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How long did it take to feel like you sucked less?
I've been pole dancing for about three months and I'm terrible. Everyone else is like doing pikes and side Vs and things and I'm still trying to get my leg to hook for a butterfly. xD What on earth! I can do very few spins and can only sit with my legs crossed.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? How long did it take you to get into invert combos? How long did it take you to flow?
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26 Replies
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Oookay… this is a bit of a loaded question, so my answer might be long… but bear with me 😉
First of all, I've been dancing off-and-on for about five years, and my basic invert SUCKS. I know that it sucks because my knees barely clear my hands, and it's still very tiring and difficult for me to do. I am improving, but… still, it sucks. To be fair, I only managed it recently, within the last six months or so.
So, your progress is your own. You cannot compare your journey to other people's, because you will have different challenges, and they will have different challenges. I see this often at the climbing gym, too- I could do two or three 5.7 routes before I could do the easy-peasy 5.6 route that we put children on. It took me ages to get it.
Next, you are going to have to seriously evaluate how you are judging yourself. My writing, for example, is something I CONSTANTLY judge very harshly, and I am always coming up short of my "goal." It's terrible, and I catch myself doing it all the time. This is an artists' plight, but you'll see it with almost everything these days.
Take a moment to acknowledge that you can do SOME spins, where three months ago, you could do none. Take the time to look at the progress that you've made, and allow yourself the congratulations you deserve. Three months is not a long time, if you think about it, and for you to be working on pikes and butterflies, is a big accomplishment.
I cannot stress strongly enough, though, that you will always find someone better than you, and if you keep comparing yourself to anyone else (even classmates- ANYONE), you'll judge yourself worse than you judge them.
You are doing awesome. If you feel good about YOUR workout, and YOUR dancing, that is all that needs to happen. Your journey is yours alone.
Besides, what if all those other people keep looking at you and think "Oh man, I LOVE the way she does that spin! I wish I looked like that!" https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I recently got back into pole (after about a 2 1/2 years) and I feel the same way! My friend Asia, who has never done pole until now, was going upside down and progressing so much faster in after a month or so! I finally accepted that everyone's body is different and that we all progress in different ways. Asia is a bean pole so lifting her body wasn't as hard as it was for me. I need to start working at home on building my abs and arms! Are you doing anything outside of pole class??? Pole is VERY demanding and you need to be strong to do things! It make take you a bit longer, but with determination you will get there! We can do this!!!
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about 5 years. And sometimes I still feel like I suck on any given day lol
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Thanks for the replies everyone. Glad you all stuck with it for so long! Makes me remember I won't get tired of it unless I'm always mad at myself.
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I think the only people that really "suck" are the ones that don't care enough to try anything new!
It's tough to put a deadline stamp on when you feel like you don't suck as much anymore, because I think everyone feels like they suck at some time or another. Even the super advanced girls I know think they suck because they are incredibly hard on themselves. It's definitely all relative, and depends on who or what you compare yourself to. For example, this weekend I nailed a really difficult trick that I have been working on for months, and had been feeling like I was awesome at pole…until I went to practice today and I couldn't even pull off tricks that I have been able to do for months! It's definitely a confidence thing- think about the moves that you are good at, do them at every practice to make you feel comfortable and confident, and then work on the new moves with that positive attitude you'll have from doing a bunch of moves successfully 🙂
Good luck, you can do it!
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I agree with everyone else, its all relative and everyone's body and progress is different. Everyone will find something that they don't like about their dancing or pole tricks. Just know that it will get better, and your having fun and working out at the same time 🙂 I always judge myself to harshly with pole and painting.. I'll say " that looked like crap, my toes were weird or my hand was looking un-flowy, etc.." But then when i mention it or show someone, they're like what are you talking about? lol Do you record your progress? it's not something you have to post but can be just for you to monitor progress and see what you need to work on. I'm still a rookie with the dancing thing but once i started recording, i improved a lot in my eyes. With the tricks, for me anyways, it can take a while sometimes for it to "click" but once it does, things progress nicely. You can also know something and loose it, it's happened to me with a few things and I suck at spins lol. At least i think i do…
You will nail that butterfly!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif Positive thinking goes a long way https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
@runemist34- I would be your biggest pet peeve if you had to judge my writing lol, I suck at that and don't know how i managed to go right into eng101 and pass with a b+ haha. Mostly im lazy with my writing and i have a dr's handwriting to.. I do the same thing with my painting! We are all our own worst critics I think 🙂
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As far as inverting combos..I was about a month in when I started inverting and could do the scorpio and gemini. Couldn't combo them though and dismounting looked terrible lol. about 2 months in I think, I could do the inverted crucifix. After 4-5 months things started really picking up for me and stuff just started clicking and my strength was better then ever. I have always had good upper body and back strength though. I have been pole dancing since late Feb 2013. I have my moments where i can't do a dam fireman spin right lol.. As far as flow….thats to be determined at a later date lol, i am still working on that one. Do you have the lessons or have access to someone in your area that poles? people skype on here to. I was just wondering because sometimes hinderence might be from bad form, wrong hand placement, etc..Its nice to have someone watching that knows the mechanics of a move your trying to learn to help guide you while your doing it. Then it might click faster and you start building the muscle memory. Good luck on your journey, if you live in the washington area, you could pole with me! I'm still learning to but veena's lessons are great if you have them.
