[StrangeFox]

TropicalVertical, so sorry you’re going through this. 🙁 I love your videos and consider you very brave. I find with anything my level of fear is closely related to what is going on in my life. When things are going great I’m fearless and invincible (not always a good thing), but when I’m stressed out, or especially when I’ve got a lot of people depending on me, I tend to be less bold and more fearful. I have some theories about it, but I don’t know whether they hold any water. One is that when I’m worn out by stress I can kind of sense that I’m not at my best and it’s my body’s way of telling me to slow down and be careful. Another is that when I’ve got someone depending on me I’m more fearful I’ll suffer an accident and let the person who is depending on me down by being out of commission.

I recently started inverting and had no real fears about being upside down. I was unhooking arms and legs and just generally having a good time. Then I went out to dinner with a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, and he admitted he’s not seeing the results he’d hoped for with chemo. When he hugged me that night there was something really, really final about it and it kind of gave me a bit of a start. I got home and started poling, and when it came time for me to get upside down my heart was beating really fast and my whole body was sweaty. I got inverted but I didn’t enjoy it. I felt totally insecure and unstable and I wanted down. It took a few days for me to return to normal, and it took me a little while to connect the dots. I think sometimes when we’re faced with mortality in any form, whether it’s our own or someone else’s, we become hyper-aware of danger. I also think I might have been trying to suppress my fears about my friend and they came out while I was poling and totally confused me. I find pole can be really cathartic but sometimes emotion comes out and I have no idea what it’s really connected to.

I once had a horrible day at work where I left feeling crushed and useless, and when I got to pole class I couldn’t do a chair to backhook spin. After re-visiting it on the weekend when I felt much better I could do it no problem the first time I tried it. I can even track my abilities with my monthly cycle – they take a huge dip right before aunt flow visits. If you’re stressed and run down or preoccupied by something else it’s easy to lose confidence in yourself, so it might be that, too. In fact, it could be a combination of any of these. I’m finding so much of pole is psychological.

Just know that this will pass and you’ll come out of it stronger. 🙂 You’re strong, and a kick-butt incredible dancer. With these types of things I always tell myself it’s only temporary and that helps me ride out the bad times. I also find it helps to really analyze what’s going on and get really into my own head. Usually if I get introspective enough I can figure it all out and rationalize it. Usually I run, or write, or listen to music to help myself get there. Happy poling, and I’m sending lots of hugs your way. 🙂 Hope this passes soon, and sorry my reply is so long. This just really resonates with me so thanks for sharing you personal struggles.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks Veena!!! As always you are incredibly kind, supportive, and helpful, and I really appreciate it.

I started doing the invert program, but switched to do the 30 day take off because I feel like I’m still missing out on a lot of fundamentals and could really benefit from starting at the beginning. 🙂 I think I’m just super bummed out because I’m so far behind core strength-wise despite working on my core for over a year. Obviously, what I’ve been doing thus far hasn’t been working for me, so I’m excited to see how things improve while I’m using your programs. I’ll let you know how I progress. 🙂 The good thing is my legs are pretty strong so once I’m upside down I have no issues. Heck, I can even pull myself into an inversion from the floor by inching up the pole backwards using my legs. Kind of like an upside-down climb – granted, I can only get myself a few feet off the ground this way before I tire out.

It’s possible I’m cancelling out my strength training by over-training with cardio and not eating to compensate. In day 2 of the take-off you mentioned a healthy snack should be eaten within 30 mins of training. It’s stuff like that, that I think I’m missing.

I did reach a happy point with the shoulder roll up this past Sunday. I kept getting cramps and stitches in my intercostals because I wasn’t able to engage my core while coming down. Sunday was the first time I ever felt my core engage, and it was also the first time I was able to slowly lower to the ground from my shoulders to my lower back, one vertebrae at a time. No intercostal pain! So I do see some gains since I started poling.

[StrangeFox]

Hey LatinPoler – hope your skin is doing better. I second the Aveeno. Especially the soothing one. I actually had the same issue a couple of days ago in around the same area from training my knee pit grip and I got that on my foot from climbing a while back, too. It kind of freaked me out, but Voltaren helped ease the discomfort a bit. Rest up and I wish you a speedy recovery. 🙂

[StrangeFox]

At the very worst, check with their customer service to see if you can return it if it doesn’t fit. I agree with Veena though. I think it will fit. 🙂

[StrangeFox]

Oh man, that seriously sucks! Sorry to hear that. 🙁 Looks like they’re even sold out in Canada. Have you tried to contact X-Pole? They might be able to suggest an alternative – their customer service is top-notch. Also, I know thepoledancingshop.com sells X-Poles and X-Pole equipment, including extensions. I’ve never ordered anything from them so I’m not sure how quick they are or what their service is like.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks so much, Veena!! As always your advice is super helpful. 🙂 It’s hard for me to sit still, so it has been a huge lesson in patience for me to realize I need rest days and that I’m not going to nail a move the first, or even tenth try. I am going to try chair and hoop for my days off of the pole. I’m also doing your flexibility program.

