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Newbie Here! Too akward and not in shape enough for pole dancing?
Hello! I'm new here and I've only just started with pole dancing. I've only taken 2 classes (each at different studios in my small town ) and both times I've gotten the feeling that I'm too big and clunky for it.
Both times while the classes stated "beginners" I was the only one who was new. While everyone else was spinning along, the teachers seemed frustrated with me. BOTH times I was just left in the back doing 'pole ups' while watching the rest of the class.
The first class I took I was told that I wasn't "in shape" enough and I needed to work on that if I was going to enjoy pole dancing.
The 2nd class didn't mention my lack of streanth, but they did say that it was more of an "advanced beginner" class and that I was "very behind" the other students.
I'm going to buy a pole when I get payed on Friday, but I have to say going to two DIFFERENT studios and both times beging shoved in the back doing "pole ups" after I couldn't do any basic spins It has me a little down.
Is there something wrong with me?
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27 Replies
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nothing is wrong with you! those classes were just too advanced for you- and it sounds like they were kind of rude about it. you either need to find a real beginner's class or just do some practicing at home. Those teachers could have offered you a private lesson or two. I think some pole dance teachers may be good at pole, but may not be good " teachers". Teachers are supposed to encourage students and make them feel good about learning. not shove you in the corner. dont give up https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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Ditto–NOTHING is wrong with you. I am a teacher and I'm sorry they were rude and made you doubt your abilities. 🙁 I love, love, love to teach beginners–I love the 'beginners mind' and the sense that anything is possible and the newness of the journey…don't let doubt set in yet (cause it will happen lol) and I send you good pole vibes! GL to you!
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Thanks! I'm going to order a pole on Friday and start out with some of the basic viseos on here. I don't want to be discouraged! I know that I can get this~
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Another vote for "nothing is wrong with you." I was fortunate enough to start poling at a great studio with a supportive instructor. Then I moved away, and figured I could just find another studio in my new town. After all, it's just like finding a new supermarket or hairdresser, right?
Wrong! I tried another studio near my new place. It seemed OK in the beginning, but during the class I got very lost because it was a fast paced cardio dance class with a few pole tricks thrown in. The instructor made a lot of nasty faces at me in the mirror, and even spoke to me after class in front of everyone and said "you could be good, but you need a LOT of work." This was my first class ever at her studio! What a thing to say – I felt so ashamed. Needless to say, I never went back.
I used to teach fitness classes (not pole) and I know how hard to teach a beginner class. Unless you get a steady stream of new students, you will always have to balance the needs of total newbies with the needs of students who are just shy of being ready for an intermediate class. It sounds like this instructor did not do a good job at this task. The wonderful thing about Studio Veena is, you go at your own pace, with an infinitely patient instructor who doesn't care if you hit "replay" over and over again. 🙂 Plus, everyone here is interested in your success!
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my first class didnt go so good – the poles were all on spinny and within 10 minutes after we started learning spins, i was soooo nauseaus! i had to sit down for most of the class and i felt sick for the remainder of the night. the teacher could have put my pole on static, or taught me something else to do other than spin, but she just kind of focused on everyone else. i felt kinda shitty, but thankfully there was another lady that had the same reaction, so i at least i wasn't alone.
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Oh gosh, please don't feel discouraged! I started pole because I had no (I mean zip, zilch, nada) upper body strength– every time we practiced a spin, I could barely make it halfway around and would sink to the pole. I had a very frustrating instructor who didn't understand (or remember) what it was like to be a beginner and she would get frustrated at me, thinking I wasn't taking her advice! It takes time and experimenting to learn what moves are supposed to feel like, to build strength to do them, and have the confidence and concentration to make them look pretty!
Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. Just keep trying, keep looking silly, but enjoy it and you'll get stronger and more graceful before you know it! 🙂
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wow this is something an instructor never tell their students… , maybe buy a pole and take the veena lessons instead !
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There's nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong with those studios. I'm the clutziest most uncoordinated person on the planet. I went in totally out of shape and couldnt even climb the pole and now, one year later, I'm doing all sorts of crazy stuff. You just need to push past the first few classes. They are always the hardest strength wise. Everyone progresses at their own rate so there is no being "behind". If you can't find a studio near you that is better than those studios then you can just be a home poler. Lots of people do that.
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I agree with everyone else; there's nothing wrong with you!
If you're feeling a little behind the other students in class, perhaps you could invest in your own pole and some of Veena's lessons? She will start you right at the beginning of strength training that will be essential throughout your pole journey. Plus, with your own pole you can practice at home if/when you go back to studio lessons!
