[Runemist34]

Hey Bellini (great name!)
I used to have exactly the same problem- I could, as I said, “stick like a tree-frog” and do climbs, poses, and holds with ease… but spinning? Well, everyone else looked like they were going gracefully around so many more times than I was, and I couldn’t figure it out!
So, first of all, I’ll say this: If you make 1.5 to 2 revolutions, that is NORMAL. For everyone! If you actually count how many times everyone else actually goes around the pole, you’ll find that it’s the same- 1.5 to 2 revolutions. It feels like so little as you’re doing it, and yet looks so awesome when you’re watching!
Next, the “newbie death-grip” will ease. I swear it will. I no longer fully grip with my hand when doing a fireman spin- just more like a full hand claw, sort of like a sloth gripping onto a branch (what’s with all my animal analogies?).
Keep practicing! I’ve been doing the Fireman spin for like, 6 years now, and it’s almost second-nature… but it took a long time to get there!

[Runemist34]

Just wanna say that Stainless steel poles can be a little tricky (granted, I’m in a very humid climate!) because they sometimes just don’t get grippy. I never had to really warm up my stainless, but if it wasn’t grippy, it just wasn’t gonna happen that day. Granted, I was using a Lil Mynx, but I assume that the finish is very similar. I had my stainless for 5 years!
And also, no metal on you should touch that pole. Ever. Scratches and gouges from rings, belt buckles, even shoe straps can seriously harm the pole.
I would see if there’s someplace you can test them out, and check out their assembly, how they feel in your hand. Then you can decide 🙂

[Runemist34]

While I’m inclined to agree with Lucca on the name, the only youtube video I can find is the one more like a back hook spin. The move I think we’re trying to find keeps both feet on the ground.

[Runemist34]

I know the one you’re thinking of!! I’ve seen it before- I’ve even DONE it before! However, I can’t think of the name.
More research, I’ll post again once I figure it out.
Either that, or I’ll post a video later today!

[Runemist34]

No worries, Raspberry!
I do understand trying to rewire yourself to take things slow, and look at it as a journey, rather than a competition that you’re constantly having to keep up with.
One thing to consider is who you’re trying to impress now: You. You’re the only one left to impress! And, you may not really know what your goal is, or what you would think of as “impressive,” or “good work.”
Sometimes, we can be the absolutely hardest on ourselves! We have the highest goals, the greatest blocks, and the most challenging problems to get through, and all of those things can really destroy our self-esteem and our confidence. Trying to live up to those lofty goals while you’re blocking yourself is this horrible push-pull issue, and not the kind that gets you up in an Iron X!

So, take a look, feel out your own challenges and what you want from yourself. Coming from a place where you felt you had to keep up with others can “encourage” the idea that we must “keep up,” and without the others there anymore, you’re left with yourself. It might seem a bit weird, trying to keep up with yourself (you’re already there, right?), but what your mind thinks you SHOULD be able to do, and what you can do, are often very different!

I’m sure you’ll progress really well, and you’ll settle into poleing at home well! 🙂

[Runemist34]

Hey RaspberryAlice!
There are a lot of people on here that have started over after a long hiatus, myself included! It can be really frustrating. And, going from the structure of a studio to the wishy-washy time on your own at home can be really difficult, too, because it’s hard to create that kind of mental and physical space for dancing, for learning, and for focus… especially when you don’t have a specific room for your pole, and it’s just hangin’ out in your living room 😉
Also I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone ask “Why should you care?” On this forum. Rest assured, if you need help, we care! This community has been wonderful. I’ve been here about 5 years, and I just keep coming back for more!
So, my first suggestion would be to slow down! I’m sure you feel that this is obvious, but reminding yourself to slow down and enjoy your rediscovery, and get back in touch with your body, can really do wonders. Avoiding an overtraining injury is pretty key with pole dancing, so see if you can find the great things about going slow and really getting into your beginner moves, and your flow!
Next, for aid with grip, since you mentioned you don’t have any “tacky stuff”… as a beginner, I’ve never found I needed it! So, key points there would be to make sure your pole is warm, and that you are warm, before starting work on your new moves in which you need to stick to the pole. Something like a pole sit can be super difficult when you, your pole, or both of you are still cold!
In order to create the space you want and need to get pole dancing and really enjoy it, you can build your own “class structure,” if you like. I’ve found it useful! I start off with a warm up, get into some freestyle, and then work on the more difficult moves I’ve been trying to get. Afterward, I move on to strength work, and then finish off and cool down with stretching and flexibility training. You can keep it super simple!
I often find that working on two or three moves at a time gives me enough variety, especially if I’m really struggling with one of them. One move is just a bit too little, and I get bored. Too many, like four or more, and I get confused and out of focus!

