-
depression getting the best of me
I suffer from depression but i choose to beat it without medication.
i need some help 🙁
I cant seem to get over it. I need help getting back motovated.
p.s. i started business some months ago and it failed because i ran out of money. It might sound stupid but that eating at me -
22 Replies
-
I’m so sorry to hear this, I deal with this as well. If it’s coming to this point please contact a professional to talk with. There are hot lines you can call free.
One thing that helps me is to exercise and stay off the computer (if you tend to just brows) avoid social media and tv. Existing by watching other people’s lives can be detrimental to our mental health and it wastes our time!!! It can feel like an impossible task to just get up and motivated to do anything (you can have physical pain when dealing with depression) but if I can just get moving that helps. I also know for myself I have low times durning different times of the month so I have been aware of this and it helps me deal and prepare myself! Eating well can play a big part for me too! I’m so happy you feel you can reach out to us so know you’re not alone 💜
-
Hey there!
Recognizing that a failed business is bothering you is really important- if that business was something you put a lot of time and energy into, you may actually be mourning it’s loss, so give yourself the time and space to do that.
I suffered from depression since I was about 8 years old, until I was around 22- at that point, I found that my depression stemmed from anxiety, and even now, when my anxiety becomes unmanageable, I still slip into depression as a “safety feature.” It’s not a great fallback, but at least I know what I’m doing when I’m depressed. (I realize that sounds pretty sad, but it’s a part of life for me, so I’m not overly sad about it)I also dealt with my depression without medication, and I even continue to deal with my anxiety without medication. It’s not an easy road, and for a very long time, I kept being told that I should have medication… and that I was “not taking my depression seriously” by refusing their suggestions of medication, and only medication. I generally couldn’t get the help I needed, so I had to find my own way.
So, first off, I’m going to tell you something that one of my best, and most brief, counsellors told me: What if you just had it over to visit, and let it stay, instead of fighting it?
The emotion will be here whether you like it or not, and… you’re still around! So, why not let yourself be depressed instead of constantly fighting it? Just relax, and it’ll move on in it’s time.
I realize that can be scary. There are a lot of questions that come up when it’s suggested. Things like “What if it just gets worse?” (It won’t, it never got worse unless I actually fought it), “What if it never goes away?” (You can’t have one emotional state for too long, it’s impossible, so it WILL move on), and finally “If I don’t fight it, wouldn’t I be just giving up?” (No, you are trying a new method of dealing with it, of managing it).
You are allowed to have emotions, including feeling depressed! It’s okay.The second part is the habits of depression. Because I was like this for so long, and very much during some key parts of my life, I formed a lot of behaviours that related to depression. They seemed to perpetuate my depression, long after I had realized I no longer needed it to “protect” me, or had a use for it at all. I had to start changing, and I had to know about those behaviours before I could shift them, or get rid of them.
For me, it was a lot of self-talk, and a lot of particular actions. I stopped participating in the News almost entirely- no news websites, no TV, no newspaper, none of that. It depressed me, made me afraid of the world, and sad. Not great.
And with self talk… well, things like “I can’t do that,” or “I’m not good enough,” though they aren’t really put into words like that. It was a feeling that I was inadequate, less-than-human, that I was lower and lesser than everyone around me. That somehow I, some lowly horrible being that I believed I was, had been confused for being just like everyone else… and they would eventually figure out I wasn’t the same.
You know what? I am the same. I am human, and I am just as capable. I may also be “different” in that I am not the normal for most people: My progress physically can be quite slow, and my progress mentally can sometimes have holes in it that other people do not have. But, I am also a writer, I am someone who sees through people’s egos and disguises, I see their behaviours and their motivations. There are things I pick up that other people do not. In that way, I am “different,” but it’s something I’m proud of.My suggestion right now… try not to push yourself too hard. Go for a walk, even for ten minutes, every day. Make a habit of it.
Perhaps start a journal, start conversations with yourself. You’re a person who needs someone to talk to, and who better than you to do that? You may already know what you’re going to say, but it’s the act of saying it that is important. It’s the act of listening to yourself, that is important.
