[davenmoss]

I hear you, and I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. Loving someone with depression can be incredibly draining, especially when their struggles start to affect your own mental health. You’re right, he ultimately has to take responsibility for his own healing, and it’s not your job to absorb his pain or sacrifice your own happiness.

One thing that helped a friend of mine in a similar situation was learning to set firm boundaries while still showing love. For example, she would calmly explain that she could support him but would not tolerate being blamed or treated cruelly. It wasn’t easy, but over time it created space for her to take care of herself without feeling guilty.

If you’re looking for guidance on navigating this, the Center for Thriving Relationships has resources on handling challenging dynamics in close relationships. Their website offers practical strategies for maintaining your well-being while supporting a partner who is struggling emotionally. Even if he refuses counseling, you can still access insights and techniques to protect your mental health and improve communication in your marriage.

Remember, it’s not selfish to preserve your own happiness. You can love him and care for him, but you don’t have to sacrifice your entire life in the process. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you care any less, it just means you’re taking care of yourself too.