A Newbie that feels a bit out of her depth?

Essbie started this discussion · 4/23/2009

Hey guys, My name's Amie, from the UK im here to start learning how to poledance - right now I have no clue. 😂 Im a real newbie to all this, and I have a lot to learn. Poledancing has always intrigued me, and after being told by my ex that im too much of a prude to do it, its spurned me on even more. Is it wrong that it makes me want to do it more just to see the look on his face?

22 replies

Rouge_LAmour · 4/23/2009
My ex told me I was too fat to do it. My husband told me to do it if I wanted to and enjoyed it. It also tells me that your ex only sees pole for the sleazy side of it. Do it for yourself and for fun, everything else just comes later. Anyway, why would you want to give that creep any chance of seeing you dance if he's been that negative. The fact that you won't show him, is even better. Show your friends who are interested, but don't how him. Revenge is a dish best served icy cold. 😉
Essbie · 4/23/2009
And you know what, you are so so right! Ive been on a diet and exercise routine for the past 6 weeks, and dropped 16lb (bringing me from 168lb to 152lb now in the healthy BMI range for my height 5'6) Still got loads of work to do, im not very confident with my body - Im 21 but from the ages of 13-16 I had it drilled into me how ugly and fat I was. Now when boys show an interest I just cant believe them?
Rouge_LAmour · 4/23/2009
stop worrying about what the scales read too. As you gain more muscle, the scales will have bigger numbers. Just eat healthily and in moderation: loads of fresh, unprocessed food and you will see a huge difference.
Caramel_Dlite · 4/24/2009
Woah, you are not ugly! Who would say that to you?! That's so untrue! And as long as you keep up pole dancing or other fitness activities, you shouldn't worry about how much you weigh because size isn't an indicator of how healthy you are. I have a friend who is size 6/USA size 0 and she did no exercise and has a high cholestrol and her doctor estimates her death at 30. She's known this since she was 16 and she's 23 now and has only recently started exercising and by that I mean she goes for a short walk around a lake (still better than nothing.) My point is, wouldn't you rather be big and healthy than skinny and dying?
glitterhips · 4/24/2009
Honey you are not ugly! youre super cute 😀 My ex would go to strip clubs and even take me to them and he was all about watching other girls pole dance but when I started doing it he just constantly criticized me and showed no interest in it because I think he didnt want men being attracted to me the way he was attracted to other pole dancers, and he was just a very negative person. My current boyfriend is extremely supportive, gets excited when I share new moves with him even though he has no idea what im talking about, and has even told me he would be okay with me doing amateur night at a strip club.......big difference! I feel like Im enjoying poling a lot more now that I dont have someone trying to make me feel guilty for doing it. And as far as size, if you watch any of my videos I am by no means the thinnest girl here. But I pole pretty often and I am getting surprised at how strong I'm becoming, and I run on my days off of poling. My best friend is 6'3" and 145 lbs but doesnt exercise and eats terribly. She's much thinner than I am but we've tried to go running together and she's huffing and puffing after a block. Im getting to the stage where I'd rather be strong and fit than rail thin and stuffing myself with cheeseburgers!
yogabeachbabe · 4/24/2009
My best friend is 6'3" and 145 lbs but doesnt exercise and eats terribly. She's much thinner than I am but we've tried to go running together and she's huffing and puffing after a block. Im getting to the stage where I'd rather be strong and fit than rail thin and stuffing myself with cheeseburgers! Er, I can attest to that one. On the outside, I am thin, and fairly fit-looking. But inside, I'm kind of pathetic. Even when I was doing full-on yoga, I had the cardio stamina of a 98 year old smoker. So while I look like the picture of health, I've got a long way to go! I can't pole full out for more than a 4 minute song, and even after that, I've burned up so much fuel I'm shaking. I'm very unhealthy and really trying to do something about it. We can only start where we are.
Rouge_LAmour · 4/24/2009
Different types of cardio fitness too! I can't run very far without collapsing in a giggling heap or knocking myself out with a "puppy to the jaw" 😉 Loathe uphill walking, and I live in a city with hills like San Francisco 😂 but I can freestyle for 30 minutes+ no problems, I can do 4+ classes in a day without a problem, including Latin dance. Maybe it's just stamina... Can do a cardio intensive yoga class quite happily, but a high impact aerobics class, that's a different thing.
glitterhips · 4/24/2009
I have no problem admitting that I am a crazy person for enjoying running..its definitely not an easy cardio route! I fell out of it for a long time and I ran for a while the other day and my legs are still killing me two days later. I think the only reason i like it is because its the only time where i leave my cell phone at home and just go out with my ipod and my thoughts and no one can get a hold of me! its so nice. once i lost my phone and for two days no one bothered me, it was super 😜 but by no means am i suggestion running is the best cardio..im also a belly dancer and thats a great workout too. i know this is unrelated the topic of the OP i just wanted to make sure no one hated me for sounding like one of those hoity toity crazy runner people! id much rather eat a candy bar than go run a marathon. i enjoy my snail paced miles where i feel my thighs jiggling and my booty flapping behind me in the wind in all of its glory!
amcut · 4/24/2009
...heee..... booty flapping in the wind. heee... classic! makes me want to get out and run! Amie from the UK- you're gorgeous! and I'm glad you're not too much of a prude to start pole dancing because it is mamazing! I also agree with rouge and think you shouldn't let your obviously-a-jerk ex boyfriend get to see you dance! Ever! Also any of the jackbooties who hassled you when you were young. Or anyone who wants to ruin your blossoming self image.
Veena · 4/24/2009
I saw your pics, I love your hair! Your a beautiful person, don't listen to your stupid ex boyfriend 🙄 What the ladies are saying is true, just because your thin doesn't mean your health, and health is whats important in my book! A woman can pole dance and be sexy at any size 🥂
