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Not always a superstar….
As lovers of all things Pole related, we follow amazing athletes whom we love and admire! Daily we’re exposed to photos and videos showing only amazing flexibility and feats of strength on social media feeds. This can be a great inspiration to us, and I personally love sharing my new ideas or achievements with everyone. However, I feel there’s often a downside to this constant exposure to what may be PERCEIVED as perfection and constant achievement.
We begin to loose sight of our personal journey. Many times we forget how much dedication and hard work has gone into achieving above average flexibility and strength. We start to compare ourselves with others, we begin to feel down about our own journey and progress, we feel like failures.
Anyway…. I think we’ve all had times were we’ve felt inadequate in the world of pole so I decided to share a REVERSE progress photos! I would like everyone to understand I am not always super flexible or in shape for that matter. I have times in my life that I simply cannot or just don’t feel like training constantly. I usually make time to do some sort of exercise and if not I’m usually physically busy with 4 boys to clean up after! If I’m in a rush it’s not usually pole and flexibility training I choose, and flexibility training is a luxury for me. It’s something I really enjoy and often put off in order to get other things done. That’s life! 🙂
So the next time you feel everyone is alway making leaps and bounds while you regress (because you are a normal person with a life) remember this photo! The April photo was taking this morning!
Left – April 2014 – NOW Right – October 2013 – THEN
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41 Replies
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I really appreciate this Veena. It’s very reassuring to see someone who is generally very physically fit still be human. I definitely struggle with feelings of inadequacy too often. This is encouraging for me.
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@veena this is awesome….I really struggle with self confidence and to see someone I really look up to so open, honest and still encouraging and dedicated really makes me feel better. @jolenebell girl you are just as inspiring. Every time I see one of your videos it just makes me grin from ear to ear…it seems that you never give up and are very motivated….and I am in awe of that.
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I think that it is only possible to be “100%” all of the time when someone has 100% of their time to dedicate to all aspects of flexibility and pole, etc. I am constantly yo-yo’ing with my strength. Sometimes I exercise 3 days a week, and other times I can go for 3 or more weeks without touching the pole, or weights. I enjoy it when I can do it, and I enjoy the time I take off as well. I am a huge believer in the balance of life.
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Thank you Jolene and Princess, I’m glad it was helpful!
Saphyre, I completely agree!
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Thanks a lot Veena! I also share the same feeling. The fact of having a really slow progress with the pole and overall body strength and flexibility sometimes makes me want to give up, we tend to compare ourselves with others that have less time poling, or those who have a stronger body, etc. This is such a motivational topic, very appropiate for my situation, having to work full time and being a mom/wife, the little time left for the pole brings out a bit of frustration compared to the expectations I have of myself as a poler.
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Thank you for sharing that Veena. for me, strength and flexibility are wavering and not consistent. some days just suck, then some days I see great progress. it comes and goes in waves. I’m learning to trust that the tide will come back again when I feel it’s gone away.
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Hi everyone… My whole life I have loved all types of dancing, but when I really decided to get into pole fitness, it was only 2 years ago. I spent almost an entire year just doing weightlifting/cardio/flexibility, while only doing beginner pole moves at work and practicing at home. I chose to do this first to kind of prepare my body (I had injured my knees,ribs,shoulders previously). I feel that was a good way for me to prepare, but it was so difficult to have to wait so long to do all the exciting inverts/splits, etc. I feel like I have come a long way, and people like all of you are really inspiring! I feel tired and sore some days, and I feel like just being lazy…. but then I will watch something on this site or on YouTube, and then I make myself do something (at least one pole move, or flexibility). I feel that helps to keep me motivated. I remember when I watched my first Felix Cane video, and I remember thinking “I can’t wait to try that, but how in the world will I do it” while watching the Jade Split. It has taken almost a year, but I have almost got it!!! I am so glad to have found this site with such kind and helpful people. Thank you all so much!
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Thanks, BrittieJean!
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This is a great post, thanks for sharing! I to have come a long way but still feel like I have more bad days than good but it is usually pretty insignificant in the bigger picture. Actually the longer breaks served me well and helped my body I think. There were some things I couldn’t do as well or anymore after a few months of not really being physical besides a few spotty pole days but I re-learned quick and actually gained some flexibility.
