[adamseve]

Sasha, it’s so good to hear that you know what’s causing the jaw to lock. I really hope those muscle relaxants start to work soon so you can eat. I know you must be famished. Take care of yourself and let us know how things are going soon OK. Hugs & Kisses.

Tracey

[adamseve]

Cali, I also agree with what Trena said. I should have stated that first, but I got lost in how you must be feeling. If you can talk about it and you feel your marriage is truly worth trying to save don’t just give up on it. Remember, I was in my marriage for 15 years trying to save it! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif

One more thing: my ex was my first everything so I know how you feel. But you know what: today I’m married to the love of my life, my soulmate, my friend, my lover. I never knew what love was until I married my 2nd but 1st husband. And to think, I like you thought my ex was the love of my life simply because he was all I knew.

There is life after divorce if it gets that far. Hang in there OK.

[adamseve]

Sweetheart I’m so sorry to hear this and that you’re hurting.

I’ve been in your situation but I was the one seeking the divorce because my ex-husband was abusive physically & emotionally. He was also a lousy father, a drug user, and a terrible husband. I stayed with him for over 15 years praying things would get better, but they never did. Like your husband, he said all I did was bitch, etc. And like you, I didn’t. I simply kept asking him to do better for his children’s sake. As much as he’d like to believe you’re the problem he knows he is and is only blaming you to make you feel bad. He’s not yet man enough to admit his own shortcomings so to make himself feel good he’s got to blame someone and you just happen to be the one he’s blaming.

I know this is hard and it hurts like hell, but you CANNOT allow him to make you feel as if you’re the problem in your marriage. It takes 2 to make a marriage work , but it can take only 1 partner to destroy it. We all have our shortcomings, but you alone can’t make your marriage work. He’s got some demons that he’s fighting and unless he loves himself enough to fix them he can’t fight them just for you and the kids because then it won’t last. He’s got to fight them to save himself and it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to do that. You deserve a better husband and your kids deserve a better father. Today it seems like your world is falling apart because you have to deal with the hurt, pain, anger, & fear but tomorrow you may be able to see this as a blessing in disguise just like I did.

My life changed drastically for the BEST when I finally got the nerve to leave & divorce my ex. You will be OK. You will find a place to stay, and believe it or not you’re in a much better position to get assistance as a single mother than you are as a married woman. Use the resources that are available to you and you’ll be able to not only get through this, but prayerfully you and your kids will be much stronger emotionally and mentally going forward. Take a moment and think about what you need to do to take care of you first and DO IT! You can’t take care of your kids if you’re not taking care of you. Once you’ve done that you can begin to think clearly and develop a plan of action for you and your kids. YOU CAN DO THIS!

And don’t be afraid to cry. It’s OK to cry and rant & rave because you have to get those feelings out. You won’t do it one time or even 2 times; you may do it many, many times, but just do it. Don’t hold those pent up feelings inside or they’ll eat you alive.

The one thing that I did to help my kids was be extremely honest and open with them. That’s the least I could do because they didn’t choose their father. It hurt them, but they knew all along what was going on. THey were waiting on me to get to a place where I could finally leave, and they were only 10 & 6 at the time.

Sweetie, I don’t know you personally and it doesn’t matter. I’m here for you not just on this forum, but you can always PM and I’ll give you my phone number and vice versa. This won’t be easy, but you will get through it. Please, please, please….do not beat yourself up. You know in your heart that you’ve done everything you can to make your marriage work and that’s all you could have done. You are beautiful, smart, loyal, loving, caring, trusting, and above all, decent and lovable. Don’t let this take your joy and definitely don’t let this break your spirit. YOU WILL AND CAN GET THROUGH THIS.

Hang in there and remember, you can always PM to chat. I truly don’t mind and would love to be there for you. I wish that I had had somewhere there for me so if I can help in any way please don’t hesitate to contact.

Hugs & Kisses.

Tracey

[adamseve]

Hey there hun! I’m sooo glad your mind is a little bit more at ease. Your gyno sounds great. Please, please keep us posted OK. And try not to worry OK. I know it’s easier said than done. So, when you get to worrying think about all the people who care about you there and on this forum. That should put a HUGE smile on your face to know that not only do we care but we’re praying for and with you. Hugs & kisses! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif

[adamseve]

RaRa,

Thanks so much for posting your feelings today. I was / am feeling the same way you are, particularly about this age thing. I’m 42 and have never, ever been into exercise. I was always tiny and in shape, but I knew I needed to do more in hopes of increasing my lifetime and staying healthy & fit. So, when I got the chance to do pole dancing I jumped at it. I was so naive about what it would take to do this however. I continuously wonder if all the stretching and trying the moves on each side is really doing anything. I know it is in my mind, but for the life of me I can’t see it so I’m losing the desire to try to move forward. Not to mention I hurt my shoulder blade last Saturday and that really set me back. And the fact that I can’t even pull myself up the pole makes me so angry. It seems my core strength is a negative even though I’m doing crunches, etc. I need to do them more than 1-2 times per week, but I do make sure I do the plank every night as well as push ups and the pole pull ups.