Just remember we were all new and lacked strength and felt awkward on the pole at some point! Even those instructors https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I agree with what everyone has shared.
*ouch*… those instructors were extremely demotivating. We can always improve our skills and gain new skills. You level of fitness and strength and dance confidence can improve with practice.
We all progress at our own speed. If you have a goal to pole dance, don't let anyone stop you. You've come to the right place.
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I teach a beginner class that will have a mix of ladies who are brand new to it and need to learn the very basics and ladies who are almost ready to "test out" to intermediate with their wrist sit, pencil spin, handstands, and planks. I try my best to set the class up with my true newbies on poles next to each other. It is quite a balancing act keeping everyone engaged and having a good time. I have to demonstrate and teach one side of the room, let them have at it, then turn around and demonstrate and teach something else to the other side of the room. Then I have to critique everything going on around me, check for proper form in all areas, and keep the feeling in the room upbeat and positive. It is not easy but I manage! I believe I make everyone feel encouraged and like they can do it. I'm sorry that you encountered such insensitive teachers. I've had ladies who are very out of shape in my class, but I am excited that they are there! Pole will get them in shape and I am there to guide them. I know how to modify moves to get them involved, not just pole-ups. We do modified fireman spin, step-arounds, pirouettes, pole sits from the ground, and we try one climb up just to see how it goes, for fun! I guess what I'm saying is, you can most certainly pole dance. Do not let a couple unimaginative insensitive teachers make you feel like you can't. You just couldn't do what they were teaching, but they weren't teaching appropriate moves for you! Use Veena's lessons… they are phenomenal and you can progress at your own pace. However fast or slow that pace is, be glad that you are actually doing it!
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I have been poling dancing for a year and a half. I am by NO means where I want to be. My inverts are not strong at all so i refrain from doing them. I have listened to my body and I could probably push myself harder than I do, but I am personally terrified of injuring myself so I have taken my journey especially slow. I know what my limits are.. Its not about how many spins and tricks you can do- its about enjoying what you do while you are doing it 🙂
The credit that I can give myself is that I have come a long way from when i first started…
Just to give you an idea of how out of shape and weak I was- it took me 3 months to be able to climb properly and all the way to the top of the pole. That was going to a class once a week. Not really doing any strength training like I should have been. This was before I found Veenas site.
I have read blogs where some teachers on here say they have had students take up to two years to be able to invert properly- and some only two months, but it is possible no matter where your fitness level stands now..
I promise it will get better… There have been days in the past that I have shed tears about pole until I found this site and read blogs about other polers and their journey!!
It really is a personalized sport…
Do what makes you happy!
And I agree with everyone else- There is nothing wrong with you 😉 -
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Those “teachers ” lacked their skills to do their job. So the only way for them to deal with you as a beginner, (and there really shouldn’t be that much difference in being a beginner,whether it be “advanced” or a”fresh start”, still it could’ve been handled differently.
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Please before going to this other class TALK to the owner/instructor and explain your abilities and issues. In no way should an instructor make you feel out of place but at the same time if someone does not speak up and say something how does the studio know that you were unhappy? I have been in this situation with students and while difficult, there are other things that can be shown besides pull ups. All of the beginner spins can be done with your feet on the ground to start out. There are bends and turns and walks and hair flips and body rolls and soooooooo many transitions that can be worked on. I was lucky that my mixed class was more than happy to take some time to rework moves they had learned or work it on their opposite side.
One last thing, please enter this new class as if you were entering one for the first time. Do not take the issues you have had at these other studios and walk in with a chip on your shoulder. It is not fair. And again, I strongly urge you to talk to the owner/instructor and to also talk to teh owner of teh otehr studios and tell them how you feel.
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People should know how to treat people and you should not have to tell them that for them to know it. Those instructors were not sensitive to your needs and rudely didnt seem to care. I'm glad my instructor wasnt like that. In my beginer class I was consider the thick chick because everyone else was much smaller than I. I didnt let that stop me tho. I put on my big girl panties and did what I could and what I couldnt, oh well imma keep it going. I am proud to say that I have been poling for almost 2yrs now. I'm not great by no means but I'm a long way from where I was. My inverts arent great and there are loads of low level spins that I still havent mastered but guess what there are also loads that I can do and I am very proud of that. Dont let them still your joy. If being a pole dancer is your goal then shoot for the moon. Luv what you do and do what you luv. Keep going I am!https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
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You shouldn't have to feel that something is "wrong with ." If the instructors make you feel that way, I don't think you should go back to that studio and surround yourself with that kind of negativity. Everyone learns at their own pace and pole dancing is hard! Keep trying and good luck! =]
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I am just going to speak up here and then I will shut up. No one "makes you feel" a certain way. The way you feel is your direct response to a situation. If you did not like the emotional response that came over you then you and only you have the power to change that.