Good news: looks like what I thought was a strain was probably just a muscle cramp as it seems to have healed up overnight, but that’s still a pretty good indication that I might be doing too much too fast. I do think I need to eat better as I seem to be getting a lot of muscle cramps lately. I’m training for long distance running, too, and I have not modified my diet at all to compensate. I’m going to take a rest day or two. I’m usually stronger after. 🙂

I can be bit of a show off at times, so pole has been teaching me to be humble…mainly through scrapes and bruises…lol!

[StrangeFox]

I think you’re smart not to try anything you’re not going to stick to or else the changes you see aren’t going to be permanent. 🙂 I personally don’t like crash diets, and I see ketosis marketed like that a lot because it’s so hard for most people to stick to. (Kudos to Polediva for sticking to it!) I LOVE pasta so I could never do it long term, either.

One thing I do to try and get my veggies in (I’m bad for this too!), is replace pasta noodles with veggies that have been “spiralized.” Veggies like zucchini and squash can be used to make noodles with a spiralizer and with all of the delicious sauce on top I can hardly tell the difference. That’s not to say it is a complete replacement for pasta, but it’s something I do every now and again for a change and it helps me feel a little healthier. It is a bit more work than pasta, but it’s also kind of fun. To cut back on wine I restrict wine consumption to one glass per day on the weekends, and I force myself to work out or do yoga before my wine so I’m not inclined to guzzle it. Of course…special occasions are excepted! 😉 You don’t have to do any of the above if it doesn’t work for you, but little, sustainable changes like this will help more than you think.

It would be awesome if you kept a diary of your progress! When you’re losing weight or toning up a little at a time it’s hard to see and easy to get discouraged. Also, I found keeping a food diary really helped me understand where I could improve my diet. Good luck on exams!

[StrangeFox]

I agree with emmasculator. I see no wobble in those vids – you look dang good! That said, I totally get having that one little area that just drives you crazy. LatinPoler gave you some excellent advice, and I agree with her about genes and how they’re impossible to beat. Not to sound discouraging but even when I was 16 and 20 lbs under weight I still had a booty and thick thighs. That’s how my mom is built, and my grandma, and nature decided I just couldn’t be different. Haha!

Distance running and cutting back on carbs has brought me the closest I have ever been to being happy with my build. Yeah, pole gets me sweaty, breathless, and sore but it’s not the same as a good long run for me. C25K made me fall in love with running because it started out easy and helped me gradually build up my endurance. I love putting my headphones in and tuning out the world. I use the time to listen to songs I want to dance to and daydream up routines. If you really, really hate running, you could try something like Zumba, aerobics/Pilates, kickboxing, or spin. I found for myself that strength training helped me tone up, but didn’t help me lose fat at all. It also made me hungrier so I snacked more and put on weight that definitely wasn’t muscle.

Also… totally with you on the wine, PoleAdventures. I did notice I lost a bunch of weight when I cut out my red wine but it just wasn’t worth it. 🙂

[StrangeFox]

Veena, you are amazing and I love your approach to pole! I’m sorry you had to deal with such pettiness. Kudos to you for putting all that behind you and going on to develop the greatest pole resource on the web. 🙂

One thing I’m feeling as a total beginner is that there seems to be a push to get all new polers “up to speed” as quickly as possible. I don’t know if that’s because there are now so many new moves to try, or because some studios fear students will get put off if they realize it takes months and sometimes years to develop the strength, coordination, and flexibility to do all of those cool tricks they see on YouTube.

The studio I go to teaches the sexy flow and trick portions as one, which I love. One of my goals is to slow down a bit and focus more on the sexy dance side of pole. I find even as a newbie I’m getting a bit wrapped up in that rush to learn one trick after another without bothering to master any of them. I also noticed that without mastery these moves look less than impressive when you throw them into your freestyle.

I love that pole is becoming more wide-spread and that there are tons of talented men and women posting their seriously impressive moves on Instagram and YouTube, but I agree that the dark side of that is that it seems to be warping everyone’s expectations of both themselves and other polers. Sometimes it feels like if you’re not hanging upside down and twisted into a pretzel you’re not being “impressive enough” and therefore not a legitimate pole dancer, which is really silly.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks Tiffany! And congrats on your inversion!

I have yet to learn cross knee release. I’m not sure when my studio teaches that one, but it’s a gorgeous looking move. I think I’m going to look it up here on SV. 🙂

[StrangeFox]

I can relate to that. I’m a beginner too, and I’m having issues with death grip. At first I couldn’t even do a simple pole slide (I’d end up doing a negative). I found practicing my pole holds/slides and getting more comfortable with my spins really helped me. It does take a lot of time, and I still rip the skin off of my wrist in the studio when I’m learning a new spin I’m nervous about. So you are not alone!

Do you have small hands by any chance? I do, and found it much easier to spin without death gripping on a 40mm pole. If you have the option of using a thinner pole, I know that helped me get my back hook spin.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks Hazi411 and AlisonDawn!