I would highly suggest Veena’s 30 day Takeoff, as it can introduce some great structure into your pole life. And, Veena’s library of moves is actually all in order of difficulty, so if you find yourself feeling like you’re pushing too hard, you may want to backtrack and see what else you might learn!

Welcome to the forum 🙂

[Runemist34]

Hey there!
Are you putting the pole between these two fingers? As in, pointer finger around one side, and the middle and other fingers around the other way?
That’s my first thought for the reason this part would be in pain. I know that sometimes fingers slip into that position, so you may not even be aware of it, since you’ll be focusing on other things, like your abs and your feet.
Try to keep the pointer finger pointing directly down to the ground! It puts a lot less strain and stretch on that area, and also gives you a lot more stability (and keeps your wrist safe, too!), even if it doesn’t seem like it at first!
A way to practice is just putting your hands in the right positions, and then slowly and carefully trying to transfer your weight, just a bit. You can then work up to full weight, and your hands shouldn’t hurt anymore!

[Runemist34]

Hi joiceiamara!
When it comes to flexibility training, you are working your muscles, and you may be working them (and damaging them) in a very similar way to when you do strength training. The creation of micro-tears in your muscles is considered where the soreness comes from, so you must give your body time to heal properly! Just like any exercise where you’re exerting yourself, rest days are super important.
As for the actual stretching part, the intention is to reach your muscles ONLY to the point of discomfort, not pain! You should NOT be in pain while stretching- it’s a fine line, but a really important one!
You may find that as you begin your stretch for 60 seconds, the discomfort will fade, and you’ll be able to go a little bit further. You can keep doing this till you’re at “max stretch” for yourself at that time, and hold it for the rest of your 60 seconds.

But yes, the main things are to make sure to have rest days (usually two per week), and not to go to the point of pain- just discomfort.
Good luck!

[Runemist34]

Hi Em!
Welcome to Studio Veena! We’re always happy to see new people here 🙂
It sounds like you were more into the intermediate skills- a helicopter here is definitely not beginner! Most spins aren’t either! I’m sure you’ll see a lot of progress with your dancing- the background will definitely help!
And, hopefully it’ll help with your muscle issues, as well. I know it has helped with my own muscle weaknesses, as long as I’m smart about it!
Looking forward to hearing about your progress, and maybe seeing some videos!

[Runemist34]

I think that you can adjust them a bit to get the rest days to all go together. I know someone else was asking about doing the 30 day Takeoff and the 30 days to Flexy at the same time, and Veena said that you can just change things up a bit and get the rest days to all fit together.
I’m sure adjusting the Ab challenge wouldn’t be too hard!

[Runemist34]

Becca, it’s good that you’re still stretching! Flexy training can be tiring, so I understand 😉
Phoenix, that’s awesome! I’m totally freaked out about doing oversplits training- I’m shocked that my hips are THIS far, but oversplits?
I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there 😛
Those middle splits are sooo flat, I’m envious!

[Runemist34]

Thread Necromancy!
It’s been like 15 days since I saw anything in this one, so I thought I’d post and check in!
I don’t have any pictures for now (who knew they’d be so hard for me to get all the time!!) but I am still stretching and working at it!
So, my front right and left splits are coming along- sometimes I feel like they aren’t doing anything, and then mornings like this one, I wonder if I’ve gone too far! But I’m really excited, I’m more flexible in the hips than I’ve ever been!
The middle splits, well, they still suck a bit to stretch (I’ve been doing it with knees bent, to stay stable). Apparently tight hips “runs in the family,” and I’m so determined that it will not drag me down! But, it’s a stretch that I’ve always avoided, so I shouldn’t be too surprised about it being unpleasant for a bit!

