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Social media, inspiring or discouraging?
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I am a ‘first gen’ poler…I started the same time Charley did. 😀 I just took a loooooong break and got back into it as far as learning new things in 2011. I appreciate how you guys feel, and it sucks to be in a place where you feel like you’re ‘not enough’ and that the pole dancing that the masses see is crazy tricks!
CK–good distinction between competing and performing. I agree.
I do say ‘I will never do rainbow marchenko’ hahaha! Seriously, there are moves I am just not interested in, and I say I have enough to keep me busy for a long time without adding anything new. Lol. I did learn to like the knee hold (one that I said no way to) 😀 -
I have not read through this all as I am just waking up and had made a mental note earlier in the week that I wanted to respond to this. I still have so many things that are running through my head so I will try to separate them and add my notes.
Social media to me has become a game of “Look at me”, look how much better my life is than yours. Or on the opposite end, drama drama drama. Most of the videos in my feed any more are from competitions or performances, I don’t see very many clips. I also do not watch as many videos as I used to. I fully understand the need to share your excitement for getting a move, especially if you had worked on it for a long time, but I grow tired of people who do it because they are seeking attention. And you know and I know those people. I am not going to sit and explain myself, you know.
On that note, there has been a lot of conversation about this trend toward making a name for yourself in pole and it seems the social media plays a big part in that. People are not poling for the love and the community, they are poling looking for that attention. And it shows back stage when they are competing or performing. And it shows on their social media as they complain about this or that and why they did not win. I have heard some back stage horror stories and it is kind of sickening that some people are such whores for attention that they have to try to make others feel less than. Social media plays so much into this.
I have been secure in my pole journey for some time now so social media does not play much of a role. I still love seeing new stuff and some I know I maybe one day I will get and some thee is no way. It gives me an insight of the person behind the dancer and sometimes that is scary. Sometimes that makes their dance that much more beautiful. But again, I am in this for the community. I am in it because of the way pole makes me feel. It is a small portion of my life but one portion that fills a gap. I have an identity away from pole.
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So I just went back through and read Charley’s response. Can you tell why we are friends?
I will also note here, Layla’s illness has really pushed a LOT of this to the forefront and slapped us in the face. Layla was about the dance, about the community, about the love. I cannot imagine if she was just getting into pole NOW as opposed to when she did how she would feel. Or Joel. Hell, even David knows that without the community he may not have ever gone as far as he has.
I need a What Would Layla Do t shirt, and I need it NOW!
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I deactivated my Facebook. Veena your site and another fitness oriented site are the only social networks receiving my energy. I’m honestly over the adults acting like children. There’s but so much hiding someone from my news feed can do. there can be inspiring things however it’s likeplaying chess to get the draw of inspirational quotes and actually good Samaritan news.
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to verna: i think they see you as a kind of competition and wont cone on here because of that, many of them offer or are contributing to sites where online lessons are offered
online lessons were not av. few years ago, now theres tons of websites and pole school offering pole lessons.
also those few seconds clips with crazy tricks often come from those places to motivate people to subscribe to their lessons
it all comes down to everybody now thinks : im the best im gonna have my own videos on my own ect ect all about popularity and money , the pole community is sloly dissolving
but thats only my hars opinion as usual
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I totally agree with Olivia, about others seeing you as competition. And that is sad and unnecessary. I subscribe to lessons here but I am also a crazy fan girl who loves to get dvds and clothing items from other pole celebrities too.
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Before I had actually tried pole myself, I was only interested in watching the videos of crazy advanced routines. They were super impressive to me, but also gave me the expectation before starting that I was going to fail because of how impossible a lot of the moves looked. Now that I do pole, I prefer watching videos of girls who are closer to my own level because I can appreciate how much practise and work goes into learning the simpler stuff. It’s also fun to see people advance and get new tricks for the first time. I can’t say that I really feel bad about myself when I see a video of a pro, because I know they started as a beginner too and worked to be where they are. I’m just starting to get more comfortable with intermediate level tricks, and if I’m feeling discouraged, I just think back to my first class and how much my body has changed since then 🙂
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but the harsh truth is : no matter how good they are there is no money to be made with pole
unless you are in cirque du soleil like jenyne and felix , you can be as flexible as u want you can t have credit from a bank with pole skills. you aint gonna make a living from this
so … lol stop competing with each other leave that behind and lets bring the real essence of pole back
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I follow a lot of professional polers on Facebook and I do still find them inspiring. They remind me that so many regular woman have reached those heights so I can keep on trucking and I can get that next invert.
