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Big girls on the pole
Right.. so I’m not exactly small. I’m 5’3 and weight over 200lbs. I’m deperately trying to lose weight at the moment, and pole has been my only saving grace for the whole process, but I’m nervous.
I’m currently doing the 30 day take off, and I’ve finished my first week. I’m sore; and still feel like I’m failing. I can barely lift my own weight in a push up, let alone in a pole hold.
Are there any other bigger pole dancers, either beginners of advanced who can help me find the motivation? cuz I’m afraid that all I see are thin women (you’re gorgeous, I’m not bashing that), who leave me a bit dazed at how on earth I an achieve some of those things… thanks! -
24 Replies
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Check out some videos of Emma Haslam, she’s proof that bigger girls can absolutely be awesome at pole. Here’s a link to her on Britain’s Got Talent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqzUI5t9qJ4
Gaining the strength to do a lot of the moves takes a lot of time, effort and patience. It’s only your first week of the program, eventually you’ll get less and less sore, and the strength will slowly build. I couldn’t do a single push-up or pull-up when I started either. 🙂 -
Hi Rosie – I’m not small, and while I’m the biggest girl at my studio, I’d rather call myself curvaceous, sensuous… I’m 5’1″ and 180 lbs (152 cm, 80 kgs) and I started poling about 6 months ago.
In class, it always seems that all the other girls are so thin, in their cheeky short shorts and teeny tiny sports bras. Yes, I wear longer, high waist shorts and full coverage tank tops. I feel self conscious about how I look. About two weeks ago, I had the confidence to take my tank top off and remain in sports top and shorts. While I am not thin, I think I look well proportioned. I was working on my eighth class working on inverts and I was only beginning to get it. It was their first class working on inverts and they were already trying (and doing!) Gemini. When one of them caught me looking at them, her smirk seemed to say “I’m thin and that’s why I can do this.”
Needless to say, I went home feeling horrible, despite having finally done an invert.I’m relatively new here on SV, but having bought a pole and signing up to this site is probably one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I practice several times a week at home, in addition to class (I’ve started to go to a morning class instead of the evening class, with those girls!), which I keep down to once a week since I’ve joined SV. Veena’s videos are amazing. Also, I really enjoy the discussions, other girls’ videos and photos. I have yet to work up the confidence to tape myself, even for my own viewing, but I know I’ll be doing it soon enough.
One of the things, I see here girls of all sizes and levels and that really gives me a great boost of confidence. I’m progressing at my own pace (which sometimes seems really slow… took me a long time to get the pole hold and then even longer to manage my first climb!), but then coming on here and reading about other girls’ experiences gives me a boost of energy to keep getting back on the pole.
I’m really happy that you enjoy poling. Don’t let anyone say or do anything that makes you feel like you can’t. Even if you can’t do something today, doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Keep practicing. Tomorrow’s the day. If you ever need to talk, bitch or vent, feel free to contact me. 🙂
In the meantime, hug from afar. (>”)> -
Rosie. The most difficult part of getting in shape is patience. It does not happen overnight. Second you might want to speak with your doctor who should be assisting with dietary advice or a referral to a dietician. Diet is as important (sometimes more so) than exercise for weight loss.
The fact you are sore means you are using muscles and putting out effort which is fantastic. Keep up with veena’s strength & conditioning videos. They will help early on more than the moves. -
I was close to 190 pounds when I started and the change I have seen has been amazing!! I don’t know what I have lost in pounds because I have gained muscle, a lot of muscle, but I do know I fit into things I wouldnt imagine fitting into! Something I recently told my dad ( he is trying to quit drinking ). *When trying to accomplish a goal never focus on the failures, for there will be a few, but focus on the progress because as long as you keep your mind to it there will always be more progress than failure.* just never give up and you will be amazed at what your body will end up doing!! Happy Poling!!
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Everyone progresses so differently! I started out so weak, and now I’m seeing my body transform and becomes so much stronger. Everyone’s starting point will be different, and everyone’s journey will be different. The important thing is that you keep going.