I hope everyone else is seeing progress and keeping up with it! I’m always so excited to see everyone’s progress, even if I don’t reply 🙂

[Runemist34]

There’s no reason to be embarrassed- I actually weigh the same as you do, and I’m a bit shorter, 5′ 7″. My hips are about 41 inches, so I’m not that far off.
Honestly, I gained the weight when I started running, but I lost quite a bit of size.
Anyways, what business of it is anyone else’s what you weigh? If they don’t understand that the number on the scale is not an accurate estimation of health, or of your fitness, or of how your body looks and feels, then why tell them at all?
Perhaps they need a little more education 😉

[Runemist34]

I just wanted to mention that I have been inspired to do the same thing! I took some cues from your spreadsheet, and just… ran with it. I scoured all the pole moves lists I know of! I have nearly 100 moves just in the beginner/intermediate range, haha 😉
I’ve been organizing them by way of difficulty, too, so that I can just go down the list and feel comfortable doing all the moves (similar to how Veena has hers set up).
I’ve actually noticed that some of these create some pretty cool combos, too! Maybe it’ll teach me to take my time and come up with some more ways to transition through things, since I’ll have so many options!

[Runemist34]

Pole is going to make you strong- in many ways, you’re using your muscles to lift parts, or all of you! The arm and upper body strength required, as well as the core strength required, will really encourage your body to put on muscle and get strong. That’s a big reason why many of us come to pole in the beginning!
And, the whole “muscle weighs more than fat” thing is totally true! You’ll put on muscle, but you won’t be as big.
So, in many ways, your scale will “lie” to you. Many people believe that the more fit they are, the lower the number on the scale, but that is definitely not true! I’m the thinnest I have ever been, as well as the fittest, but my scale indicates that I am also the heaviest!

[Runemist34]

Sounds like you’ve reached a plateau!
They can be super difficult to get through sometimes. It seems like everything you’re trying to do is too hard, and everything you can do is too easy! You keep trying and trying, but the progress you’re so used to and have been enjoying just isn’t happening.
This happens to nearly anyone who does exercise- Olympic athletes, Distance runners, body builders, and hobbyists to any of these.
I’ve noticed that most people tout the idea of changing your routine! Take a little break from Pole, and try out some calisthenics instead! Do pushups, play on the children’s playgrounds, go for a run, take a bike ride, hit the gym! Anything!
If you want to stick with pole, you could even change up your style. For example, if you primarily play with tricks and just trying to increase strength, you could always challenge yourself to work on your flow, instead. See how many tricks you can string together, see if you can slow it all down super slow. If you dance on just static pole and you have the option, switch to spinning pole!
You can also take a week break, and allow your body to rest, if you feel that you’re just pushing too hard. This is often referred to as a “de-load” week, where you either cut your challenge down by half, or just don’t do it at all. Many people will just change what they do on the de-load week- if you regularly lift weights, you would instead switch to some cardio, like speedy bike riding. If you’re majorly into cardio, you can use the time to work out your muscles, help them to work harder and stronger, without working them for endurance.

But, you’ll get through it! You just need to learn what works for you, and keeps you feeling motivated.

[Runemist34]

A friend of mine had this problem too- she was running a pole studio here for a little while, along with a couple of other teachers, and none of them had any time to dance on their own! She was super strong because she did so much pole work… but none of it was really “for her,” it was pretty much all teaching. Anytime I got her to dance with me she would comment that she “Never does this anymore,” and would easily slip into teaching me something, because it seemed to be more comfortable for her.
It sounds like you have a really good plan, even if it is a little uncomfortable for you! Picking up some new instructors for your studio will be important! And, it’s good that you realize the importance and responsibility in teaching. Would it be possible for you to supervise a class that they teach for a bit, or have your friend do it? That way, you know that your students will be in good hands, and you can quickly (and discreetly) correct any blunders or missteps! I know that seems like more work, but maybe you could make it one of the classes you teach already- instead of adding more time to your schedule, you’ll be using the same time, but simply observing, rather than actively teaching.
In the end, it sounds like having more teachers for the studio will really benefit you!
Maybe you can also schedule your time for e-mails and phone calls. Yes, they need to be dealt with, but perhaps you could just say “I’ll do an hour each day, and that’s it!” Your time is precious! Does your friend help with e-mails and phone calls as well? Perhaps there’s a way for you to delegate some of those tasks! You could hire a part-time front desk person?