Try some meditation if you like, too. Depression can be distracting and difficult, and for me, anxiety is similar- distracting, busy. I like meditation as a way of gaining some perspective, allowing myself to see more than just a mental illness.Just go slow. Trust yourself. 🙂
(And, yes, when you need help, PLEASE call someone. Those hotlines are there for YOU, and they can be super useful. Your self-care is important, and sometimes that means bringing someone else in.)
-
I second the stay off social media, this is the only forum I have been on in almost 3 years and it has been wonderful!!!
More than 1/2 of all buisiness’s fail. You chose to start a buisiness! That is HUGE!Edison failed making a light bulb over 100 times before he got it right. 100 x’s!!!
The next time you start a buisiness you have the insight on budgeting and gaining more money to keep going. The lessons you learned are very important. Starting a buisiness is not for the weak. Grieve your loss, and get back up and move on you are awesome:
1 you knew what you wanted
2 you acted on itThat is way more than many other people could accomplish.
You are grieving, that takes time. Although it’s temporary – don’t give your failures more space than they deserve because you have more work to do. Go get started on the next one and adjust your plan accordingly to what you have learned. You got this!
-
Thanks guys!!! I just feel sick and i can feel myself start to sink. 🙁
omg, yes i really want my business back tho. And i understand everythint you guys are saying.
thank you -
May I ask why you are reluctant to take medication? It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. Sometimes one needs some help to get out from under the cloud and medication might be the help one needs. I don’t know your reasons for avoiding it (they might be very legitimate reasons) but if it is because of a stigma about medication or because you feel you should be strong enough to handle the depression yourself, you might be suffering needlessly.
-
I dont want to take medication because i dont like medicine, even taking pain meds for minor pain. Its also i want to learn how to beat depression without. I fall in a slump at the most 3 times a year for about a month and i always make it out but this time ive been down longer than normal.
-
Yeah, screw medication. Not even gonna get into my experiences with that bs, but if you feel it’s not right for you then people should probably respect that and not ask further.
You started a business and it failed? Well, it’s no surprise you would feel down about that, but the “eating away” at you is something that only happens to the unique individuals blessed with whatever it is that our minds have. (yes…sarcasm very thick right now.)
First thing, people have a tendency to treat depression in a manner similar to physical illness and that’s a huge problem. We all need alone-time to reflect but it often results in isolation and worsening mental health when you are depressed. Medicine? Only if you have actual proof there’s something physically wrong w/ my head, and WHAT exactly, and that this “medicine” has a detailed explanation of how it works/how it’s been tested/how it will help my specific unique special-snowflake condition that no one seems to know very much (or ENOUGH) about. Whatever it is I know that I can’t cough it into the face of a “mentally healthy” individual and make them ill, so I probably shouldn’t isolate myself or stay away from people…much as I would like to. And the medicine does nothing except zombify me so that I can’t feel ANYTHING or even function so…idk…it seems to be for the benefit of anyone who isn’t me.
You know what helps me occasionally? Sunshine, bubble baths, long talks w/ good company, days off from work, avoiding social media, going for walks, playing guitar, writing, ice cream, tea, puppies, kittens…anything to quiet the noise in my head that can only be the voice of my innermost fears and pain.
Talk therapy helps, but only if you don’t have trust issues. It took two years for my adolescent psychologist to earn my trust well enough for me to talk to him about anything important. Then I became an uninsured legal adult and couldn’t afford to see him anymore. So…*poof* there went that sanctuary.
I think the worst, the absolute worst, is the stigma and not being understood. People who don’t understand are often indifferent, cruel, or sometimes both. You find your people, though, usually briefly because we’re all dealing w/ too heavy of shit to deal w/ each other for excessive amounts of time. That, in itself, is painful to realize. So, eventually you learn to control the language of your inner-thoughts, fears, and possible self-loathing. You force assertiveness in social situations so the parasitic people leave you alone more often. You distract, identify, and then establish your boundaries with your emotions.
It’s never easy, it doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to live with once you take control of your thoughts and the language of your own emotion. That’s all you really can do.