I find Pole Art the most inspiring because of the focus on dance and emotion. I also love watching people at my own level, but I mostly come here for that. Although i have just got instagram (which I intended to be mostly for pole but has a lot of kittens photos right now!) and I want to follow pole dancers of all skill levels.
One of the things I find most inspiring is actually seeing the flexibility of others. I’m trying really hard to work on my flex at the moment. I’ll be having surgery soon so I think knowing I’ll be out of action for a while is one reason I’m willing myself to get right into flex.
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Late night real talk: I do get discouraged by seeing girls on Veena or IG boast about how long they have been doing pole cuz it’s usually in reference to the quick progress they have made. I am a naturally competitive person and I really try to temper it cuz these girls often have been doing nothing but poling the whole time when others have work obligations or family obligations, moving to homes with no pole space, etc. And it takes them away from pole, for months or even years. I put when I discovered pole on my bio just cuz I wrote when I began pole in my bio and even have a lengthy blog about how it came to be cuz I think it’s nice to know when people got involved, then you know if they were around during certain movements within the community and you can bond over that or if someone would like to know about that movement within pole/pole celebrities of that time/etc. Posts where it’s like “blah blah blah….2 months into poling” what’s the place in that? Showing off your skill is one thing I get that cuz you were excited to get that and others like to see it too but for some reason just broadcasting it with every clip bugs me and makes me feel lesser and like I should be in that same place. But no, I’ve had to take breaks that were all a month long (at least) cut back time poling because otherwise I’ll overwork my body from doing too much maaaage and too much pole but I need the money when I can get it. My place is just as valuable as anyone else’s but sometimes I really have to try hard to remind myself of that sometimes. Just genuinely glad I don’t have Facebook from the sounds of it. I do YouTube, veena, and just started IG. Veena and IG in particular have exposed me to so many talented non pro and non pro seeking dancers that are so beautiful to watch and I’m VERY grateful for that so thank all y’all for sharing. I will be sharing again once I can reclaim the pole too ! Trying hard to get a sexy back video for y’all 🙂 it will be my first contribution, love to watch all yours though!
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I feel really discouraged when I see people posting hard tricks and that’s all I see on my feed it kinda sucks that I feel this way as I love pole and think it’s amazing when someone gets a really hard trick. What really inspires me about it is the simple combo challenges like bespun at the mo are posting a challenge every week and I’m following those at the mo they are not only inspiring me but motivating me to want to pole and dance again after my long battle with an injury. There not too difficult for me either. Beautiful simple combos are really great to learn I appreciate simple things I can do at my level, we don’t learn to dance much at our studio so that’s an area I want to address. But I still think posting difficult moves is great, as it is an amazing achievement. Pole is so difficult I think it’s just more people need to recognise this. It’s nice to see the dance being brought back into it not just tricks and combos and veena I love when you post your short videos of combos I have never seen or thought of always inspire me because you always post new ways of getting In and out of moves that I could never think of in a million years it’s keeps things new for me which then challenges me.
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I find pics of tricks a bit pointless; I get excited to see a beautiful set of moves whether that’s simple stuff done gracefully or dazzling tricks. I want to see it as part of a dance, how it flows, how the dancer got in and out of it and how it was used to express something to music.
I get motivated to work hard on simple things like flatline Scorpio if I can see how it is the launching pad for a beautiful extended move, or the foundation of an elegant combo. If it can’t be danced into and out of again I am not interested.
So tutorials, clips of dances are motivating.
‘Look at me doing some crazy thing’ – meh.This Marion Crampe clip has really motivated me recently – some amazing tricks but the grace and lyricism in the simple movements is actually more inspirational for me https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152492465939870&id=97193519869&ref=stream
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Kind of piggy backing on what Lucca said… It can be discouraging to see someone progress faster than you. It takes a lot to sometimes to not beat yourself up over it.