The amazing Polebull posted this on her Instagram and it kind of goes with whatever is saying…
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What everyone****
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Rosie, I have been pole dancing for a year now. when I first started I couldn’t do a single push up or pole hold either. it actually took a good 3 months before I could do a respectable pole hold. I couldn’t even support my weight to do simple spins very well those first few months. Push ups? I was able to do one of those about 8-9 months into poling. I started out very week. all the girls in my class were getting things on their first try. inverts were very hard for me. I was very behind the others in my class. I’m not the thinnest girl in my studio, I’m not the biggest either. But I felt huge compared to them. I really had to quit comparing myself to others. I realized that by comparing myself to them, not only was I putting myself down, I was JUDGING them too. you are not failing. you are pushing yourself harder than you ever have before. Pole is not easy but it can be done. You have to accept that you will suck before you get better, but you must have faith that you will get better. when you finally achieve one little move that you thought was impossible you will know what I am talking about. it will be a lightbulb turning on in your head. From then on, you will know that you can achieve whatever you want as long as you keep working on it and even if you suck in the beginning. Also, you will see in this process that your own gifts and talents will shine through. And others will be asking you how you did that. You will get stronger by doing, you will get stronger by failing multiple times at a trick , then eventually you get it and it feels great. there is a progression for everything. you don’t just drop to the floor and start doing push-ups. you get on your knees and do modified push ups first. I mean that figuratively and literally. haha! 🙂
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Veena’s pole strength routine worked miracles for me, by the way. I started out only being able to do a couple of each exercise. but it helped me to get stronger. each time I did it, I pushed myself a little harder. maybe adding a couple more. But that routine has been such a blessing for me. Pole holds are not easy and it takes a while to get them. Veena has ways you can modify them and build up to them. one trick is to get into a pole hold and hold the pole between your knees, that way your legs are taking some of the weight. this will help build up your muscles. you can work on releasing your legs little by little so that more weight is in your hands. Also, you can post videos for advice if you need to. I hope you love poling as much as I do and I hope it changes your life as much as it has changed mine. 🙂
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Everyone needs to keep in mind it is not a competition. (Unless you are at a pole competition)
We all learn, grow, change, progress at a different pace. Pole Dancing unlike a lot of activities requires not just learning a skill but also physical strength, flexibility, coordination, mental concentration and a few other things. And we need to add be graceful & creative. How many activities or sports require all of them??? That is why I for one am so impressed with what people do in pole dancing. Less impressed with a linebacker or hockey player.
Each of these things we will progress at a different pace for each of us. But yet we need all of them. Plus throw in that there are several individual variables like sweaty or dry hands; different pole grip or diameter; distractions from kids, pets, spouses; and just read the discussions for more.Some will get the strength earlier. Some coordination. Some are more creative. Some (like me) don’t have any yet 🙂 There are some that have seemed to put most together quickly. But it is not a competition except maybe ourselves. We all struggle with some things or even individual moves. As we each achieve something on our Pole Dancing Adventures (great name for a comic!) there is a sense of fulfillment I am not sure most other people outside of pole can quite understand.
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Everyone has great advice! I just wanted to jump in and say that you’re not alone 😊
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You are totally not alone. I’m the biggest girl in my class (at 5’6″ 210), so believe me when I say that I understand. This is the reason why I’m working towards buying my own pole so that I don’t feel so awful at class.
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Hey there!
Well, first of all, I’ll tell you this: Being able to push yourself up AT ALL in a pushup is a big accomplishment in my eyes, because I cannot do a single one. I still need to work on it, it’s still hard. I can’t lift myself up with my arms, I can barely pole hold for more than three breaths.
First time I touched a pole was 6 years ago… and I’ve had a lot of setbacks, a lot of “hiatuses” upwards of 8 months, which really set me back!
But… I am still going at it. I am starting to get moves that I never thought possible, and I an starting to gain more and more strength.I also want to point this out: My weight and my height have NOTHING to do with my health or fitness level. I am 5′ 6″ and about 160lbs, and when I was running (I’ve had to take a month and a half off due to heat! I miss it!) I went up to 190lbs, and I was smaller than I’ve ever been. I’ve also been 180lbs and much larger than I have ever been… and it was hard to keep the weight on.
Your weight may stay the same, it might go down and then up, and it might just go down, or just go up… but your size, the physical makeup of your body, will change.