Oh yeah, and all those people who may be talking shit or judging you? Not one of them is worth a damn, so put that boundary up even if it’s just by choosing to not react or respond to any bs even in your own mind.
-
PS The fact you even had a business, yes, that is HUGE. You have a major experience there, be proud of it regardless. Take from that experience, let it fuel future success.
-
@serzi your absolutely right. The biggest thing is i proved the ppl who said i couldnt do it right. But wrong! I just see what i have to do next time.
nd yes my brother takes medication, hes totally dependent on it, it zombifys him when I KNOW depression can be beat.Ive always fealt different than others, nd im trying new things. What also depresses me is change, letting go of the old, moving on in a better direction nd leaving i care about behind, being a leader and standing up for what i know is right, wanting to do better nd seeing my friends spiral out of control. I think life hurts right now, im moving in a different direction nd im lonely but not for long. 🙂
Medication can worsen depression if u ask me.
Nd thank you
-
Serzi, medicine isn’t BS. Maybe it wasn’t right for you, and that is fine, but for many others it had literally saved their lives. So don’t belittle it because it didn’t work for you.
-
Fight mediocrity, and Proctor Gallagher institute on YouTube are very good to listen to. Some of the richest people had these ideas and passed them on or the formulas they used. If you are very good at certain ideas then maybe you just need to fill in a few dotted lines. Not only for buisiness but for life!!!
I have been very successful learning how to re-write my story exactly the way I want it. I was medicated 10 yrs ago and it was very bad, I agree not a road I’d like to travel ever again. it’s been that long since I made myself my focus. There was nothing chemistry wise wrong with me I just needed to realize how this life works and get it to work for me.
100% of the time when someone is sending negativity your way they are projecting. They can’t give you any positivity b/c their cup is empty so they project how they feel upon you. Often this happened to me.But you can go listen to this from people who I learned it from. If it sounds like nonsense it probably is but from these two it’s been awesome to listen to their ideas and incorporate them one by one so that I don’t feel bad anymore.
-
I will belittle medication all I want in terms of depression. Actual proven physical mental disorders, however, I will hold my tongue.
I don’t have to bow to anyone else’s opinion, I have life experience and have lost loved ones to legal drug addiction. So, sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings about their own personal approval of medication. Please don’t try to shame me just because my opinion (among other things) differs from yours. There is entirely too much praise and defense for unproven, ineffective, DANGEROUS drugs on the market. Oh yeah, and not enough support by human beings for other human beings.
But by all means, support Pfizer. I’m the one who’s making billions off of others misery.
-
And all I’m really saying is if a person decides medication is not right for them that it is OKAY. If it works for others, that’s great. Please don’t take into account the lives it saves while neglecting the lives it has taken.
-
Seriously? How am I “shaming” you? And what are those “other things” you refer to? I asked garryn a question, gave her my opinion, which is from MY OWN experience, she responded, and then I let it go. If anyone is “shaming” anyone, it is YOU who is doing so with your vitriolic comments about medicine being “BS.” You seem to be a loose cannon who cannot tolerate opinions other than your own. This is all I will say to this.
Garynn, I hope you find solace and relief from your depression in whichever way you wish to find it, truly. I love watching your videos of your pole progression. They are inspiring.
-
I haven’t used your name, called you names, or said anything personally directed at you. Just medication.
But, you’re right, I’m a loose cannon.
-
If you reread what I wrote, you will see that I wrote “maybe it wasn’t right for you and that is fine” and also, in my post to garynn I wrote “maybe you have legitimate reasons” for not taking it, so no, I am certainly not shaming anyone for their choices.
-
Yeah, whatever.
I wish the very best to the original poster of this thread and hope I haven’t caused any undue stress on anyone w/ my own thoughts. Wow. Just too much.
-
It’s fine. I understand it’s a touchy subject for people. But people have to do what’s right for them, whatever that is.