I have been at this for all of 2 3/4 months and I feel like I can’t do anything. I know I can do a few spins, but I can’t put them together to a song to save my life because if I mess up I can’t move forward. I beat myself up so much about messing up that I lose the momentum of going forward and just continuing to try. So all I end up doing is practicing spins and increasing my strength and flexibility.

I so want to dance and look graceful. I love dancing, but I’m afraid of what I’ll look like trying to pole dance. Second, I feel like I can’t really do anything that makes it look like I know what I’m doing. I hate feeling this way.

Sorry for venting on your thread, but I needed to get the whining out so I can move forward.

RaRa, don’t give up OK. I know we can both do this…We’ve just got to give ourselves a little more time.

Also, are you taking classes or are you self-teaching? I really believe that makes a huge difference. I’m self-teaching until my next 6 wk session of classes start.

Thanks again for letting me piggy back on your thread.

Take care…Hugs and kisses.

[adamseve]

From the floor? OMG…that’s great! I can’t even doing it standing up let alone from the floor https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

[adamseve]

You go girl! You’re doing great. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif

[adamseve]

Thanks Foxy! I’m going to try everything to give me this strength that I need. I tried doing the chair today and couldn’t manage it. So, just being off the pole & not doing any exercises since I hurt my back has set me way back. I am thoroughly disgusted and want to quit, but I’m not. I wish I had regular classes to go to where I could get some assistance. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif

[adamseve]

Glitter, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, but I’m almost positive that it’s nothing. Here’s why: my hubby & I have to wait at least a week after my period before we can play because what happened to you happens to me. It’s as if his toy irritates my jewelry box and for whatever reason the uterus thinks it’s supposed to go getting rid of stuff again.

Here’s what I do each time my cycle goes off and it seems to stop this from happening: I always, always take a night long hot soaking bath for at least 2-3 nights after my cycle ends. I don’t believe in douches as our vajayjay takes care of cleansing itself. So, I allow the water from the bath to seep in and do its thing. That has worked for me and I’m truly hoping it works for you.

Now I know I’m a tad older than you – 42 – but I honestly believe that our bodies start preparing for menopause a lot sooner than doctors think. For me, this change in my body is part of the process. I’m not saying that you’re going through perimenopause…I’m just saying that our bodies as women are always going through changes since our hormone levels change from stress, illness, etc. So I’m guessing that maybe you’ve been under a little stress or something has been going on with you and your body is just out of kilter.

I hate for you to think you have an STD. You’re a good girl and I’m sure if you weren’t your boyfriend wouldn’t be with you! He knows a good thing and that is what you are: a diamond!

Keep us posted on what the doctor says and until you see him/her think only positive, pure thoughts OK. Hugs and Kisses!

Tracey aka Adam’s Eve

[adamseve]

Hey there!

I saw the video. Thanks so much for posting it. Boy, I’ve got a lot of work to do. It looks tough, but I know with practice I’ll be stronger and stronger. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_salut.gif

[adamseve]

Thanks a bunch sweetie! I really appreciate you doing this and sharing it. Hugs!

[adamseve]

Glitter, are you practicing on spin mode? You look great! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif

[adamseve]

I purchased Nicole Williams’ DVDs and they’re pretty good. She does a good bit of floor work, but she also does a few spins. I prefer her floor work DVD however. Here’s the link: http://poledanceallure.com/PoleDanceDVDs.html

I also purchased Jamilla’s Teaser DVD. It’s good as well.

Finally, I purchased the pole & chair choreography DVDs from http://poledancestudio.com/. I was expecting more, but they’re still OK.

Hope this helps!

[adamseve]

Girl, I hate crunches, but I am doing more of them. I’m tempted to get a gym membership just so I can get on the dip machine which makes you hold yourself up and lift your legs to work your abs. I actually like that exercise. Go figure! I’m a little weird so it doesn’t surprise me at all. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif

[adamseve]

Veena,

I have a fit ball and I’m taking lessons both online and in a class. However, we haven’t had class for almost a month since we were going to have a recital for our 1st 6 weeks. I’m hoping we’re going to get moving on our next 6 week session by the end of this month. I’m going stir crazy only practicing at home and I feel like I may not be doing things correctly.

I work all of my muscle groups each week, particularly my arms and legs as I have weak knees. I do some ab work, but I prefer to do things like the plank, the bicycle, and body rolls. I hate, hate, hate crunches, but I do incorporate them at least once per week. I also do the push-ups and pole lifts. I can’t do the lunges and squats much because they really, really make my knees hurt. So, until they get stronger I have to do knee circles and other leg exercises.

I got sick last week and now I’m off schedule so I’m trying to get back in the swing of things.

Trena…thanks for the tip as well. I’ll keep everyone posted. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheese.gif