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Insulted by a mean girl
I usually take my Thrusdays and Fridays to make some freestyle videos of my poling. I wait all week to do this, it’s now my only recreation and time for myself, I prepare my music, my outfit and I get lost on the pole. Most of my videos are at my YouTube Channel. Last Tuesday I received many emails from Google saying there was activity on my videos (comments) I usually receive two or three comments per week but suddenly there were a lot of comments from the same person ANDRESSA DICK. I got to my channel enthusiastic just to find out that this girl spent so many hours insulting me and my videos in Portuguese, at first I couldn’t understand the comments but as my mother language is Spanish, after reading them many times I realized this mean girl was insulting me in a very nasty way. I looked for translation of the words I couldn’t understand at all, just to be surprised how people can be so evil.
Not happy just insulting me, she dislike every one of my videos, that’s the reason of so many emails from google.
I just can not imagine myself, treating others the way this girl did to me. She is very pretty young lady, I looked at her google account, but has a very dark soul and a terrible mouth. I’m 44 years old and I think I’ve never felt so bad of myself because of someone I don’t even know. I deleted the nasty and mean comments she made, but the videos kept the dislikes. I reported and blocked her from my activities but she left this feeling of insecurity inside me. It’s Thrusday and I don’t want to jump into the pole anymore. -
34 Replies
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this is why Im scared to post videos on youtube. anyone can watch or comment. if youre gonna post on youtube it might be better to completely disable all comments. sadly, that excludes those who want to leave good comments. But there are millions of people on youtube and it leaves you open to comments from people who leave mean comments for fun. their comments really have nothing to do with you, you just happen to be the venueI for their “fun”. some people are able to easily disregard and brush off nasty comments. If you are not one of those people then you will want to protect your feelings. I feel that studioveena is a safe place to post videos. you are surrounded by supportive people who actually pole. if you really want to post on youtube, maybe disabling all comments is best. I dont know alot about posting on youtube. I dont know if there is a way to make your channel private or something like that. maybe someone else here will know and can offer suggestions. I watch Sienna Spalding on youtube. she is a poler, instructor, performer, dancer, singer, and her channel is pretty popular. she responds to her commenters pretty regularily. Maybe reach out to someone like that on youtube and ask them how they handle rude/nasty comments. She is really sweet and responds to her commenters frequently. Also, I’m sure Veena will have good advice. She has this website and also her channel on youtube. She seems to handle these things well. It seems like the less you feed into these trolls the less likely it is that they will hang around. Probably ignoring and deleting their comments is the way to go. But this has already negatively affected you and has even discourage you from doing what you love and that makes me feel sad and concerned for you. I’ve seen your videos here and there is nothing to insult or criticize so you need to know that those comments dont really apply to you. they dont. whatever they were… but I know that after reading them it is hard to just ignore them. so now you’ve got to learn how to process them in a way that doesnt hurt you or completely shield and protect yourself from even receiving comments like that. its really up to you. Youtube might not be the venue for you or maybe disabling comments will be better for you. Or if you feel you can adapt and adjust you might be able to teach yourself to disregard these comments. I’m guessing talking to someone like Veena or others who have dealt with these issues will give you insight as to how to do that. I personally havent posted my videos on youtube so I dont know how it feels. But it is something I have been thinking about. I know other girls here have youtube channels. Anyways, I hope you are able to brush off those comments because there is nothing wrong with you or your dancing and you are not deserving of insults. I’m so sorry that this person did this to you. Also, you just dont know who these people really are. This could be some dumb 12 year old kid who thinks they are just having fun being a bully. I think you should dance like you usually do on Thursdays and maybe just post here until you figure out how you want to handle this. you are always welcomed and supported here. )
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Thank you Phoenix Hunter for your supporting words! Your idea of disable comments is good, I think there is a way to approve comments before they post by themselves. I also think I have to work with this sensible me Jaja. And yes, there most be lot of people out there just hurting others feelings for fun. So Sad 🙁 that’s why the world is so crazy and without peace. I’m a teacher and of course I have dealt with difficult girls sometimes but this particular case hurt me, a lot.
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I can only imagine how hurtful that was. 🙁 I dont know if I could handle that well. I think I’m too sensitive to brush things like that off. I dont know how others do it.
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Do not let the trolls on the internet kill your mojo! All they are looking for is a reaction. We are not listening to them , we are watching you be you.
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First of all, I want to tell you how exquisite you are!!! You are extremely creative! Your dances are over and beyond beautiful and you mesmerize me every time!!! I’m 46 and it’s taken me a very long time to understand something… ” hurt people , hurt people ” When people have to hurt others like that it’s simply because they are hurting sooo bad that it makes them feel better about themselves to hurt others. It’s like they are on the ground and they want to pull you down too. You must not allow that!! It would be CRIMINAL if you stopped dancing because of this person !!!! Plus! we would all miss you !!!! I think you are amazing and I would sadly miss your videos 💜
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Oh Bigkitty12560 Thank you very much!! You are so very kind and sweet to me!! and you are also totally right about people! I think they are getting worst every day, I don’t remember as child that people hate each other just for fun as I happens now
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I just wanted to add something because it bothers me that you are hurting and I get that big time! But with dealing with this idiot, I think the best resolution to this is to go about your day as you normally would and make an AMAZING video as you always do!!! I can assure you , you will feel good 💪
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Pinky promise I will @bigkitty12560, I don’t know if an amazing one, but I’ll do my best 🙂
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Awww! So cute… Pinky promise, now you just inspired me to get off the couch and dance! This one’s for you!!!😉
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I think that kind of behaviour is just toxic and more of a reflection of them… you are beautiful, and so graceful!