-
I dont think people should be shamed for taking or not taking medication. different things work for different people. I would be dead if it wasnt for medication. I feel bad when I hear people try to put others like me down because we are some how not strong enough to just fight depression. or that we are caving into big pharma. when I hear that medications are dangerous I think to myself, so is putting a gun in your mouth. which what some people with depression are ultimately led to. speaking for myself. no amount of bubble baths, kittens and sunshine can reverse some forms of depression. Also, there is a big difference between depression and sadness although sadness can trigger depression. you know how you can tell you dont need medication? you are doing fine without it and have a good quality of life. if someone with depression can manage wiithout medication that is a good thing but its not possible for all. there is alot of shaming that happens when one does have to take medication and that shaming may prevent some people from taking medication when they really really need it. there is not one solution for everyone and I think people from both sides become sensitive when they feel the other side is putting them down. Depression sucks and I hope anyone who has it gets help no matter what that kind of help is. medication or not. Garynnnjb, I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way and hope that it passes quickly. Staying physically active has always been something that has helped me, whether I was taking medication or not. And keep reaching out to others and talking about how your doing is important. And whether you choose medication or not, definitely keep good open communication with a doctor or therapist. whatever you do, dont try to battle your feelings alone. we love you here!
-
If you’re feeling so down that you can’t function you need to contact a professional. It can help to hear what worked for someone else so keeping comments to what worked for you is most helpful. When you’ve dealt with something personally it’s bound to get a little heated when discussing. Thank you all for caring enough to respond to someone you’ve never even met! That’s awesome!
On a side note, there are studies that claim creative people (like us) tend to deal more with depression and anxiety. It’s super common with those who enjoy expressing themselves through dance!
-
Aww that is rough, but I think that if you are having a hard time getting out of your depression then you need to contact a professional to help you. Don’t go at this alone. A lot of people started businesses and then had to close the doors it is a hard pill to swallow, but I admire you on that. I would love to start a business and wished that I had the brass ones that you have to start it. I agree stay off social media. Stay away from that bull-pucky. Do you write in journals? Sometimes writing it down and just getting your feelings out can help. Around 2008 I had a bad break up and I was in depression mainly because I couldn’t believe that people (on his side blamed it all on me). I knew I wasn’t a bad person I did what I could in the relationship without having to do it all. N-E-who, A Spiritual Healer told me to right down all that bother’s me and when I’m done I could choose to rip it up and throw it away, I could bury it because those feelings and thoughts are now out and dead to me, or I could burn it in a sacred fire and blow the ashes to the wind and ask my Guides, Angels, Ancestors, and God to take it away because it no longer served my purpose. After I did that I realized. There was NOTHING wrong with me. I did what I could do and that was that. I was an amazing person and he was lucky to have me for the time that we were together. That was just a moment of depression. I also have a small amount of PTSD from being in the military, and I don’t take medication because I feel like I have a good handle on it, but one thing I know for sure is that I know that I can’t bring myself out of the darkness all by myself.
I had a coworker that had been battling depression pretty much all her life I mean she had a really screwed up life. Then she joined the Air Force and she had to be hypnotized to get through boot camp. I was like dang really?! She’s been on medication the majority of her life and it has been helpful. I have seen her when she is on her medication and it is explosive and lacks reason. Just over last year she had a family tragedy hit and she tried to fix her feelings etc herself and it was so overwhelming for her that she tried to take all of her medication. Thankfully her daughter found her in time and she got the help that she needed and yes she is someone that needs medication right now, but she is working on herself because she hopes that in the future that she won’t need to take it anymore. So be Blessed to you and Blessings to her. You’re not alone.
-
THANK YOU to Runemist34!! I LOVE your idea of not fighting my depression or anxiety. I get exhausted fighting myself on a daily basis. I never thought I had the option of just hanging out with it – just BEING. I think this will help me 🙂
garynnnjb – Know that you are NOT alone. I also don’t use medication but that’s been my choice for years. I’ve known people who have benefitted from meds & people who didn’t. You have to do what works for you & what’s best for you.
Creative outlets help me music, dance & writing. I also see a therapist on occasion. I also have a hard time relaxing so reading & baths help with that.I hope you find your peace.
Log in to reply.