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I had been poling for 18 months before I finally felt like I could link moves and look at least semi-graceful (and trust me, those so-called linked moves were not advanced ones!)… but I think what made me turn that corner was the fact I finally got a pole at home and therefore could actually *dance* often, rather than just trying in classes to do random bits and pieces and never put a routine together or let myself properly feel the music.
Honestly – don't worry! Everyone still feels like they suck sometimes no matter how long you have been poling for. Plus people have different strengths – I can't do more than two spins before I want to throw up, even after 2.5 years now, and so I am SO jealous of people who can link together a whole spinny routine!!! Keep it up!!!
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Oh, I was thinking that last week. I suck, I can’t do this , I can’t link moves … Then I set up my camera and recorded myself, it made such a difference! I can see exactly what u need to improve on now. Maybe you should try? I’m poling just a bit over 18months now and it’s only now that I feel I can hold poses longer and (sometimes lol) link moves. Pole is hard. Very hard. You will get it but don’t get down about it that’s the worst thing you can do although I know that’s easier said than done! As the girls have said before, everyone is different and have different strengths etc. keep going and one day you will surprise yourself just like I did the other day lol.
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We all tend to suck at everything in the beginning … and it can be discouraging to see people successfully before you do. What I've learned over time is that there are some things that will come easier to each of us.
I've been poling for four years, on & off, with some major set backs from injuries and illness, and it's really discouraging to start over. Through all of this, even though I can do some more advanced tricks, I couldn't do my bleepin' chopper (just got it last night, can't say "nailed it", but I got it). Also, I've slid by favoring only one side, so now I'm taking a Level 1 class working on my weak side only, and it's pretty sucky right now. But I'm still doing Level 3 to keep up the more advanced moves.
It took me longer than my classmates to invert at all (of course, I was 30 years older than the rest of them) but eventually I did, and then I could Gemini/Scorpio switch before the rest of them … mainly because I couldn't chopper and I taught myself to get into the inside leg hang.
And for reasons I can't explain, I was way ahead of the rest on CKR and CAR!
So don't get discouraged … just endeavor to improve, compare yourself to yourself only. If you've ever been to one of their workshops, you'll hear champions tell you about what they suck at!
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keep practicing 🙂
At three months, i was also only able to sit.But after you reach a certain strength level, lots of poses become accessible. the tricks just come flooding in. and then you will reach a plateau- and feel like you suck again… and then bam! something clicks and you will get another whole cluster of tricks 😀
(that's how it was for me – and continues to be) I still cant handspring 🙁
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Haha katana that’s exactly how it is! Lol I was laughing reading your comment that’s exactly how most polers feel I think but don’t know how to describe it!
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@Katana- You nailed it! That's sooo true 🙂
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P0le never gets easier you just get better at it.
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There will always be someone better than you and someone not as good as you.
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I joked with my husband last night that my pole totem animal is a turtle. I've been poling for 4 years now. I know girls that have done it half the time and are way a head of me, but what I know is that every year I'm a little stronger and doing things I couldn't do before. When I realize that I'm suddenly strong enough to do a trick I couldn't before, it is so awesome. At 43 I'm OK with the slow and steady pace. I've (knock on wood) never had a major injury and last night I was able to do a twisted grip scorpion and I'm sneaking slowly up on an X. Just have fun and keep at it. The tricks will happen, just be patient with yourself.
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Ugh, this is so terrible for me right now.