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As Tara Lee pointed, that behaviour says more about them than it does about you.
You are very brave to post videos on social outlets. It sucks that these trolls hidden behind a computer screen can affect us this much.
Their view is definately not of value. As someone mentioned, studio Veena is a much more safer environment. For some reason, people are much more opinionated on social media and they are not afraid to speak their minds.
Unfortunately people have forgotten the good old saying of ‘if you’ve got nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all’
I hope you feel better about yourself.
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Thank you @TaraLee and bformosa922163 you are wise girls!!! 🙂
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I hope to see a video from you tomorrow-you are awesome!!!
Fuck ANDRESSA DICK… You pole for you and how it makes you feel, nothing else matters… -
HAHAHAHA thank you @shelliebelly I just uploaded a video dedicated to all you girls, @shelliebelly sorry your name is not included but consider your self in the list!!!!!! https://youtu.be/qG3Sp3ndmgc DEDICATED TO ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD AND TO YOU GIRLS FOR YOUR KIND WORLDS AND SUPPORT!!! YOU ARE THE BEST
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I’m sorry this happened, and it’s normal to feel bad, but as others mentioned it’s not worth your energy to let her get to you.
I have totally been there! Back before I started SV I was harassed and bullied on my old YT channel by other pole dancers! In fact many of my videos would be flagged so they couldn’t be viewed by everyone, it’s one of the reasons I started a new channel. People can be cruel. That hurt, mostly because I had felt like I had finally found something that fit ME and I could be part of a group. I ended up feeling very alone. That is why it’s so important to me that SV is a place of kindness and support!
Keep doing what you love, you never know who you may inspire by sharing yourself, but only share if you’re prepared to ignore negativity. If I hadn’t been treated so poorly I may not have realized that SV needed to have a focus on kindness, so I’m grateful to them!! 💜💜
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Oh Veena, so sorry you had suffered all that bullying, people can be so cruel….. I’m so happy I found your site, It’s been one of the best experiences in my life to discover pole, it makes me so proud of myself every time I accomplish a new trick, and I felt so bad that the videos I considered were the best had so terrible and disgusting comments. Thank you all of you girls for your support and thank you Veena for all your teaching and for sharing your experience. You made possible this dream!
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I’m the same age as you and have admired your lovely figure and dancing in your videos. I aspire to be as strong and polished as you one day. Do not stop doing the thing that makes you happy. Lots of love x
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Thank you Adventures of Alice! You are very kind 🙂
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Aww babe I’m sorry that happend. But don’t let it get to you. In all honestly it probably wasn’t really meant towards you. She really didn’t think you sucked. Alot of ppl on youtube ( and I had a friend Like this..) She would spend hours on YouTube randomly picking ppls channels and saying mean crap to them. Just to piss ppl off. If you look at her activity somehow she’s prob leaving mean comments on a lot of peoples pages. It’s what some ppl do on YouTube they think it’s fun. I forget what they are called but that’s seriously they’re fun time and it’s stupid lol. So please please dont let her make you feel insecure. It could have been anyone you just happend to be picked. It has nothing to do with you. How you look or how you dancem they are just dumb an calling this fun.
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Now go jump on that pole and have fun!!!!
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First of all, wow Veena, I’m shocked that other pole dancers were treating you that way! Secondly, DanZin, I’m with Phoenix Hunter: I don’t post my vids on YouTube for just that reason. I know myself and that it could possibly ruin my day to read negative comments like that.
I really try to be proactive to stay away from negativity. That’s why I pretty regularly suspend my account on Facebook. It gets to be an emotional drain for me. All the sort of phoniness, insensitivity, and straight up rudeness takes from me but gives nothing positive. Plus, people just wouldn’t say plenty of what they say on social media, in person. They just wouldn’t. And it’s true, miserable people are mean. I honestly just quietly feel bad for unkind people and think of how sad they must be. I know that’s cliche, but it’s true. I’m one of those “be authentic wherever I am” kind of people. I’ve never understood being rude and nasty on social media.
Please, do not let insecure folks discourage you from what you love! If you do, they win. In fact, I would channel that hurt energy into a dance to express how I feel. I’m looking forward to seeing your videos 🙂
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You are totally right about mean comments draining our energy, and I think “we” dancers are more sensitive, if we were not, we just wouldn’t have the sensibility to dance! It’s a strange world
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@XxMyztikxX I just found out due to your comments (all girls comments) that really there are people on the internet just leaving crap comments to others, so sad. But thanks to you (all girls) I am now realizing that all this was not about me but about how she feels!!! It’s so good to have a place where we can share and find support from others. @JoleneBell I will not let her drain my energy with her negativity. I’ve learn a lot in this couple days and I know I have to work on my security and self-esteem.
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DanZinDuck, I went through that when I first started 9 years ago. I already had no self esteem, or confidence. I was wearing gym shorts and a tank top, people were making comments like “Put your clothes on old lady, that’s disgusting”! among other nasty comments. If Veena, and Joel (Poledancefan)hadn’t commented to encourage me to keep going, I would not be where I am today! I learned to ignore them, and go where the positive reinforcement was. I was elated when Veena started SV! I will be 60 this new years eve, I have owned and taught in my own studio for 5 years now. So forget the trolls, do your thing, and do it unapologetic-ally!!! 🙂
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