But, yeah, it sounds like you’ve reached burnout… I’ve been there, and I think lots of us have! It’s really hard, but don’t forget that you’ve taken on a big project… and you ARE doing it! That’s something to be proud of! You made it happen. Now, you just need to slowly and carefully step back a bit. 😉

[Runemist34]

What I’ve found is that the journey of self-discovery is HOW you make it in the world. I wouldn’t be able to work, or have the relationship I have, or anything else, without that self-discovery.
Yes, your family is counting on you… but you must also count on them!

[Runemist34]

Serzi, like I said, you aren’t often put in a place where you’re able to see it coming- that’s part of how objectification and sexual assault works. Usually, we only get a chance to react to what has already happened, rather than to act before it comes up.
Feeling a level of control, however, is something that permeates a larger part of life, and indicates (to me) some deeper issues that you may want to look into. I’m not saying that you’re “screwed up” or anything, because you aren’t! However, considering what has happened to you before, and the way you speak when you talk about these things, I think that dealing with these deeper problems will help you much more than simply diving into “I might as well be paid for being objectified.”
You clearly do not like being objectified. Would monetary compensation really make you feel better about it? Or would you prefer to feel more in control, more able to deal with these circumstances when they come up?
And then, when you DO feel more in control and capable, you could totally go try stripping out and see if it fits you anyways!
But, doing it because you don’t feel like you have any control over it… seems like money would be poor compensation for what you’re feeling.

[Runemist34]

Hey Lola!
I’m really sorry you’re having so much trouble. It sounds like you’ve reached a bit of a plateau, and that’s a tough spot to be in- it’s all too easy, or too hard, right?
I feel like, this time, you’re gonna have to find the passion straight from you! And, that can be kind of difficult, but also lots of fun!
Do you have any moves, or combos, that feel fun and maybe a little challenging? Do you have some moves you LOVE to do, that fit the bill for the difficulty? Or, are there some moves that are in the difficulty requirement that you’re working on now, that you could focus on, that you love to do?
Connecting with the things that you really enjoy about pole, and with the songs you love to do that to, I think, will help you form some choreography that you feel passionate about, and don’t get bored or unhappy with when you practice!
And, it’ll help you hone in on what you can do for your competition 😉

[Runemist34]

I do also agree with the others; stripping is a profession I have a lot of respect for! I know that I couldn’t do it (I’m super uncomfortable with random people touching me, or me touching them, and I’m not okay on stage yet, and I’m not good at hustling! lol!), but I think that people who can are amazing.
And, if you take a step back, look at how things are going, make some action plans for yourself to take your power back, and one of the things you try is stripping at a club, then cool! It’s always up to you 🙂

[Runemist34]

