I love this post, too Amy and wish I had it when I bought my first pole. However, in the end I did buy the right size for me, but it took me a long time to make that choice! 😀
At the studio where I trained and now teach beginners, we have both 45mm and 50mm poles so all the students can try and find the right size for them. Sure, the 50mm poles are better for leg grips and the 45mm poles are better for hand grips, but I found it's really in what you get used to. My first pole was a 45mm, and I regretted it for a brief time because I had issues with leg grip, but then I worked on a 45mm at the studio and realized it wasn't the pole size that was the issue, it was the dryness in the air at my house which was affecting the amount of moisture in my skin. A little mositurizer on my legs solved the issue for me.
Now I have 2 poles in my basement, one is a 50mm and the other is my brand new 40mm. I work on both, and I must say, I LOVE my new 40mm. The hand grip is amazing and secure for me, and I don't have any issues with leg grip. Sits, climbs, knee and leg holds, planks...all accomplished without issue for me. And once I am secure in a new move on my 40mm, I will work it on the 50mm because I teach on them in the studio and I feel I should be able to manage all sizes of poles.
@polefairy, I hope this has helped you a little. 🙂