I just look at the past year and few months that I have been doing pole or anything really physical since my injuries from about 10 years ago in the army. I have come along way in strength, flexibility, and confidence the last year and I try to not focus on the set backs from here to there, just look at the whole picture and how far you’ve come since you started (true for anything in life). Even though I have set backs and loose certain things when I don’t practice regularly, I am in better shape then ever. The United States Army couldn’t even do this to me! True story 🙂
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I love the conversation this has sparked! 💜
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The one thing that pole has done for me is push me to get better. It is the one thing that I have kept working at event though my progress is not where I thought it would be. I thought I would have my splits and clean inverts but I don’t. However, I am learning to slow my body down and be graceful and feminine. I’ve never been graceful and I have never had any dance classes so I am literally starting at ground zero but I see progress every time I practice. I had a vision of what I wanted to look like, but I am realizing we all dance differently and no matter how hard we imitate two dances will never be the same.
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I had been involved with weight training/fitness for close to 25 years when I started pole dancing at 46 yrs old. With pole, my body became even more fit (I had 19 year olds asking how to get abs like mine) and because of my strength I was able to do some difficult tricks. I didn’t have flexibility, however, and I have worked really (REALLY) hard on that. Now, at 53, I am more flexible than even in my life, but (post menopause) the body feels and looks different and some of the strength moves I did – not so much now. Plus, I have a day job (at a desk no less) and pole has always been something I could really only do once or twice a week. I have said this before on my FB page, I see similarities with my bodybuilding experience to pole. I built the love of lifting first THEN entered a bodybuilding competition. When I didn’t want to compete anymore, I still loved training and have continued to do it. I think pole is similar for me, I built the love of pole DANCE first and became interested in the skill/tricks side later. I hope the pole community is TRULY ready to accept that pole dance IS for all ages – because I don’t have any intention of stopping to participate and express myself with it – and I hope no one here does either – whether or not you can do the latest outrageous trick – always do it for the joy and love of it too!
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Just checking in as a pole teacher and regular performer to say that I absolutely do not train 100% perfectly 100% of the time either, not even close! This is something I repeat often to anyone I hear talking about some part of their body they’re particularly unhappy with, often the stomach when I hear “I just want a flat stomach/six pack!” There’s been times when I’ve had a visible 6 pack just because of the level I was training at to achieve a certain goal, not because I was training for a six pack. But damn, when I’m in that kind of shape I can see puffiness and loss of definition the next day if I had one bad meal. It’s not possible to sustain that kind of shape permanently, but I think it’s easy for us to forget that when we see videos of pole athletes who are only posting videos when they’re in training form for a competition etc. and we don’t see the in-between.
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This topic really resonates for me. I’m extremely inflexible and always have been – I can’t sit cross-legged, or stretch my arms above my head comfortably, or do anything approaching the splits. Not even slightly. In my beginners’ classes everyone else can do the warm up stretches properly, do fan kicks and so on, and I can’t. I’ve started the SV stretching lessons and am doing them three times a week (after running, as I’m already nice and warm then!) but I don’t know that I will ever get my splits or be able to do the more advanced moves. I’m not even sure I’ll get some of the intermediate moves because my body simply isn’t bendy enough at the moment and might never be. But I do know that I can improve from where I am now, and the only way to fail would be to quit. Thanks for a really useful discussion everyone – it’s cheered me up a lot!
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I’ve been trying to keep in mind how far I’ve come when I’m struggling with a move, especially one that I know will not come quickly or easily. Lately, I’ve been trying to work towards Iron X and deadlifting into my handspring position, mostly by kicking up and trying to descend in slow negatives. It feels like I’m not progressing noticeably at all. So, I try to put in perspective by remembering a time when I couldn’t kick up into handspring at all. It was probably a year that I was trying to do that unsuccessfully.
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I love you and your genuine nature 💜
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Thank you for this. I needed to hear it much more than you know. After having gone for about a good year of feeling really healthy, my Ulcerative Colitis has returned and is bad right now, and I feel like I am falling behind in what was already a slow progression for me, and I have been incredibly discouraged and saddened. Even just moving in certain ways causes stomach cramps and I have incredibly low energy. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to do what is best for myself and to go at my own pace and to not feel like a failure for not progressing like others.
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Thanks so much for this post. The message is very timely for me. I have been feeling like I am either going backwards or no improvement on anything I have been trying lately. I have felt at times my pole journey has been a true uphill climb. I appreciate the positve reminder and reinforcment to make it mine and keep pushing.