I think that going in the completely opposite direction of your comfort, “because life seems to be going that way,” is totally the wrong answer. You’re not being true to yourself in this one, you’re just grabbing at straws because you’re frustrated, afraid, and feeling out-of-control. I have done this, I’ve watched other people do it, and it never really ends well- it has not resulted in happiness, in either my experience, or in those that I observe.
So, my first thought is that you need to assess your working conditions. I’ve not had a “touching issue” when working any of my jobs, though some nonverbal use of contact has been done in order to let me know that someone is, for example, next to be, behind me, or under me when reaching into the safe. These kinds of contacts, for me, are fine because either of us may be speaking at the time, or otherwise occupied, and the easiest way to communicate is though touching. Sometimes, this can also be a “tap, tap” to say, “Please shift your hip away, you’re blocking where I need to be.” I’m also comfortable with this sort of contact.
However, being manhandled in a way that people would just move me around, would not be a comfortable sort of contact. Obviously, unwanted sexual contact is a complete no-no, but you know that already. In many cases, we are not often able to take pro-active action, and are only able to react to someone else’s actions (such as touching us in ways we don’t want).
So, What sorts of touching are you REALLY receiving? Where is your line drawn, what kinds of touching and from whom is okay? Are you feeling oversensitive to any kind of touching because of the previous issues you’ve had? Do you feel that you are frustrated with yourself, or with the actions of other people?
None of these things are bad things. If you’re feeling oversensitive to any kind of touching, that is simply where you are right now. You’ve had bad experiences, you’re scared or frustrated, you feel that there is danger… and your “line” is drawn much differently than other people’s. It’s not wrong, but being aware of it is important for your ability to communicate your needs.
If you’re frustrated with yourself, perhaps recognizing what the problem is, and realizing that there are reasons for your sensitivity, and that you may have to be gentle and easy with yourself will help. And, perhaps you will endeavor to change your behavior, and take a stronger look at what’s going on inside of you. Both of these options are fine, but they must be based in what you can do, and where you are in your journey.
My second thought is that you are in charge of your life- if things aren’t working, you need to seek change! We, as humans, are adverse to change and it can be very difficult. It’s similar to the problem of “Devil you know, devil you don’t.” When things change, or when we change things, we are moving toward the unknown, and that can be very uncomfortable and scary… but, sometimes it is necessary. We can adjust the change, we can set our intentions and move in directions we think would be best for us and for those around us.
It sounds like you’re under a lot of stress for being a major breadwinner in your family, as well as a mother. Is there someone else in your life that may be able to help you with this? Are they already helping in a monetary sense, but could perhaps change some behaviors in order to help you outside of the money problem? Or, do you need to drop some things (or people) in your life that are dragging you down, making things harder? All of these changes can be hard, difficult to ask for or admit to yourself, but sometimes analyzing them and realizing your needs is the hardest step.
Also, you must be in charge of yourself in your workplace. It can be very easy to feel helpless, victimized, in places like that. I’ve never really found a job at the minimum-wage range that makes you feel empowered. They want to keep you, and everyone else, down as much as possible. It’s manipulation, but you don’t need to accept it. Your actions, and the interactions you have with other people, are yours to control and create. If people are touching you in ways you don’t like, you need to be clear and forward with them and let them know they are overstepping your bounds.

Finally, I would also suggest counselling. It sounds like there may be some underlying stressors and problems that you’re dealing with, and if you’re feeling so frustrated, I would think that some extra help would be very useful to you. Talk to a doctor about it, or find some other avenues to get you some help- even temporary help can be extremely useful. I’ve had counselors change my life and my thinking in just one session.

Allowing yourself space and time to think, to look at how things are and how things aren’t working for you, is really important. I keep a journal for this purpose, and I would highly recommend it to literally everyone in the world.

Good luck

[Runemist34]

Doesn’t seem OCD to me at all! I made a list- I highlight the ones I’m working on, and can make notes, such as “I can only get this on dominant side,” and once I got them, I remove them from the list.
I think a spreadsheet is good!
I’ve also been thinking about adding in combo moves and challenges to my list, to push myself into more “dancing” and less “tricking.” 😉

[Runemist34]

Hi there!
It seems strange to me that you would get headaches or dizziness from bridges and backbends. Hair whipping can be dizzy-making if you’re doing it a lot, though.
Do you do a lot of spinning on the pole? Are you doing many inversions?
Factors that could affect these things would be things like breathing (whether you’re doing it or not during these moves- breathing is very important!), and how much water you drink throughout the day. I’ve found that drinking enough water, not just when I’m working out, but all through the day, and on rest days!
Other things are how recently you started these moves, and how much you’re pushing yourself. Our bodies take time to figure out the inversion and spinning movements, and for some people, it can even take months.

[Runemist34]

That’s a good question! I think that you could, and maybe line up your rest days?