shows you how to turn ONE MOVE (hip grind) into a total dance. 🤓 It's excellent!!! 😀
Sabrina · 1/9/2010
What a great thread - it's making me feel better - there are so many different things I think about the pole and then come here and someone else has been thinking about them, too! I don't have any dance or gymnastics background (other than grammar school hehe) but I have naturally a good amount of upper body strength, so getting something like the butterfly isn't difficult strength-wise, but more balance 🙂 I'm going to try working on transitional moves and the advice to "just dance" with your pole for a couple of songs is so on point and really does work!! I might finally put up a video 🙂 Thanks, ladies!
deetron · 1/10/2010
amyxshi, what a clever transition at 0:55 of the Amy Impey vid! Can't wait to try that out!! PS: I think all pole-related dance/work/gymnastics/tricking/comedy is interesting - doesn't have to be sexy!
SandyBrown · 1/18/2010
I agree that sexiness is a matter of personal interpretation. I love watching dancers who can combine the sexy move/transitions/poses/eye contact in the midst of their spins and tricks. To me, they are more entertaining to watch, and I'm sure that many of them (regardless of their background in dance, or lack thereof) had to really practice it in order to be good at it. One way to try this is to freestyle to a song by only doing transitions/walking/poses/eye contact, and leave the spins and inversions out of it. I'm going to do this the next time I go to open pole at my studio.
Kelilicious · 1/19/2010
HA! i know this feeling only too well! But the thing is, I can't do many big tricks either! 😢 I find if I practice in the evening, and have my lights low, it makes it a whole lot easier to dance sexy or move fluidly, it just gets me in the mood more. Spend somtime trying to pick out songs that make you feel really sexy, pop them on your playlist, turn the lights down low, and give it ago. 😉
minicoopergrl · 1/19/2010
IMO, I think a great routine has an equal balance of tricks and moves. There are still moves I cant do but Im great at floor moves. When I perform I like to put on a show from the first note until the last beat. some folks you can watch and they run through thier routine like a robot, but then you have some where they may not have all the crazy tricks in thier routine but you are moved by it. I always feel like I have more moves than tricks when I perform. I always blank out sometimes on what moves and tricks I can perform.