I pole 2x a week usually. Maybe a hour each time. Obviously there will be people passing me… But sometimes when I count, and I’m like “crap, I’ve been doing this for 7 months” I feel like I should be way ahead of where I am now, especially based on what I see.
I just remind myself how demanding my career is, and I have a son and husband and new puppy… All wonderful things, and pole has to share my time with those things. (Surprisingly I’m on SV a lot for someone with no time, I know… But usually I’m in the car with my husband driving to little league or something like that)
I can also get overwhelmed with what I see. Like I want to work on certain things, I want to do the plank challenge, and find time to work on my flexibility and find time to practice my handstands, and pole. I thought hooping looked cool. It is too much sometimes and I feel like I’ll never get good at anything.
Mostly I’m just happy I’m getting stronger and better. There are moments of insecurity though, I think everyone has those.
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one example of inspiring social media are the hilarious videos studio 409 uploads. I haven’t seen a video from her recently but her past ones are always inspiring!! she really charts her struggles and efforts that go into moves. Love her!
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Hmmm some interesting opinions in this thread, I have a variety of videos and clips come through my FB news feed, i am in awe at watching both professionals and beginners in their journey,I Regularly put both short clips and longer clips of both, dare i say my attempts at dance and also new tricks and combos that i try, NOI do not do this for attention i couldn’t care how many likes or dislikes i get, i couldn’t care what anyone else think about it, all i know is that if their is just one person who sees what I can do and it inspires them to live a healthier life or to see that anything is possible no matter why your age or life situation then what i put up has done its job, if not then so be it. and of course we ALL like to get compliments if some one puts a nice comment up then that naturally makes us feel good too and there is nothing wrong with that. If I get a rude comment then Blaa who cares.. Of course there are a lot of people who put videos up because they NEED to be watched liked and commented on i have no judgement of people on social media each to their own, each has their own story in life to tell if they need attention well thats ok, if they need to air their dirty laundry thats ok too, I do get a bit sick and tired of those who stand in judgement of these people. Each to their own in this life, I do love instagram by the way, a fantastic way to learn new short combos or moves. I do love to watch full length dance videos as well and Veena i love when you do a full length video they are few and far between now days, I also am surprised by just how many people in the pole community especially in Australia do not know of studioveena, i talk about it like everyone knows and when they stare at me blankly I’m like Oh haven’t you heard of Studio Veena?? I thought everyone has LOL.
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All great points of view!
I like Instagram, it’s a great way for me to make posts people are interested in right to FB and Twitter. I just wish that clips were not the ONLY thing everyone wants to see. :/ I post a few non pole pics and vids there too, but they aren’t to popular. lol
Paunobs, there are still many places in the world we haven’t reached yet, it’s challenging because we don’t have any pole related companies helping us out by advertising our site worldwide, but we do what we can!! We’re still growing and still the largest Pole site out there!
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Oh and Raven, I agree, I wonder where 409 went?
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I love 409 too! so funny
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Veener’s Hello! I’m still here! I was overwhelmed for 1 year with my Studio, class and bachelorettes. I will soon have time to make new videos; I look for combos or inspiring movements! I miss the time when I discovered pole and when I could spend my evenings watching videos Veena … Kiss from Montreal xoxo
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For those on IG, biapoledance has such amazing combos…just found out about her (yesterday I think???) and have been way to excited about it
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Is maybe well known??? My pole video exposure is pretty much all through veena or YouTube so IG polers are all new to me ^_^
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Hello all!
I just finished a recital/showcase tonight at my studio, and I came home and decided to post here. I, for one, do not post any of my videos online. My studio owner is pushing me to compete in the next competition, but I just don’t want any of my performances online. I have been poling for about 3 years now, and there are still some tricks I can’t do. Sometimes, I get frustrated with myself, because I really love the “dance” part of pole, but also want to be more versatile in my pole dance journey. Yes, I love the sensual part of pole, the floor work, but now I’m more into “telling a story” with my poling. I can do a few hard tricks such as Allerga, Superman, Yogini, etc, but I want to incorporate those tricks into a story I’m telling with the pole, which would involve floor work as well as some dancing, as well as props.