I don't know you from Adam. But I do know that I have had students that smiled and went along with a class when they were miserable. I have had students go from having a good time to breaking down in tears and feeling worthless. I did not MAKE those students feel that way, they did. I have told numerous students that you need a certain amount of strength to do moves but then I give them the foundation to build that strength. When an instructor tells you that you need to be in shape to do a certain move then you should have asked what you needed to work on to get there. We are in charge of our own destinies and we are in charge of our own emotions. ASK for what you want.
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Chem, my mom used to tell me that no one can hurt you unless you choose to let them… I'm guessing thats on the same level. I let myself by hurt… did then still do… don't want to be "heartless" just want to "use my heart less"!
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Miss Fire, there is nothing wrong with you, there is however something seriously wrong with the way you have been treated. Everyone has a starting point and they are all different. Don't get discouraged, Veenas lessons can help you build the strength and stamina and confidence in yourself that you want…. because we all want to be confident. Don't give up we are here for you.
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Chem I agree and disagree with you. I disagree with no one making you feel a certain way because what someone says to you good or bad you do have a feeling about it and its based on what was told to you. If I'm already uncertain but putting forth an effort and you make me feel worse by not giving me any sort of encoragement but only tell me about the wrong in me. I'm gong to feel bad. People dont realize that words can hurt. The tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body. As a newbie trying something how do I know what to ask for? I want to learn and its the instructors job is to teach me and show me not break me down or point out the fact that I'm out of shape. I know that and thats why I'm here for you to help me I should not have to ask for your help I came to class for it. You may not be that kind of instructor but clearly those she referenced were and you cant fault her for not speaking up. Her confidence level hasnt reached pole perfect yet but in time with good instruction and better support it will and there will be no stopping her.
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The first instructor told her that she was out of shape and would enjoy pole dancing better if she was more fit (is this not true?) and the second instructor told her that the class was more of an advanced beginner and that she was quite far behind the rest of the students . Both statemements were truthful and while none of us know the tone of voice that was used or the body language, just based on what was written we are all jumping to conclusions that the instructors did something wrong. I am sure that the first instructor probably could have used more tact with her delivery but in no way did either of these instructors directly put her down…again, BASED ON WHAT WAS WRITTEN BY THE OP. The responses thus far have been attacking the instructors and not focusing on what the real issue is…this member took a class and left feeling low. We should be focusing on helping this member. What if the instructors she is talking about were people you know or took classes with and held in high regard? Would all of the responses here be the same?? What is she was talking about Karol, or Alethea, or Jenyne or you name the current pole star….what would your response be?
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Ok Chem, you got me! lol You are correct.
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Well, Alethea told me in a chair dance class before it started, “I know that your the oldest person here, so just try your best!”. I know she meant well, it was the truth and she was telling me don’t get discouraged in a way. I could have taken it the wrong way, but I didn’t. I still smile when I think of it. And it was a young man and woman who both flipped their chairs during the class, not me! I would take a class again with Alethea any day! 🙂
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@Lyme Lyte, I would faint or pee myself if Alethea said ANYTHING to me. You are so lucky!
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Well I think we are helpin our fellow member with all the encouraging words letting her know that there is nothing wrong with her, her size or her ability. Its just a learning process. Also I think when she wrote that the teachers seemed to be fustrated with her is the reason we jumped on the band wagon that they did do somehting wrong. Even if she wasnt as advanced as the rest or in shape enough I feel that no instructor should just leave an interested person to just watch or do pole ups. I am assuming she paid for these clasess and for her money thats all she got? Now I understand that with a class full of skilled individuals you can't just spend all your time with just one. But please dont just leave her hanging in the wind leave her wanting more and by what was written neither teacher did that. Also if the teacher in question was the current pole star I would be ashamed because I hope that they would remember what it felt like before they got so famous and how their mentor treated them at the begining. I hope my comments are not being taken to heart but I feel so passionately by how she felt. Being a plus size myself starting out I completely feel her pain. I hope all who read this teachers especially just try to keep in mind what you want a new student to leave with after taking your class.
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