You can do this! You’re beautiful and amazing. All of you 🙂
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Don’t worry I’m on the same path. I started dancing a few months ago but had to stop bc I got super sick and my landlord ruined my pole 🙁 I’m getting a new one but haven’t kept myself in shape so I’m totally scared off my ass that I’ll suck again! Don’t give up it will get easier
As to that awesome girl I the video I wonder where she got that outfit. I must have it. lol
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Ahhh it makes me pretty sad that you girls have had a horrible experience in a studio setting with other girls’ attitudes. I am very lucky – I go to a studio where the girls are amazing and totally accepting, the instructors are incredible, and I almost consider it my second home!! I’m 5′ 6″ and currently 205lbs. I’m nowhere near the smallest in group but I’m also nowhere near the biggest. My body image issues are my own, I know that, and I’m as entitled to take part and enjoy poling as much as the next person! Regardless of my weight I find myself getting stronger and stronger and nailing more and more spins and tricks. I’m not anywhere near experienced enough yet and I’ve only just got my first invert but I believe like the others said that it’s a personal journey and everyone’s achievements will be different regardless of their weight, size and shape. A classic example is climbing – I got my climb quite quickly but can I bloody side climb?? No! A girl in my thursday night group is stick thin and really struggles to climb yet she nailed the side climb on her first attempt!!! Each to their own battles. Weight and size mean nothing – get stuck in, enjoy your achievements and keep working on the things you can’t do…… yet!
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All I will say is when you see all the “small” girls in class, don’t assume they are judging you or just magically thin. Some are just farther along in their journey, that’s all.
I am 5’2″ and used to be over 200 lbs too. Not so much at pole, but I get a lot of snotty looks and have overheard rude comments from larger women at the gym, implying that it “must be nice” to be thinner. Just like them, I worked really hard to get where I am, and I’m not about to be snotty to anyone else who is trying to get in better shape themselves.
Also, don’t equate being small with being strong…when I first lost the weight I struggled to do pushups at all. Pole made me strong, not losing weight.
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Do not be discouraged because it is hard, or you cannot physically do it right now! Make that be the driving force to prove everyone, including yourself, wrong! When I first started I could not do a pushup to save my life, and it was not because I was overweight, I was just out of shape! But I continued to work on pole, and myself, and now I have no problem with pushups. (I actually somewhat like them!)
If you do not try the things that are hard for you, you will never get better at them! Failure should not be something we fear, but something we embrace as a way of life, and use that to better ourselves in the future.
Keep working it, and you will be surprised at where you go! Also, never compare yourselves to others. Focus on yourself, your flexibility, strength and musicality. Everyone takes different amount of focus and strength for different moves. Do not be discouraged.
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Physics tells us you need more force to lift more mass. So if some things don’t come easily to you, it’s because you need much more strength than someone skinnier to execute the same move. It is what it is, nothing you can change.
I personally see it as something I need to deal with, and I almost look at it positively. All my extra weight is making my body get stronger. I’ll lose weight in due time, meanwhile I might as well milk it for all it’s worth.
As for the girls who don’t have the same struggles, I agree with others that they have their own struggles. Ignore them and focus on your journey.
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Thank you everyone for being fantastic.. Guess I’m just stressed about it all with my doctor on my case about losing weight.
I appreciate the help. Was never able to afford classes or anything major (I saved up for over 2 years before I was able to buy my pole; then a further year to buy veena’s lessons, being a student and all.) and sometimes do get discouraged. I sometimes DO need something to compare myself too, cuz I don’t see much improvement in myself. Ah well, thank you again to everyone! -
There is a very inspirational woman on FB named Roz Mays. She is a fabulous plus size pole dancer at Body and Pole in NYC and we all think she is just fabulous. If you need to feel good about yourself NOW and what you’ll be able to do SOON, check her out.
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I too am sad to hear that so many larger woman are having tough experiences in class. I am 5’3 and weigh 210lbs and I’ve been dancing for 4 years. I wear whatever I want to class–cheeky shorts and bra tops, as well as a few other fun extras. My confidence to do so came from pole dance. More than anything else, it has been a journey towards loving myself despite what others may think of my body. It takes me a touch longer to get certain tricks, mainly inversions, but that is all a part of my personal and pole journey. You have to love your body and your own experiences. Play with your strengths and keep pushing forward. Never compare your journey to others and celebrate every ounce of progress, including reaching out here on SV.