And congrats AlisonDawn! It totally is a wicked awesome feeling to get upside down for the first time! And it wasn’t as frightening or disorienting as I imagined it would be which is a bonus. Loved your ballerina, by the way. Looks so beautiful! 🙂

[StrangeFox]

That is frustrating! So sorry you’re stuck waiting on the extension and they’re out of stock! Sending you lots of positive vibes. Maybe you can order from the X-Pole Canada website? I’m not sure if that will work.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks Veena! I do want to do your 30 days to invert program. I think that will help a lot with getting the strength to hook my ankle and not my foot! 😀 I might not be letting myself lean back enough when I bring my leg up. Watching my video I can see I’m so close to getting my ankle up there!

[StrangeFox]

Thanks! I don’t have facebook, but I might get it just to join the group. 😉 I have a video of me getting upside down that I was thinking of sharing but…to be honest it’s pretty brutal! I’m hooking with the inside of my foot and pulling myself into position, which probably means I should hold off on inverting for now and keep conditioning. Haha! I think it’ll be another couple of weeks of conditioning before I can get them to look pretty, and not like I’m a drunk sloth. It’s tempting to keep inverting over and over but I don’t think that’s going to help me build strength the same way knee tucks and side pole holds will.

We were told not to kick into an invert in class, but the instructor said it’s OK to step and swing the outside leg upwards (in a controlled manner), but when I do it, it feels kind of like cheating. I’m so paranoid about kicking into my invert that I deliberately hold back when I swing my leg upwards.

[StrangeFox]

Thanks Veena! The conditioning in your lessons helped me get there!

[StrangeFox]

Don’t worry – you’ll be able to get your pole up. If I can install it in my 82″ basement, you can install it in your 87.5″ room. You may just need a little extra help/equipment from X-Pole. 😉 I looked through past discussions and there seem to be a few people on Studio Veena who’ve had the same issue. X-Poles are pretty accommodating.

[StrangeFox]

Hmm… I’m not sure! My ceilings are a bit lower than yours and I had to use the 500mm and the 250mm (along with the A pole), and when I turned my pole so that the dome was tight against the ceiling the 100mm line was just visible beneath the adjuster. Those extensions are pretty pricey so it might be best to wait to hear back from xpole. They should reply on Monday, and the order likely won’t ship until Monday, either. 🙂 I know it’s painful!

[StrangeFox]

Augh! You’re so close! XD I feel ya! That was a painful week while I was waiting for my B pole replacement! My replacement B pole didn’t arrive until Monday and I was stuck waiting over the weekend. I’ve never wanted Monday to come so badly! But when your B pole gets here you’re going to be soooo excited. It’s worth the wait. You’re gonna love your xpert. 🙂

[StrangeFox]

Hey Autumn Gypsy – I had the same issue. My ceilings in my pole room are about 6’9″. I wound up purchasing the 500mm extension and used that instead of the B pole. I was super disappointed that I had to wait for the 500mm B pole replacement…I was biting my nails!

If you’re not sure which extension you need to purchase, you can email the height of your ceiling to xpole customer service and they’ll get back to you (usually within 24 hours) and let you know which you should purchase. Better yet, if there is another room in your place with a higher ceiling and you can comfortably install your xpert there, I would highly recommend it. I didn’t think the low ceiling would be much of an issue, and it isn’t for spins, conditioning, and floor work, but it sucks for climbs! I’ve hit my head on the ceiling a few times and all I can really get is one or two climbs in.

Best of luck!

[StrangeFox]

Thanks to the helpful suggestions I was able to grip with my knees and pole climb properly today. 🙂 Putting lotion on and rinsing it off works! Fortunately it’s getting humid where I am now so that should help with dry skin too.

Silver Sylph – I’m in Canada so we might have it here. Although, I have noticed most of my favorite bath products are being discontinued and the selections are getting less and less…so maybe not! Haha!

[StrangeFox]

Thanks a bunch, ladies! Those are all great suggestions and I’m going to give them a try. 🙂 I never considered rinsing the moisturizer off, and I do love Aveeno products. I’ve never heard of Corn Huskers, but I’ll keep an eye out for it next time I’m at Walmart.

[StrangeFox]

Congratulations! So glad you’re getting the recognition. You’re doing so many fantastic things for the pole community – keep it up! 🙂 I was actually pleasantly surprised when I mentioned pole dancing at work to find out that a bunch of the ladies had done it as a team building exercise years ago and they’d loved it.

[StrangeFox]

Haha! We were told not to wear lotion at all the day of class, but my instructor said as long as it’s not applied 2 hours before class I’m OK to wear moisturizer. I think the 1 day rule was for oily moisturizers, which is good because with my home pole now I’d never be able to wear moisturizer!

[StrangeFox]

Thanks so much, Veena! My ribs are feeling way better and the pole is so tempting, but I’ve heard intercostal tears are nasty so I’m going to take it easy.

The studio I go to says no lotions but… my skin is normal to dry too and I can’t live without moisturizer! I’m going to try the grip aid combo for sure. I’ll let you know how it works out for me. 🙂