azriel · 4/24/2009
I can't believe your ex said that you! well i'm glad he's now your ex, and not current boyfriend! He sounds like one of those guys that like to make their girlfriends feel as if they're lucky he's even with them. eeeeoooow. At least one good thing that came out of it is that it pushed you to pick up pole dancing, which you say you always wanted to! There's nothing wrong with you wanting to do it even more after him saying that to you (i'm the same way).. but i agree with auntie rouge about doing it for yourself, and i think that you will naturally feel that way really soon about it. also, congrats on the weight loss, and i totally agree with everyone else about being healthy rather than thin.. i was down to 95lbs at one point, but was drinking and smoking alot, had very low energy, and couldn't last 20min on a treadmill! my fat level was also at 22%. good luck with everything and stay away from negative people who thrive on others' insecurities! 😉
Essbie · 4/24/2009
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments, really perked me up 🙂. We only split 2 weeks ago, but its still all really fresh in my head? He was texting an ex planning to cheat on me, and some how he still managed to be the one to do the dumping when I tried to make things work! Oh and sadly yeah, she can pole but not me!: -His Ex- Is a returning member of the single club..x Wed 17:10 · Asshole likes this. Asshole at 17:32 22 April via Facebook Mobile Welcome back 🙂 xx Some other chick 17:43 22 April via Facebook Mobile Welcome to drinking every Saturday in Bridgend, trying to look gooood everyday and (for me anyway) smoking more cigarettes than needed. Oh and the need to take pole dancing lessons, interested? X Asshole at 18:26 22 April via Facebook Mobile Hahaha do it!! 😉 xx ------------------------------------------------ The weight loss is really through eat better food, more water, fruit and veggies! Oh and getting an Akita puppy who needs loads of walks! Its funny because I never thought the best guy in my life would be so hairy and have such bad breath! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v83/Mosio/MrMan.jpg Had to show off my baby, honestly more dependable than any boyfriend ive ever had! And ive never seen anyone so happy to see me when I come home from work. Im doing my best to keep fit, its weird because its not something ive ever thought about? This morning I went for a power walk and jog around the park which I never thought I would do in a million years!
yogabeachbabe · 4/24/2009
Your new baby is so super cute! And you are a gorgeous woman. I'll bet you both stop a lot of traffic when you go out on your walks! It sounds like you're on your way to a better view of yourself. Good riddance to your ex. Surround yourself with honest, healthy, supportive people. And puppy, of course! Glad to have you here!
TrinaS08 · 4/24/2009
My best friend is 6'3" and 145 lbs but doesnt exercise and eats terribly. She's much thinner than I am but we've tried to go running together and she's huffing and puffing after a block. Im getting to the stage where I'd rather be strong and fit than rail thin and stuffing myself with cheeseburgers! Er, I can attest to that one. On the outside, I am thin, and fairly fit-looking. But inside, I'm kind of pathetic. Even when I was doing full-on yoga, I had the cardio stamina of a 98 year old smoker. So while I look like the picture of health, I've got a long way to go! I can't pole full out for more than a 4 minute song, and even after that, I've burned up so much fuel I'm shaking. I'm very unhealthy and really trying to do something about it. We can only start where we are. oh my yagobeachbabe...i can attest to that as well..i myself don't look like i'm in bad shape but like you, i can't do more than 30 mins of poling at a time. and when i do i shake all over..joggin? not me..lol..couldn't breath if i tried. but i am a smoker so not really good.lol..currently trying to kick the habit...well nice to meet you all I'm Katrina by the way..lol..xoxo ☀️
TrinaS08 · 4/24/2009
and for essbie...you are beautiful hun!!! don't ever let a man (or woman) tell you any different!! If we all looked the same then ppl would be bored because there would be no seperation from everyone. noone would be unique..and in my book, that just isn't the way it's supposed to be..well ttfn!! xoxo Katrina
Gsylass · 4/24/2009
Just wanted to add my welcome! 🌸 And as the other girls have said, you are beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Love your baby!! 🙂
Charley · 4/27/2009
Thin doesn't equal healthy at all. I'm small but smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish and eat red meat and carbs all day long. I'm a fairly disgusting person. Get a pole, dance around, have some fun and you'll feel great. And remember ex's are ex's for reason so anything they say let it fly in one ear and out the other.
pole-twista · 4/29/2009
welcome to the site! 🥂
DeaconJungleCatPoles · 4/30/2009
From a male perspective... You most certainly are gorgeous! You seem to have both inner and outer beauty. Your ex is a loser who doesn't know how to appreciate women for the perfect beings that they are. And I agree, he only seems to recognize the sleazy side of pole dancing. One can express other emotions besides sex in pole dancing. Heck I'm the biggest prude of them all. I'm 3 years celibate 😂 and loving every minute of it!!! You continue to be exactly who you are and pole dance for you and you alone. Let him eat his heart out while you strut your stuff because truth be told, he's not good enough for you anyway! Welcome to the family! Jungle Cat 🐱
Former member · 5/4/2009
welcome to the site!!! 🙂 i hope you get veena's lessons so you can become a pole queen in no time- you're ex seems like he was a complete jerk to overlook how beautiful you are! 🙂
Trena · 5/4/2009
Welcome to the site Essbie! 🌸 Wow your ex sounds like a total ass!!! Screw him! 😠 You'll love pole dancing and the others are right, dont let him see you dance!! By all means post pics on facebook or wherever but dont let him see you physically dancing, it'll kill him cause he'll realise what he's missing! You are gorgeous by the way! 😉
pole-twista · 5/7/2009
welcome to the site! you'll learn plenty here with all the vidoes, forums, chat night, vidoe lessons, ect hope to talk to you in chat sometime! 🥂