Sometimes, I will look on YouTube for whatever trick I am working on at the moment and see who has the best tutorials for my learning style. I simply look at some competitions if I want inspiration on story telling. I will say I love Aletha Austin and Karol Helms because I like how they incorporate the sensual with the story telling and the athleticism. And that’s what I aspire to do, not be them, but to successfully incorporate all aspects of pole.
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Hi Veeners! I am not a first generation poler… On here I used to be JelliCrew but I changed to Angie La bc I opened a studio when I moved to the US, and it was easier for people to make the connection.
I started spring 2011 and never belonged to a studio–only homeschooling pole and finding some pole friends along the way. I can remember feeling “left behind” just even on studioveena. I was afraid of losing progress or that I would never get this or that… I sent a message to Veena once, brooding over whether or not to have an elective surgery because of the time I would spend off the pole, and my progress. One thing she asked me was “why do you even pole dance…?” Or something like that. Flash forward a couple years and I am a studio owner and I still have to remind myself why I do this bc now there is a different pressure–doing what I love on top of it being a business. I didn’t open a studio to become a studio chain, make a name for myself, or prove anything… I wanted to share what pole had done for me in hopes to offer this glorious gift to others. That being said, I NEED social media. Why? So people can find me, stalk me, and see that I am a legitimate teacher. Why? Bc I have to pay off my studio. I do NOT feel like I need to be a contortionist to do pole dancing…I would like to be able to grab my foot… I do not need to feel like I can do a fonji…etc. I do like pole challenges bc they cause me to focus on myself instead of just what I am teaching my students–it’s an intrinsic thing and it’s nice for others who knew me before to see that I am still at it. Should I just stop doing tricks thinking I will make someone feel bad about themselves…? Should I stop posting..? Should the pole “stars” stop posting..? This is their passion and pride too. Gymnasts, former ballerinas, exotic dancers, show girls…there is room for it all. What is becoming mainstream is the sanitization of pole dancing. Who was it that blogged about this…? Someone did bc that is what is happening. There is a lot of things that aren’t what they used to be–cars, toys, medicine, and yes pole dancing.
I recently went to a competition and ran into someone I used to watch their tutorials online when I was first starting out. I’m not naming names 😉 but it was such a let down when I finally met her. She meant so much to me when I was learning ways to come out of a superman, what tricks I could add to my tool box… To top it off, her school was there to RESPRESNT and that they did, and cleaned house! The air was so thick and unfriendly. I found some placements to be justifiable and others it seemed like a popularity contest. This was a large organized, regional competition. I brought my girls with me bc I wanted them to see what it was like and I felt so embarrassed for the pole community…I felt like someone told me Santa Claus was not real. I had lived in my pole bubble for so long that the reality was a slap in the face. The reality is that it is a business, and it involves numbers…when it comes to passion and art, numbers always win. I had my own little pity party, vowing never to conform, never to compete or give money to organizations who run events like this… I calmed down and remembered–why do I even do pole???? I’ve created my own pole world with people who are growing and changing. One of my students, the one who competed, can dead lift and do a Phoenix and I can not. She is a former gymnast and spent years training her body in ways I did not. But that is her and I am me. Sure I try to lift, I would love to be able to do a Phoenix! But I still feel like I am learning the art of heels, expression, transitions, hair flicks, and handstands! Would I ever in my adult life feel like I would want to conquer handstands if if were not for pole, maybe not. There are lots of yoga moves that are connected with pole and even breakdancing. There is so much to explore!
I encourage everyone to stop looking around and look inside… Yes I see things and wonder if I can do that and sometimes I can. There are more times now that I can than I could before…I didn’t give up. There are other moves that I feel are unsafe for my body…I do not need to do a rainbow marchenko but I would like to have a flat split. I would like to do a straddle split and push through.