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I also recommend looking up Roz the Diva. I am taking a workshop with her in a few weeks. You have so many allies. The pole world is an incredibly diverse space. Happy Poling!
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I think anyone, any shape, any size, can learn to find their strengths and Rock the Pole! 🎸
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Hi Rosie. I like your hair in your avi photo, pink rocks!
I’m a fellow big girl, started pole dancing classes at 5’7†and 183 lbs. Can I also mention that I started when I was 37, was not really flexible or strong, and have thunder thighs and cellulite? You’re right. It sucks to not be able to move around and do moves like slimmer and/or stronger girls (and in my case younger girls!), because let’s face it, you sometimes can’t help comparing yourself to others, no matter that you know you shouldn’t. In fact, I was so self-conscious that for the first several months of going to class, I refused to wear shorts; I would just roll my sweat pants up! Like you, what kept me going was that I loved pole dancing. The choreo classes made me feel very sexy, alive, and able to achieve. Additionally, the pole dance instructor in that class was bigger than me (taller and weighed more) but she was so graceful and elegant it was an inspiration. But every time I was sore, every time I felt a callus growing, and every time I became bruised, I felt victorious. Because it meant I was getting stronger when I didn’t feel like I was getting strength, and it made me see I was progressing, even when I didn’t see any progress.
When it came to classes she didn’t teach, however, and classes that just focused on tricks and spins, I found myself getting discouraged again, not from lack of trying but from lack of achieving, based on strength or flexibility. What to do about those feelings of disappointment? Well, after a good frustration cry (!), I started attending the pole fitness conditioning classes and doing yoga more regularly, in addition to the pole classes. I set a goal for myself of achieving an invert by the end of summer (2.5 months), did yoga before class, and practiced specific holds every time I went to class (for me it was the reverse grab hold and the pole ab crunches). So basically, I upped the fitness ante and set some specific goals that allowed me time to achieve them, which helped me not feel bad when I couldn’t get them as soon as I wanted. By the end of the summer, I had my basic invert and my reverse grab. By the end of 7 months from beginning pole dancing, I had a 25 sec clip of me doing a combination of 3 moves/tricks that let me know my work and efforts paid off. By the end of 8 months, I performed a routine that got me noticed by the studio owner, and now I teach classes as a sub at the studio and host pole parties. So you have to give yourself time and set specific goals (instead of, I want to do EVERTYTHING) but also believe in yourself that you can do it because you are working hard to do it.
As far as the weight loss, I can only speak for myself, but I didn’t really lose weight from pole dancing. I became stronger, and had lost inches, but for me pole dancing is only enough to help me maintain my weight. So after a year of pole dancing, I began other exercise routines in the interest of becoming a better pole dancer. I began a high impact cardio 2x/wk (Zumba) and a moderate boot camp 2x/wk, in addition to the pole dancing and yoga. And I modified my diet by not eating out at restaurants as much as well as by reducing my sugar intake. After 4 months of this program, I did lose weight and accelerated my muscle gain. Needless to say, I was quite pleased with how these results improved my pole game. But I don’t think I would have been able to start the additional exercise, and stay with it had it not been my deep abiding passion for pole dancing to motivate me.
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Rosie I feel the same! Feel very alone even when I watch things on here no big girls I have seen do it. I get lots of slack for me being a pole dancer too. I was also the biggest in my studio but the girls there were the best thing to happen to me. Sadly I moved and have no studio so I have been on here. I don’t progress nearly as quick as I wish in a studio setting and my pole is not the best :/ so it’s easy to get discouraged and think “it’s not sexy when I do it” but obviously we both have the love for pole and a passion and that ultimately is what keeps me going. You can add me on facebook if you would like 🙂 stephanie cannizzaro. And congrats on keeping up with the program! I am 5’6 and 230 pounds. I thought I would never do a pole hold either… well once I moved I said I better practice that more…and lo and behold I can do it!! And do leg pull in now! I hadn’t tried a pole hold In 2 months. So I think it’s so awesome when you finally achieve something how great you feel! Stick with it!
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