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Thanks Veena for keeping it real. 😀
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This is a great thing to share. Thanks for that. Even the pros have setbacks.
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Hey Veena,
This has to be one of the most important threads on here. I came out of a phase where I was too discouraged to look at videos of pole stars, because it reminded me of the injuries I’m nursing, and how much I was regressing while being away from pole. I’m happy to say I came out of it and can truly watch others for the love and joy of it. But it’s also important to understand that everyone is human-no matter how perfect some dancers might seem-we all have challenges at some point.
Even though I am not professional level yet, I am an experienced dancer, with a level of strength and flexibility that I worked very hard for-and some people might look at me and think the same things that I think about the pros-yet I am here, with my own challenges, on my own journey with my own ups and downs.
What has helped me the most is going to my fave pole stars’ youtube channel and watching the very first videos they posted about 6 years ago-when they were still honing their craft, and imperfect. I make a point to comment, letting them know these are the most inspirational/favorited for me, because they show me that they were at one point just like me-and that I can equally be the best dancer I can be in the future.
Another thing that’s helped me is reading Misty Copeland’s autobiography, “Life in Motion”. She is a well-known ballerina-not a pole dancer-but she recently suffered a couple of very severe injuries in the peak of her career, which kept her out for an entire year. For one of her injuries, she could not even walk, so she did barre exercises on the floor. When she got back into the ABT, her dancing was not quite at its peak for a few months (duh!) and the press made a big deal about it. Misty is an amazing person, and reading her story really helped me realize it’s OK to be where I am. And I can and will heal and be the dancer I’m meant to be.
My injury is taking way longer to heal than I ever expected, but that’s OK-in place of some of my dancing space, I’ve built an animation table in my room, where Nana the Pole Star lives and performs. I live some of my wildest dreams vicariously through her for now…and hopefully by the time my injury heals, the film will be finished and I can clear the space to dance again 🙂
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I don’t want to be repetitive but I do want to share my thank you for this post Veena. It came at a very important time for me as well. My day job as an attorney has taken over the last month of my life and I have suffered immensely in my pole world because of it. I have worked late, ate late and suffered the fate: gained weight. i lost strength and really I’ve felt like I’ve fallen behind. I’ve been so discouraged when I walk past a mirror that I certainly don’t want to move in front of one: all my jiggly parts show again. However, your post has helped me to remember that this is a journey. And just like any journey it has ups and downs. I’m in a down moment and have climb back up again to get to where i want to be. Once I get there, I can once again set my sight on some place else. Your freedom and desire to reveal your vulnerabilities have sparked a real conversation that will likely touch the lives of many as we engage in this post. Again, I thank you and I think tomorrow, I will remember this post as I dance around the pole at my studio and I will come home and look at me in my own mirror without the “cover of darkness.” Thank you Veena!
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Wow I can’t believe I’ve missed this post!!! My world had been completely turned upside down even to the pint where the thought of poling depressed me… I was opening up a studio with some friends, and like most partnerships, they fall apart… Not only did I lose my closest friends (who ended up not being who I thought they were to begin with) but I also felt like pole now was tainted with all this heart ache as I lost my dream of owning a studio! I lost strength and stopped making progress but had to remind myself that my dream was to wow people with what pole can be and with the strength and grace I thought I would learn and show, not to simply own a building with poles in it. I am finally ( and I mean literally this week) really trying again and actually having fun with pole again… This really can be a beautiful journey and I’m back to wanting to be the best poler I can be but also enjoying the strength and empowerment that it originally brought me!!! Sorry for the rant but thank you for the post! I forget how much pole really speaks to my heart and this was a great way to remind me!!!
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Brilliant post Veena – u always manage to provide advice, support or insight into real issues that affect us all. Thank you for sharing with us 🙂
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Thank you so much everyone! You never know how things will be received when you open yourself up like this, so it’s a relief and honor to read all of your replies. I really hope we can continue to encourage each other to pole for the love of pole and not for glory or status. I’ve seen beautiful dancers leave pole dance because they felt left behind and I don’t want anyone to feel left out, it’s a terrible feeling. I want pole dance to be a positive experience and be a source of pride, because even a pole sit is a challenge in the beginning!!
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