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My husband just doesn’t GET it…
michaelaarghh replied 12 years, 5 months ago 23 Members · 53 Replies
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My significant other was completely supportive of me going to my classes when I first started and he asked how it was each time I came home. It wasn't until ~2 months after I started that I was able to show him what I learned. He saw that it was a positive influence in my life and it generally made me a happier person.
We didn't have a pole at home at the time and I didn't find the perfect outdoor pole until we were on vacation. When I had the chance, I showed him the fireman and a few other spins. His jaw dropped since that exceeded his expectations of what I was learning in class. Three years later and I still remember his words: "I thought you were just learning to bump and grind on a pole". -_-
I thought that was funny since he had no idea what I was learning but still supported me regardless.
Maybe he just doesn't understand the purpose of having it or what you're learning in your classes. Hopefully he'll come around once he sees how passionate you are about this!
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Ahhh he paid for me to to take a class tomorrow morning. Maybe just to shut me up, or maybe to support me, lol,but i'm in a class!! I think he will 'get' it once he sees me do moves at home.
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He finally told me the answer!!! He is just upset he can’t afford to buy me the pole I want now. 🙂 good to know it isn’t just anger or something
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@ quirkygrl16 I'm glad you have support from your hubby and you started classes…i don't have the money to take classes yet so sometimes i try to do alil strengthening at the playground on the monkey bars pole lol. When i told my mom and aunt some months ago that i was thinking about taking pole classes bc it was something i always wanted to do my aunt laughed at me and it almost made me cry but i didn't i just simply said I'm serious and you're laughing ok(I'll show you)…but my mom was like well do it. Recently I was thinking maybe i should just give up…but I came across this quote "If no ones laughing at your dream, then your dream isn't big enough" then i decided I'm not going to give up. sorry for the long story but i wanted to say that you will get your pole in time; i see that you have that passion for it 🙂
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@ quirkygrl16 I'm glad you have support from your hubby and you started classes…i don't have the money to take classes yet so sometimes i try to do alil strengthening at the playground on the monkey bars pole lol. When i told my mom and aunt some months ago that i was thinking about taking pole classes bc it was something i always wanted to do my aunt laughed at me and it almost made me cry but i didn't i just simply said I'm serious and you're laughing ok(I'll show you)…but my mom was like well do it. Recently I was thinking maybe i should just give up…but I came across this quote "If no ones laughing at your dream, then your dream isn't big enough" then i decided I'm not going to give up. sorry for the long story but i wanted to say that you will get your pole in time; i see that you have that passion for it 🙂
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I have friends that make fun of me to but it makes me work harder screw them I know what I am capable of
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I have friends that make fun of me to but it makes me work harder screw them I know what I am capable of
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I have friends that make fun of me to but it makes me work harder screw them I know what I am capable of
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Hmm I wonder, does he spend any money at all on Cable TV, internet or going out to a bar for the game with guys? Do you spend any money on those things?
While my husband is supportive of just about anything I do… if it has to come out of "our" finances and we have to budget for it, then it is fair for my part of the budget to be for pole and his part cable TV for football games.
If this kind of scenario is not possible, you might have to scrimp on eating out, pedi's mani's trips, clothes and gas running around town to score a pole.
The pole will last you a life time of happiness and possibilities. There is always room to do in life what you want if you are willing to sacrifice to get it.
Pole usually is worth it! Keep an eye on Craigs list or here in the classifieds for second hand poles for sale!
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I think I’ve figured out another aspect of what’s up: he is jealous i have an escape from work and he doesn’t. I told him its time we find him a hobby; be it going to the gun range, hunting,or even paintball. We had to give him a release from work.
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Quirky Quirky Qwirky… you are missing the opportunity in front of you! Get him in some little spangly shorts, take him to your studio and get him to have a go on the pole himself (ok, maybe not the shorts). Imagine – a husband-wife doubles team… matching outfits, cheering crowds… 😛
I just had a pole put up as a surprise from my partner, and he hasn't been able to get off it – shoulder mounts and flags – what an opportunity for him to use his man-strength.
Or… the gun range. Whatever works 🙂
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Hahahaha he had my sparkly keys yesterday and was dancing around. I told him if he keeps that up he will be on the pole! XD ah well, I gotta get him to the gun range
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When I first started pole class, I told my husband I wanted a pole. He put it off and put it off. I found what I wanted and kept asking him about it. I thought it was about the money, but that wasn't what mattered. He is generally not one to care about personal image, but he was initially a little afraid of what others might think if they saw the pole or heard my blabbermouth 5yr old son talk about it. With that in mind, there was dispute as to where the pole would go were I to ever get one. He didn't want it anywhere that would be seen by average visitor. It was a huge debacle but finally settled on a guest bedroom. With bed turned to side up against wall, I have plenty of room to spin (>5 1/2 on all sides), and nobody has to see it. We were both finally happy with the location, and it was okay after that. I've even had guests stay over and everyone is cool with sleeping in room with pole. I do have removable x-pole, but I don't take it down. The reason I thought my husband was against it was absolutely wrong, so you just have to get out of him what exactly the issue is 🙂
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Yes, definitely find him a hobby. When I told my man that I wanted a pole, he was all over it because I had finally found something that I am interested in. Of course though, we did have financial issues but that never stops us from doing the things we love. On that note, I have never knocked back anything that he has wanted to do.
If you love something, don't let it go. If it's a pole you want, you will work around it. Perhaps associate your pole dancing with something that he loves doing. For example, my partner loves racing and has recently spent time playing with his car (man toy). Get him into something and perhaps he won't mind the idea of you getting a pole. 🙂
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Just stress the point that it is a total body workout that can transform your body and mind. It's a lot cheaper than a gym membership or pole classes and the savings in gas driving back and forth. Maybe offer him something, a nice dance or two, a couple massages, make a coupon book of stuff you'll do "wink" "wink" and give it to him, etc… Oh the fun you'll have and money you'll save by buying your own pole 🙂
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To all of you with partners who doesn't get it, don't show them this ;). Simply too much home poling going wrong:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HqyLzzhQbUI'm just so in love with 6:02. That guy looks pretty surprised when the sofa table just falls to the ground haha.
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When. First wanted one four years ago. No one understood. I got it while in collegr and my sister threw away my carmen elektra pink pole. It was abt 120.. few years later i got excite abt doing it again and this yr for my birthday my husband got me a 150 dollar one from spencers. Ive read reviews that this isnt the best pole, but i can do tricks easily without feeling like i might hurt myself. Had a handyman locate our joist then my hubby screwd it into ceiling and voila. I dnt have the funds to afford a 300 dollar pole or classes, but im learning well on my own. I uploaded one pic.
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Funny I have the opposite problem lol I have a pole but he sees no reason for me to take classes. He seems to think im going through a health kick phase.
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@Verticali: Yes pretty funny, but I'm not sure what it's doing in a pole-fail compilation since there's no pole. As a matter of fact I happened to watch that scene when it was uploaded in youtube, with the original audio (It was titled as pole dancing also then). Just seeing it in the fail montage one could almost have believed it was arranged, but hearing her scream in the original version when she discovered the guys took out any doubt haha :).
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I'd never show him that video!! That's already a fear of his!! (That i'll die and the pole will come crashing down XD)
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