BF bought me a cheap pole :(

KrissyK79 started this discussion · 6/14/2011

I started pole classes in Sept last year and BEGGED for a pole for xmas. I gave him a few suggestions (XPOLE) but, he bought me a Peek-a-Boo. I was very grateful for it, and had it him put it up. I didn't want to say that it was not the right one, because how bad can it be, right? I find I hardly use it, and when I do, I never use it for any of the tricks I need to practice, my inverting and such, because I just don't trust it. Now, how do I tell him its not good, and I want to buy a new one, and not have him mad at me for wasting the $100+ he spent already. I guess I can put it on Craigslist and weed out the pervs that ask for demos!!

11 replies

BACE16 · 6/14/2011
Straight up honesty always works. You apprechiate the thought and effort, but its the wrong tool for the job. Explain how it comes down to your safety. I'm sure he'd rather be out $100 with a healthy girlfriend then $100 out with god knows what would happen if you inverted on that thing. If he makes a big deal out of his $100, it wasn't an honest gift to start with and he shouldn't have spent that much on you to begin with if he wasn't comfortable loosing it. Peek-a-boo is a boring game, but X-citing things happen with X-pole :P
hookedonpole · 6/14/2011
I don't know how involved he is with you and pole. When I got my first pole (Lil Mynx ss $250) three years ago, I was not familiar with the pole community and what was available. Once I got more involved and learned more, I realized I needed to make a change with a pole. It was hard, but I showed him info about poles, different finishes, etc. He surprised me last year and gave me $$ for 50mm xpole xpert titan gold and loves that I have it. So maybe showing BF info about why you would like a different pole. Now I'm talking to hubby about a 45mm xpert tit gold LOL, but think I'm pushing it :) BACE, love your quote!
lovesmypole · 6/14/2011
i had a peek-a-boo pole that my friend got me. I think I used it like 4 or 5 times (I didnt no better) when I knew I need a real pole I got a lil mynx that I love but I'm sure in the next year or two i will get a spinning one anywho I put mine up on ebay and it sold for 85 bucks which help me get the one I have now
PhnixxRed · 6/15/2011
When I first started pole dancing, my then-BF (now hubby) bought me an Electrapole. I had no knowledge of pole quality nor was I at all informed of the pole community. I pretty much "winged it" the whole time lol. When I tried to do spins, the pieces fell apart and it almost tore a whole in the ceilng of our apartment. I soon discovered X-Pole and my hubby recommended we purchase it before I could spit it out. Long story short, I would recommend giving your BF information about the X-Pole and inform him of the dangers of using a cheap pole. It's fine for simple strip tease, or to use it as a prop (pictures, poses if that), but I do NOT recommend using it for anything else as I have cut myself using it. Good luck!!!
cringirl · 6/15/2011
Well it sure is sweet that he got the pole for you, but you gotta step it up. Intallation is the key, when my pole finally got erected correctly I was so happy. I still am, just thinking about the work that went into getting the thing into my cozy little home really inspires me. My only regret is not using it when I had the audience. One big piece of advice girls, if you have a guy and he wants you to dance for him... just DANCE!
Cherished · 6/15/2011
I agree to just be straightforward and tell him why the xpole is better. You can just point out to him that the peekaboo is ok for beginners who use it more as a prop to walk around and maybe do a sexy dance with no inverts but that it's not safe to use as you advance so you will need something more sturdy to accommodate you. Also, as you mentioned before you can sell your pole on craigslist or ebay so he might feel better about spending the money and just thank him for helping to get you started in something you love to do. My friend's BF did this too (Electra pole) but she's not really into poling aside from a sexy dance from time to time so it's ok for her but I definitely don't feel safe using her pole when I'm at her house. Her BF actually tried to spin on it as a joke and it went flying along with him!
KrissyK79 · 6/15/2011
Thank you so much for the advice girls!! I am gonna tell him the truth, that know that I know this is something I really like, and want to do more of, I am going to invest in better equipment.
Rose1983 · 6/15/2011
I have the electrapole and if you install it right it is perfectly fine. You just have to screw it into the studs in your ceiling. I do lots of tricks on mine and have friends on it too and it hasn't moved. I am only limited by my low ceiling
ORGANIC ANGEL · 7/11/2011
I would just be honest. Google the subject/title of the pole. A lot of complaints come up because it didn't hold anyones weight. I am sure if you present the fact to him that you want something safe, over unsafe, he will be on board. Also, if you tell him you can pay a portion? Anything to help since it is something you really want. I am married, but I bought my own spinning X-Pole, because it was my birthday present to MYSELF:) I think if you want something badly enough, you will get it, no matter the avenue. You may need to save fifty bucks every week or something. The better the pole, the more confident you will feel doing your thing on Good luck.
moonflower · 7/11/2011
Tell him you really really appreciate his thoughtfulness. But show him a few of the 100s of videos of cheap pole falling down or scratching people at the joints on youtube. The show him how sturdy an x pole is. He shoudl understand.
moonflower · 7/11/2011
Strange, I can;t find any of hte videos I"m thinking of! Did peeka boo force peopel to remove them?