I’m digressing but this is my take on progress, comparing, and social media. What do I see in my feed? Whatever I subscribe to. If I subscribe to people who make me question my pole competency, then that says more about me than it does them. Don’t subscribe to them. Live and let live. But yes, I see lots of crazy stuff in my feed. I like clips but I also like the opportunity to see the long version, so I like when people say “the longer version is…(wherever they posted it).”
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Competitions are not the best place to meet people. I know when I compete I’m a mess and it’s hard to connect as I would like to – gosh I feel the same about when I meet people at Pole Fest, lol. People are talking and I’m the back my head I’m listening and trying to watch everything because I’m a micromanager and trying to connect one to one. It’s sooo hard. It so easy to come off wrong in those situations.
I think competition can be really healthy and push people to be their best. I don’t know how many times I’ve said stuff like “it’s just a showcase,” or “sweet! It’s a non pole crowd, easy tricks,” you know what I mean? It’s really hard being a returning competitor whether you placed or not because your living against your last thing. It’s hard.
It’s also important to build your world and your bubble. I think it’s really important to stick to your values and not support those who do not fit in line with that.
As far as first gen polers vs new gen…it’s changed so much. First gen had their problems too because we didn’t have a lot of the info we have now and when people did things differently they were mocked and hurt. I saw it go down. I sometimes tried to be really diplomatic and step in to explain both sides sometimes to only make everyone mad, lol! I think it’s really important to have a forgiving attitude because even still most of the time we communicate through text on a screen which comes off bad sometimes. I’m really working on his personally. We are all artists and passionate about what and how we do things we can’t always agree. I have had my head in the sand for a long time trying to avoid pole hurt – you can’t.
As far as social media goes I wasn’t referring to pros. I think back to Veena’s post about pro moves and most pros will agree with that. They are doing things fit for them, there are moves they don’t do. One pro and one point didn’t like CAR lol! I think the upcoming professionals sometimes inadvertently propagate the whole “trick, trick, trick, impossible trick thing.” I also don’t think anyone is intentionally trying to push people,or away or hurt others with their talents. For me I temper often what I post and how I say or represent things because I’m a huge people pleaser. A lot of people are just proud of their hot shot new trick. That’s ok.
There’s just A LOT more self focus than there was. There’s more “me” than us. There’s is less working together, there is less openness and inclusion.
Now to a funny story – earlier this year one of my friends peeved me so bad when she went on and on about someone and I looked at her and was like “I’ve been teaching you that stuff for years! What makes her so great?” And it was funny because she agreed but it was because it was someone she didn’t know. I just replied with a smile that they say familiarity breeds contempt – hahahahaha. But in all seriousness I’d like to see more sharing to share and evolve and enrich others than feeling like someone is showing off again for the umpteenth time. But then again, I’m reading words what if I’m wrong about the intent? 🙂
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~~~Social Media Feeds?- I limit my pole friend and follow lists to people I have met either through SV or a workshop. To me, social media is a personal relationship and I want to be invested in their journey! It doesn’t matter if it’s a 3 second clip or a full dance.
~~~Encouraged or Discouraged? – As an “older” poler, I am always encouraged. I know what my limitations are (although they weren’t as limited as I first thought!) so I don’t get discouraged by what I watch. Ever.
~~~~Video Clip or Dance? – I admit that most times I would rather see a clip, but that’s usually because of time constraints. I am awed by a full dance and there is nothing like a live performance!!!
One of the things I find myself thinking of repeatedly is the difference in the level of “difficulty” in just a few short years. My first Midwest Convention (2012) was a much different experience than 2013. More gymnastics, more janeiros and fonjis…Don’t get me wrong. I think these tricks are impressive, but I enjoy the lyrical, emotional, artistic form of pole. (I do know what you mean, Charley!)
I will be performing for my first time this October. I said I would never do that. The ONLY reason I am going to is that it is a local venue for a charity. Most of the audience will be non-polers. I would never perform at one of the conventions, mainly because I won’t put that kind of pressure on myself.
I can appreciate where pole is going, if for no other reason than having an outlet for those who want to go in that direction. However, I do hope we can maintain some of the “easy-going” forms of it. “What would Layla do?” Indeed!!!!!!!! Have fun, be yourself, and fuck ’em if they don’t like what you do. Be a Goddess!!!
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