-
Being called fat…by other “pole dancers”?!?!
-
@jenwo “A REAL woman”? Not to be rude, but a “real” woman isn’t and shouldn’t be exclusive to curvy girls only.
There was a photo going around on facebook a year or two with pictures of mostly anorexic girls being compared to Marilyn Monroe and a few other curvy pin-up babes. And the caption said something like, “when did this” (overly skinny girls). “Become more attractive than this?” (Insert 50’s divas.) And then the kicker at the end, “LIKE IF YOU WANT A “REAL” WOMAN!”
For a while a lot of my immature friends jumped on the like & share bandwagon. Maybe it made them feel better about making fun of bigger girls in the past? And these are the same scumbags who made fun of me when I was 200lbs at 5’9″.
I then had a friend who’s body doesn’t develope at even half the rate of the people around her, comment on a friends post a counter argument photo on my friend’s page. It was the same image, except for at the end it said, “IT NEVER DID. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and that’s what makes them beautiful.” That same friend is built like Twiggy, and how popular was Twiggy back in the day?
@glitter. A “real” woman is a confident woman, a beautiful woman on the inside, and someone who is comfortable with themselves. So, Glitter, when someone calls you fat or bigger, or whatever, I would just remind yourself that they can say whatever they want. In all reality, you’ll always be the “bigger” woman because the person slinging insults couldn’t hope to be half the wonderful person you are.
-
I just got one today – read it and said 'Yeah WTF Ever!' and DELETE!
-
Thank you CapFeb!! Maybe jenwojo meant "real-life", not real women, in terms of real women vs what we see in pictures because she did say "we are so bombarded with images that no one knows what a REAL woman looks like anymore" which I agree 100% with. Pictures of women are so edited now that they don't even look real so maybe when my hater saw a woman in an unedited photo she was like EWWW A REAL LADY!! I never say "real women have curves" or any of that crap, because although I do have curves, all women are real!!! Lol. I agree skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming. But I do agree with people losing touch of what a real-life woman looks like! Good thing my cellulite was covered in the photo or she really would've gone to town https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
MiniCooper everyone loves and admires you for going on tv and doing your thang!!!!!! Mad respect and anyone who says otherwise can go to my website eatabagofdicks.com!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif
-
Oh also, the same day I got the rude comment, later that night I had to work and I got hit on..BY A LADY!! She even gave left me her number with a message saying "call me sexy"!!! Getting called fat and hit on in the same day, both by ladies. LOL. crazyyyy.
-
Hahahaha!! I love it Glitter!!…and you know my story on eatabagofdicks,com (hehe)
-
Hi Glitter.
When I started pole @ 27 I was 73kg now been going pole for just 15months & am at 65kg. I’m now in just in the advanced stages (beginning of the advanced). I have found many people extremely encouraging in the studio. But I still also notice mostly the younger girls/newer really skinny girls look at me and think wow how can she do pole. I can see it in there eyes, I put this down to immaturity, but yes it does make me feel rather ordinary about myself. But more often then not I get the compilments about how well & strong I look.At the end of the day I remind myself I do pole for me, no one else. For my core strength, for cardiovascular exercise, for mental health I feel so good after every class. And I love that I can laugh at myself while doing it.
-
Sometimes I think people get it in their heads that their 'fat friends' need a 'reality check' and looking at thses 'fat friends' and saying 'you are fat' will cause some kind of magical process to begin. I blame "Intervention"–you know, they get the addict's friends and family in a room then spend a few hours telling them that their life is a mess and everyone hates them then they suddenly decide to go to treatment and everything is magically better and they start pooping out rainbows.
And once you are committed to telling someone 'the uncomfertable truth' might as well go full bore, right?
But, thing is, 'fat friends' are a: rarely actually fat and b: completely aware of their body shape. Hell, everyone is reminded every day what their body looks like not matter the shape.
It's not an excuse for shitty behavior, but maybe siomewhat of an explaination. People can convince themselves they are doing the right thing even when externally, everyone else is looking at them and thinking 'seriously? Are you insane?"
-
@CapFeb-I totally agree. What I meant by REAL woman is that, sometimes people have a preconceived notion of what they think a REAL woman should be. We all come in different shapes and sizes. That's what is so beautiful. I honestly meant no disrespect. I just meant that women, regardless of shape or size, shouldn't be condemned for how they look. It's the heart and soul that make all of us REAL women.
-
@CapFeb P.S. I've been all over on the weight spectrum. I've been super skinny, very heavy and in between. And I was criticized at each stage. First I was "too heavy", then "too skinny" then, when I was in between it still wasn't good enough for some people. We forget what makes a person truly beautiful. We are conditioned to look at the outside and it took me a long time, even a long hard battle with depression and even an attempt at ending it all 18 yrs ago to realize that I am the only one who gets to define what beautiful means to me. No one else. Trust me, I am the last person to pass judgement on someone.
-
i dont meant to be rude, but putting videos online or pictures opens a door for people to critic and hurt your feelings
of course not everyone will make compliments, its a risk to take when you expose yourself online
be strong and ignore those, or block the comments!!
-
Wow…some people are just out of control. I have never been called fat at the studio where I go to, but I the looks I get sometimes are not nice and they say 1000 words, but I don't care, I just smile back at them. I am on the chubby side, big hips and thighs, but being latina with 3 kids and a big family that have parties twice a week, it's hard to be a size 2….I'm proud to be 5'6, 180Lbs and a size 10-12!!!
