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DoubleD’s Dilemma
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I've definitely gotten reactions like those you describe, Ninja. Usually I'm quick to point out to the disadvantages associated with my chest size.
"I wish I had boobs as big as yours!"
"You say that now, but come swimsuit shopping with me sometime."I try to be sensitive, though. For many women, curves are a symbol of femininity. I can understand how women who have string-bean bodies or who aren't well-endowed in the breast department feel less feminine because of it. (That's a big part of the problem I have with the "real women have curves" campaigns; non-curvy women are real women too.)
I know what it's like to not feel feminine. Before pole, I was not very in touch with my feminine side and often felt I had trouble relating to women because I didn't feel, well, woman enough. Even with huge breasts and a decent ass! I did not feel very "female" on the inside.
Not only that, but there is sexual/social status involved with having large breasts. In our "bigger is better" culture, it's assumed that women with big tits have better luck with men. They get more attention, are more desirable, and stand out in crowds. What some women who have never experienced large-breastitude don't always realize is that, well, we don't necessarily want all that extra attention. Sure, we might have an advantage getting that cute guy across the bar to notice us, but not before every other creeper in the place has undressed us with his eyes, touched or groped us, or made some sort of comment to let us know he noticed our boobs before anything else on us.
It's a grass is always greener thing for sure.
I admit I've had some fun with it, too, though. I have a guy friend who has motorboating privileges. 😉 And at parties in college, I used to stick a bottle of drink in my cleavage and lean back to drink it with no hands. A couple weeks ago I attended a drag show, and BOY did the drag queens give a lot of attention to my boobs (to be fair, I was wearing them high and tight – cleavage ahoy!).
I've been thinking about a reduction since I was still a teen, but it wasn't until this past summer that I actually *decided* to go for it, after Husband and I decided we're not planning to have kids. I was sort of shocked to feel a little panicky after I made the choice – I didn't realize I'd come to identify with my breasts. I'm used to being a woman with big boobs, used to the comments and attention (welcome or unwelcome), used to commiserating with my well-breasted sisters… I'd been so focused on the physical benefits of the surgery, I'd not considered that it could affect my identity and sense of self.
Like, if you woke up tomorrow and were a B cup, you'd probably be physically and emotionally relieved – but wouldn't it be strange to see yourself that way? Would you recognize yourself without your boobs? Might you miss them, even a little bit?
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OK, the Curvaceous Tula Top from Mika came in the mail yesterday. And…did not fit. 🙁 It was great around the ribs, but still not enough material to hold everything in. I thought I'd take a chance because it said the XL could fit up to 36DD, and I'm 38… but no.
I'm still going to hang onto it, though, because I think I could layer it over one of my aging, fading sports bras, and it matches my pole shorts. And who knows, when I get the reduction, I might be able to use it by itself.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least now I know a Mika XL is not XL enough. *Sigh* back to the drawing board… wish I knew how to sew…
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You might consider a soft cup bikini or tankini top from Freya. They are the only bathing suits I wear anymore. They come in a lot of cute colors and are sized by your bra measurement. Also, you can wear them on the beach and in the pool… so it's easier to justify the purchase. 🙂
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And if it makes you feel any better, I just ordered two minimizer bras to try (in an attempt to make a blazer fit properly over my bust) and I'll have to mail them both back. Not only are they uncomfortable, but they don't minimize at all… I think they make me look bigger!
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I love this thread! Thank you for starting it.
I used to be a 38H – nursing twins, so there was some serious work going on there. My normal size is 36DD, but for the life of me I can't find great bra's or tops. Acceptable ones, yes, but nothing that is fun or cute or flirty, everything looks so industrial and sturdy -ugh!
I have always said that if I could donate to the "less fortunate" I would, in a heartbeat, but I haven't every stopped to consider the personal identity associated with being a large breasted woman. Good thought provoking idea Pankake! It's something I'll be mulling over for a while.
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My DDs are a double pain in my ass…..oh, to have smaller breasts!
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Lyme- Oh, to have Double D's again! lol!
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Also, ladies, I thought we would all appreciate this!
http://bustygirlcomics.com/tagged/comics
I can relate to… a lot of these. I think all of us can! I also liked her little thing in this website about "Am I busty enough?"
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I LOVE BustyGirlComics! Been a while since I visited. Thanks for linking!
Karencanclimb – Acceptable but industrial/sturdy – I think you hit the nail on the head there. I had a bikini like that once. Did the job, and was a nice color, but the design – well, the underwire was visible and it clipped in the back like a bra. Ugh.
Lyme, I could be wrong but I thought you read you'd had an explantation? Or am I thinking of Tarah?
Ninja, I'll have to check it out. I think for now I'm done spending money on myself, though. Holidays and all that. But maybe for summertime…
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No that wasn’t me…..my concern is if I did go smaller, I think it would make my butt look bigger.
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My concern is that when I'm smaller, my tummy flub is going to be harder to ignore. That's why I've resolved to try to get my body in great shape before I go in for surgery. For one, I won't be able to pole for several months during recovery (the push/pull movements of pole are a super no-no) and for two, I don't want to be like "Well, OK, now the boobs are right but the rest is all wrong!"
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