I take Chinese pole lessons from time to time, and I've had the instructor show me the starfish. Unfortunately, there isn't much trick to it, it just takes a *lot* of outer thigh (abductor) strength. It also isn't a move that's meant to be done on a dance pole, but rather on a rubber-coated Chinese pole, with shoes on. If you're going to try at home, it's best to practice with the bottom foot at the base of the pole, and just try to let go one hand at a time while keeping your legs from sliding together. Good luck!