Now, I do have a friend that got insulted cause another girl told her that the boyshorts she was wearing looked like thong on her….thank god I wasn't there that day…luckly that girl never went back cause I was going to confront her, due to that comment, now my friend wears skorts and she was going to quit poling.
Now on the other hand…I do have to agree with Olivia, that is why I don't post any pictures or videos on FB….I've had some friends asked me if I was stripping cause I do post stuff about pole dancing, but I made it very clear that I was doing pole fitness, that I was not a stripper!!
Sometime is best to ignore people, they can be very ignorant at times, and other are just jealous cause you can do something fun and they can't for what ever reason.
PS: I've seen your videos and you look AWESOME!!!
-
It is one thng to get these comments on YouTube, but from your Facebook friends? That's ridiculous, you shouldn't have to deal with it. Block these people, you don't need that jealousy.
I am always getting crap about my weight, but it's the other way around–I get acused of being anorexic and get told to "eat something." No one who would say that is allowed to be my Facebook friend 🙂
Why do they think it is any of their damn business? I would never imagine such a talented, beautiful woman as yourself giving any credit to that nonsense so don't. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your engagement 🙂
-
Thanks everyone for the comments!!! Alexa good for you for owning your body the way it is!!
-
we love our Glitter no matter what anyone else thinks!
-
Get their adress and we will pull out some good ole fashion glitterbricks…. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_batman.gif lol
Everyone has already given great advice and we both know how awesome you are… so I just wanted to share some glitter <3
-
I am sooooo sorry that happened to u! I am very uncomfortable with my weight and if some on told me that i would be devastated! I do agree with luvlee maybe that person befriended u on purpose just to go on your page and hurt u =(. U are so strong girl, there just haters keep your head up!!!
-
A few years ago i started lifitng weights and living a much healthier lifestyle. I was 105 pounds at the time and started because, like many people who start, i was unhappy with the way i looked. A few years have passed and im really happy with my body and the progress i have made, and today i weigh 118. So yup i gained!
Had a trainer online the other day try and tell me that she was a better trainer because she "looked better" than me. Really this made me LOL at her stupidity. Looking a certain way has no bearing on either your worth as a person or as a trainer.
Also, im so over the whole need to be ZOMG 15% body fat because i can only look pretty if im lean thing.
People can only hurt you if you let them. Be happy in who you are and where you are, thats all that matters.
-
aww thanks platinum haha you rock 🙂 yeah i dont know what the deal was but i have mostly already forgotten about it and i have a competition to train for again so that will put me in grat shape from training but for now i am enjoying my christmas cookies and not worrying about it 🙂 thanks for all the great advice and encouragement everybody!!
-
Glitter I think your fab!!!! I’ve been having body issues the past year, and find it hard to accept all the weight I Have gained and can’t seem to loose. I try to see it as look at all the awesome things my body can do! Not so much what it looks like. I had a falling out with my best friend of 15 years because she fed on my insecurity and told people I looked like I didn’t need another meal!! I was so hurt and sad because of this. People say mean things to make themselves feel better because they are insecure. It hurts more to come from friends then strangers. I would say leave the negative people behind and surround yourself with kind people! Like on SV! 🙂
-
Glitter some people just suck … I had a VERY WELL known LA pole instructor/studio owner ask me to demo some moves in her class to a few students to show that "larger girls can pole well too!!!!!" she was absolutly giddy with the idea that someone over a size 6 could do a shoulder mount – pathetic! – I would have told her to F@ck off had she not actually asked me in the MIDDLE of class with everyone there – probably should have anyway lol
-
Ugh I am so sorry this happened to you, it sucks! I just wanted to mention too that often if you are a fat woman (or really any woman who isn't "conventionally" attractive) and you are confident and happy with your body, that really fucking scares people! Especially if you are doing something like pole, which is seen as a very "sexy" sport. Society works on you your whole life to hate your body and when you say "no, I'm not gonna do that!" then society gets upset! Your body doesn't belong to anyone else but you, and your weight says absolutely nothing about your health or who you are. I haven't looked at your pics or videos so I don't know what you look like, but that is besdie the point here. If you want to weigh 300 pounds and pole dance, then that's your decison and everyone else can stfu. Pole takes an amazing amount of courage, strength, and self awarness. I feel sad for this woman who called you fat, she has been trained to think like that, and most likely is very critical and mean about her own body as well.
It's really tough because we hear so many conflciting messages all the time. We are told from a very young age that we should want to change our bodies to fit a certain ideal, and that if we don't fit that then we are "ugly," and therefore "worthless." And then we are told that we just have to "learn to love oursleves." and if we don't, then we are not only fat and ugly but also failures because we aren't strong enough to ignore all the bullshit thrown at us everyday! It's no wonder so many girls have eating disorders and issues with body image.
I'm so glad that you have gotten so many great respoinses on this forum, this community is aweome! Try to ignore the haters if you can, and keep poling!
-
P.S. I just watched some bits of your videos and you are gorgeous and a wonderful dancer : )
-
DELETE AND BLOCK!!! Someone has image issues and it is not you. Happy and Healthy is the way we should all be. Skinny is not always healthy, a skinny person could have the same amount of body fat as you and zero muscle tone.
Keep up the good work, enjoy poling and never let anyone get you down. You must be a way stronger dancer than she is to be so rotten on your postings anyways.
Log in to reply.