I've been poling for 2 years now and have been able to start teaching even, but I have noticed a lack of progress and it has me feeling so down! I felt so good when I learn something, but now that I am at a standstill I wonder if I have hit a plateau and will not get any better… Questions… What to do to ensure progress? -
Keep practicing and don't give up! There will be times when things don't progress or your just not feeling it.. If your getting frustrated, then maybe try to perfect the things you know and then work on other tricks that you haven't tried before 🙂
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I feel I suck so often, then I have a class that goes awesome and I nail a move and I feel great, I get home and try to do the move at home and fail so I’m back to sucking again, I just have the attitude that every time I try a hard move and don’t succeed at least I am getting stronger and that one day I will get it!!! Hang in there xx
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I feel I suck so often, then I have a class that goes awesome and I nail a move and I feel great, I get home and try to do the move at home and fail so I’m back to sucking again, I just have the attitude that every time I try a hard move and don’t succeed at least I am getting stronger and that one day I will get it!!! Hang in there xx
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Keep a video / written pole diary. Look back every few months, you will realise you don’t ‘suck’, you are better than you were and will only continue to improve if you keep trying. Keep up the good work x
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i have been really poling for about 3 years… i am at an intermediate/advanced level… and I waffle between "i rock" and "i suck" every other week… i dont think feeling sucky ever goes away… i know pros that "suck"… all you can do is try to enjoy the journey and shoot for more rock days than suck days
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It really relies on what your reason for dancing truly is. If you want to be an amazingly fit and flexy trickster w/ perfect posture and pointed toes then, yeah, it’s probably gonna take a LONG time before you’re satisfied. A few of my fav pole pros claim it took anywhere from 3-7 years before they felt they were “getting good”. lol
If you pole for pleasure, however, I’ve found it’s always rewarding. No need to get discouraged, just keep at it. Get lost in your music, enjoy THE MOMENT, become one with the pole. The early pains of new moves often wear away after you toughen up. It never really gets “easy”, but you build strength/agility/muscle memory and so it’s also never quite so “hard” as when you first started. You learn as you go. No one can teach you everything because your perception of your pole journey is unique to you. How it feels, how your body responds, your environment, your goals, your determination, your inspiration, your confidence, your body image, your strength, your time, your pain thresh-hold, etc.
For me? I loved it instantly. There was some cussing and discouragement in the early stages. I was fortunate enough to have my own pole, room, and a ton of spare time when I first started. How long before I could really do anything that looked good? Hmmmm, well, I’m not really an extremely confident person but it irritates me when girls are embarassed by their first pole vids. I try to keep a sense of humor about myself and appreciate my early videos as both a great memory captured on screen and a rare view into the innocent/humble/honest beginnings of an aspiring poler. I LOVE beginner videos because, to me, it’s the most beautiful and unpretentious part of the journey. It reminds you of what you’ve accomplished and how much you went through to get to that point. It HELPS OTHERS because they get to see you weren’t just born an awesome poler, that you made some of the same exact mistakes they did, that you suffered for weeks just to get a move you can bust out like it ain’t no thang now. lol
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I have been a member on this site for 3+ years, purchased the lessons, have DVDs. I can do all kinds of tricks, but putting them together and then adding dance to it?! I still think I suck at it. I make videos constantly, but never really share them, all I kept seeing is the negative things, and an occasional “oh, that trick looked awesome” I finally signed up at a local pole place. (I am way out of my comfort zone, now). I’ve had 2 classes so far. At the end of class we have a songs worth of time to play/practice what we have learned. For the first time in my pole journey I, wasn’t even aware, that I had completely let myself go and became one with the pole and the song, until I noticed that the whole class had been watching me. I wish I had had a camera to see what they had witnessed (oh please, hopefully it wasn’t like one of those accidents where it’s so bad that you can’t look away, lol) . It was said earlier, we are our own worst critics, and I think it’s difficult for us to see our accomplishments because of that. Honestly, I’m still not confident that I don’t suck, but I’m having fun, and that’s ultimately the goal for me. 🙂
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the second I stopped comparing MY journey to anyone else's AND making self-depracating comments. every time I PRACTICE & every time I RECOVER, my body is progressing. my mind is progressing with self awareness, too, in pole. you learn your limits, you learn where you can push.
it might help to replace "i'm sucking less at…" with "I am getting better at …." or "i am working on…".
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